Dearest Father,

After being witness to the argument between Anders and Aveline, I wanted to check in with her and make sure she was alright. I'm sure she brushed it off in her usual stoic manner, but still, it couldn't have been easy to be on the receiving end of his accusations. I know that feeling all too well after he accused me of not caring about the mages in this city.

As I suspected, she was fine. More than fine. I walked in on her instructing her guard on their duties for the day, to which they sounded off proudly. The loudest voice of them all was Donnic, Aveline's new husband. He called her Captain with beaming pride, and the rare blush on Aveline's face was a treat to see. He is obviously smitten with her, and to see her happy again was wonderful.

Once the troops exited her office, I asked her how their honeymoon went. They spent three weeks in Orlais, and she hadn't said a word about it! Even after my prodding though, she wouldn't budge. The woman loves her secrets, and I suppose she's entitled to the intimate ones.

Thinking back on the day we first met, it really is astounding to see how far Aveline has come. She's always been the strong one in the group, even when faced with losing Wesley. I know he will always be in her heart, and I hope he's happy that she's been able to move on and find peace in the arms of another. Maybe this will help her forgive me for taking Wesley's life. I know she's aware it was the right thing to do, and what he asked of me, but I think some part of her still thinks he could have been saved. She has to wonder about that, because I do too. The nightmares of his death have subsided, but still haunt me after all of these years. I can't imagine what it's been like for her.

We talked briefly about the Templars, and how they've been more than a dominant presence lately within the city. Aveline insists that without a viscount they feel they can do whatever they want, so now more than ever her guard must be equally as present. She certainly has the support of the people since most just outright fear Meredith. I don't blame them.

She hinted about needing my help in the next few weeks. Of course she refused to give me any details, but knowing Aveline it could be anything. Whatever she needs, I'll be there.

"I really appreciate you doing this Hawke," Varric said as they walked down the steps leading to the alienage. "She's trapped herself in that hovel of hers for days, refusing to come out."

"Has she given you any reason as to why?" Hawke asked. "Although sometimes I think she enjoys the isolation, she was certainly used to it among her clan."

Varric shrugged. "I don't know, but that's no way for anyone to live. Daisy has a new clan now, us, and she needs to know that we notice when she's not around."

Hawke released a slow sigh. "I won't coddle her Varric, she's a grown woman. And I certainly can't strong-arm her into hanging out with us if she doesn't want to."

"But as a favor to me…" Varric began.

"I'm here, aren't I?" Hawke pointed out as she knocked on Merrill's door. She turned to Varric and gave him a brilliant smile. "See? I can pretend this is what I want to be doing today."

"I owe you one Hawke," Varric said.

Merrill opened the door and squealed Hawke's name. "More than one," Hawke muttered under her breath as the elf gestured for them to enter her home.

I never explained to Varric the real reasons I was hesitant to visit Merrill. The last time I was in the presence of the Eluvian, I swear I heard whispers coming from the ancient artifact. I didn't want to be anywhere near that thing again. I feel that whenever I'm close to it, there is some outside influence making me dislike the mage, as if my caring about her is in direct conflict with someone else's plan for me. I was hoping to avoid that feeling again, but as I write this, I can still sense an underlying disgust that I can't explain.

The other reason for avoiding her was the bond that her and Isabela had shared. I'm sure Merrill blames me for the rogue pirate running from Kirkwall. Why wouldn't she? I blame myself as well. Maybe if I had spent some more time with Isabela she wouldn't have left, or maybe returned right when I needed her to. I miss her, and I'm sure Merrill misses her too. Isabela looked out for Merrill like a big sister, and it's always hard to deal with a sibling being gone.

Merrill was a bit snippy with Varric when he suggested she go outside for a walk, maybe visit the Lowtown Market for some fresh air. She said she had too much to do, but Varric and I both knew that wasn't true. She hasn't been doing anything, cleaning her home included, so I think it was just an excuse to try and get him to stop pestering her.

That's when Varric bailed on me and left me alone with her. Not part of our deal as I recall, but I'll pay him back for his quick exit later. Merrill vented a little about Varric's persistence to me, saying how he was sweet but infuriating. I shared my own small frustrations with him as well so she didn't feel so alone in her feelings. That seemed to put her at ease a bit, though I did feel a small ounce of guilt for using him that way. I'm sure he'll forgive me considering where our conversation led.

Merrill admitted that she's been hiding because she thought she saw a ghost the other day. An old clanmate of hers, Tamlen, who had disappeared when her clan was in Ferelden. She opened up about missing her clan, her family, and my heart broke just hearing the sadness in her voice. I suggested maybe we should go visit the Keeper and the clan, but she didn't want to. She feared the Keeper would only lecture her on her past actions, and would rather miss and remember them than face being an outcast among them again.

I didn't push her any further on the subject, but I did remind her that there were people here in Kirkwall that cared about her, and she shouldn't isolate herself from us. In an effort to help take her mind off of those that are no longer around her, I invited her to the Hanged Man. Hopefully Varric can come up with something for us to do, as we all need a break from thinking about loved ones that are weighing heavily on our minds.