disclaimer:i i do not own marvel

(but i have a lovely pair of coconuts)

Chapter 19

Would life ever be remotely peaceful or even halfway normal for Tony Stark? Was trouble ever going to cease in its attempts to just casually fuck with his life when everything finally seemed okay? Tony always guessed that if there were such a thing as fate, karma, or destiny, it would probably take the form of a scorned ex-lover who was hell-bent on getting her sweet revenge. If an incalculable force like that was real, then perhaps it could offer an explanation for this insane situation: Tony lay in a bed that was not his own, awake after a few hours of unsettled, dreamless sleep. The great Tony Stark had been reduced to being the little spoon. A warm, heavy arm hugged his waist and another man's head nestled in the crook of his neck in deep slumber.

And a low, soft rumble betrayed that, yes, gods did, in fact, snore. Fate was a crazy bitch with a cackling laugh that would put any super-villain to shame. But the sleeping man didn't look like the crazy, brooding diva that the god of mischief and lies was.

Is?

Used to be?

Locke—or rather, Loki—acted like any antisocial, stoic asshole who was severely sick and wounded. In one heated flare of anger, Loki had tried to strangle him while still in the hospital, but exhaustion and fever had quickly rid the man of any strength. The once-powerful god was now nothing more than an injured and angry human. Tony couldn't even find it within himself to hold the ex-god accountable for his actions at the hospital. Hell, if the same situation happened to him, Tony probably would've responded in the same fashion.

So far, the worst thing done by the ex-god was switching Tony's coffee with the horrendous green herbal tea—a dreadful, distasteful poison for Tony and any other self-respecting person. Loki had also hidden the truth about himself by gathering an alias and altering his looks, but that was also to be expected. He was, without a doubt, still handsome; certainly alluring enough to catch Tony's eye.

The man was lies and mischief. Nothing more.

Still… could he count on him to remain healthy and sane? What were the odds that he'd go batshit crazy in the near future? Tony bet his fortune that Loki, even without the aid of his godly magic, was a force to be reckoned with and capable of much more than a simple herbal tea switch. But Tony was still alive, very much so judging by the sting of pain he felt in his backside, and that was something to be said. Loki had the chance to rip out the power source keeping him alive last night. Hell, Loki had been presented plenty of opportunities to destroy him since coming to live at Stark Tower. The ex-god could've poisoned that well-grilled steak he'd cooked him the other night for all he knew.

A clear picture sprang to Tony's mind, caused by his incessant, running imagination. It had been Loki cooking dinner for him - his former madness-filled enemy wearing an apron and doing something extremely domestic. When Locke had those half-formed smiles on his face caused by one of Tony's remarks, the engineer had thought it a beautiful, perhaps even adorable, expression. And it had been Loki all along.

Shit. Fucking adorable, smiling bastard crawling under my skin. Tony still wanted to see that face wearing a full and bright smile; one free of insanity.

Next to him, Loki stirred and his slow, soft snore stopped. He took a deep breath in and out, the air brushing the skin of Tony's neck, giving him goose-bumps wherever it touched. Loki turned again, snuggling into the warmth of Tony's body. Another one of the engineer's unasked questions suddenly received an answer. It appeared that gods also suffered morning wood.

Slowly, Loki started to awaken from a good night's sleep. He wanted nothing more than to stay in his dream-like state, enveloped in the comforting warmth and softness of his bedding. He felt well-rested and at ease against the warm human body beside him and he instinctively reached out for it.

Wait. There was a person next to him. In his bed. Sleeping under the same covers!

Groggily, he opened his eyes. Sleep still clouded his vision, but Loki could only think of one person who had the audacity to enter his quarters. "Stark, what are you doing? Moreover, why are you in my bed?" A hint of red crossed his face as Loki realised the position and their current state of undress.

Tony wondered what one should say to a moody ex-god after unexpectedly being found in his bed. "What do you remember from last night?" Better to play it safe and not call out any of the man's names. Who knew what Loki remembered from the previous night? Tony saw a deep frown playing on the liesmith's face. The ex-god rolled over to the other side of the bed, putting some distance between them. Tony frowned at the loss of warmth. "Need a hint there, Highness?" Tony asked, treading into possibly dangerous foreign waters.

