3. A Long Way Down
In which Hatter sees something worth saving.
Outside the Tea Shop's back door was a ladder down to a narrow ledge far from any well-used path. When he reached the bottom of the ladder, Hatter turned and lifted Alice the last few feet down to the ground.
She looked up at him, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders, and suddenly Hatter was seized with an almost overpowering desire to kiss her. He could imagine his arms wrapping around her, the feel of her lips…
What the hell, Hatter? He checked himself to make sure he hadn't actually moved. No getting involved with Oysters. Idiot.
"Thank you," Alice said stiffly.
He realized that his hands were still on her hips, dropped them — Right. Back to business. — then turned and strode determinedly toward the Great Library as if nothing had happened.
Where the hell did that come from? Alice was pretty, but it's not like he went around kissing every good-looking woman he saw, even when he had the chance. 'Course, most girls I meet are just after the Tea...
He heard a gasp and turned to find Alice backed up against the ladder, clinging to it tightly with both hands. She stared wide-eyed at the ledge just a step in front of her, frozen in terror.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"I've got a thing about heights," she said, her voice tight.
Hatter leaned forward and looked over the edge. Birds soared between the buildings, and trees sprouted from ledges dozens of stories below. You could barely make out the ground. He forgot sometimes how high they were; you stopped noticing it after a while.
Alice laughed nervously. "Why couldn't you guys build this city on the ground?"
Hatter sighed. Couldn't anything be simple with this woman? "Look at me," he said.
But Alice didn't move. If anything, she clung to the ladder tighter. Her eyes were closed, and each shuddering breath seemed like a battle.
The sight was, well, rather unsettling. A minute ago, Alice had been charging headlong into the unknown. Now, all of her fierceness — all of what Hatter already thought of as her Alice-ness — was gone. One step out the back door, and she'd been completely undone by an ordinary, everyday Wonderland danger. The first of many.
Hatter could still remember his first weeks in the City. He'd hated the heights, too. He'd also gotten lost twice, slept on the street, been cheated out of most of what he owned, and seen two people get shot. It had been terrifying, and he'd had friends and family with him.
Not that it did much good in the end, he thought. Wonderland…
"Alice," he said quietly. She looked at him then — doubtful, hopeful. Hatter held out his hand, and after a long moment, she let go of the ladder and took it. He felt something move inside him, sharp and painful. This woman had no business being in his hellhole of a kingdom.
"Try not to look down, okay?" he asked.
Alice nodded, and he led her slowly away from the ledge. Her eyes didn't leave his for a second.
When they reached a small alleyway with sturdy walls on two sides, he stopped and gave Alice a minute to find her bearings. She leaned against a wall and closed her eyes again, but still clung to his hand like a lifeline.
It reminded Hatter of his first trip to the Great Library, also taking someone both terrified and brave.
About five years ago, the (now former) Nine of Spades had stopped by the Tea Shop for his bottle of contraband wine and passed on a bit of gossip. It seemed one of the pre-war noble families was hiding out in the City. They were nobody of real importance, but a little girl was overheard bragging that her great-grandpa was a Knight, and the Queen felt it was best to nip that in the bud. So if Hatter knew anyone, shall we say, subtle, this would be a great way for them to get in the Queen's good graces.
Hatter feigned interest and got the address — one he knew well. He excused himself as quickly as he could, ducked out the back door, and tore down to the place, where he found Will (one of his youngest scavengers), Will's 5-year-old sister Lily, a tall stack of contraband books, and a Tea-addled father twitching in bed.
It was them, all right. They even had a rusty old shield propped up in the corner. Their father refused to budge, but Hatter snuck the kids back to the Tea Shop and hid them in the basement. (The books, sadly, had to stay behind.)
It took a little persuasion, but Dormie finally admitted to knowing someone in the Resistance. He agreed to contact them, and the next night, a few hours before sunrise, Dodo and Daisy came to take the kids to the Great Library.
That was when the trouble started. Hatter refused to let the kids leave with total strangers, no matter who they claimed to be, and insisted on coming along to the Library. Dodo wouldn't hear of it. He insulted Hatter, lectured him, patronized him, and when Hatter still wouldn't budge, he shouted and raged about Hatter's idiocy, his selfishness, and his desecration of everything pure and good about Wonderland.
It was Daisy who eventually got Dodo to come around. Daisy was the Great Library's steward, of sorts — making sure everyone was fed, clothed, and taken care of — and she could think of plenty of ways a Tea Shop owner might come in handy for the Resistance. And for some reason Hatter never understood, she seemed to trust him almost at once.
Dodo finally agreed to let Hatter come and, with ill-disguised contempt, led their little party out the Tea Shop's back door.
As they started down the ladder, Lily (who had been very brave so far) looked out at the darkness and froze. She'd left her father and her home, slept in a strange basement full of mysterious boxes, and stayed very calm while Dodo ranted and cursed. But now that she had to set out in the night again, she just couldn't move.
Hatter knelt down beside her. "Lily, do you know the story about Alice rescuing the baby from the Duchess?" She nodded. And they quietly told it to each other, with Hatter beginning and Lily filling in her favorite parts, as he lifted her onto his back, climbed down the ladder, and carried her all the way to the Library.
That had been the beginning of Hatter's mostly-unofficial association with the Resistance. They may have been a load of idealistic fools, but they were Wonderland's only hope, small a hope as that was. And if Hatter could keep a few more of them alive, well, that was something. Right?
Hatter saw Will's face again in his mind's eye and sighed. Yeah, but alive for how long? No–
"Thank you," Alice said, interrupting his thoughts. She let go of his hand, stood up, and took a deep breath, trying to look composed. Hatter could see she was still trembling a little, and he had to fight the sudden, bewildering impulse to wrap his arms around her.
"We should keep moving," he said. Let's get this over with.
Alice nodded, and they continued on. Against his better judgment, Hatter chose a route with fewer ledges and more chances of being noticed. With any luck, they would still be there in less than half an hour.