Start from Scratch

by Quitting Time

It's been 3 years since Hollywood Arts and Jade's life hasn't worked out like she wanted it too. Fleeing her past, she must start over from stratch and finds her only refuge is with a person with her own personal demons, Tori Vega. Can the pair rebuild their lives and perhaps even find love along the way. A Jori story.

41. A Bad Night

Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

Start from Scratch.

Chapter 41 – A bad night.

Authors note, This story is winding down, 1 or 2 chapters left. Plus I have an extremely important announcement at the end of this chapter, please read it.

Tori's POV.

It's early April now and some four months have passed since Jade has officially moved in. We've become very close in that time and things have gone relatively well. Jade continues her therapy and very slowly is pulling herself back together.

Her and I continue our intimacy strengthening exercises. We spend 5 minutes touching each other nearly every single evening. I love it and I know Jade does too. Though she says little about it, I know that if we don't have a session, the next day she will be crabby. I added some more things. At least once a week we have to write a small note saying something good about the other. I make time to spend just talking with Jade.

Keeping the lines of communication open is important. We added another one just last week by taking a bath together. There was no sex, but we sat in the tub and washed each other. Then we cuddled and talked. We're still taking it very slow physically. Our mental bond is the one we're focusing on.

It was very nice. I'm falling for her more each day. I know she feels the same way.

Jade still works at the hospital and has auditioned for a few parts but nothing panned out yet. I can tell it's frustrating for her. Me, I continue to work both jobs and am hard at work on my music.

While we've become very close, we've had some bad days here and there. Jade continues to have nightmares. She still hates being touched by anyone else but me. She'll let Cat and Barbie touch her, but somewhat begrudgingly. She has days where's she particularly moody and combative.

We've had a few arguments, their usually over small things. I'll do something that would only seem a minor annoyance, but it will cause Jade to blow up. It's a part of her trauma and afterward she feels badly. Some are just normal arguments, like any couple have.

It's complicated, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

It's late on a Friday night and I'm coming home from a shift at The Play Pen. Sometimes Jade waits up for me, sometimes not. Personally l like it when she's asleep and I can just crawl into bed with her.

Tonight as I entered, I saw the lights are off, but as soon as I shut the door I quickly became aware of Jade screaming.

Oh chiz, she's having another nightmare.

Rushing into bedroom I flip on the lights to see her violently thrashing in bed, alternately screaming NO and please don't.

"Jade…Jade….Wake up…." I say loudly as I nudge her a bit.

I've learned to be careful when she's having a nightmare. Once a few months ago she was having one and I grabbed her to wake her up. Frightened ,disorientated and not even awake, she punched me in the stomach, which hurt like hell. I was tempted to tell her later that she had done that, but I knew it would only lay more guilt on her. There was no bruise so I never told her what she had done and I never will. Some secrets are worth keeping.

So sitting on the edge of the bed, I gently shake her away, but at the same time maintaining my distance. I hate seeing her like this, I really do.

"Jade…Jade…Please wake up….." I call out again as I gave her a bigger nudge and then back off.

She shakes violently a few seconds more and then screams and suddenly sits up in bed.

For a few moments she sits there, her hands shaking and saying nothing. I need to give her a moment to wake up.

"Jade are you ok" I say cautiously.

She puts her hand up to keep me away. "Just give me a second….."

"Fine, I'll go lock the front door and be right back."

I did so and returned to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, blankly starring ahead. Not sure if she wanted me close, I paused just inside the doorway.

"Bad one?"

Jade nodded and patted the spot next to her. "Sit with me please."

Quietly I sat down, where she promptly put her arms around me and began to cry. I then put my arms around her and held her as close as I could.

"It's ok, now. I'm here." I said in a soft comforting voice.

I could ask her about the nightmare, but I won't. It's probably the same one she always has; Beck has her trapped back in that apartment, where he rapes her over and over. She doesn't have the nightmares as often, but when they come, they can still be quite intense.

Instead I let her cry into my shoulder and just rock her back and forth.

"It's ok, baby. Shhh….."

After a few minutes of crying she sort of goes limp in my arms. The nightmares leave her drained, both physical and mentally.

I feel bad for not being there earlier to wake her up, but I was working. Still I feel the need to apologize.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you Jade."

"Don't apologize, there's nothing to apologize for." Jade said weakly.

"Still I feel bad."

"Don't. With one incident which we will no longer discuss, you've always been there for me. They say I'm the strong one, you're the strong one Tori. You're human, but you are the strong one. I'd have never made it without you."

"I may be the strong, one but I need you too. I'm sure someday, I'll need support and I know you'll be there for me."

She remains in my arms for a few moments more then lifts her head, looking me in the eye.

Her eyes are bloodshot and full of strain but I see something else in them. It's more an apprehension than anything.

"Tori?"

"Yes." I say as I gently stroke her hair.

"I know this is hardly the most romantic time to say this but Tori Vega….I love you."

For an instant my heart stops as my emotions suddenly run wild. "Jade has never told me that. Nor have I told her. But those three words are music to my soul."

I can't help but smile and then say something I've known to be true for a long time. "I love you too." It feels wonderful just to say it, plus it's true.

Jade bursts into tears again which due to my now emotional overload, I do the same and we cry in each other's arms. For a few more moments we cry until I ease her back on to the bed.

