as always i don't own anything from marvel.
unbeta'd chapter, please bare with any errors you may find.
Chapter 33
Pepper was ecstatic about his seemingly good behaviour; she even went as far as believing that her sense of responsibility began to rub off on him. Tony figured she'd knew better, that it was just some bizarre state of denial. No sane man or woman would filly trust a tony Stark who acted well behaved, listened to others and was overall a pleasant man.
Tony slept during the day; letting nature and a healthy dose of medication heal his injuries. This way he didn't have to deal with any nagging nurse or prying doctor, they'd just let him rest peacefully. And for now, Tony decided, it was best to let them keep thinking that he did exactly that.
His nights had been spent on research, tweaking the old mark five blueprints, and calculating the limitations in the new design. After all it wasn't easy to build a harness that withstood extreme cold on both outside and inside without losing flexibility. It takes at least a genius to figure it out. Thank god he was one.
Tony smiled as he watched recent footage of his project. Jarvis had worked hard during the day, slowly all the pieces started to fall into the right place. "Estimate time till finish Jarv?" All in all considering the circumstances he'd done a good job. Not great, not by a long shot, but for it would do for the moment. The armor was too raw for Tony's liking, he longed to crawl in his workshop for a few days to fine-tune it to perfection.
Jarvis his voice rang through Tony's earpiece. "Seven hours and forty two minutes sir." The A.I. Paused a moment. "May i suggest changing the colour scheme? Hot rod red and gold do not appear to be appropriate for this attire."
Tony stopped massaging the palm of his hand and knuckles, continuously working on a small tablet was giving him a sore cramp. "Any suggestions J?" Automatically he slid past the ordinary RAL colours, all of them either to plain or boring; he could have fun with Barbie pink though. Tony was just not willing to die for the sake of a good laugh, even if it would match ridiculously well with Loki's blond hair and blue eyes.
"Lining up my suggestions based on sir Laufeysons colour preferences." Jarvis didn't need a visual to know there was a smile on his creators face, the A.I. was certain it contained hope. "Sir?"
Tony, of course, had already picked out whatever took his fancy before Jarvis presented his bland selection. However the audible tone of regret in the A.I.'s voice snapped him back to attention. "Yes" Tony said even if he didn't want to hear it, bad news wasn't welcome.
"I regret to inform you that there is no certainty that we will find his location, sir."
Tony stared at the screen with a blank expression, face paler than normal. "No... God dammit no, i know he's alive J. And I don't care under what rock there keeping him I'll get him back" The Loki he knew didn't know how to give- up, the trickster was probably making elaborate scheme's for his escape by now. He would may trick you in believing he was docile, and if he had magic, show you an illusion. But giving in..." no, he's out there."
Throwing something solid seemed to be a perfectly valid excuse to alleviate his anger right now. Tony's fingertips were already turning red from the strength used to hold his tablet. "Anything on S.H.I.E.L.D. yet?" Tony said nearly grinding S.H.I.E.L.D.'s name between his molars in an angry hiss.
"No sir." answered Jarvis and a faint blue dot started blinking in the upper left corner. One that could no longer be ignored by his creator. Or so Jarvis hoped.
Tony almost missed it, hearing nothing than the faint no sir Jarvis gave. "What's this then?" he so wished for date on Loki when he touched it, that disappointment ran deep when Tony found his own company's logo as it popped open. "What the..." After a quick scan however he realised it might not be the setback it appeared to be. "Why didn't i know this?"
"My attempts to alert you were thus far ignored, sir." Those used to the subtly changes in the A.I.'s voice could pinpoint the huff of annoyance.
Tony almost dropped the device when his body relaxed and his grapple softened. "My tech, who the hell is using this!" Not the normal kind as well, but one specialised in rerouting, deleting and breaking visual inputs of camera's. It was safely kept at home, in his secured workshop. He could count the people with the code on one hand, including Loki. "Damn spies, see what i get! Sharing my home and then they just waltz in and..."
Jarvis interrupted his creators blabbering immediately, before there was another delay on valuable information. "I would like to notify that the object in question is being used."
Tony hadn't seen it yet, his focus was lacking. How many hours had he actually rested during the day? "Locate the origin of the transmission. Show any visual on full screen." He felt like smacking his own head when he saw that it started recording ten minutes ago.
