disclaimer: i do not own marvel

Chapter 9

"I have a new deal."

Loki listened with curiosity to Pepper's idea and honestly he was quite fascinated by her offer. Yes, one could still say there were many negative sides to it, but the positives far outweighed the negatives, not to mention all the fun available to him. And the opportunities! He'd take immense joy in the fact that Tony Stark would have to listen to him and obey his commands. That man would surely struggle and give a verbal fight, but Loki knew that Stark would have no say in the matter if Pepper decided that he – "Locke Ladislav" – would be Tony's new personal assistant.

He found it amusing that Pepper was about to unknowingly throw a man for whom she cared deeply into the "loving" arms of the enemy, placing her trust in Loki's ability to guide or coerce Tony into listening. Of course there were risks, but he did not look like his former self anymore. His more Aesir looks deceived the eyes. He also had no choice but to accept living quarters in Stark Tower; that would prove less than pleasing. But who would ever suspect that Anthony Stark's perfectly human assistant was the former God of Chaos? No, this offer sounded too delicious to resist and Loki let the answer roll from his tongue.

"I accept this opportunity." With pleasure. "When would you like me to start, Miss Potts?" He kept his face a mask of indifference, keeping the mad laugh at the back of his mind. Eheheheheh.

"Tonight. I hate prolonging this, so I'll fill you in with the details during our drive over to the penthouse. I'm taking this opportunity to also provide you with a change of clothes, seeing as you have no possessions. You need to make sure you get appropriate attire over the next few days. As Tony's assistant, you need to be ready for anything, so make sure to get at least one decent suit."

Loki smirked. Finally, I can get out of these bag-like, worn-out garments. They have far outlived their original purpose.

"And have that thing," she gestured to his growing beard, "shaved off."

I would have shaved, cut, or burned it off already if given the chance. He rubbed his chin. After a full month of not tending to it, the dirty blond hairs had grown much longer than he liked. "Gladly," he said.

"Right. I'll be downstairs. Make sure you're ready in fifteen minutes." Pepper left him to get dressed. As she walked away, she flipped her cell phone to dial their driver.

Well, at least these garments are clean. Loki inspected the clothing Pepper had left on the bed. She must have gathered them on short notice, but at least the sizes matched and the colours didn't clash. He discarded the clothes he'd been wearing – a faded orange shirt with dark green and pale yellow symbols. A relic from the past. An older nurse had provided him with clothing her son used to wear. "Used to" being the correct term after hearing that these garments came from an era called the early nineties. He hoped the designer would eternally burn for creating this atrocity. At least the grey sweatpants were comfortable.

Dark grey jeans lay on the bed, accompanied by a simple long-sleeved black shirt. Pepper even had the decency to provide him with suitable undergarments, something he wasn't wearing currently, but had desperately wanted. Appreciative to a certain degree, he got dressed, revelling in the clean feeling of new fabric against bare skin. Now he only needed to get rid of that annoying fuzz called a beard, then he could consider himself somewhat presentable.

Packing would not be difficult, considering he had no worldly possessions aside from a few books. He did miss that aspect of his previous home. His room in Asgard had held important tomes that were now probably in the hands of brute fools who couldn't recognise their worth. The knowledge books held had more power over things than fists had any day.

He picked up his belongings and left the hospital room, giving a friendly smile to a passing nurse. Yes, goodbye to you all and good riddance.

"You're early," Pepper noted.

"Of course I am. Why would I be otherwise?" Loki saw no point in waiting inside the hospital room until the clock had marked his time to leave. "Dawdling has no point. I suspect you have similar views."

"Locke, you're correct. I'm pleasantly surprised," Pepper smiled. "Generally the people around me have no respect for deadlines, so timely arrivals are rather scarce." Especially from the person named Anthony Stark.

Silently, Pepper hoped that some of Locke's behaviour would rub off on Tony, but you can never be too sure. It was hard imagining Tony taking this new assistant seriously. At least she was sure that Locke wouldn't be talked out of anything, let alone end up in Tony's bed after a few days of work. That is, if you can call making bad coffee "work."

"We should leave," Pepper said. "Tony's probably ignoring his new rules and drinking again."

"Can't have that now, can we?" Loki shook away the memory of a bright red car speeding toward him. He'd felt so frozen with fright that he'd stood there just like a stunned animal. Even now, he felt shameful for his actions.