Loki rose and sat on the edge of the bed, naked as a newborn babe. The smell of sweat and sex clung heavily in the surrounding air telling him all he needed to know. No wonder he felt so rested and relaxed, even his mood seemed lighter than normal. The events of the previous night came flooding back to him, filling his mind with memories and images of their primal struggle. He could not, unfortunately, remember walking to his room with or without the brown-haired engineer. "How did I end up here?"

"I dragged your half-sleeping ass here. And I do have a name. Remember using it?"

Much to his shame, he did remember calling out that name. This certainly presented a new level of awkward. "How did you end up here…Anthony?"

"You decided that I should become your little spoon," Tony remarked with a slight smirk.

Loki turned his head, a recognisable glare on his face. "I don't see what spoons have to do with this." He retorted, not linking their sleeping position to Tony's comment.

The mischief maker did not remember their small but revealing chat. Tony didn't know if this was a blessing or a curse, but he sincerely hoped for the former. He took a risk and answered the question as if it had been Locke asking. "You like to cuddle and you claimed me as your personal human pillow and stove. I couldn't get out of your death grip even if I wanted." Loki's glare faded, making way for embarrassment. Sometimes taking risks paid off. "Oh, and you snore."

Loki ignored any further ramblings coming from Stark's mouth. Instead, he got out of bed, firmly telling himself that Stark's words were a lie and he did not snore. Or cuddle. He didn't even like to be held or to hold another person. Those actions were nothing but useless sentiment. "I am going to the bathroom and then to clean myself. It is not a suggestion when I tell you to do the same. You simply reek vile." That last part was a lie. Deep down, he enjoyed smelling his own scent on Stark.

At least the 'non-suggestion' was a good one. Loki had a point that both of them smelled horrible. Tony figured he could use a shower, though not only to wash away the smell. He was sticky and sore all over. Carefully, he rose from the bed and a shot of hot pain stung him with every movement. He definitely needed painkillers. Still, he had suffered much worse pain from injuries received while on-duty as Iron Man, though none of them were quite like this. Before he exited Loki's bedroom, the man's voice called out from the bathroom.

"And don't forget to make my coffee!"

Tony rolled his eyes. As if he would ever forget to make his assistant's coffee.

Steve Rogers showed up early, if one could call eleven in the morning early. In the soldier's mind, that was considered late. Tony knew from previous experience that his friend had a habit of getting up extremely early. The broad-shouldered hero had once shown up at half past six on his doorstep feeling guilty for things he'd said earlier on the helicarrier. Really, the engineer didn't even care about that anymore, but the blonde soldier insisted he make up for it. Ever since that day, Steve had shown up now and then in the mornings. Tony let him come and go, but only under the condition that he never arrived at half-past six again.

Steve was there, holding a large duffel bag over his shoulder and trying to not get in the way of the few hired workers moving furniture. "Really, Tony, I can help."

"Relax, Steve. Sit down and have a drink. Life isn't all about work, even for people like you," said Tony, all but sinking into the large couch in the middle of the living room. Tony had decided that today should be all about comfort. He was so sore he couldn't even work in the lab, let alone on his current project. That really got on his nerves; he was only mere hours away from its completion.

Steve raised a finger to argue.

"No 'buts,' Steve." Because there would be a lot of 'buts' by the Captain if there was work to be done. No matter how small and insignificant the job, Soldier Boy wanted to aid. Tony thought it was something Steve really needed to stop doing. "Why don't you give it a rest and get the rest of your stuff from that dark shed you call an apartment."

"It served its purpose," stated the blonde man. He received a doubtful look from Tony that clearly said, 'Really? Are you serious?' Steve shrugged and admitted, "Okay, I felt like a canned sardine in there. Happy now? And this…" He grabbed the heavy bundle he carried on his shoulder and put it down on the ground as if it were as light as a feather. "…is all my stuff."

"No way that's all your stuff. Where's your secret stash of porn, Cap?" goaded the brown-haired genius, a smirk on his face as he lifted his coffee mug.

"I do not have pornography, Tony Stark. We're not all like you," answered Steve, slightly bit proud of himself for not stumbling over his words or turning tomato-red.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. You know how to use the internet." Tony gave his friend a lewd wink. "Good for you, Cap."

"Shouldn't you be working? Tinkering away on some kind of mechanical thing in your lab?" The blonde tried to redirect the conversation and steer it away from the current subject.

"I'm giving myself a well-deserved break," Tony said with a bright smile.

"You're lying. Whatever you were cooking up in your work space had you absorbed for days. It doesn't make sense for you to just lie around here," Steve retorted, making the casual remark based on Tony's normal habits and quirks. He suddenly eyed his friend in worry and suspicion. "You're not hurt, are you?"

