She had missed him. Hawke didn't realize how much until his blue eyes were shining back at her when she entered the Chantry. "Hello Sebastian," she said with a warm smile.
His face lit up when she walked through the doors, and now he stood nearly as giddy as a child. "Hawke! I was wondering when you'd stop by. I told myself I'd come find you by weeks end if you hadn't."
"Oh?" Hawke raised her brow. "And what would you have said?"
Sebastian grinned. "That I have missed your company of course. I half thought maybe you were avoiding me."
"Pft," she said dismissively, but then her impossible need to be honest crept into her heart. "Alright, maybe a little."
The immediate sadness in his expression pained her to see. "Have I done something that has offended you?" he asked sincerely.
Hawke shook her head. "No, nothing like that. I just thought maybe we needed some time apart, that maybe you need some time. I don't know. I also might have been doing some things you wouldn't approve of, or at least wouldn't want to be involved in."
"I see," Sebastian responded. "Dangerous things?" He carefully avoided her other reason, saving that discussion for a later time.
She shrugged. "If you're up for a trip to Sundermount, I can explain on the way. Just you, me, and Fenris, if that's okay."
"Of course," he nodded. "Let me get my bow and we'll be off."
Hawke watched as he retreated to the room he had in the Chantry. She couldn't help herself as she wandered to the memorial wall, and eyed the names that he had allowed her to add. It was still hard to believe her mother was gone, though some time had passed. She wondered if she'd ever get used to it.
"Hawke," Elthina's voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Grand Cleric," Hawke nodded when she reached the platform where Elthina stood. "It is good to see you again." The last time Hawke had seen Elthina was when Sebastian was begging for a chance to return to the Chantry. The time before that it was a fight about mages and Ser Alrik. But still, the woman was the Grand Cleric, and a friend to Sebastian, so Hawke offered her the respect she deserved.
Elthina smiled. "It is good to see you as well child. I had hoped to have a word."
Hawke took a deep breath. "I'm free now if you'd like to talk."
The Grand Cleric folded her hands on front of her. "I noticed a few more names on the memorial wall," she said, "and realized I have not had the opportunity to offer my condolences."
"Thank you, Your Grace," Hawke said.
"Did you know I dedicated your mother into the Chantry?" Elthina asked.
Hawke shook her head. "No, I wasn't aware."
"She was a beautiful baby," Elthina continued. "Your grandmother was normally a very proper lady, but she was beside herself that day. And Leandra, I'll never forget she nearly put her first in my eye, such a precious innocent." She moved closer to Hawke and lowered her voice. "We may not see eye to eye when it comes to Sebastian, or the mages in Kirkwall, or even the Qunari, whatever your stance may be. But I know you do good in this city, and have restored the Amell name among the nobles of Kirkwall. I have no doubt your mother would be proud."
Hawke was surprised to hear these words from the Grand Cleric, and she thanked her sincerely. "That's kind of you to say. I can only hope I continue to do so," she responded.
"The Maker asks for no more from us than trying our best," Elthina said, and she took a step away from Hawke when she heard Sebastian come down the stairs. "You two be safe out there," she added when Sebastian had joined them.
Hawke remained quiet as they exited the Chantry and made their way toward Fenris' mansion. When she reached for the door, Sebastian stopped her. "Is everything alright Hawke?" he asked. "Did the Grand Cleric say something to upset you?"
She offered Sebastian her best fake smile. "I'm fine," Hawke tried to assure him. "She was merely offering her sympathy."
Sebastian took her hand in his. "I am not blind to the sadness in your eyes Hawke," he said.
Hawke shrugged. "Just waiting for the part where it gets easier to talk about," she told him honestly. "And we have a busy day ahead, so no time to get into it now." She released his hand reluctantly and entered the mansion. Fenris was more than willing to join them, and so the three made their way to Sundermount.
Dearest Father,
I went to Sundermount today in search of Feynriel, to see what my actions had caused him to live with, and to see if I could find Arianni and apologize to her again. Although I suppose there isn't really a proper way to apologize for turning someone you love tranquil. I'm almost glad she wasn't there, because I don't know what I would've said to her.
When we arrived, Keeper Marethari informed us that Feynriel was no longer staying with them. His presence was a distraction to the Dalish, and more than a few complained that it was awkward having him around. I don't blame them, honestly. I was having a hard enough time bringing myself to see him. He willingly went to the Gallows, so it seemed that would be our next stop.
