Piper informed Alex a few days later that she'd reached out to her father to see if he was interested in meeting them for dinner in the city on Saturday night. He had accepted, and Piper was a nervous wreck as the date approached. To take Piper's mind off of the dinner meeting with her father, Alex tried to stoke her girlfriend up for meeting Shelia that Thursday. It worked like a charm, and the blonde spent hours shopping to find the perfect outfit for meeting the woman who had a crush on her lover.
"Hey," Piper greeted Alex with a peck on the lips.
The brunette wheeled her desk chair back and stood. "Hi, ready for lunch?"
She held up a brown bag. "I brought Nicoise salads and San Pellegrino."
"My favorite." Alex shut her laptop and took her girlfriend's hand, escorting her down the hallway to the staff lunch room. "Shelia will probably be here in five minutes. She has a sixth sense for when I'm taking my lunch break." She stood in front of an open table and glanced at her girlfriend. "You look pretty fucking hot." She smirked.
Piper wore tight, faded jeans and a dark blue flounce cami with a deep V-neckline and spaghetti straps. She had on Alex's leather jacket unzipped over the blouse. "That was my goal."
"Is that my jacket?" Alex took a seat across from the blonde.
"I don't own a leather jacket, so yes, it is." She took the food out of the bag.
"You should wear it more often." The brunette licked her lips. "Preferably in bed with nothing under it."
Piper tilted her head. "That can be arranged."
"Hey, Alex," Shelia said as she approached their table. "Mind if I join you?"
"I do mind, actually." She brushed her hair over one shoulder. "I'm having lunch with my girlfriend."
Shelia glanced at the blonde. "Your girlfriend?"
"Hi, I'm Piper." She shook the other woman's hand. "Alex's girlfriend…or partner…whatever you want to call me."
"Oh, I…" Shelia looked down, and then back up at both women. "How long have you been together?"
"Four years?" The blonde looked at her lover for clarification.
"Something like that, yeah." She took a sip of lemon San Pellegrino.
"You're a really lucky woman," Shelia said.
"Believe me, I know." Piper grabbed Alex's hand and rubbed her knuckles with her thumb.
"Well, I guess I won't keep you from eating your lunch," Shelia replied. Before walking away, she turned around and added. "If you ever consider a threesome, I'd be honored."
The blonde's eyes bugged out, but Alex kept her cool. "I'm not going to share Piper with anyone, but thanks anyway."
"Yeah, I…um, feel the same way. I'm not into sharing," Piper added.
Alex could tell that her girlfriend was doing everything in her power not to laugh hysterically in that moment. As soon as Shelia was out of sight, the blonde let out a boisterous burst of laughter.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Piper asked between laughs. "That was Shelia? And she hit on both of us?"
"She was not blessed with social graces," Alex replied with a milder laugh.
"Oh, man…that was priceless!"
"Now you can see that there's no reason at all to be jealous, babe." She took a bite of salad.
"I don't know…she was kind of cute," the blonde replied, hardly containing a grin.
That earned her a wide Alex smile. "Please!"
On Saturday afternoon, Piper's nerves got the best of her, and she began dropping clues of potentially backing out of dinner with her father.
"I see what you're doing," Alex said, curling iron in her hair. "You're hoping that I'll talk shit about your dad, making you think that I'm the one who wants to back out. Not gonna work, kid."
Piper sulked, knowing that her girlfriend could read her like a book. "I'm scared that he's going to say something to piss me off, and I'm going to make a scene in the restaurant."
"You're not usually one to fly off the handle." She turned down the Pearl Jam song that was blaring in the background.
The blonde put on a lacy black bra and matching panties, and Alex had to turn away. Now was not the time for a romp in the sack, but oh, how she wanted Piper and her toned, little body.
"If he insults you, I will fly off the handle," she stated firmly, seemingly unaware of Alex's sexual thoughts.
"Is this going to be like an episode of the Jerry Springer show?" The brunette teased, putting mascara on her eyelashes and banishing those other thoughts from her mind. "Maybe I should sell tickets."
"You're not funny," she pouted, pulling on a thin, beige sweater.
