Castiel brooded for the next two weeks, ignoring Gabriel, Balthazar and Anna's attempts to cheer him up, instead throwing himself into the store. After all, it had worked during the divorce (kind of) so perhaps it would work this time (it didn't).

A few days after the surprise visit from Dean's not so ex girlfriend, he was putting in an order for more copies of the latest teen heartthrob/vampire/zombie/dystopian novella, when the bell tinkled and he trudged out into the store proper.

The sound of a lighter flicking to life sounded in the otherwise empty store.

"Hey there Clarence, heard you banged a movie star."

Meg pulled long and hard on the cigarette and regarded him through dark eyeliner and a haze of smoke.

Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Will you please put that out." He said in exasperation, Meg was the last person he wanted to see or deal with, ever. "Not only is it illegal to smoke inside a retail establishment but this is a fucking bookstore."

She smirked and stalked forward, dropping the still smoking butt into the cold cup of coffee from that morning.

"Well well, look who developed a vocabulary."

She leaned against the counter, pushing her breasts together between her folded arms. Cas ignored them.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, not trying in the slightest to mask the aggression in his voice.

"What? I can't check up on an old friend in a time of need? What kind of monster do you take me for?"

"A demon." He deadpanned.

She smiled sardonically.

"Seriously though is it true? Did you do the nasty with the sweet piece of ass that is Dean Winchester?"

"How did you even—? Never mind I don't even have to ask—"

"Balthazar."

"Yes I know, of course it was Balthazar."

"Then why did you ask?"

Cas exhaled loudly and threw his head back.

"Look, will you please just leave."

She was silent and Cas couldn't help but glance over to see her regarding him.

"What?" He snapped.

"Did you do it?"

He stared at her a moment.

"No."

She narrowed her eyes.

"But you did make out a little."

His face must have given him away because her's split into a grin and she cackled.

"Way to go Clarence. I always knew you had it in you."

He sighed and scrubbed his hands down his face, fingers scratching over the growth of beard that he had failed to shave off in the past five days.

"So?"

He looked back.

"So what?"

"Was it everything you'd imagined it would be?"

He slumped onto the stool.

"It was perfect." He murmured, remembering the feel of his lips and the touch of his hands, the way they had grabbed at him, so full of need, like he actually wanted Cas, yearned for him. Cas had never felt that kind of desire, not from Amelia, not from…Dean had made Cas feel wanted for a short moment in his wholly unremarkable life and now that it was gone all he could think about was those lips—

"Did you touch it?"

Meg's low voice startled him out of his thoughts and he frowned.

"What?"

"Did you touch it?"

"Jesus Christ Meg." He admonished, standing and moving around the counter. "Will you please leave?"

"What? I'm just asking." She protested as he steered her towards the door.

"I'm not doing this with you right now." He growled.

She turned just as they reached the door and stared up at him, face momentarily free of any sarcasm or attitude.

"Seriously Castiel, I'm sorry. You're a good guy and you don't deserve to be hurt like that."

Cas started and frown.

"What it this? What's going on? Why are you being nice?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on Clarence, I am a human being you know. I'm capable of emotion." She grabbed the handle and pulled. The bell tinkled. "Oh!" She turned once more, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it, "And if you're feeling lonely and want to have a…relapse, just let me know."

And with that she winked, shoved a pair of sunglasses over her heavily made up eyes, and sauntered off down the street.

Cas let the door fall closed and ripped the stupid bell down.

…

"So he's still with her?"

Cas was hiding out at Charlie's apartment, not trusting himself around Balthazar for spilling the story to Meg.

"I don't know. He seemed very surprised when she showed up."

"But was he happy to see her?" She asked, digging her spoon into the quickly melting tub of ice cream she had produced when he'd shown up on her doorstep.

Cas shrugged, "I don't know…not really I guess."

"Well then maybe the magazines were right. Maybe they did break up and she couldn't accept it."

"But they have a child together Charlie. That's got to count for something."

Charlie shrugged and tipped some more Kaluah into the ice cream.

"You had a child with Amelia." She pointed out.

"That's different." He contended, "Besides, I told you they kissed."

"No, you told me she kissed him. Kissing does not equate sexual attraction. You and I both know that." She swallowed a mouthful of half melted, coffee flavoured rocky road and sighed, "All too well."

Cas rolled his eyes at his sister's dramatics.

"Look Charlie, whatever the story was, it's over. Dean's gone back to LA and I'm here, like I always am, and maybe in a few years I'll get a cat or twelve and that will be that."