Pepper shook her head. "Alcohol is not entirely to blame, but I can't deny it played its role. Part of your job is to try and keep Tony's public drunkenness to a minimum. Trust me when I say that'll be a difficult accomplishment."

"I'll do what I can, Miss Potts. It is, after all, in both your interests and my own. Suffice to say, I myself am not overly fond of drunk people." Or drunk Asgardians. Not that there is much of a difference between the two. They both act like toddlers.

A long, sleek, black car came into view and halted near the sidewalk. The driver exited and gave them a polite wave. "Good evening, Miss Potts."

"Evening, Happy. Take us to the tower, will you? By the way, this is Locke Ladislav. He'll be Tony's personal assistant from now on." The driver opened the door to the back seats, revealing the light grey interior and the leather car seats.

"Sir," Harvey gave a nod to Loki, who did not mind the gesture at all.

The drive to the tower was short and silent, and much to Loki's dissatisfaction, he felt hungry. He also felt nervous, its intrusion biting on the edges of his conscious brain. As time passed, it finally became so strong that he couldn't ignore it. Before he realized it, he spoke out loud. "Do you think it will be alright?"

This man is an enigma. He's secure and in control of himself one moment, and then suddenly, his emotions take over. Pepper couldn't help but notice the similarities between some of Locke's mannerisms and Tony's, though the man before her definitely had a different way of showing them. Pepper took a deep breath. "I won't lie," she said rather delicately. "I don't think Tony's going to be happy that you're his new assistant. But after a few days, he'll calm down. Who knows? You two might even befriend each other."

It was not the answer he'd been expecting, and the look she gave surprised him with its kindness and warmth. It wasn't the least bit condescending and somehow he saw her eyes recognising something in him.

"Actually, I'm sure you will make a great assistant," she concluded. Pepper couldn't quite place her finger on it, but of this, she was sure. Tony could use someone that had the guts to talk back to him. He needed somebody who wouldn't be persuaded or misled by petty words and presents, a person with a personality strong enough to withstand Tony's.

The car stopped in front of Stark Tower and the driver bid them goodnight. Loki and Pepper walked toward the reception area. A young, brown-haired boy carrying a set of boxes sped past them in a hurry. That smells delicious. Loki's hunger flared up. He had already eaten, but the smell emanating from the boxes made his mouth water. He stopped walking for a second and followed the boy running towards the receptionist.

"These are pizzas for Mr. Stark." The boy said, handing the boxes to the receptionist for delivery to the penthouse.

"Locke? Are you coming?"

Loki snapped out of it. "Yes." He walked over to Pepper, ignoring the rumbling feelings in his stomach. His body seemed to crave this "pizza" and when the chance next presented itself to him, he would have it.

The elevator doors slid open and they entered. As the doors closed, Pepper spoke. "Jarvis?"

Who is Jarvis?

"Yes, Miss Potts?"

Loki was startled by the voice. "Who is that? Speak up!" He looked around, but couldn't see anyone else.

Pepper made a soft but audible laugh. "Locke, what you heard is Jarvis. He's an A.I. created by Tony. Jarvis, this is Locke Ladislav."

"It's nice to meet you again, sir. I'm glad to see that you are doing well."

Pepper saw the confused look on Locke's face. "Jarvis is installed everywhere that Tony can put him, including vehicles. Jarvis essentially is what saved your life and Tony's life the day of the crash."

Loki still looked around suspiciously, not trusting the bodiless voice completely. "You have my gratitude…Jarvis."

Pepper spoke again. "Jarvis, please put Locke on speech recognition and give him a Level Two clearance for the penthouse."

"Done," Jarvis complied. "Miss Potts, do you require anything else?"

"Not right now, Jarvis. Thank you."

Loki paused a moment before asking. "What did you, or rather it, just give me?"

"Level Two clearance for the penthouse. It's most of the same rights that I have for accessing various rooms in the building. Level Two means you can enter Tony's personal living quarters freely, but the lab and a handful of rooms above it are off limits. The voice recognition is for Jarvis. If there is anything you need, you can ask him for assistance." The elevator stopped. "All right, we're here. Just wait in the hallway until I break the news to Tony." She left him standing there.