Alex eyed her through the mirror. "That sweater is a little see-through."
Piper looked at her chest. "I'm wearing something that makes me look like an adult."
"If you talk and act like an adult, which you normally do, your clothes won't matter."
"He still sees me as a child." She pulled on a pair of black pants that looked like they were tailor made for her body. "So whatever I can do to look more grown up, I'll do."
"You certainly don't look like a child to me." Alex couldn't help it. She sauntered over to her lover and gave her a healthy kiss on the lips, opening her mouth to indicate that she wanted Piper's tongue inside. "If you really want to back out, tell me now, because I can easily be persuaded to skip dinner with you looking the way you do." She tilted her head, placing one hand on the back of Piper's neck, and deepened the kiss.
"You think I look hot?" Piper smiled against her lips.
"Fuck, yeah." She continued kissing her lover.
The blonde pushed against Alex's chest. "Good. That's what I want him to think."
"Eww, that's gross." She wiped her mouth.
"That's not what I meant," Piper corrected. "I want my dad to see me as older and, I don't know…desirable."
She cupped Piper's face with both hands and looked into her eyes. "If anyone in that restaurant doesn't think you're desirable, they're fucking nuts." Alex pulled back. "In fact, I'm going to take a poll when we go inside to see how many people think you're hot."
This caused the blonde to giggle. "Alex!"
"What? Dare me?" She smiled at her girlfriend, and then looked serious again. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, babe, and you don't have to prove a thing to anyone, including your father."
Piper kissed her lover on the cheek and gave her a big hug. "Thank you for everything, Alex."
"You're welcome."
They took a taxi to Nice Matin, a French-Mediterranean inspired restaurant on West 70th Street, and Piper was antsy for the short cab ride.
"I'll be next to you the whole time," Alex stated right before they exited. "If you feel like screaming or running away, put your hand on my leg under the table."
The blonde nodded.
When they entered the restaurant, Piper's father was already there, sitting at the bar. Alex walked behind her girlfriend, hand gently at the small of her back. If there was one way she knew how to calm Piper down, it was with physical touch.
"Hi dad," Piper tucked a strand of curly hair behind her ear.
"Piper." He stood and went in for a hug, but she took a step back. Instead, he touched her shoulder. "It's so good to see you, sweetheart."
She tried smiling. "You remember Alex?"
"I do," he said, sticking out his hand to shake hers. "I believe I owe her an apology."
Alex could see that her girlfriend was surprised, and she herself was most definitely floored.
She shook his hand, but didn't reply. After all, what was she to say? Yes, you fucking prick, you DO owe me an apology. And apologize to your daughter, while you're at it for being such a dick.
"I did something I'm ashamed of, Alex, and I'm truly sorry," he admitted.
Alex felt like she was a good judge of character, and unless this man was an award-winning actor, she believed the sincerity of his statement.
"Apology accepted," she said with a forced smile. It was still too early to trust the man.
Bill smiled. "I believe our table is ready." He put his hand on Piper's upper back and escorted her to the hostess stand. The gesture wasn't lost on Alex, but this night was not about her—it was about her girlfriend reconnecting with her father. If he needed physical contact to feel good about himself, so be it.
The server took their drink orders, and Bill made small talk about a business trip he was taking to Paris the next morning. Piper replied with a snarky comment, "How convenient of you to make it to the city since you'll be flying out of JFK."
"I'm actually flying out of Newark," he retorted.
Their drinks were delivered—Bourbon for Bill, gin martini for Alex, and sparkling water for Piper.
When Bill didn't attempt to make a toast, Alex stepped up. She raised her glass, and the others followed suit. "A la votre!"
Piper clinked her glass against her girlfriend's. "Since when do you speak French?"
"Since high school." She took a sip.
"Eh, parlez vous francais?" Bill asked.
There was a part of her that wondered if he was trying to catch her in a lie. "Un peu. Je parle pas beaucoup, mais je sais assez pur passe."
"Impressive." Bill clinked his glass against Alex's for a second time. "Have you spent any time in France?"
"No, maybe someday though." She took another sip of her dry martini. "I took four years of French in high school and another two in college."
