Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

Start from scratch.

Chapter 22 – Patience

Tori's POV

I didn't sleep well after getting home from the hospital. I just kept tossing and turning, worrying about Jade and obsessing what Beck had done to her. Once she was a proud, tough, confident woman, now she was a mere shell of a person.

I've been told it's not my fault, but I certainly had a part to play in this little drama.

When I got the phone message from Jade yesterday, I told my supervisor I had to leave early as it was an emergency. Today was Friday and I had decided to call in, saying I was still dealing with the emergency. I had far too much to do today. Plus it was Friday and I had a shift at The Playpen, but I would go to that. I need someone to talk to and Barbie will gladly listen.

I got up, dressed, had a quick bite to eat and headed to my first stop, the police station. I was met there by Detective Gallo and his partner. There, I had some forms to fill out. It was all rather routine, but I had one other piece of business. I had to get permission to get into Jade's apartment and get her stuff out. I wanted her stuff out of there today. Even if she's not coming home right away, I just can't stand the thought of her stuff in that horrible place.

I was told that was ok and was told the landlord would be told to be expecting me.

I asked about the current state of the case against Beck and was told the D.A. would be meeting with her this afternoon. They expected formal charges would be filed on Monday.

It was mid-morning when I got out of the police station and after a stop at a florist I made my way to the hospital. Entering I found I was rather nervous about visiting Jade, though I really didn't know why.

As I came towards Jade's room I saw Dr. Cortez.

"Hello Doctor, how is Jade today?"

"She's Ok, but she's spent most of the morning, silently staring out the window. I think she'll be glad to see you, though I don't think she'll actually show it. Just be patient. Oh, I have some good news for her. The hospital has given her leave from her job and she can have it back when she feels up to it."

"Thank you. I'll let her know that." I said before heading into Jade's room.

I took several steps inside and there was Jade, looking as beat up as ever, staring out the window with an expression that indicated she was deep in thought.

"Hi Jade." I said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

Other than blinking the Goth, acted as if she hadn't even noticed me, she just kept looking out the window.

I held up the vase of flowers I got her. "I got you these flowers, thought it would brighten up your room."

Again she didn't react, much to my frustration.

I placed the vase of flowers on a nearby table and sat down, next to but not too near the bed. I guessed she didn't want her space invaded either.

I started to talk about how I stopped at the police station and how the District Attorney was going to stop by but she seemed to be totally ignoring my presence.

Maybe it's just me, but I went through a lot to get Jade free of Beck and to be ignored was really annoying. She needed to engage with people to get better, not just stare out the window like a mannequin in department store window.

"Earth to Jade?"

No response.

I huffed loudly, making sure to sound annoyed and again I was ignored.

I thought for a minute how to get Jade to snap out of it, I realized that if I was going to succeed in helping her, I needed to be patient.

So I just pulled out my phone and started to play candy crush, she would talk to me when she felt ready.

I played that for a while, then I emailed Robbie and Andre, letting them know what happened. Both emailed back quickly, informing me how appalled they were about Beck's actions and wished Jade a speedy recovery.

I waited patiently and my patience was rewarded when almost 80 minutes, later Jade suddenly turned at looked at me.

Now that she finally noticed I was here, I suddenly found myself with nothing to say. So I just said.

"Hey."

"Hey." Jade said back in a soft tone of voice.

Then she pointed to the bandage over her left eye. "They say I have to wear this for a few weeks. My eye socket is cracked, though they say my vision won't be affected. Not to mention my nose is broken. I look terrible don't I?"

"Do you really want me to answer that question?"

Jade shifted in bed and let out a small groan of pain. "No."

"Oh…I'm supposed to tell you, the hospital is keeping your job until you get better. You're on leave at the moment."

Not looking thrilled, Jade nodded. "Ok."

"I got permission to get your stuff today. Any special instructions?"

Jade thought for a moment. "My dresser is the one painted black, everything in it and everything on top of it. Do not forget my scissors! My bathroom stuff is in a green basket under the sink. My bags and a suitcase are in the closet. My laptop is on the desk in the main room. You've seen it and if you happen to break anything of he who shall not be named, than all the better. I want to be alone, you can go now!"

Being suddenly dismissed left me feeling a bit put off, but under the circumstances it was perfectly understandable. As soon as she finished talking, Jade turned away and looked back towards the window.

"Ok then. Later." I said before departing.

45 minutes later, I was at the door of Jade's apartment. Detective Gallo had called the landlord and he was expecting me. He walked me up to Jade's door which was still covered with Police tape.

"You can just lock the door and close it before you leave. I just wish those police hadn't broken the door down. I had to have it replaced. I'm taking it out of their security deposit." Grumbled the landlord, as he unlocked the door.

After unlocking the door, the landlord said goodbye and walked off. I paused for a moment and took a deep breath, before pulling back the police tape and opening the door.

After entering the apartment and closing the door behind me, it appeared exactly as it did yesterday. The place was filled with an unearthly silence that was quickly broken by the low hum of the refrigerator.