Loki grinned. And miss out on the fun? No way.

"Pepper, why did Jarvis not tell me about my other guest?" Tony did not sound pleased.

"He's here on my invitation," Pepper replied.

"He?" The surprise in Tony's voice was obvious.

"Your new personal assistant, of course. I found somebody with all the right qualifications."

Loki nearly shook with laughter, but he forced himself to keep a straight face at the sight of Iron Man Tony Stark choking on his food as he stepped into view. "Good evening, Stark."

Tony raised his hand and stood up, giving Pepper the halt signal. "Just," he coughed as he tried to get his food down, "give me a second to digest this." The man cleared his throat and managed to empty the remaining contents of his glass before Pepper could stop him. Instead, she threw him a withering glare. "Better," he smiled weakly, and put the glass back down on the small, black table next to the sofa. Tony paused for a moment, taking in Loki's presence, and then turned back to Pepper.

"No offense, Locke," he made an apologetic gesture towards the man, "But Pepper, are you out of your mind? He's not exactly what I would call 'qualified' for the job. Christ, this is not what I meant when I agreed to make some jobs available for these types of people. Does he even have references?"

So this is essentially Stark's idea. Strange.

"No, Tony," Pepper argued back. "He is exactly what I would call 'qualified.' And perhaps if you ever bothered to look past appearances, you might see that as well."

"Oh come on! Can the guy even do…what it is that assistants do? Make shitty coffee and stuff like that?"

"You're stuck with him, Tony. There is no getting out of this. I have done what I needed to do and that is hiring a capable person—"

"Now I definitely need another drink. Oh, wait a second, if he's my assistant then isn't that part of his job? Maybe I should put him to work already." Tony picked up his cup and waved it around crudely. "Fetch me a drink, will you?" Tony's whole spiel came out harsher then he'd intended. Crap.

Pepper rolled her eyes in a way he recognised as the "Really, Tony?!" look.

Whatever, he'll be gone soon enough. Tony slumped back into the couch.

"You really need to be more tactful when addressing people," Pepper reprimanded.

"I was being tactful as always."

"You were being an ass."

"Then my ass should not be this fine."

Pepper practically glared. "Stop it, Tony. Mr. Ladislav is staying here. Period."

Tony cocked an eyebrow. "He is staying where now? Here? That is a bad joke, Pep." She gave him the look again. "So it's not a joke. Damn."

Tony noticed Locke returning with his glass and putting it down. He eagerly took it and brought it to his lips for a large gulp of whatever alcohol was in it.

Loki had walked off pissed. The gall that man has to address me like that. The condescending tone made it pretty clear how Stark felt about "his" kind of people. It was the same kind of tone he himself had used to describe humans and other lower creatures.

I will get him for this.

He had located the kitchen with ease and soon started rummaging through the cupboards near a large espresso machine. His eyes turned to amused slits at finding something that would suit his current goal. Perfect. His idea was childish, but Loki was sure this would cause the man displeasure. If he recalled correctly, Stark drank nothing but coffee or alcoholic beverages. Both of which were unhealthy, especially in large quantities. Well, Stark, it seems a change of diet is in order.

He prepared the drink which had the same kind of honey colour as some of Stark's alcoholic beverages. He took it to the living room where Stark was no doubt trying, in vain, to persuade Pepper from having him as house guest. The fool. He smirked to himself. He heard their voices more clearly now and Pepper's held victory. He set the drink down slowly, making sure that Tony would notice its arrival. The man took it rapidly, bringing it to his mouth and taking a large gulp of the honey-coloured liquid.

Tony started coughing immediately. "What is this shit?"

Feigning ignorance, Loki answered, "Herbal tea I found in one of the cupboards."

"Ok, first lesson if you're going stay, I do not drink herbal tea. Or any other kind of tea. Or just anything healthy."

Pepper couldn't help the laugh that escaped from her. She'd completely forgotten about the herbal tea which she'd bought a while ago on a whim. It was a bitter tasting solution of spices and herbs meant to cure hangovers and it could be steeped in either hot or cold water. It was obvious that Locke had chosen to steep it in cold water to give it the impression of being a type of whiskey. He really must have searched for this, she thought to herself. Because even if she tried, she could not recall where in the kitchen she had put the concoction. Tony glared at her with the look of a betrayed child.