Shit, I bet he wants an answer, too. How could he respond to that? He definitely was "hurting," there was no denying that. So what the hell did he say to his friend? From the corner of his eye, he saw Loki enter the room, carrying some files and heading in their direction. "I ummm…"

Steve followed Tony's eyes and noticed his assistant standing a few feet away. Perhaps Locke would answer his question. "Good morning, Locke," Steve greeted, a smile on his face even though it did little to hide his worry. He pointed toward the reluctant man sitting on the sofa. "Has he hurt himself again? It's unusual for him to not be working in the lab."

Loki stopped dead in his tracks, mimicking the distressed look that Steve carried.

This can't be good, Tony thought to himself. Whatever response Loki was deciding to conjure up for the American hero could possibly ruin him. The man's current bothered look was completely deceptive. Tony had seen those eyes enough in his dreams and in the past two weeks to recognise the mischievous glint hidden in the blue orbs.

"He…" Loki paused, mostly for dramatic effect, Tony was sure. Steve and Tony both stared at the man, waiting for the rest. The former had nothing but the curious look of a friend, but the latter looked on with vague horror. Not a muscle twitched out of place on Loki's face as he continued, "He has hemorrhoids."

What the hell? Really?

"Oh, that's not too terrible," retorted Steve. "It's almost expected with the way you eat junk food." He gave Tony a disappointed look while using his Captain America patented Voice of Reason. "You don't live healthy."

"Hey, I'm alive aren't I? We can't all be health freaks or goody-two-shoes." Hemorrhoids? That was his reply? What was he thinking? Tony had expected something greater and more grandiose from Loki, something that would've further fucked-up his chaotic life. Er…not that he liked his imaginary hemorrhoids. Oh hell no.

Loki sighed deeply as if also troubled by Tony's non-existent issue. "I've been trying to make him eat better, but Anthony doesn't listen. Eating healthier now and then would solve his problem."

Oh no… that sneaky...

Steve smiled brightly at the words. "You're absolutely right, Locke. That's a great idea."

"Hey! Don't I get a say in this?" Tony injected, trying to save any rights he had to pizza, shawarma, and breakfast doughnuts.

"No," answered Steve and Loki simultaneously, the former in the Voice of Reason, truly convinced he was helping a friend, and the second with a well-known, amused grin on his face. Well, at least the ex-god was having fun.

Shit, I knew I was doomed the minute I woke up. This is the first day of the end of my life. Damn, cute, conniving bastard.

In the end, the two left Tony sitting alone on the sofa in his spacious living room, looking severely pissed off. They both carried on to their respective jobs, which in Steve's case, was helping to move furniture. The brown-haired engineer found himself alone again, burdened with all of his unspoken thought and troubles. After all, it wasn't every day you found out you lived with a once-Norse god and a well-known being that caused havoc and ruin wherever he set his sights. Not to mention, those gorgeous eyes had been looking at him the entire time these past several weeks.

During the remaining hours of the day, a variety of options surged through Tony's mind. Some of them were not worth contemplating or considering for more than a second, but still, Tony had to make sure he'd covered all routes possible. The most obvious and probably "right" thing to do in this situation was to reveal Loki and hand him over to S.H.I.E.L.D. At the very least, he should share his new-found knowledge with the rest of the team. However, god or no god, the other Avengers would never allow Loki see the light of day again for as long as he lived. And who knew what would happen if he was taken to S.H.I.E.L.D.? Tony had no desire to find that out.

Finding Thor and confronting him about Loki seem a poor option, too. The bulky Asgardian hadn't let any of them know that his adopted sibling had been cast out to Earth. He'd lead them to believe that Loki was dead, though technically he'd never voiced this aloud. Truthfully, Thor had only told them that the mischievous god was gone and sentenced to death. But Loki was still very much alive. Okay, so now he was a powerless human just like the rest of them, bound to spend his last years on Earth. It was a breath of life compared to the eons he could've had as a god. No wonder his assistant always seemed pissed off.

My assistant, Tony repeated in his head while running hands through his chocolate-brown locks. Maybe he should do nothing at all and pretend he'd misheard those softly spoken words uttered by a tired man? Could he really let go of the one individual who made his heart race like there was no tomorrow?

