Hawke entered the mansion with hopes of clearing the air between her and Fenris. After what happened in the Fade, he kept his distance, even avoiding their usual gatherings at the Hanged Man. Hoping to break the ice with a book she discovered, she walked up the stairs to the main room in which Fenris could usually be found.

"I have something for you," Hawke said as she settled into the chair across from him. She placed the book on the table and slid it toward him.

Fenris eyed the book with curiosity. He traced the title embedded in the leather cover with his fingertips. "A book?"

"Written by Shartan," Hawke informed him. "We've spoken about him before, remember?"

The warrior nodded, hand still hovering over the letters. "Hawke..."

She was apprehensive about giving him the gift in the first place; a book about a former slave may be too touchy a subject. The tone with which he said her name confirmed her fears. "You hate it," Hawke said, pulling the book out from under his grasp. "I'm sorry, I thought that maybe..."

"It's not that," Fenris insisted, knowing where her thoughts were headed. "In the Imperium, slaves are not permitted to read, or even learn how. Safer to pass along correspondence if your messenger doesn't know what he holds in his hands."

Hawke shook her head at the thought of him not being able to read. "All this time and you've never said anything?"

He shrugged. "It's never come up."

She had to laugh, and slid the book toward him again. "Well now's your chance," Hawke told him. "During the times that we are not killing something, or each other, you'll learn."

Hawke's comment about them killing each other reminded him they had not seen each other since Feynriel's death. "I've been thinking about what happened in the Fade," Fenris said. "That a demon could've played so easily on my fears... disturbs me."

Hawke knew Fenris carried guilt over what had happened, and it pained her heart to see him struggle with his choice when it wasn't his fault. "Fenris, the demon was using magic on your mind. It's as simple as that, really. Do not blame yourself for what happened, I don't blame you. I was more upset about having to fight you; that was the most unpleasant experience out of all of it."

Fenris nodded. "A strange sensation, not being in control of my actions, watching as we fought. Certainly not pleasant for me either, and yet you bested me at that too." He paused for a moment, trying to shake the image from his mind. "That demon did not manage to influence you, however. For all your talk of concern that you may slip, you prove yet again you are stronger than you realize."

Hawke stood and then sat beside him on the bench. "I am strong because of those I keep beside me Fenris, and that includes you."

Fenris turned to her. "I failed you Hawke. But I will not let that happen again."

"I know you won't," she said, and meant it. "Please also remember that I am here for you as well, always. If, or when, you decide to hunt down Danarius, know that you have friends now that will help you. You will never need the power some demon can give you if we are all together."

A small smile curled his lips. "Three years ago I would have doubted that statement. I am glad I decided to remain in Kirkwall."

Hawke couldn't help but laugh. "And befriended a mage too!" she said, playfully bumping into his shoulder with hers. "I am glad you stayed as well, and I promise no more trips to the Fade, at least not anytime soon."

Fenris smirked. "Thank the Maker for that." He studied her for a moment, and then said, "Hawke, you don't have any doubts about what happened to the boy, do you?"

She looked away, refusing to meet his gaze. "Doubts, regrets, I've had it all over the last few days. Tell me I did the right thing Fenris. I need to hear it."

"It was the right thing to do, and you know it because you made the decision. You don't need to hear it from me," he said.

Hawke turned to look at him, a pleading sadness in her eyes. "Who am I to decide the fate of a mage, or Dreamer? I'm an apostate myself Fenris."

"One who knows the dangers with which that entails," Fenris reminded her.

Dearest Father,

The visit with Fenris went well, I think. A few awkward moments but we ended the day by going over the first chapter of the book I gave him. I was embarrassed when he told me he couldn't read, felt like an idiot for not realizing it before, and here I go bringing him a book of all things. He isn't one to ask for help, or admit his flaws, and I'm sure in that moment he felt like less of a person because of my gift. I will change that for him Father. I will make sure, or at least try, to give him back everything Danarius stole from him, including his freedom.

My freedom however has been on my mind a lot recently. After Feynriel, it's hard not to think about. I want to ask Carver if he knows anything about why Meredith allows me to live as I do, but I don't want to put him in that position. I'd never ask him to take a side, mine or the Templars, but by asking him what he knows I'd be doing exactly that.

It's not an impossibility though, the answer I seek. There's always Cullen. Even though he and I haven't shared words since I visited Carver, maybe it's time to mend that bridge. He had kind words to say about Mother; and deep down I know he has a good soul. In all honesty, I have missed his friendship as well.

On the subject of missing someone, maybe I'll take Sebastian with me to the Gallows. He was such a support last time, and my avoiding him isn't working out as well as I planned. It's causing me misery, not seeing his smile, or the softness in his eyes. He may have no idea what he wants, but I know what I want, and this distance thing isn't working for me. I should probably tell him what happened with Feynriel too. I want to go to Sundermount, to see for myself what I've done. I think I need to, and I know I'll want Sebastian with me when I go.

I wonder if he's missed me too?