Before returning to Kirkwall, Marethari asked a favor of us, which I gladly offered our assistance. One of the Starkhaven mages had escaped the Gallows and was hiding on top the mountain. I was glad I brought Sebastian with me; I had hoped a few words from him would convince this mage to return. Innley was his name, though we didn't get to have much of a conversation before he began summoning things for us to kill.
Another blood mage. When we got the Gallows, we reported the news to Cullen, who informed us there were two more missing mages, also suspected of blood magic. Why is there such desperation here Father? Is it only a matter of time before Anders and I fall victim to the demons?
Cullen asked for our help in finding the other two mages, which we did rather easily. One was in Darktown and the other on the Coast, and we were able to confirm that both had resorted to blood magic to survive. Unfortunately they weren't any more willing to talk than Innley was, and we were forced to take their lives.
Three more mages, dead by my hands. I hate this Father, you have no idea how much I hate this.
I was denied my request to speak with Feynriel. They have him locked up tight in the Gallows for now, unsure of his tranquility given his special circumstances. Cullen did tell me that Arianni had visited him though, only once, and ran from the Gallows in hysterics. She hasn't been back since.
Fenris and I told Sebastian everything that happened in the Fade. I was surprised Fenris admitted his weakness, but I was touched by the way Sebastian responded - nothing but kindness, and he was insistent that Fenris forgive himself. Maybe Fenris will listen to Sebastian, because I know he's still feeling guilty and nothing I have said seems to change that.
After we walked Fenris back to the mansion, Sebastian commended me for resisting temptation in the Fade. Though he wasn't pleased to learn that I had agreed to do such a thing, he was thankful that we were all okay, and begged me not to do it again. I assured him I wouldn't, unless the situation was dire, and even then I would discuss it with him first.
Sebastian seemed reluctant to part company when we reached the steps to the Chantry. I was asked to make another promise - that I stop avoiding him and stop thinking that he needs space to work things through. Time, yes, he admitted to needing that. "But the more we are apart, the more my thoughts drift to you, so we might as well spend the time together," he said.
I think I can live with that.
"Anders?"
He was clearly upset as he stormed into her study waving a parchment at her. "Tell me this is a joke? Tell me that you aren't working for the Templars now."
Hawke had just returned from the Gallows not more than an hour ago. Could news have spread that fast that she had apprehended the apostates? "What are you going on about?" she asked cautiously.
Anders handed her the crumbled paper he had been holding. There was a tear at the top, as if pulled from the Chanter's board perhaps? As she read, Hawke felt the color drain from her face. No, this was not how she wanted to be known in Kirkwall.
On behalf of Knight-Commander Meredith,
the Kirkwall Templar Order offers a gold bounty
for the death or capture of several notorious apostates
who have escaped the Gallows.
Follow the example of Serah Hawke,
who valiantly apprehended many Starkhaven apostates in years past,
thereby making the realm safer.
The notice continued, listing the three mages that Hawke had just killed. She folded the parchment and placed it on the table, gesturing for Anders to have a seat beside her.
"Tell me it isn't true," he begged again.
But Hawke couldn't lie to him. "Anders," she began. "Did you free these mages?"
"Of course I did," Anders admitted without hesitation. "You let Karras live, and now every mage sent to the Gallows falls victim to his control."
"They were all blood mages Anders," Hawke informed him. "No, I am not working for Meredith or the Templars. I went to Sundermount today and the Keeper told me one of these mages was hiding there. Sebastian and I went to try and talk to him peacefully, but he attacked instead."
Anders huffed. "Sebastian, huh?"
Hawke narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes, Sebastian. Why? What does he have to do with it?"
"Chantry, Templars, they are all the same," Anders said as he stood, kicking his chair back. "You're a mage! I don't understand, whose side are you on?"
She shut her eyes, burying her face in her hands. "Anders," she whispered, but she knew he was already at the front door. Candles rattled against their sconces when he slammed the door.
A few moments later, Bodahn stood hesitantly in the doorway. "Messere? Everything alright?"
"It's fine Bodahn," Hawke assured him with a smile. "Thank you."
The dwarf bowed before leaving her alone to her thoughts.