Jarvis interrupted his train of thought by announcing that dinner was almost finished. Tony was definitely not looking forward to seeing whatever kind of slimy, green, and ultimately healthy thing that Loki had cooked up for him. Slowly, he made his way toward the dining area and noted that three people were now present. Bruce had somehow managed to make his way to the Tower just in time for dinner.

"So this is your fearsome assistant from hell," Bruce commented, passing a green, vegetable-filled plate of food to the engineer.

Tony scowled at the plate, eyeing the greens with obvious distaste. "Salad. My favourite."

"I'm surprised you're even eating it," Bruce said, observing Tony eat the leaves of lettuce with great reluctance.

"Trust me when I say that the other outcome would've been much worse. As I said earlier, he might be spawned from hell," muttered Tony.

"Contrary to popular belief, vegetables are not your worst enemy. And according to what you said earlier, your assistant is actually good help." Bruce was enjoying the meal. Normally, he never got to eat something home-cooked and this was a very decent meal, which earned more plus-points for Tony's blonde assistant. So far, the only downside was the man's complete avoidance of the new scientist. Truthfully, Bruce couldn't fault him for that. Locke was probably aware of what lay underneath his calm exterior. "I think he's okay."

You wouldn't if you really knew him, Tony thought. Yet out of all of them, Bruce might actually be able to understand a portion of this freakishly strange mess. He pointed a lettuce adorned fork at his fellow scientist. "Traitor," retorted the brown-haired engineer. "Each and every one of you." His eyes travelled toward his ex-god assistant who was leaning against the kitchen counter, eating the remainders of the salad straight out of the serving bowl. There wasn't even a hint of the crazies in those handsome blue eyes.

Goddammit, why did it have to be me? Tony couldn't do anything; he knew that now. The questions he'd been asking all day could only be answered by an emphatic 'No.' Tony was definitely not going to let go of the man he desired. But why does it have to be Loki?

After dinner, Tony finally made it to his upstairs laboratory, an environment that made him feel instantly calmer, even if he was bothered by millions of ideas or questions. Jarvis had also kept the truth about Loki hidden without asking. There was a certain understanding between Tony and the A.I. The robots, inanimate life forms, and the like were generally less judgemental than humans. Unless a real emergency arose, Jarvis would keep quiet about this.

The engineer had no will or energy left to deal with his assistant ex-god today. How could he even look at the man now when he knew who he was and what he did? Just the prospect of caring for another person scared him shitless. It only made matters worse finding out the truth about who he actually liked. What if he let Loki's name slip in the midst of heated touches and strokes? Granted, that was if they could share in that delicious, heated passion again, something that Tony sincerely hoped was possible. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Dear God, soon his Tower would be filled with Avengers. How did everything turn out like this? Was it even wise to let the tall, lean man stay here? What would happen when "Locke" and Thor came face to face in the very near future?

The swish of one of his reinforced, transparent doors announced that Bruce had finally found his way upstairs. "Hey there, green, mean, fighting machine." The short engineer welcomed him in a tone that suggested he didn't have a care in the world.

"Something's bothering you." Bruce was a very observant person. As a child and teenager, he had always watched from the side lines. As an adult, he… well, he used to be more outgoing before the incident. After his intense exposure to gamma radation, he'd perfected his observation techniques as a means to his own survival.

"You saw. I was forced to eat salad. Of course something is bothering me."

"No, whatever's bugging you has been going on much longer, way before being force-fed those raw greens. Steve told me about your 'problem.'" Bruce observed Tony carefully from his spot in the doorway. The engineer looked busily at the surrounding screens, but he lacked the regular, fierce, intelligent and truly focused look on his face. Whatever was troubling him wasn't caused by science or his supposed illness. The gamma scientist had been living in some strange, foreign lands for the past several years and had experienced some odd cultures, but human behaviours never changed.

Tony shrugged. "Nothing I didn't complain about already. I just wanted a day of peace and rest. But no, Locke had to meddle with that too."

Tony's vain complaints, remarks, and annoyed glances all directed to Locke made sense. Bruce decided he might as well spit it out now rather than let his friend keep up this charade. "Tony, nothing's wrong with you."

"Of course nothing's wrong with me! Locke's being a pain in the ass!"

Much to Tony's surprise, the normally shy scientist chuckled. "Exactly my point," Bruce said, throwing a knowing look in the other man's direction.

big thanks to swordmisstress andsinister banana for being the beta for this chapter.

big thanks to you readers for still holding out with me.

Feel free to leave a review, brain-snacks omnomnom.