Charlie looked at him with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry bro." She said softly, "This sucks."

Grabbing the ice cream and setting it on the coffee table, she leaned over and buried her face into his shoulder, snaking her arms around him and squeezing as hard as she could. Cas smiled and squeezed back.

…

He caught the news when he was on his way to work. Castiel didn't normally put too much stock in the magazines that lined the racks of the newsstands at the best of times but he did a double-take when he saw the covers and bought one of each.

Five different issues, all with the same grainy photos of a disturbingly young, mostly naked Dean Winchester staring out at him and variations on the headline:

LEAKED PHOTOS SHOW STEAMY SIDE OF DREAMY WINCHESTER.

Cas poured over them in his office, wondering where the photos had come from. They were clearly taken years ago, certainly before Dean had achieved his current level of fame. Perhaps it had been an early job he had felt he couldn't say no to. Perhaps he had done it for the money. Cas' stomach clenched at the thought that he might have been coerced and even violated. The vacant stare held none of the life and vibrancy he was used to seeing. Instead they looked cold, cut off, empty.

He shut the magazine and shoved the lot of them into the recycling bin. He had no business looking at those photos no matter what the rags printed. Dean was gone from his life. He wouldn't be coming back.

The doorbell went just as he was shoving one of Anna's defrosted lasagnas in the oven and he strode over to answer it, figuring it would be one of his siblings or possibly a friend of Balthazar's. What he did not expect was a timid Dean Winchester in shades standing on his front stoop.

Cas started, mind going blank as he tried to take in the reappearance of the man.

"Hi." Dean said quietly, lifting his hand in greeting before letting it drop and hang.

"Hey." Cas answered.

Their monosyllabic exchange hung awkwardly in the air between them.

"Uh, can I…can I come in?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded and stepped back, shutting the door behind him.

"I'm just making dinner." He said, "You're welcome to stay and have some. Don't worry, Anna made it." He chuckled lamely, hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.

"Thanks." Dean nodded, pulling off his glasses and fiddling with them. "Sorry, for showing up like this. I just…there're reporters at the hotel and I…"

"It's all right." Cas interrupted. "Come inside."

…

"So, you saw the photos I take it."

They were well into their meal and neither one had spoken until Dean finally broke the ice. Cas looked up from his food to see Dean stabbing at his mostly uneaten lasagna with his fork. Having seen for himself Dean's nearly insatiable appetite, Castiel was a little concerned about his apparent lack of hunger.

"Uh, yeah. I saw them."

Dean nodded, not lifting his gaze from his plate.

"How old were you?"

That caught his attention. He looked up with a frown.

"What?"

"You looked quite young, in the pictures I mean." Cas explained, "I was just wondering how old you were."

Dean stared at him a beat before returning his gaze to his uneaten food.

"Seventeen. We were in Tucson. Holed up in this flea-ridden motel more than a week longer than we'd planned because Dad went off and didn't come back. He'd left a few messages about how he was waiting to hear back from this job in Phoenix and how we were supposed to just sit tight. But meanwhile Sammy was hungry and the rent needed to be payed so I went out to find some money."

"How did you normally find money?" Cas asked softly.

Dean shrugged.

"Hustling pool, credit card fraud, If worst comes to worst, food can always be stolen so money is freed up for rent, but when there's no money…" He sighed, "There was this guy. Told me I was too pretty to be in a place like that. Said he'd pay me good money if he could take pictures of me. I said yes."

Cas nodded, trying to digest the information.

"Did he do anything else to you?"

Dean's jaw clenched but he shook his head.

"No. Just the pictures." He rubbed a hand over his hair and his eyes and sniffed, "No one was ever supposed to see them."

His breath hitched and he squeezed his eyes shut. Castiel reached out a hand and rested it on Dean's arm, hoping he could provide at least a small bit of comfort.

"I'm sorry."

Dean chuckled.

"Not your fault. I've always been a fuck up. It was just a matter of time before the rest of the world realized."

The opening strains of Back in Black sounded from Dean's pocket and he sat back, pulling his phone out and frowning at the caller ID.

"Who is it?" Cas asked.

"It's my brother." He tapped the phone and held it to his ear, "Hey Sam…Yeah, I'm fine…No, it's all right…No I'm at a friend's place….Just a friend….You don't know him….What? why are you?….You don't have to it's fine…yeah all right." He dropped the phone to his chest and looked over at Cas, "What's the address here?" Cas frowned but rattled it off and Dean relayed the information down the line. "Yeah okay…okay, see you soon." He ended the call and stared down at the phone. "Sam's in town. He's coming over."

