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Chapter 36 – My Battlefield

Tori's POV.

The day after our experience at the FBI headquarters, I had work and Jade didn't. Upon coming home I found Jade watching The TV. Without looking she pointed to a copy of the newspaper sitting on the arm of the couch. We didn't get the paper, so its presence her was unusual.

"Vega, check out the paper."

I picked up the paper and on the front page, four of the headlines had been circled.

1) An FBI raid on a religious cult that netted a huge hall of illegal military weapons and the arrest of its head.

2) A garbage man in Atlantic City had been arrested in connected with a number of recent stranglings.

3) Ace Records, the record company of now deceased and disgraced record producer Ace Decade, was expected to file for bankruptcy as a result of a massive scandal involving the skimming of the royalties of its artists.

4) A Dental technician named Kristin Wesisenberg has been arrested and confessed to the murder of Justice Department employee Chelsea McNamara.

I was blown away; as it dawned on me that Jade and I were responsible for each of those headlines.

"My God Jade, this is all us."

Jade laughed, yet her eyes remained on the South Korean horror film that was playing. "No it wasn't. Do you see our names anywhere on that page? The closest we come is the information for the cult raid came from unnamed sources. We're the unnamed sources."

Disappointed I saw down next to Jade. "That stinks!"

It was then Jade looked to me with a half-smile. "Actually, no. I was mad at first when I got the paper this morning, but after writing about it in my journal I realized, it was actually a blessing."

I wasn't sure what Jade was driving at. "How?"

"We're free Tori. You're free of Ace Decade and his corrupt record company, Cat is back, the cult is gone and actually helped put some other bad buys behind bars. We did do it; we helped some people out and stopped some bad guys. But there's no notoriety, no press, no requests for statements or interviews, no one wanting our story, we remain 2 nobodies. We can do what we want. We can still be famous of course, but on our terms and we won't be connected to any of this ugliness."

"That's actually a very optimistic way of looking at it. I'm…"

"Surprised. We'll maybe a bit of you has brushed off on me."

It was a nice thought and I liked that Jade was thinking that way, but one thing worried me. "Are you free of Beck?"

Jade scrunched her face for a moment. "No. Some things just stay with you, become part of you. I was reading a book about post-traumatic stress disorder, which I am dealing with. I read about a British WWI solider who was one of the very last ones left, he died 5-10 years ago maybe. This was 18 when we on the battlefield and he was having flashbacks into his 90's. That battlefield stayed with him long after the guns went silent. When I first started, I really thought I could put this totally behind me, erase him from my life."

Jade paused for a moment and just put her hand on mine. "I know I can't. Like that solider, my battlefield will remain a part of me. Its piece of you that's alien and unwanted, but you can't get rid of it. So that leaves you two choices. First you can let it destroy you, or your relationships or your life. The second choice is to learn to live with that part of you. I think by learning to live with it, accept it, you take away most, but not all its power."

Someday I wanted to make her pain go away so badly. "I wish you could be totally free of it. If there was anything I could do….you know I would."

Letting some emotion creep into her voice, Jade looked me in the eye. "Tori you've gone above and beyond pulling me from the hole that I was in. Yes I know you made mistakes and let your feelings interfere with your judgment. I made mistakes too and that simply means were both human. So don't beat yourself up over it. But when it comes down to it, you saved me. Thank you."

It was a very tender moment and I sensed that Jade was really putting forth effort to be so open and honest with me. She was really trying and that showed me her commitment to bringing us back together.

"Jade, you're very special."

"You know we're not even dating yet and a lot of days I simply don't feel like I deserve you."

That I didn't want to hear at all, so I took both my hands and placed them on either side of her face so she was looking directly at me.

"Jade, NEVER say that! It's not about who deserves who Jade, It's who wants to be with who and I want to be with you. I'm not going to bother to list off the things that I think make you special, just know that I want to be with you. Got it!"

Jade smiled again. "Got it."

I let go of her and stood up. "Have faith in us Jade. Have faith and we will be together."

I had taken 3 steps when Jade announced. "I got a call from the FBI today."

I stopped and turned. "What for?"

"Someone was impressed with my work and I was offered an internship."

"My God, that's great, are you taking it?'

"Like this thing with being free, I gave it a lot of thought today and decided against it. I had some fun and probably got really lucky. I happened to spot a few things they didn't. It could be a fun job and challenging Job, but I'm just not sure of that. That would require a drastic change to my career plans and unless I'm 100% sure I'm just not sure it's a good thing. I know 100% I love acting and writing and that's something I want to do. I would have to follow all these rules too and I'm more of a, me person and not much of a we person. I suspect there'd be problems down the road cause of that."