Just knowing what happened here, I quickly grew very uncomfortable. It was just a very bad feeling in the started in the pit of my stomach and slowly seemed to permeate my whole body. Not wanting to remain any longer than I had to, I threw open the closet door and found a large duffle bag, backpack and suitcase as Jade had described.

I took those items, walked into the bedroom and as I was about to toss them on the bed, I froze.

The covers the bed had been pulled back to reveal there was blood on the sheets. There were several spots about the size of a grapefruit, along with a number of smaller ones. That sickening feeling inside of me seemed to grow 10 fold and for a moment thought I'd lose my lunch.

"Bastard!" I cursed.

Covering up the bloodstains, I quickly got to work emptying out Jade's dresser. I figured out which side of the bed was hers and threw the horror novel, pearpod and alarm clock in the suitcase as well. I then moved to the bathroom and got her stuff as well. Just as I was about her laptop I spotted a number of photographs on the wall.

A few were landscapes but the rest were of Jade and Beck. In each picture Beck was smiling and Jade…well she doesn't usually smile….but she did smirk in a few. But it was Beck's happy smile that seemed to mock me and the guilt I felt.

There was one with both of them in formal dress, probably some fancy party I guess, in an expansive frame. Suddenly filled with rage, I pulled the picture off the wall, threw it to the ground stomped on it, breaking the glass.

Not happy with ruining one picture, I grabbed the trash can and pulled down every single picture of either Beck or Beck with Jade. He had a lot of them together. He probably did that to stress, that they were meant to be together.

I furiously smashed each frame, broke the glass and tore up the photo for every single one. I hated seeing them together and I needed destroy them all. When I had run out of photos on the wall, I still wasn't satisfied. In a frenzy, I searched for more photos and found a couple of photo albums. He seemed to have carefully taken care of them. Every single picture of Beck I found, I removed and destroyed.

When I was finished I threw one of them against the wall. I had become so suddenly and uncontrollably angry I found I could no longer control it.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER! ASSHOLE, I HATE YOU. SHE'S BRIGHT AND SPECIAL AND YOU HAD TO DESTROY HER!" I screamed in rage as I threw another of his precious photo albums against the wall.

I then sank to the floor and with my emotions running out of control, burst into tears. I cried for several minutes, before getting my emotions under control. I had suppressed a lot of emotions during my time alone and I'm just realizing how much I still have to come to terms with things.

After my outburst was over, I finished packing and even found Jade's keys, called a cab and headed out. There was no way, I'd be able to lug all this crap in the subway.

By the time I got home it was already 2:30 in the afternoon and I was tired. Having to work at The Playpen that night, I dropped Jade's things in a corner and took a nap.

After 2 hour nap, I ate dinner and headed to work at The Playpen. Just as I started to get dressed for my shift, Barbie came in and instantly looked at the bandage on my temple.

"What happened?"

"Jade's boyfriend Beck, smashed me in the head with a rubber gun."

Barbie's face scrunched up briefly. "I get the impression there's just a bit more to the story here."

So as we dressed, I told her the whole story of Jade's discovery, her attempt to leave, Beck catching her, what he did to her after that and my little charade.

When I finished, Barbie's eyes were open as wide as they could be. "Oh my God, aren't you are just the bad ass cavalry coming to the rescue. If you weren't into Jade, I would so take you to bed for that. Hell that's worth a whole weekends of animalistic sex."

Then with an embarrassed look, Barbie then quipped. "But I digress…I guess I'll have to erase all the nasty shit I wrote about her on the wall of the men's room."

Seriously, did she write crap about Jade on the wall? "What?"

"Relax sugar, I wrote it on the wall right after she went back to the creep. I would have put her phone number but I didn't have it. I'll just paint over the name Jade with the name of one of the Kardashians or something. Sorry."

"She's moving back in with me, hopefully on Monday, when they are planning to release her from the hospital. I'm going to help with her recovery. As I told you, we're just going to be friends for now."

Barbie put her arm around me and grew serious. "You're doing a noble thing and I'm proud of you, but don't think for a second you and your friendship won't be tested. You also need to realize that the old Jade, may never come back. I knew a girl in high school who was raped; she was never the same again. She had this really nice smile, one of those ones that make you feel warm inside and after, I never saw that smile again."

The thought of old Jade not being back, filled me with dread. "I hope not."

"Look, I'm not saying this to bring you down. I'm just want you to know what you're in store for. The thing is, I know you can do it." Barbie then smiled warmly. "Hey, If you ever need someone to lean on or maybe even just a nice multiple orgasm….we'll I'm your girl."

She was a true and good friend, and the funny thing is…I'm positive the offer of a multiple orgasm is a genuine one."

"Thanks Barbie." I said with a peck on the cheek.

She laughed and touched where I kissed her. "Sure, get me all hot and bothered. Now I'm going to have to sleep with one of the strippers now to relieve myself of all this tension…..COOL!"

Talking to Barbie helped a lot.

I saw Jade the next day and she was much like the day before, spending most of her time looking out the window. She did talk to me briefly, saying the District Attorney came by and asked all kinds of questions. She did tell me she answered all of him. I had told her that I had gotten her stuff, to which she said.