"What's he doing in Chicago?"

"Business. Apparently the law firm he's with in San Francisco has a branch here."

He stood, moving over to the counter while his hands fidgeted in a restless, anxious movement. Cas stood as well, moving in close and reaching to take one of the hands in his own, interlacing the fingers and squeezing.

Dean looked at them and then up at Cas.

"I'm sorry." He said apologetically, his eyes tired and remorseful, "For Lisa and Ben. For how I acted, or didn't act."

Cas shrugged.

"It's all right. You seemed pretty shocked."

"No, it's not all right." He countered, "I should have at least acknowledged you."

"It was my lie Dean." Cas explained.

"Yeah, and it was me you felt you had to lie for." He brought up his free hand to rub at his eyes, "I swear, I didn't expect her to show up. The last time we talked, I though we'd broken up. Turns out I was wrong. She flew out to try to make things right."

"She seems like nice person."

Dean chucked, "Yeah, she is. And she's a great mother." The hand on his face traveled up to his hair and tugged at it, "Oh god." He moaned, "The whole thing was just..."

"Really bad timing?"

Dean laughed again and looked up at Cas.

"Yeah, really, really bad timing. And a big heaping dose of my idiocy as well."

Cas smiled and dropped his gaze to the hand still wrapped up in his own.

"It was a little anticlimactic walking out of the hotel."

Dean shut his eyes and shook his head.

"Shit, sorry Cas, seriously. I should have just told her the truth."

"Are you out to her?"

"No, but at least the night wouldn't have ended with you in the elevator carrying a stack of my dirty dishes."

"You can make it up to me by cleaning up. But first you should eat. Seriously, it's really good."

Dean ate a few bites and was up to his elbows in foamy water while Cas dried when the doorbell rang.

Dean looked like he wanted to throw up.

Cas rested a reassuring hand on his back as passed, moving to the door and gripping the brass knob. He opened the door to a man with a kind face and hair that seemed too long for a lawyer and who towered at least five inches over Castiel.

"Hi." He smiled tentatively, "I'm Sam, Sam Winchester."

"Castiel."

They shook hands and then Sam's grip went lax as his gaze refocused on something over Castiel's shoulder. He looked around and saw Dean hovering in the divide between the living room and the entryway.

"Hey Dean." He said softly, expression guarded.

Cas stepped backwards slowly as the brothers continued to stare at each other, feeling more and more like a third wheel as the tension in the room increased.

"Hey Sammy."

Sam's eye twitched and Castiel guessed that, like 'Cassie', 'Sammy' was not a nickname he appreciated from his older brother. But nevertheless, he nodded and stepped forward and Castiel was witness to the most uncomfortable hug between two brothers since he'd last seen Gabriel and Lucifer in the same room together.

"Can I get you anything to drink Sam? Water or beer?"

Once they were settled in the living room, drinks in hand, silence prevailed until Sam cleared his throat and sat forward in his chair.

"So...the pictures."

Dean pursed his lips and looked as though he might not answer before he nodded, "The pictures."

He looked up and Sam raised his eyebrows for him to continue.

Dean sighed.

"Look. It was a long time ago and we needed the money."

"Wait," Sam interrupted, "when were they taken?"

"'96."

"What?!"

"Sam-"

"You were seventeen!"

"Sam!"

"What?!"

Dean waited until Sam's breathing had calmed somewhat before continuing.

"Dad was gone longer than planned. We needed money."

"Then why didn't you just call him and ask for more?"

"You know damn well why Sam. Besides, he was looking for work."

"That's bullshit and you know it, he was in a bar drinking it away every night. You always do this! You always defend him!"

"I'm not defending him Sam!"

"Sure you are! You're always justifying his actions! You've never been able to accept that he was just a terrible parent!"

"He did his best!"

"Well it wasn't good enough! We shouldn't have had to grow up that way Dean! Constantly moving! Never knowing where our next meal was coming from! Never knowing when or if dad was going to come home! That's not normal Dean!"

"Oh! And running away first chance you get and cutting all ties with you family is?! That's what you wanted right? To get away? Well congratulations, you did! So what are you even doing here? Why don't you go back to your perfect wife and your perfect, normal little life! I didn't ask you to come here, so why don't you just go!" And with that, like a petulant child, Dean stood and stormed out of the room leaving a fuming Sam and a stunned Cas behind.