Her reasoning was sound and though I thought it would be great for Jade, I accepted her choice. "You appear to have thought that out. It's understandable."

"That and it's unpaid, plus most of the duties would be lowly file shuffling, running errands and making coffee. If I'm doing lowly grunt work, they'll pay me, so fuck that!"

Over the next couple of weeks, the dust finally settled on the whole Cult thing. Reverend Mike or Grant Meeks was charged with a whole boatload of charges including fraud, armed robbery and weapons charges. If convicted on all charges, he'll get about 550 years in prison. His followers were given counseling and slowly adjusted back to reality.

Cat decided to stay in New York and attend college here part time at NYU. She with our help, moved out of her Boston apartment and moved in with a girl named Emma, who's a friend of Barbie's. Emma works the computer help desk of some insurance firm and is rather nice.

Barbie even helped Cat get a job at the health club she works at during the daytime. The owner set up a new childrens' area, so people who want to work out can bring in their children and have them supervised while they work out. Cat watches the children during the daytime. Cat who's been through a lot with the cult said she really looked forward to working with children.

Speaking of Barbie and Cat, the pair who are now best friends, spend tons of time together. Barbie has even hinted that they've become even closer and she's helping Cat explore some new sides of herself. Time will tell.

Jade in these few weeks has actually been rather silent. Not silent as in an anti-social way, but more of an introspective way. She's been writing a lot in her journal, working out and attending therapy. I've been sitting with her at night watching TV, we make dinner together and I can tell she enjoys being with me, she's just not been very talkative lately. But through the silence, we've grown more and more comfortable with each other. It's as if the words aren't really needed. We were free of a lot of things and it did seem to clear the air.

Though in the last week, that's begun to change. It's November now and it is getting colder, but she's been inviting me to talk walks with her nearly every night. I've also noticed when we watch TV together she's been inching ever closer to me. She's been doing more things for me, like having dinner ready when I get home a few days, doing my chores, etc.

I've begun to strongly get the feeling that she's ready to move on to dating or at least wants to. I really want to start dating her too. She's been working really hard on herself and I've felt maybe it's time too. It's like an energy that's been building between us. Let's see how Jade plays it.

It was a Thursday night, and I had come home to find Jade coming from work out of the bathroom.

She stopped and smiled. "Do you notice anything?"

Much to my pleasant surprise, I did. "You're hair you changed it from black to your natural brown and you've added streaks of pink and blue."

She has had solid black hair for a long time and this is a refreshing change.

Looking just a bit nervous she walked up to me. "Do you like it?"

I couldn't help but smile. "It's beautiful. It's like how you used to wear it when we first met."

"I know, you said once you preferred my hair that way. I changed my hair for you."

"Jade you didn't have to do that?"

Jade shrugged and examined the a strand of hair from the pink streak. "I wanted a change and I knew it would please you."

I could see it in her eyes, she really wanted to move on. Honestly I wasn't sure if she was ready but at that moment I didn't care. Feeling the moment as seemed to build I took her hands.

"You did and you've been trying to please me a lot lately. Some of those gesture were sort of romantic." I said with a sly grin.

Jade nodded to the left, "Like that."

I looked to what Jade was motioning too. It was dozen roses in a vase on an end table.

"Like you they're beautiful."

"Vega, I prefer to call you Vega. I hope I'm not setting myself up, but I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me tonight. I have dinner reservations at 7:00 at a nice place nearby. Before you answer, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I'll tell you that I'm still not fully ready to live with my battlefield and it may be a while before I fully can, but I do feel like I'm ready to be with you. It's the only thing I want. Sorry if I'm not making much sense, but regardless, would you like to go out with me."

It was only then did I realize how nervous she actually was. Though I was holding her hands, she was trembling. I knew she was terrified, I say no or we'd have to wait longer. I think I was scared too. Perhaps I put off us starting to date because at least partially I was afraid.

Regardless, saying no never crossed my mind. Not for an instant. Jade was Jade and I wanted to be with her. I wasn't perfect either and she wanted to be with me.

With twinkle in my eye, I said. "Jade, I'd love too."

You folks have been nice and very patient, so on to the Jori. I can't guarantee it will be smooth sailing but Tori and Jade have officially started to date.