This urge grew when the data streamed in; it was a secured S.H.I.E.L.D. base. "Can you trace it to their headquarters?" Vision fixated on the screen he meticulously searched for anything leading to Loki. Yet it was like hitting a wall.
"No trace or link detected to this location. It appeared they used a separate grid, relying more on manpower than technology."
So they tried their best at keeping me out if this, I wonder why?
"Video feed found, shall i play it from the start, sir?" Jarvis suggested, strongly.
A remote location in the harbour? Not suspicious at all." you know it J. "At first he only saw a large empty room and a cage obviously meant for Bruce. Not that this simple old model could ever contain his friend if the scientist was ticked off.
Tony got another view, a close-up up of the contents in that jail. "Freeze. Only give me feedback from current camera position." A weight lifted from his heart, air filled his lungs making him feel light weighted and relieved. Tony Pushed the screen so close that it all but touched his nose, because there he was.
"Loki."
Loki vehemently despised this slow and muddled state he was in, drugged as he was, the ex-god could not do much besides rest and try to rule his muddled thoughts. Keeping his mind from wandering was one of the few remaining things that preserved him from eternal boredom, and insanity. All was made worse by the damp clothing clinging to his skin.
He sighed, whipping away a sweat drop that was slowly sliding down his forehead. Eight days and I already have a small beard. Loki shivered at the thought of how he looked; it could not be too different from the first time he took note of his renewed appearance. There was no point in fretting over facial hair though; the current circumstances would not allow it.
How Anthony would enjoy mocking me for my appearance.
For a second Loki closed his eyes and he could clearly see the brilliant smile given by the engineer, soft, honest and arrogant. Stark would make fun of his appearance, righteously so, not that Loki would tell him. He would be inclined to return with an equally witty comment, and ignite a battle of teasing words. However Those taunting smiles held meaning, and his body always reacted favourably towards them.
Loki felt lighter when Anthony really smiled at him, it felt pleasing, warm. Still, deep down his rational side continuously told him to detach himself from these feelings, for they only caused complications. So here I am, drugged and locked. All because I gave in to those fleeting emotions. No matter how hard he tried, Loki, found no regret for his actions.
He yawned involuntary, feeling himself falling into another drug induced slumber. His nightmares had returned, haunting every second of sleep, twisted images of the past and cruel vision of the future. No.
He really did not want to fall asleep.
Gold shimmering horizons for as far as the eye could reach, beauty, warmth and bright futures for all who lived there. A golden-haired mother sung a lullaby, as her two small children dozed. A soothing song filled with a mothers love, just for them. She placed a feather light kiss on both their foreheads, wishing they would grow up to be fine young men.
These children were hers, she would she love them forever.
The gold turned grey and grew cold, the night came, covering their world in darkness. Two young children waited by a fireplace for story time . Their father entered, long beard, a strict and righteous face, to tell them a tale instead of their mother. The eldest boy had insisted to hear about his father's battles.
Tales of great vicious beasts and emotionless ice-giants filled their nights now. How those Jotuns plundered the lands and devastated villages, kidnapped or even murdered innocents in cold-blood. Those monsters might be shaped as one of them, there was no warm heart beating inside their chest. No consciousness keeping them from committing such vile acts.
The vivid imagination of a young child made everything feel real, it was terrifying. However the eldest of the brothers laughed at the childish fears of the youngest, he was looking forward to sword fights and glorious battles with those creatures. His father was pleased by this lust for (battle)and gave his son a proud smile.
"Ice-giants do not really exist, do they?" Asked the youngest bravely.
"They do boy, they are as real as you and I."
Loki did not show his fear, he was brave, and those monsters could not be real. The eye of his father stared at him without kindness, piercing and calculating, knowing something hidden to him. Why couldn't their mother sing for them anymore? He preferred her voice over any of these horrific tales.
,Nightmares plagued Loki in his sleep afterwards. The other children constantly mocked him for what they perceived as weakness. And he grew bitter, disliking the presence of others his age. It wasn't hate…yet, it was merely hatreds seed rooted in the boy's tiny heart.
Monstrosities of childhood turned into a burning will to destroy the ice-giants from those old tales. Time, knowledge and rigorous training had transformed him into an intelligent, sly adult who knew how to wield a spear and throw projectiles like no other. Armed with an arsenal of deadly spells and illusions, and no man or monster could match him in speed or magical skill. However he was still different from all the others, who grew up to be strong warriors skilled in close combat. He was still mocked, and his father still stared at him with that one eye.