"You just rest….I'll get ready for bed."

"Don't leave me….." Jade then says just above a whisper.

"Never."

I quickly change into my sleeping clothes, do my bathroom stuff and return to the bedroom. Jade's still awake and smiles at me when I enter the room.

After turning off the light I slip into bed and we face each other.

"I meant what I said Vega."

"I know, Jade. I do too."

"Can we touch!"

I nod and for the next five minutes we continue our ritual of spending 5 silent minutes touching each other. I think that alone has done so much for us, in bringing us together. Tonight after our declaring our love for each other, it feels very special. So special, we keep going for more than 15 minutes.

"Better?" I finally say.

Jade manages a smile. "More than better, that was beautiful. Kind a like making love without the sex."

"I like that. A lot."

"Tori can I ask you a question?"

"What?"

"Why did you decide to work at The Playpen?' I know it pays well, but surely you could have found something else less degrading."

I sigh involuntarily. "That's why I picked it."

"Because it was degrading?"

"Yes."

Jade sat up in bed. "Why?"

I sat up in bed and faced Jade. "Because I was punishing myself for what I did to you. That I felt I deserved to be degraded groped and treated like an object for turning my back on you."

Jade quickly put her forehead against mine. "I hate the fact that you felt you had to do that. Tori you did what you needed to. You're only human, you're not superwoman. I hurt you by going back to Beck. Now I feel even worse."

I then moved my head back and took both of her hands in mine. "Don't Jade please don't. We did something special tonight. We declared our love for each other. And for our love to grow, we need to stop living in the past. I know it's not easy, but we need to try. It will trip us up from time to time but we need to move on. Yes, I started there because I thought I deserved it, but I stay because I have good friend that works there and the money is really good. It's not forever."

"You're right."

I then leaned over and kissed her. "Well Jade. You've had a bad night. But the nightmare is over, there's nothing left to apologize for. So let's get under the covers again, not talk anymore about it tonight. Just be two women in love, holding each other. Because there is nothing more I want to do is spoon you, feel you pressed up against me.

Jade smiled, but only for a second. "The nightmares will return."

"I know that and I will be there for you. To hold you to tell you you're safe and that I love you."

Jade kissed me back and that said we slipped under the covers where nestled in and spooned Jade from behind. I love this, I'm close to her, I can smell her hair, and it's wonderful and perfect.

Reaching over I took Jade hand which she squeezed.

What started off badly had turned into a nice and ultra-perfect moment, but one thing made me chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm just trying to think of you that first day I met you and what you'd say if I told you that one day we'd be spooning."

Jade's response was both quick and blunt. "I would have stabbed you to death with my blue pair of scissors, probably right there on the spot."

"Well that tender moment was fun while it lasted." I quipped with mock sarcasm. "Where is that pair of scissors anyway."

"Under my pillow" Jade stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Hey I thought we agreed not to have scissors under the pillow."

"No, you agreed not to have scissors under the pillow. I simply nodded in acknowledgment of you agreeing not to. I never said I would go along with it. I never sleep without scissors."

My annoyed silence must have quickly registered with Jade who then said. "or without you. The thing is Tori that once I didn't realize how wonderful scissors were. But I learned how beautiful and wonderful they are. Back then I didn't know what I know now."

"And what's that?"

"That you are my soulmate."

I kissed the back of Jade's neck in response. "How funny, that I would learn the same thing about you."

Jade chuckled and in a soft voice said. "Good night lover, soulmate, friend, companion, my strength, my heart, my everything."

For a few moments I was speechless and overwhelmed at Jade's tender and soft declaration that I was everything to her. I was so overwhelmed, I shed a tear.

"That's so beautiful. I don't even know what I could say that could even come close."

"All you ever need to say is three words, I don't need anything more."

Moving my head I put my lips to her hear. "I love you. Goodnight."

I put my head down, closed my eyes and happily pressed up against the woman I loved, waited for sleep to claim us.

A nice tender chapter for you people. I hope you like it. As I said, this story is winding down.

SUPER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCMENT

Those you who follow Elizabeth Gillies, on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram probably saw the two sets of pictures she put out recently. The first was her in a black dress, where she joked she looked like an Upper East Side widow on her way to the funeral of her husband, whom she killed. The second was her in a pink dress, joking how this was the same widow posing for reporters on the day she's acquitted of murder.

Well I saw those pictures and decided to turn her idea into a full blown and original story. It has original characters and I think it's quite good. Since it's an original story and not fan fiction I have published on fan fictions sister site fictionpress dot com

If you enjoy my reading I think you'll really like this dark and sometimes humorous tale of a murderess.

I have the same pen name there "Quitting Time." and the story is called "Upper East Side."

Here is the link. I had to put spaces in it.

fictionpress DOT com / s /3259089 /1 /Upper-East-Side

As I said this is not a Jori or even an Victorious story, but an original story based on Liz Gillie's original concept.

SO please head over, give the story a read, review and if you like, even pass the word on, via facebook, twitter or instagram as I'm sure other Liz Gillies fans would like to read it as well. Tell me do you think I did her concept justice? I'm really eager to know.

Oh and by the way, I'm on twitter.

QuittingTime101