Sorry this is so late, I was a little blocked on this chapter so I went and wrote some other stuff instead. But here we are. Hope you like :)
...
Sam sighed and leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees and dragging his hands down his face. He looked up at Castiel.
"Sorry about that."
Cas shook his head, "It's okay, I've witnessed my fair share of family blow ups. Been the cause of a few too."
Sam laughed humourlessly, his hand rubbing at his mouth and chin in a distressed manner. Castiel sighed.
"Look Sam, I don't know you and, to be honest, I don't know Dean that well either, so I'm not going to presume to know or understand your past, but from how Dean talks about you, he really cares for you. And I know that he regrets how things ended between you two."
Sam frowned, "How much has he told you?"
"Not much," Castiel shrugged, "just about how your mom died and how you guys grew up and what happened when you left for Stanford."
Sam's eyebrows rose in surprise.
"Seriously?"
Cas nodded, "yeah."
"Wow."
"What?"
Sam shook his head, "Nothing. Just, I don't think even Lisa knows that much."
Cas frowned, wondering what to make of that piece of information. Sam ran a hand through his hair.
"It's not that I don't want to have a good relationship with Dean, it's just…I get so angry whenever I talk to him. I love him but he drives me up the wall."
"Why is that?"
"I just keep thinking about all the times he hasn't been there you know? My graduation, my wedding. And I know it's my fault. He's right I cut ties. I just couldn't see any other way to get out you know? I just…I guess I just wish Dean could have come too. But instead he stayed. He made his choice."
"I imagine you feel betrayed by Dean, but I know for a fact that he regrets not siding with you."
Sam frowned. "He said that?"
"Yes."
"Then why didn't he?" He asked bitterly, and with more than an ounce of hurt in his voice.
Cas sighed.
"Sam you're a lawyer."
The younger Winchester frowned and answered hesitantly. "Yes."
"If you were defending an abuse victim in a case would you ask them why they didn't stand up for themselves or leave sooner?"
"Dad never abused us." Sam said, colour rising in his cheeks at the suggestion, "I mean he was pretty deadbeat but he never-"
"What? Hit you? You think that's the only thing that constitutes abuse? Dean was in charge of your well being from an absurdly early age. Maybe the only way he could see to do that was to knuckle under. Maybe he didn't see that there was a choice."
Sam sat in thoughtful contemplation.
"You sure you don't know my brother very well?" He asked with a wry smile.
Castiel's cheeks coloured and he ducked his head.
"Just talk to him. I've got two brothers who refuse to have anything to do with me. If you've got a chance to make things right with Dean, take it."
Sam said nothing. Just sat mulling it over.
"Do you want to make things right?"
Sam swallowed hard. "Yeah. I miss him." He stood, smiling, "Thanks Castiel."
He turned, making his way back to the kitchen where Dean had disappeared to. Cas sat back in his chair, hoping his unsolicited advice wouldn't make things worse.
...
The two brothers emerged forty five minutes later looking haggard and tired, but happy, or at least not like they were ready to rip each other's heads off.
Dean glanced up and his lips quirked up in a smile when he locked eyes with Cas.
"Well," Sam said as he came around to stand beside his brother, "I gotta go. It was good seeing you Dean. Really good."
Dean rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and nodded. "It was good to see you too."
"You should stop by while we're both still in town. Jess would love to see you." He turned to Castiel, "You're welcome to come too of course."
Cas blinked but nodded.
"Oh, thank you, thank you very much."
"Sure, sounds good." Dean agreed.
They paused and then Dean moved forward and pulled Sam into a tight hug. Cas watched his eyes squeeze shut, saw the sinews in his forearms stand out from the strength with which he held his brother. It was all over in a matter of seconds, ending with a manly clap on the back but Cas could see the hope in Sam's eyes and the tension drain out of Dean's face and shoulders.