"So this is your doing!" Tony quickly grabbed a slice of pizza to get rid of the awful taste the drink left in his mouth. "You guys might as well sit down and eat some pizza. After all, according to some, 'mi casa es su casa.'"

God, that was a dirty trick, Tony thought to himself, though secretly he felt a sliver of respect. It took some guts to try and serve him herbal tea. Even Pepper wouldn't have tried it, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to try to get back at the guy. Tony started searching through the pizza boxes. When he'd called in the order, he told them to send him a random assortment. That meant there was bound to be one pizza covered with anchovies somewhere in the pile. "Here," he said finally, holding up a slice for his new assistant, Locke.

Loki eyed Stark with suspicion, but took the offered slice. His body still seemed to crave this pizza and he felt he could not deny his hunger for this greasy-looking food. He took a bite and started chewing. Why is Stark still staring at me? The man kept looking at him expectantly as if waiting for something to happen. Loki felt uncomfortable with this and wanted him to stop, so he stared straight back while finishing the last bite.

"You are staring at me. Is that not considered impolite?"

"You ate the pizza," replied Tony.

"Of course I ate it. You offered it, did you not?" Humans always seemed to repeat the most obvious things. Loki helped himself to another slice. He actually quite liked the salty taste.

Tony let out a frustrated sigh and looked away feeling irritated. Well, guess there are people who like anchovies. That ruined my fun.

Pepper fought to keep a self-satisfied grin from escaping as the introductions progressed. She clapped her hands lightly together to get their attention. "Okay, now that both of you are more or less settled and paying attention, I can finally run you both through the new living conditions. Locke, you have the first guest room. It should be large enough to suit your accommodation here. It comes with a small dressing room that is currently empty except for some basic clean clothing. I took the liberty of arranging those for you. It also has a private bathroom and toilet. However, you'll share the regular living quarters and the kitchen with Tony. And Tony, I want you to give Locke a tour later this evening or tomorrow morning."

Tony waved her comment off. "Yeah, yeah, a tour. How lovely."

Loki kept silent as he listened. At least he had his own living quarters again. It had been a while since he'd had any real privacy. The hospital provided some rest but people were continuously walking in and out his room. Not to mention, this Pepper woman had kept aware of his activities.

"Locke, you'll also be given a phone and a laptop. My number, Jarvis, and Tony's number, along with some others will already be programmed into it. Have you ever owned a laptop before?"

"No, I haven't." He hadn't had a phone before either, but he knew how they worked. They seemed surprisingly handy.

"Tony, you'll have to show Locke how to use the laptop and some of the basic programs like Word or Excel. He can learn everything else on his own."

Fantastic. I'm the world's greatest genius and I have to teach a bum how to use a PC. "Great idea, Pep" he replied sarcastically. "Do you also want me to explain how the coffee machine works?"

Loki sounded annoyed. "I feel insulted by the idea. I know perfectly well how they work. But I suspect that you have never even made a cup of coffee before without the aid of others. And yes, robots do count as others."

"I'll have you know that I make my own coffee and it is marvellous."

"I greatly look forward to having some of your coffee tomorrow morning then. I normally wake up around eight," Loki smirked. He'd never had coffee before but he relished the idea of Stark getting up early to serve coffee to his "assistant."

Tony narrowed his eyes. This guy was getting on his nerves. Despite the fact that he hated waking up before ten—no wait, make that noon—he said, "Then be ready for some magnificent coffee."

"Ok, enough bickering you two," Pepper said, cutting Tony off from further remarks. "Locke, you will learn how to use the laptop this week. The master agenda is on both the laptop and the phone. You need to make sure that Tony keeps to his appointments and schedule."

Loki nodded to Pepper. Learning something new should not prove difficult, especially when it had always come so easily to him.

"Tony, before you try to object, I've given Locke a credit card to use for any needed purchases be it groceries or necessities for your work. This also includes new clothing. I've already scheduled in a morning five days from now for this. Locke knows what is expected and I do not intend on seeing him go back to any of his old ways of dressing."

"I promise you will not see me anytime soon in my old clothes." Those rags were something he would never choose to wear voluntary. They had been a mere necessity. Although he would not mind getting his old armour back, he realized he would gain no favours by wearing it. Unfortunately, he would have to adjust to Midgardian clothing.