Cold, calculating and knowing.
Loki's smile, that of a young innocent child turned into a twisted, menacing grin. He would show them all, soon those Jotuns would be stories, nothing but stories.
Their gruesome touch burned his flesh more than it did for the warriors three and sif. They got off leniently, their flesh only scorched by the freezing touch of an ice giant. Loki's pain came from knowledge, and it would last; it wasn't a wound that could be healed.
You are nothing but an intelligent monster.
You do not belong, you never did.
You are a thing, a curiosity kept in a golden cage. Slowly the blue crept back into his pores, pale flesh returning to cover his hands. His brother left, returning to their warm house, a hearty meal and caring friends. Loki stayed behind, summer time was over, nothing but ice coved his dark world now.
The dream ice melted, baring midnight black rock formations. Gnarled sharp edges cut through the landscape; his world was being rebuilt as the ground crumbled Beneath Loki. a void of nothingness came into existence, pulling him in, beckoning him to take the final step.
You are a monster, but you could be so much more.
Yes, he did want had heard those words before, back then they had lured him into the never ending abyss below his feet. He could feel the vile breath of the Other stroking his skin as it spoke with a slimy voice. "I can give you freedom." The creature smiled and showed a row of razor sharp teeth, the Other was monstrous, just like him." We can use a man with your wits and cleverness, a man fit to rule. Do you want to."
Loki's body was moving on its own accordance. "Yes."
"No!."
The void took him.
Loki opened his eyes, breath heavy and his nightmare as clear as day. Hands clutched the blanket in death grip, nearly tearing it in two. He forced himself to relax, letting the fabric slip between his fingers. Loki calmed the myriad of emotions swirling in his core, these past days he'd gotten slightly better at it.
Truth nestled in his mind; he did not need the false sense of freedom given by others. They were all golden cages made from lies. Loki started laughing, not in sorrow or anger, but because of his own stupidity. Why had he not realised that the thing binding him all those years were words and lies? Was I really that blind?
Natasha had no trouble entering the premise of the compound were S.H.I.E.L.D. Kept Loki Imprisoned .The harbour held enough crooks and narrow corners filled with shadows for her to use. Quick, nimble movements brought her to a side entrance, were a single guard kept a watchful eye. That was before he dozed off in a dreamless slumber.
You'd only see the Natasha if she pleased it so, and by then it would be too late to call for help. Years of training in hand to hand combat and strict education made her a deadly force to be reckoned with. No sane person dared to keep the Black Widow from reaching her end goal. Alarms and cameras formed no problem as well, Stark had plenty of devices stored that could crack a code with one singular touch.
The building's layout had remained unchanged; it was still empty on the inside except for Loki's cell. Natasha made no effort to hide her presence, Loki had noticed her presence before and skill like that did not vanish overnight. Concealing her whereabouts, would grant her no advantage in this game.
Much to Natasha's surprise and amusement, she caught Loki sleeping. A small amused grin played on her red lips, breaking her stoic expression. He was so vulnerable now, so plain, just like any other normal man. She could end his life easily and not a soul would be wiser as to who did the deed.
Loki's sharp intake of breath caught her attention, the trickster moving franticly in his sleep. Nightmares? Natasha had not expected the ex-god to be bothered by any. His eyes shot open, and she carefully observed the waking man. Gradually the Loki came to his senses , his breathing calmed down, the firm hold on his covers relaxed.
Astoundingly Loki chuckled as he started waking. There was no madness in that laugh, none of the pain and hate that had seeped through before. There was understanding and hope; he whispered something so softly that even the Black Widow did not catch it.
Natasha spoke hoping to catch the trickster by surprise. "Care to share with the rest of the class Loki?" Loki flinched at the sudden intrusion of her words and for a split-second she even doubted it was truly him in that prison. The reaction she got was just so spontaneous, so typically human.
Loki was startled by her appearance and it had caused him to snap out of his wandering thoughts back to the façade of reality. "Romanoff" He tried his best to calm down, covering his mixed emotions under a blanket of indifference. "You have come to play judge, haven't you? To see if you can find any merit in the actions I performed."