"Was anything of his broken?"

I took a deep breath and exhaled, "Every single picture of him or him and you, in both the photo albums and the pictures on the walls were destroyed. All the frames were smashed as well."

Jade then looked at me with a somewhat neutral expression. I had no idea if she'd smile or get mad.

"You did well, thank you. I want to be alone now."

Sunday came and I heard form Detective Gallo, Jade was able to come up with the dates of 20 separate times Beck raped her, not including the other day. So the District attorney is going to charge him with 2 counts of assault and 20 counts of 1st degree sexual assault. I was told Beck could potentially get life without parole.

I told Jade about the charges when I visited her and she barely acknowledged what I said. I sat with her, for another 2 hours without her acknowledging me, before I went home.

On Monday I came to take Jade home, I had taken yet another day off to help her come home. Upon reaching the hospital, he said that Jade was scheduled to see him twice a week for therapy sessions and he was seeing about finding a suitable group therapy for her. He told me to be patient and gave his card in case there were any problems. He said to make sure Jade got lots of rest, ate well and to try to have her avoid drinking.

Then he walked me into Jade's room where she was ready to be wheeled out in a wheel chair. She still had bandage over her nose and eye and several bruises were very visible.

"Ready to go Jade?"

"Whatever." Muttered Jade with a rather sour look.

The nurse wheeled Jade outside where I had a cab waiting. Wordlessly she got out and put herself in the cab. I then got in and we were on our way.

"I have all of your stuff in the corner, if I've missed anything we or I can go back. I found your keys so we don't have to bug the landlord."

Jade nodded, but remained silent. I've since come to the conclusion that it was best to let Jade talk when she wanted too. Trying to force her to talk by making small talk or the like, my not be the best of ideas.

As we arrived I asked. "Do you need any help with the stairs?"

"No." Jade said sharply.

We went upstairs and as we entered I pointed to the corner.

"I put your bags, suitcases and laptop in the corner. I think I have all right chargers. You can sort through it at your leisure. I've made some space in my storage unit in the basement, in case you want to put any of it down there."

"Ok."

I then pointed to the couch. I got the couch set up with a pillow and a nice blanket. I'm making stir fry tonight so just relax and let me know if you need anything."

Jade ran her hand through her hair. "It's 1:30. I'm going to take a nap. I'm tired."

"Ok, I'm starting dinner at 5. I'll be in my room watching TV if you want anything."

Jade said nothing and lay down on the couch. I spent the rest of the day in my room, watching TV and reading. At 5:30 I came out of my room, to find Jade had just woken up and was watching the scissoring.

"How did you sleep?"

Not looking away from the TV, Jade answered. "Fine."

"Well, I'll be in the kitchen, give me a holler if you need anything."

I was glad to have Jade back, but still my feelings of guilt and deep concern for her well-being plagued me. I made dinner and though normally we eat in the kitchen, I thought Jade would be more comfortable eating on trays at the couch.

We ate dinner in silence as we watched the tail end of the scissoring and the start of another horror film, the 1990 version of night of the living dead. Jade made no attempt at conversation, other than a simple "Thanks" when I put the plate on her tray.

After cleaning up dinner, I walked back in the living room by Jade. "I was going to make Taco's tomorrow. If there is anything special you'd like please let me know and I'll put it on the menu. Don't feel like you need to cook or anything, just relax and tell me if you need anything at all."

It was when I said that, I put my hand on Jade's shoulder in a reassuring manner. I did so without even thinking about it.

The second I touched Jade's shoulder, she instantly shot off the couch, moved away from me and blew her top.

"I told you not to touch me you stupid fat cow or don't you speak English! DON'T TOUCH ME! Or here it is in Spanish so you can get it through your thick skull, NO ME TOQUES."

I was stunned how she went from being quiet and somewhat placid to utterly livid in mere seconds.

Apparently not satisfied by what she had said, Jade continued to berate me. "God are you ever so fucking stupid Vega!"

She then went on for another 30 second so, telling me how stupid I was, before sitting back down. At one point she said I make Trina look like a fucking genius, now that's just mean.

I found my reaction to her was almost instinctive, as I quickly suppressed all my emotions and returned her rant with an icy stare. She simply returned her attention to the TV.

"I'll be in my room." I said in a voice almost devoid of any emotion. I then turned and went into my room, not bothering to look back.

Alone in my room I closed the door and fell onto the bed, with a forlorn sigh. I'm not sure which was more disturbing to me, Jade's sudden burst of intense anger or the fact that I just as quickly went icy cold without even thinking about it. It was like an automatic defense mechanism, she yelled and I just shut down.

How in the hell am I going to be able to help her? I don't have her here more than 8 hours before I accidently set Jade off. For all I know I'm going to do more harm than good. Am I even equipped to do this. I found the questions came quick and hard as my self-confidence quickly faded.

Look at me, I blow up at Jade's apartment one day and totally shut down when she attacks me a couple days later, am I really ready for this? A few hours I was confident I could help her, right at this moment….I'm just not sure.

It's going to be a long road and I think we just took about 5 steps backwards.