Author's Note: My thanks to Erana, and for everyone who has stuck with this story so far. Finally, the end of Act 2!
Dearest Father,
Sebastian and Fenris accompanied me to the compound to meet with the Arishok. Aveline and a handful of her guardsmen were waiting for us, and I think that's when the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach began to truly twist my insides. I hadn't slept much, nightmares and fear keeping me awake most of the night in anticipation of what we were about to do. Confront the Arishok, in his already angered state, about the two fugitives who fled to conversion rather than a public hearing.
The first sign of trouble was when we were told at the gate that only Aveline and I, along with three of her men, were allowed entrance. They had never denied entrance to my companions before, and I gave them a nervous glance before we entered. I could hear Fenris' rumbling of disapproval, and I silently prayed to the Maker for Sebastian to keep him calm while we were inside.
Aveline began the conversation with the Arishok, which I was thankful for. I was more than happy to stand behind her, hoping to hide behind her large frame and wishing he hadn't noticed I was even there. But when she asked about the fugitives, he immediately dismissed her and addressed me about the stolen relic.
I was honest with him, told him I had no idea where it was. He knew more than he let on though, saying I was minimizing my role in its disappearance. I don't know why I didn't jump at the chance to place the blame on Isabela, it was her fault after all we were in this mess to begin with, but I suppose there was still some lingering loyalty to our friendship that kept me from doing so.
Aveline came to the rescue, stating the relic was an issue for another time. She repeated her claim that we were there for the fugitives, but the Arishok informed us that they had converted to the Qun, and therefore were untouchable under his command. I questioned their loyalty, how convenient it was that they were wanted for murder yesterday and now faithful followers today. The Arishok felt it necessary to remind us about the corruption within the city before presenting the elves, giving them an opportunity to explain their side of the story.
A city guard had forced himself on their sister, and so they killed him. I confronted Aveline about their accusation, and while she said there had been rumors, she refused to admit what they said could be the truth. In that moment I couldn't really blame the elves; had anyone done anything to hurt Bethany, I know Carver and I would've done the exact same thing. Sometimes, regardless of right or wrong, the love of family can be blinding when it comes to revenge.
Aveline had a more logical mindset in this matter, perhaps it is because she doesn't have siblings that she doesn't understand. She stated how their actions were wrong, just as wrong as the Arishok taking matters into his own hands when it came to the Viscount's son. She pushed for him to hand them over, and the knots in my stomach grew even stronger. Especially when he asked for my opinion, asked me what I would do if I were in his position.
The relic was gone, there was no reason for him to remain, and I told him as much. I asked him why he didn't just leave. He obviously hated Kirkwall, hated us, but he insisted he still couldn't leave without the relic, or stay and remain blind to the city's dysfunction. To him there was only one solution, and I knew before he shouted his command of "Vinek kathas" what that solution would be.
War.
We were attacked immediately, Aveline's guardsmen falling fast with spears thrust through their bodies. The Arishok looked on as we fled for our lives, and for a brief moment our eyes met. They were so cold Father, so full of hate and rage, and for a second I found myself unable to move under his gaze. Aveline yanked at my arm, nearly pulling it out of its socket, as we continued to run from the compound. I could hear as we moved closer to the gate that Fenris and Sebastian were engaged in combat as well.
With our assistance, Fenris and Sebastian were able to take out the guards, and we ran up the stairs to Lowtown. We heard the fighting all around us; apparently it didn't take long for the Qunari to secure the docks, and they were already moving through the streets of Lowtown. We hid in an alcove to regroup, discuss a plan, figure out what we were going to do. Aveline suggested we gather everyone at the estate. She would go to the Hanged Man to alert Varric, who'd get Merrill, and we carefully made our way to Darktown to get Anders. I knew we'd need his help in healing; it would be impossible for me to do it alone.
By the time we returned to Lowtown, it appeared as though a massacre had occurred. Buildings and debris were set on fire, corpses and wounded littered the streets. Anders and I did what we could while Sebastian and Fenris took to fighting. It wasn't just the Qunari we were facing; elven supporters poured out of the alienage assisting in the destruction of the city, and even the Coterie were attacking us. They attacked the Qunari as well, which had me wondering, just who's side were they on?
I insisted on heading to Gamlen's to make sure he was alright. Odd, the people you run into, when you're in the middle of fighting for your life. The Warden's were there, being attacked by the Qunari, and we aided them in clearing out the area.
"You have our sincere thanks," one of the Warden's said, wiping the blood off his blade on a nearby Qunari corpse. "This attack was most unexpected."
"For all of us," Hawke said, discreetly scanning the area for Anders. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted him, slipping into Gamlen's apartment above them. No doubt a great position to eavesdrop from, but she was also thankful that her uncle would have the company of a healer, should he need it.