"Alright, I'll be going now. Locke, try to keep up with the schedule. I'll check in periodically. And if something really goes wrong, Jarvis will let me know."

Traitor, Tony thought.

"Tony? Please just try this time, all right?" And with that, Pepper left, leaving Tony and Locke alone. She knew the two of them would probably end up arguing or fighting during the next few days. With strong personalities like that, no aversions were possible. Locke especially surprised her with his little herbal tea stunt. She hadn't anticipated such a silly, unexpected prank from the man. He had even tricked Tony into getting up on time, a feat many had failed at before. Most previous assistants tried to sweet talk him into getting up early, a thing that never worked on Tony.

Loki suddenly noticed that he'd managed to eat the entire pizza alone. The first bite had been a little strange, but he'd quickly gotten used to the salty taste and grew fond of it. He ate the second piece out of hunger, but the rest was purely for pleasure, something he'd never indulged in before as a god.

Tony decided to break the uncomfortable silence that hung in the air after Pepper's departure. "You ate the whole thing. Were you starving or something?"

React normally. Loki closed the empty cardboard box. "I was hungry at first, but not starving. The hospital provided sufficient enough food."

"Good God, you react like a stiff. Please do yourself a favour and get that stick out your ass." Tony stood up from the sofa and stretched. "Let's forget about the tour. I'm sure you're smart enough to show yourself around."

And he dares to assume that I'm the bum? This is…what do they call it here…calling the kettle black. "Actually I would rather have you show me around as Miss Potts suggested. I think that would be the fastest and easiest way to familiarize myself with this new environment," Loki said, and then, unexpectedly, "And what is that thing playing in the background? I do not understand why the other lions cannot accept the rule of a strong leader."

Tony had completely forgotten about Jarvis playing The Lion King in the background. Locke had apparently been following it throughout their entire conversation. "He's the bad guy," Tony explained. "Bad guys never win, especially in Disney."

"Disney?" Loki queried. "And why not? I always understood that in the animal realm, the darker-haired male lions had a greater chance of mating."

"They are just lions! It doesn't even matter," Tony said with frustration. "You really have been hiding under a rock somewhere, haven't you?"

"It was a box," Loki answered, as if Tony was the most dim-witted person alive. "Stop suggesting absurd things. One cannot live under a rock, a cave perhaps."

"Gaaaah, stop it!" Tony was getting seriously irritated. "All right, I'll give you the tour, but after that, I'm off and you will leave me alone for the rest of the night."

Loki grinned. "Deal."

Tony felt a shiver go up his spine. The man looked normal enough, but he felt like Pepper had just made a deal with the devil.

"Guess you've seen the living room. If you want to watch TV or a movie, just ask Jarvis and he'll play it. Just don't let him decide for you or you'll get some kind of cartoon or chick flick."

"Sir, you asked for a good movie. You never specified a genre."

"You know well enough that I do not watch Disney, Jarvis! Or sobby tearjerkers."

Loki saw no point in asking what Disney or chick flicks were. Some human things eluded him completely. But he did understand that the A.I. had used Stark's words against him and deliberately chosen something the man did not fancy. He could appreciate this. They kept on walking to the kitchen he'd been in earlier.

"You've already been in here," Tony said. "Aside from the fridge and coffee machine, I don't use any of this. Read the manuals if you want to find out how shit works. They are around…" He pointed in the general direction of the kitchen." …here somewhere. Okay, now onto the next." Tony wanted to get this tour over with as fast as he could; he felt uncomfortable being around the other man. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something just seemed off. Maybe it was the combination of Tony's guilt for nearly killing him and Locke's superior intelligence for a hobo that managed to impress Pepper, which, in itself, was quite the feat. Pepper was not easily impressed by others. But all things considered, that still did not get rid of the unnerving feeling Tony had from being around him.

Loki could tell that Stark wanted to be rid of him with all due haste - the man felt noticeably uncomfortable in his presence. And he well should be. Although, something felt off; Stark's behaviour was different than the previous time they had crossed paths. Something had shifted in the man, gnawing on his natural confidence. But then again, the circumstances in which they had met before could not have been any more different. Back then, Loki had been clad in leather and armour and Stark a foolish knight on the frontline, trying to defy him with words instead of the usual array of weapons. Stark played his role well and Loki had enjoyed the attacking pace of their verbal war right up until he sent Stark flying through the windows.

