Author's Note: In Act 2, the Friendly Concern quest is Varric's, where he discusses his thoughts on whatever relationship Hawke is in after he/she consummates said relationship - obviously this does not trigger for Sebastian since he's playing hard to get. I decided to add the quest anyway, but give it to someone other than Varric. So while this isn't a "do what I want" chapter like I've been doing for every tenth, I'm doing it anyway.

Dearest Father,

I went to see Anders today. Perhaps it was foolish of me to see him alone, knowing that he still has feelings for me, but I doubted he'd want me to share this gift exchange with anyone else present. When we were going after Hadriana for Fenris, I found a Tevinter Chantry amulet, and had always intended on giving it to Anders. As usual, time got away from me, and only today did I have an opportunity to present it to him.

At first he was upset with me for the gift, claiming that I wanted him to get executed by giving him the item. I am well aware of the differences between the Imperial Chantry and our own under the Divine of the Chantry of Andraste, but maybe he didn't know that. He began telling me how it was sacrilege to wear such a thing in these lands, but I assured him my reason for giving him the amulet was not to get him killed.

Though I don't agree with those who may follow the "Black Divine" as they do in Tevinter, I always wondered what life would be like if mages were allowed to freely use their gifts in public without fear of Templars. There, magic is a gift, mages are respected and accepted. Imagine living that kind of life Father, never having to hide who you are? Though I've seen how it can unravel quickly, and Fenris has told many a tale about how the true rulers of the area are blood mages, but still the idea of being allowed to be yourself is still a nice dream to have.

That was my thought behind the gift, and I told Anders so. I know it is his dream as well, to never have to fear the templars or return to the Circle. I meant for it to be a symbol of that freedom, that dream, that I know both he and Justice have. He questioned me whether it was my dream or not as well. I told him of course it was, a nice fantasy to have, but I have to be realistic and remember that a change like that won't happen in my lifetime.

I thought maybe he was going to say something else on the matter, as it appeared he was struggling with himself, or maybe Justice, to continue the conversation. When I asked him what was on his mind, he took a step back, and then told me there was something he wished to discuss with me, but it wasn't about mages and their freedom.

It was about Sebastian.

"A few of us have been talking," Anders began. "Trying to figure out which one of us would address this with you."

"Uhoh," Hawke said with a smile. "What is it I've done now? If more than one of you are involved, it can't be good."

Anders paced the clinic for a moment before continuing. "We are all aware of your…choice in companionship, shall we say."

"You mean Sebastian," Hawke said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Yes," Anders acknowledged. "And while none of us feel it is our place to question your decision, there is concern about what the future holds for you."

The smile faded quickly from her face. "Do tell, what exactly does the future hold for me? I'm curious to know myself. And who all has been having these discussions?"

"All of us, I think," Anders admitted. "Though it's not like there was a big meeting about it. I may have said something to Isabela, as did Merrill, who talked to Varric, who heard from Fenris as well as Aveline, who spoke with Carver…"

"Carver?" Hawke interrupted. "I haven't been able to see my brother for five minutes, but he's had the time to discuss my 'choice of companionship' as you put it, with Aveline? This is too much, really. Have you all nothing better to do?"

Anders approached her. "We are concerned," he said again. "You are traveling down a road that can only end in heartache, and none of us who care for you wish to see that happen."

"I appreciate the concern," Hawke told him. "But I can assure you, and wish for you to tell the others, that I am fine. I am well aware of the...difficulties I will face in the future, but it is my future to face. In truth, I have no idea what is happening with Sebastian and I. He needs to figure out what he wants first."

"And while he takes the time to figure that out, what about you?" Anders asked. "You've put your life on hold, waiting and hoping, for something that may never be."

Hawke dropped her arms in front of her and stared into her hands to avoid his gaze. "Isn't that what you do when you care for someone?" she asked quietly, hoping it wasn't too painful a question, knowing how he felt about her. "You wait, and hope, even if you know it may never be?"

He closed the distance between them. "I can not understand why you torment yourself like this. With him, you deny yourself a warm hand," Anders said, taking her hand in his. With the other, he gently caressed her cheek. "A loving touch. The assurance that your partner knows and appreciates what he has." Remembering himself, he withdrew and took a step back. "Is that not important to you?"

Hawke felt her cheeks flush from his touch, and didn't want to admit that the absence of his hand also had an effect on her. "Everyone is different Anders," she tried justifying her feelings. "If it were you, yes, I would expect the warmth of your touch as a sign of affection. If it had been Fenris, I know his over-protective nature toward me would be how he'd show he cared. Sebastian does so in his own way as well. You may not recognize it because it's not how you would do things, but it's there."

"You have known love before," Anders reminded her. "You told me you were engaged once, and I'm sure that engagement came with more than someone opening a door for you, or assisting you in killing bandits on the Wounded Coast. How can you stand here and say you do not miss the affection, the feel of someone's arms around you in a loving embrace? He can't even admit there is something there! It's clear you want there to be, but it is also clear that the Chantry is his love, not you."

A small sigh escaped her. "I never said I didn't miss it," Hawke whispered. "But regardless of where his heart is, mine is with him. I can't change that Anders, no matter how much you wish it."

"This isn't about me," Anders insisted.

"Isn't it?" Hawke asked. "You tell me these things that I am doing wrong, but is it not exactly what you have been doing? It's the topic that everyone knows but no one talks about, how you quietly waste away in this clinic pining for me. I wish things were different, I wish I could take away that pain for you, but I can't help how I feel and who I feel it for anymore than you can."

The embarrassed expression on his face tore at her heart, but Hawke knew this was a conversation that was long overdue. When he didn't respond, she continued. "You are one of my closest friends Anders, very dear to my heart. But everything you have just said to me I could say the same to you. Can you give up loving me as easily as you are asking me to give up loving him?"

"What about when he turns one of us over to the Templars?" Anders asked, deflecting from her statement. "Or you? Will you still love him then? Your money and position might not be enough to save you, and Merrill and I would be as good as dead, or worse, made tranquil!"

Hawke shook her head. "Sebastian would never do that. He has been a friend to all of us, to you. Did you forget he came with us and helped take Alrik down? He even stood beside us when we confronted Elthina on Alrik's plan!" She took a moment to calm her rising anger, reminding herself that his questions stemmed from jealousy more than his belief in them. "He would never do that," she repeated softly.

"Your heart truly has made you blind," Anders said. "For your sake, for all of our sakes, I hope you are right." He turned from her and returned to his desk. "Thank you again, for the gift," he said dismissively.

Hawke left the clinic without another word, Anders' words weighing heavily on her mind. She felt she knew Sebastian, was sure in her heart that he would never betray her or her friends. But his love for the Chantry was strong, Anders was right about that. If a decision had to be made, Hawke wasn't so sure if she'd win against Sebastian's loyalty to the Chantry, or the Maker.

As for Anders, she wondered if their friendship could remain the same after this.