"We have not met," the man continued. "I am Stroud, of the Grey Wardens. I can not believe the Qunari would dare such an attack. This will lead to war with the Free Marches for certain."
Hawke shook her head. "I'm more concerned with the immediate threat. They are taking over Kirkwall, at an alarming rate. I fear they've been planning this for months."
"If not years, it seems," Stroud said, surveying the damage. "It is a shame, but I fear pressing matters take us elsewhere."
Hawke couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You're going to leave us? What could be more important than an invasion? The Warden's would be of great use to us."
"Unfortunately I can not discuss Warden business with an outsider," Stroud said. "But I assure you it is of the utmost importance. We will spread word to the other cities in our travels."
Sebastian stepped forward. "The citizens of this city are being slaughtered," he told Stroud. "You can walk away from that willingly?"
"Wardens can not interfere in political struggles," Stroud stated. "I am sorry. Maker watch over you, my friend."
"And now you know why I hate the Wardens," Anders said once Stroud and his men had departed.
"Cowards," Hawke said, watching as the Wardens disappeared down the stairs to the docks. Her fear continued to grow, seeing a chance for hope slipping away. "What were they doing in the city anyway? I hadn't heard they were here?"
Anders smiled. "There's a Warden dead drop near the Foundry. I keep an eye on its contents to make sure there's no mention of me. They were most likely picking up the latest report from their spies in the area."
"I'm glad you're no longer with them." Hawke said. "Useless twits. Is Gamlen alright?"
"Cowering under his bed with a bottle," Anders informed her. "He'll be fine."
"Alright then, let's go," Hawke commanded. "I'm afraid to see what the Qunari have done with Hightown."
As we ascended the stairs, we heard screaming. A desperate, horrific plea for help. We quickened our pace to the top and saw two Qunari dragging a woman across the marketplace by her feet. Immediately we rushed to intervene. They made some comment about how unfortunate it was that the Arishok failed to take us captive, and then attacked, releasing their prisoner. I watched as she ran to safety before engaging in the fight.
Just when we thought we were finished, a massive wave of magic threw us all to the ground. My vision was a bit hazy from the fall, but as my eyes began to focus, I saw a Qunari mage headed straight for me. In that moment Father, I assumed death was imminent, and took a deep breath in anticipation of the final blow, as his fingers began to glow a brilliant blue, his magic growing stronger with each horrid second that passed.
It was not my time to die apparently, as a very large blade suddenly protruded from the Saarebas' stomach, and he fell to his knees. The sword was extracted, swung wide, and then his head was detached from his body. Its wielder, a very tall woman with a warrior's build, extended her hand and helped me to my feet.
She introduced herself as Knight Commander Meredith, and I heard Anders gasp behind me. My natural instinct was to run away, hide, disappear. Flee Kirkwall and never look back. The woman I most feared while living in this city now stood before me, and I was terrified. Even more so when she admitted that she knew who I was from reputation, as well as being Carver's sister.
That moment was not the time to have our long overdue confrontation, thankfully she knew that, as she jumped right into the task at hand. Meredith informed us that the Qunari were assembling people at the Viscount's Keep. Fenris was kind enough to tell us that the Arishok would most likely convert the willing and kill anyone else, as they had done in other cities. Meredith agreed to ignore my use of magic, and that of my companions, as long as we stood united in defending Kirkwall.
While she went to gather her men, we made our way to the Keep. More bodies in the streets, more buildings set aflame, more fighting. While the Coterie had taken to Lowtown scraps, the Carta were in Hightown, picking the corpses like vultures. We ran into Varric and Merrill just outside the estate. Bodahn and Sandal were safe, thank the Maker. Varric informed us that Aveline took her guard to the docks in an attempt to reclaim them. With the rest of us now together, the Qunari were no match for us, and we reached the Keep with ease.
When the fighting was over, Anders and I looked for any survivors that needed healing. Those that we found we helped as best we could, and then sent them off to the estate to hide. It was difficult to remain strong when so many of the faces I saw were familiar to me. Those that lived in Hightown, merchants, even several mages from the Gallows. I wondered idly what they were doing there, but it didn't take long for me to get my answer.
We met First Enchanter Orsino, who explained to us that Meredith had allowed the Gallows to clear out at the first sign of attack. For all the rumors I had heard about the woman, this came as a surprise. I suppose she couldn't just leave them in their rooms to get butchered, so instead she allowed them freedom to survive. She showed up seconds later with her men, including Carver.
While I wanted nothing more to embrace him, I knew, as he stood proudly beside Meredith, that this was not the time. Unfortunately, whatever joy I had in seeing my brother was short-lived, as Meredith and Orsino immediately started bickering about just whose plan would work in invading the Keep. I begged them to stop arguing, told them that working together was the only way we'd make it through this. And so they left it up to me, somehow the neutral party in all this, to decide how we'd proceed.