"So did I," Piper added. "I mean, I took four years in high school and have taken three in college."
"I remember," Alex said fondly.
They ordered their meals, and Bill took the liberty of ordering appetizers. Most of the pre-dinner conversation was between Piper and her father, which was fine with Alex. She liked watching Piper talk to others—she had a way of synthesizing information rapidly that made her excellent at conversing with adults.
Bill ordered another Bourbon, and asked Alex if she'd like another cocktail. She decided to switch to wine with dinner, and Bill asked if she'd like to look at the wine list to choose a bottle. Again, the brunette wondered if Piper's father was trying to trip her up, but she tried banishing that thought and giving him the benefit of the doubt.
While her nose was buried in the 10-page wine list, she listened acutely to the conversation. Everything seemed to be very surface level at the time, and Alex wondered if that's how the evening would go—no real decisions rendered and no formative opinions shared.
Keeping with the French theme, Alex ordered a bottle of Domaine Saint-Roche Viognier, and when the sommelier presented the bottle to them, Bill checked with Alex. "Are you comfortable tasting for the table?"
"Sure," she responded. "One of my college roommates was from Sonoma, and her family owned a winery."
The sommelier poured an ounce of white wine into Alex's glass.
"I'm fairly familiar with Northern California wine, which one do they own?"
"Matanzas Creek in Santa Rosa." She swirled the pale yellow liquid in her mouth and looked up at the somm. "It's great, thank you."
"I think they're known for their Sauvignon Blanc," Bill replied, finishing his Bourbon.
"They are," she said with a genuine grin. "But if you like reds, their Merlot is really special."
The somm poured a glass for each of the guests at the table, including Piper. (It wasn't unusual for Piper to enjoy wine with Alex after work and at dinner. She'd informed her a while ago that wine at dinner was standard growing up, even for the Chapman children.)
It was Bill's turn to raise his glass for a second toast. "To discovery."
"Cheers." She toasted to Piper first, and then clinked glasses with Mr. Chapman.
Their entrees arrived, and they once again made small talk, this time about Alex's college experience at UC Berkeley.
"How's this going so far, dad?" Piper asked her father after a bite of bouillabaisse.
"Fine, but I have to say it's like eating dinner with you and a friend," he replied.
Piper covered her girlfriend's hand with her own. "Alex is more than a friend, dad, and I need you to understand that. We don't hold hands and kiss all the time, but we're a couple, and we do coupley things."
Alex tensed, but she hoped Piper didn't sense it.
He looked at his plate. "That's really hard for me to digest."
"I know it is, but I want you to comprehend what I'm saying." She glanced at Alex, and then back at her father. "I love Alex deeply, and I want to feel comfortable expressing my affection for her in front of you."
"We're not going to makeout in front of you, Bill," the brunette tried with a small smile.
She watched Mr. Chapman's shoulders drop as if he was relieved by her statement.
"But we're going to behave like couples do, which means there's going to be hand holding, affectionate touching, and maybe even a kiss at some point," Alex added.
"You seem like a decent person, Alex, and it's clear that you love my daughter." He put his fork down and steepled his hands. "If you were a man, I'd be protective of Piper, so in that sense, your gender is insignificant. What I'm grappling with is that you're not a man, which means this isn't a traditional relationship, and I was raised in a very traditional Protestant family." He glanced at both of them. "There might be a time in the distant future when I can watch the two of you…kiss, but that's not where I am right now. So I ask that you respect my position for now; let me get to know you as a person, Alex, and both of you…as a couple…and I pray that one day, I'll accept your relationship."
A tiny smile formed on both women's faces, but Alex allowed her girlfriend to speak first.
"I can live with that," Piper said. She looked at Alex. "Can you, babe?"
Alex blushed and looked at Bill. "She called me that to get a rise out of you."
Piper folded her arms. "I most certainly did not. That's what we call each other, and I'm not going to change the way we speak because of him."
"You lived with her for, what, 14 years before she went off to boarding school?" Alex asked. "Surely you know how stubborn she can be."
Bill smiled. "Just like her father."
That earned him a 100 watt Piper Chapman smile.