Natasha concluded that this was clearly the "old" Loki speaking, a smooth alluring voice tempting you to spill answers. She could admire such a trait in her line of work." Your assumption is correct." Loki gave her a recognisable calculative look in return. He was judging her as well.
Loki smirked. "You mean to ask why I am on this forsaken planet, and not in a cell on Asgard. Well your answer is quite simplistic. Odin grew tired of his little monster, I outlived my use." He might be rid of their lies but Loki could never escape what he was, or what other had made him become. "That is what you wanted to hear is it not Romanoff?"
Natasha frowned. "Thor told us otherwise." Loki was easier to read in his current state, even if he still hid it really well. The tell-tale signs of human emotions, twitches and subtle movements gave away more than the ex-god would ever say. He really believes he is a monster.
Loki hissed in contempt at hearing Thor's name. "Ah, the golden child of Asgard. Pray tell, what did he mention." He leant against the wall for support. This conversation was draining him, each time it became harder to form coherent sentences. One way or another, he would make Fury feel his scorn for this displeasing treatment.
"You caused his banishment, selfishly wanting to rule your homeland all by yourself." Unknowingly Thor had given her all the details; once he started talking it was hard to end the stream of words. The thunder god certainly did like to tell stories. Most of these tales included adventures, battles and pranks he pulled with his companions, Loki being a constant factor in any trouble they'd run into.
Loki rolled his eyes and swung his arm backwards in defence. "And I was in my right to do so; Thor is an overgrown child craving the attention of his father. Not a man worthy of ruling. I would have brought glory to Asgard, knowledge over brutish power." He clenched his fist; his world could have been so peaceful if everything went according to his carefully planned schemes. Frustrated with either himself, his prison or the inescapable string of fate that brought him down repeatedly. Loki started pacing his cell like a caged feline.
Natasha cocked an eyebrow and followed his movements. "Correct me if I am wrong, but did you not try to wipe out a whole planet? Did you not want to do the same here." From what she found out Thor had broken a treaty by spilling blood just to satisfy his pride. Four days as a human was enough to redeemed apparently. So why was Loki's situation so different?
Loki started picking his left hand unintentionally. "The first is of no concern to you. And I see my true intentions for Midgard already have been twisted by the words of others." He doubted he ever really wanted to rule this miserable place. It was just another lie fed to him by The Other, his actions on Earth only fuelled by the fresh wound of finding out his despicable ancestry.
The Black widow caught his strange action, a typical nervous tic commonly caused by trauma. Dot's connected lightning fast, Loki was adopted, he is from a different world than Thor. Curiosity caused her to ask something she immediately regretted. "If you're not an Asgardian, then what are you?"
Loki froze and looked at her with pure malice marring his features. "A monster." Those poisonous words stung , what are you, not who or from where. No, just a straightforward what. A thing instead of a person, that's all he ever was to others.
Only his engineer had treated him differently. Anthony had tried to reason with, what he believed to be a madman, while others chose to pick up arms without thinking. Anthony had never showed fear as others did at the mere sight of his blue skin, instead those wonderful brown eyes had shown him intense curiosity and desire. Loki knew something inescapable had nestled inside him that moment in the rain.
She had made a mistake, a rookie mistake that could have cost her life in any other situation. Once, Thor had told her a children's tale, about Ice-giants . Enormous and ruthless humanoid beings, cold as ice no heart beating in their chest. To her and the other Avengers it has been just a story, a myth. For Thor and Loki Bilgesnipes, giants and otherworldly creatures were an everyday reality. Small for a giant.
The temperature started to feel like a stern Russian winter, even she felt the cold chilling her to the bone. Loki looked up at her, violent red started to bleed in his eyes foreboding the change of his body. A defence mechanism? Interesting.
What kind of man made his child grow up like that, believing his origins to be the purest of evil ?
Natasha looked to him, something akin to pity in her eyes. "Monsters don't save lives." Honestly, she didn't believe her words could soothe the enmity flowing in Loki. She could not blame him for the rage he felt. Who knows what devastation she could have sowed in his stead.
Loki loathed the way Romanoff got under his skin witch such ridiculous easy. What aggravated him further was that he could not detect falseness in her words. Did that daft wench really believe the nonsense she uttered? He wasn't anything but a monstrosity.