While Varric and Sebastian disarmed the traps poorly set on the stairs leading to the Keep, Carver and I went to take a look at what the Qunari were up to. There weren't many left outside the Keep's entrance, I knew we could easily take them out with my group and Meredith's men. Orsino stood watch as we attacked, and only seconds later did he yell a warning that another group of Qunari were entering the area. Meredith insisted we get into the Keep and find the Viscount before the Arishok began killing people, and so we did. I hated leaving Carver so soon after joining him again, but Meredith was right. There was little time to waste.
We heard the screams coming from the throne room as soon as we entered. There was such an odd, eerie feeling to the usually busy entranceway. The stairs were empty, Viscount's office closed, barracks doors sealed. No sign of the Viscount, or his Seneschal, only the echoes of fear in the distance. We were met with very little resistance as we made our way to the throne room, which concerned me. The Viscount had always mentioned there were hundreds of Qunari in the city; certainly we didn't see that many on our way here. The amount of them gathered within that room would be immense, as we discovered when we entered.
The Arishok towered over the large mass of very frightened nobles and cityfolk, and within seconds of our entrance, he tossed a head toward the crowd. As it rolled closer to us, I realized it was Dumar. One of the nobles spoke up about the disgrace of the Arishok's actions, and was met with a snap of the neck from a nearby Qunari. In that moment, I had no idea what we were going to do, or how we were going to protect all of these people.
After the Arishok insulted the citizens for being weak and pathetic, he acknowledged our presence. I begged him to end this, to let everyone go, but he claimed I was no better than the ignorant that inhabited Kirkwall. In order for him to even speak to me further, he said I had to prove myself, and ordered his men to attack us.
He kept the fight fair, I'll give him that. Only a handful of Qunari attacked us, and with the same skill we had used to get to the Keep, we fought back. As long as fighting with us kept the Qunari from attacking the innocent, I didn't mind. It was the best possible outcome. I briefly wondered how long the Arishok planned for this to go on, but when we won the first wave of fighting, he put a stop to it immediately.
Apparently I had earned enough of his respect to continue the conversation. He asked me how I would resolve the conflict. I knew by now the only way he'd leave peacefully would be by having his relic returned to him. I tried that, assuring him that I would find Isabela and his book so that he could leave the city and go home. He accused me of helping Isabela, but I told him the truth, that the plan all along was to retrieve the book and give it to him.
Too little too late it seemed. At first he threatened me, told me that I would answer for Isabela's crime since she was a former companion of mine. The sting of Isabela's abandonment continued to haunt me, as I felt, in that moment, that Kirkwall would now be lost because of me. To my surprise, Fenris began speaking to the Arishok in his language, and before I knew it, another option was presented. A duel between me and the Arishok, to the death. If I were to win, the Qunari would leave Kirkwall.
I heard Sebastian curse at Fenris. I felt the tension rise in the room. I noticed all the hopeful eyes on me, begging me to accept, to secure freedom for Kirkwall. I had no choice but to agree to the Arishok's terms, and he graciously allowed me a few minutes to speak with my companions.
There was only one person I needed in that moment, and that was Sebastian. He took my hand and led me behind one of the large pillars. Though privacy was not an option with the Qunari and half of Kirkwall watching us, it was the best we were going to get to say goodbye.
"Hawke, you don't have to do this."
"Do you remember that night in the Chantry?" Hawke asked him, ignoring his statement. "The first time you offered me your friendship?"
"Of course," Sebastian said, remembering every moment they had spent together. "You came to the Chantry because of a dream about your sister."
Hawke nodded. "She tried to make me face my demons, beginning with the Qunari that murdered my fiance. That's where my hatred of them comes from, you know. From watching as one of them slaughtered my Jeremy and his family; innocent men, women and children, for no reason at all."
"I am so sorry, Hawke," Sebastian began.
Hawke cut him off. "Do not feel sorry for me. I have done horrid things to his people since," she said, nodding in the direction of the Arishok. "I allowed Varnell to kill those delegates. I took pleasure in their deaths. My sister tried to warn me not to let my hate for them consume me, but I refused to listen to her. All that has come to pass today is because of me, Sebastian. The Maker is punishing me for my deeds, my need for revenge. Now I, too, will die by their hands."
"No, Hawke. No," Sebastian said firmly, trying to reassure her. "The Maker would never… He cares for you, for all his followers. You have more than repented for your sins with all the good you have done."
"It's wasn't enough though, or we wouldn't be here. Please, Sebastian, tell me, what happens when we die?" Hawke asked, her bottom lip quivering with fear.
Sebastian cupped her chin with his hand. "Do not ask these questions," he said. "You will not die today."