The man in front of him was definitely different from the man he'd met before. It was only a slight difference, not nearly enough to be noticed by most. Loki refused to believe that his vehicular accident was to blame. It had to be something else. He suspected Pepper knew. She was rather startlingly observant for a human. Perhaps it was one of the reasons she had decided to put some distance between them?

Tony continued. "And my work area is this way. You can go upstairs, but you'll find yourself in front of closed doors." We will see about that, Loki thought as he inspected the stairs leading upwards.

"Down the hall are the guest rooms. I'm guessing the first one on the right is yours. So here ends this grand tour."

Loki knew Stark had skipped over several things. On the floor below them was a gym, a room that held some sort of communal bathing area, and a laundry room that he highly doubted Stark even knew existed. He decided he would just acquaint himself with the other rooms later. Right now, he was tired of spending time with the other man and looked forward to any time away from him.

"It goes without saying that my bedroom is also off limits. That's only reserved for gorgeous women," Tony declared. "Oh, but if you do find one wandering around in the morning, get rid of her. I hate it when one night stands try to linger."

Loki hoped that Stark had women waiting to either kill him or crush his balls for that attitude, just like Fandral, who displayed similar behaviour. How these men managed to avoid past partners was a mystery to Loki. So was the reason for bedding so many different women in the first place. "I would much rather that you take your nightly conquests elsewhere. I hate dealing with talkative women in the morning," Loki remarked.

Tony laughed. "Guess we actually do have something in common. Pep was right. 'Highness' suits you very well."

Stark knew his nickname! Bob must have used it in either Stark's or Pepper's presence. He didn't expect anyone outside of Bob to use it. "I would prefer it if you did not call me that."

"Can I call you princess then?" Tony asked with a small grin on his smug face.

"Absolutely not."

"Then Highness it is," Tony said, that stupid smile still on his face. "I'm off. See you tomorrow, Highness."

Good riddance. Loki was glad when Stark finally left for his own quarters. He hadn't shown it, but after consuming that entire pizza, he was hit with fatigue. Now he could finally go retire to his own room. He may have been declared healthy and released from the hospital, but his body was still recovering from the fever that had burned him out. It left him completely devoid of energy and the accident was just the drop that made it overflow. He could not control the yawn that escaped him. How human of me. Bringing his hand to his mouth, he paid no more heed to this thought.

The room was large for human standards. A king-sized bed covered with chocolate brown sheets stood dead in the centre. Its headboard rested against a wall that divided the room which had on open doorway on each side. The one in front of him and to the left side of the bed led to a dressing room. The room was exactly as Pepper had said, fairly empty except for some basic clothing to get him through the next several days. He discovered a pair of blue jeans, two simple shirts, and suitable undergarments in one of the drawers.

Behind the other door was his personal bathroom, which had large, black tiles on the floor and walls carved of natural stone. A semi-transparent glass wall divided the bathroom, hiding the large walk-in shower. Towels hung neatly on a rack alongside the wall. There was even a toothbrush for him to use at the washbasin. He'd always loved long showers, the feeling of hot water running all over his body and washing away the filth, but the bed kept calling out to him and his urge to rest was greater than his desire to bathe. He undressed quickly, leaving his clothes on a chair placed by the far wall. He pulled the covers back from his bed and slipped beneath them. The warmth enveloped him and the soft support the mattress provided made him drift off into his first truly peaceful sleep on Midgard.

A different tune was sung for Tony, who had been plagued with dreams ever since the Avengers had successfully defended the earth from invasion. For a good month, his sleep had been cut shorter than normal and he'd never slept well in the first place. The image that plagued his dreams sometimes crept up on him even when he was awake. In his sleep, he struggled and battled with the sheets only to suddenly wake from his dream.

Fuck. Tony thought as he bolted to the bathroom for an icy cold shower.

I want to thank every reader, follower and favoriter from the bottom of my heart. Never in a bazillion years had i hoped for this much response.

Reviewers i wish i was telepathic so i could mentally thank you from across the sea here, really you guys make my day.

Of course big thanks as always to my beta readers Sinister Banana and swordmisstress