He barely maintained his footing due to his drugged state, still he managed to lash out towards The Black Widow. "Get out of my sight." Antagonised by her presence he wanted her out this instant. He bellowed aggressively gesturing towards the exit with his arm. "NOW."
Natasha left the premise of the building, as silent as she came. There was no calming down the furious ex-god, at least not for now. She had made her judgement, and further prodding for answers would only cause more harm. Yet her visit wasn't without cause, even if Loki hadn't noticed the change in the air yet. The drug meant to keep Loki calm and docile was gone, the air was clean, the water pure. It was up to Loki now to prove to himself he wasn't a monster.
The camera above her head followed her movements too thoroughly for it to be a coincidence There was no alarm nor agents running in, just a watchful eye. " Stark." Natasha said with a knowing smile, well aware that there could be just one man watching this instant.
Tony was certain that Natasha knew he'd watched along. She would have never looked directly into the camera otherwise. It couldn't just be that she all of a sudden the Black Widow had aided Loki in a possible escape. Not without a reason, nobody did anything for Tony voluntarily. Just Pepper and Rodey but they were his friends… And that was it, all of them, they weren't just a team, along the way they'd become friends.
"Loki's right isn't he. I am a fool." Tony huffed with a laugh.
"I'm positive there's truth in those words, sir." Noted Jarvis with an air of certainty.
Tony smiled at the polite, i told you so. "Nothing good ever comes from an A.I.'s attempt to turn against their masters."
"According to my research most artificial intelligence proves to be rather efficient in overthrowing and ruling the human race" Jarvis stared in a calculated voice, pausing a second before continuing. "I assure you however, that taking care of you sir. Is keeping me occupied."
Tony rolled his eyes and started typing a message rapidly." I've made you too smart for your own good." He hoped the man was awake enough to hear the... forget it. The only assurance would be to get bob on the phone directly. "Jarvis dial Bob for me will you?"
After ringtone sounded a few time Tony started to grow worried and mumbled to himself. " Pick up, pick up…"His free hand was tapping on the metal bars of the hospital bed when Tony finally heard the click he waited for. . Years of bothering Pepper after midnight had definitely thought him people didn't agree to be woken up at three in the morning. Wisely he had the good sense to hold the phone at least a good five centimetres from his ear.
"STARK ARE YOU NUTS! Do you have any idea what time it is! "It was clear from the annoyed tone in Bob's voice that he had been sleeping soundly before the call.
In his defence, yes Tony was perfectly aware of the hour, he just didn't care. Neither would Bob, Tony guessed, once he heard his reasons. "Time for the wicked to play." Grinned Tony. "I need a ride. And something decent to wear." Tony doubted that his current state of dress would leave the impression he wanted.
Bob grunted. "I'm not your driver, or your assistant Stark. Learn to take care of yer own will ya."
Tony promptly interrupted Bob before he had any change to further speak his mind on the subject. "I know, my real driver would tell Pepper if i sneaked out the hospital. And that, my friend, is where you come in." On the other side of the line came a heavy, annoyed sigh, however any immediate repartee stayed out.
"I found him Bob, and i intend to bring him back. So yeah…get your ass down here as soon as possible." Tony's brain was overheating with all the things he'd needed to prepare in order to set things right. Not just having Loki back, but having Loki back for good.
Hurried shuffeling sounds in the background, either bed sheets thrown off with haste or pants pulled on, alerted him that bob was on the move. Tony heard a loud thumb accompanied by swearwords that would make a tough sailor blush. He could depict what happened from picking out the word toe in the stream of obscenities.
Bob still managed to form a reply before the connection severed. "See ya in an hour."
Tony pulled out the IV drip, it wasn't as if he really needed it any longer, God knows why the wanted to keep him on the damn thing. The monitor had already been rerouted in case of unpredictable emergencies. Nobody in or out the hospital would be wiser, Tony would be long gone by the time anybody did. Slowly, yet with renewed strength he slid out of the bed. Using the wall as extra support tony stood straight and stepped forward. "I'm taking a quick shower, let me know if anything changes Jarvis."
He was going to wear a different kind or armor today. One he was well acquainted with. Tony didn't need his repulsors to bring down S.H.I.E.L.D. or for that matter, anybody opposing him, if he had to.
Tony would make Fury regret ever imprisoning the man he loved.