"What if I do?" she asked, eyes looking upward into his. "I asked you once, but you never answered. Will the Maker have a place for me at His side? Or cast me to the Void because I am a mage? For those sins I have committed against the Qunari?" A tear trickled from her eye. "I'm scared, Sebastian. I need to know He will not abandon me."
"He will not," Sebastian promised, wiping the tear from her cheek. "And neither shall I." He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers in the same gentle manner he had imagined so many times in his dreams. The uncertainty that normally followed in his imagination was swept away by the warmth of her mouth upon his. The Qunari, the frightened nobles, they all faded away, replaced by the taste of her, the sweet, delicious feel of her tongue dancing against his. Sebastian wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in close and demanding even more of her.
Hawke closed her eyes, lost in sensation. Thoughts of his vows, of how this was wrong, how she was going to lose him to the Chantry or to death flashed through her mind for only an instant, pushed away by the feel of him. She had wanted this for so long, since the very first day she saw him, and though she'd always feared it was wrong, for so many reasons, nothing had ever felt so right to her.
A soft moan escaped her lips, and Sebastian nearly crumbled under the sudden desire that flooded his body. He wanted nothing more than to carry her off to the nearest surface, set her down and begin trailing his tongue from her mouth to the elegant swoop of her neck. His fingers would work to free her from the garments that kept him from possessing her completely, and she would make that breathy groan as he worked to fulfill her every desire. Audience be damned, he would take her right there on the throne room floor.
A harsh, loud grumble from the Arishok stopped the sweet sounds from escaping her throat and pulled Sebastian away from the haze of need that had consumed him. It still took every ounce of restraint within him to step away from her. He reached a trembling hand up to her face, tracing her plump lips with his finger.
"The Qunari forced Isabela to flee your side," Sebastian said, trying to find the words to encourage her in these final seconds they had alone. "They stole your chance at happiness with your fiance. Now they threaten this. Us. Our future. Take that pain, that anger, and give it back to them. Channel your grief, your hate, and your desire into this fight. When you win, because you will, leave here and find peace within yourself again." He pressed his lips to her forehead gently, a pale echo of their earlier kiss. "You deserve that, and so much more."
"Sebastian," Hawke whispered, barely able to find her voice.
He pressed his forehead against hers. "Defeat him, Marian," he ordered firmly, refusing to give voice to his own fear. "Win."
And I did just that Father. I channeled everything within me, all the anger and hate and fury, as well as the love I had for my friends, for this city, and for Sebastian. I poured all of that into the fight with a man three times my size, and I won. There were times I thought I'd fall, was nearly tempted to cross the line and use my blood for its power, but then I would look at Sebastian, and with one encouraging nod, he had me up on my feet again, fighting for all of our lives, and the promise of a future with him.
It was a cathartic release, letting it all go as the battle dragged on. I felt the weight I had placed on my own shoulders begin to lift, I felt almost free, using my magic as a way to save the city. The Arishok landed several blows that should've crushed me, but for whatever reason, I managed to survive. I almost felt as if I had tapped into some part of myself I never knew was there, some strength instilled within me by you Father. And if that was you protecting me as best you could from wherever you are, I thank you.
"Any news?" Hawke asked Carver when he entered the bedroom, hope wavering in her eyes.
Carver shook his head. "I'm sorry sister. No one has seen or heard from Sebastian since the battle."
"You probably gave him a lot of thinking to do," Varric offered. "That was quite the public display of affection."
Hawke sighed. "We were just caught up in the moment," she said, briefly allowing herself the memory of his lips on hers. "I didn't expect anything more from him than he was willing to give."
"From what I saw Hawke? He was willing," Varric told her. "Give him some time. Can't be easy for him, realizing he's just thrown his vows to the Chantry out the window for a quick liplock with the Champion of Kirkwall."
She couldn't help but laugh at his comment. "Some Champion," she said, inwardly cringing at the title bestowed upon her by Meredith. "Laid up in this bed for days with half my body broken, stinking from whatever salves Anders keeps applying to my skin. If I were Sebastian, I'd run too, far away."
Hawke continued to smile as the others joined in her laughter. She hoped it was enough to convince them that her insides weren't in constant turmoil with each passing day Sebastian hadn't returned. Though that kiss was everything she had dreamed of, it had come with a high price. Kirkwall remained in chaos with no Viscount, Isabela was long gone, and her prince had disappeared. Only in the few hours at night that her friends graciously left her alone did she cry, succumbing to her fear and anxiety that he may never return.
Carver gave her hand a gentle squeeze, offering her a wink before returning to jovial banter with Varric. The one shining light in her currently dark world was her brother being by her side after so much time apart. Her renewed confidence from Sebastian's words, defeating the Arishok, and her brother's presence would have to be enough to sustain her for now.