"Well, I'll see you around." Sam turned and looked like he was debating whether or not to hug Cas before he held his hand out and Cas took it. "It was nice to meet you."
Cas nodded.
"You too."
"Bye Sammy."
The door shut behind the giant moose of a Winchester and Cas flipped the lock and turned to Dean.
"How did it go?"
Dean sighed and shrugged.
"Good. It went good." He rubbed a hand through his hair, "It was nice to see him again."
Cas nodded.
"Well…" He trailed off, not sure where they were supposed to go from there. Was Dean going to stay the night? Should he offer him the couch or his own bed? Was Dean expecting more? Could Castiel facilitate the actions that might lead to more?
He crossed his arms, suddenly uncomfortable in the wake of Sam's departure and the silence that had settled heavily around them.
What did people usually do after reconnecting with their estranged sibling? Or dinner?
"Do you want to watch a movie?"
"You got Die Hard?"
As it turned out, Balthazar owned Die Hard. Also, Castiel had never seen it, a nugget of information that had Dean nearly incoherent with dismay.
"Excuse me?"
"What?"
"You've never seen Die Hard. You've never seen, Die Hard."
Castiel shrugged.
"Should I have?"
Dean coughed out a laugh.
"Sit down." He ordered, dropping the disc onto the tray and nudging it in, picking up the remote and switching the TV on as he backed his way up to the sofa.
Dean watched the movie.
Castiel watched Dean.
It was mesmerizing to see the worry and tension that had sat like a veil over him all evening, lift as the movie played; his smile brightened, his eyes sparkled, a childish glee coming out that made Cas feel like he was seeing Dean as a kid watching it for the first time.
…
The movie ended and Castiel agreed that it was pretty good, what little he remembered of it considering he'd spent the majority of it focused on how close Dean was to him on what was a relatively large couch and what exactly that proximity meant.
Dean sat back against the cushions and rubbed at his eyes.
"Jesus, what a day." He let his hands fall to his lap and blinked tiredly.
Cas checked his watch.
"It is getting late. And I have no idea if Balthazar will be back tonight so you're welcome to take his bed."
Dean nodded in consideration.
"Where is your roommate anyway?"
"I have no clue."
"Party animal?"
Cas snorted. "You have no idea. He could be anywhere. For all I know he hopped a private plane and is in LA right now. Or New York. Or Rome."
"Seriously?"
Cas nodded. "He's been know to disappear for days only to stagger in with some supermodel on his arm fresh off the catwalk in Milan."
"How'd you even end up meeting this guy?"
"Through a mutual friend. Besides, I needed somewhere to live and this place is convenient for work. Plus, Balthazar gave me a good deal on the rent."
"Why?"
"Because his family owns this block."
Dean's eyebrows rose, "What?"
"And several other buildings around town. And a castle in Scotland."
Dean let out a low whistle, "And here I was thinking I was rolling in it."
Cas hummed.
"So what are the chances of him coming back tonight."
"Not likely." Cas shrugged, "Then again, there's really no telling with him.
Dean hmmmed. "So we've got the place to ourselves?"
The silence grew heavy under Dean suggestive words and Cas looked over, licking his lips as Dean stared back.
"Only if you want to of course."
Cas nodded, mouth going dry as his heart rate picked up.
"Yeah." He breathed.
"Yeah?" Dean grinned, sliding across the sofa and crowding into Castiel's space.
"Yeah." Cas nodded, leaning in and capturing Dean's lips with his own.
They kissed and it was like how that first night on the boardwalk should have ended. Excitement and adrenaline sent blood pumping through his body and Cas ran his hand up Dean's arm to his shoulder, fingers skimming over strong muscle and smooth skin.
They broke apart gasping and Dean looked at him, green eyes nearly black with pleasure.
"Cas," He breathed, "Can I ask you something?"
Castiel nodded.
"Is this your first time? With a guy?"
Cas blushed and ducked his head, nodding.
"Hey." He felt a gentle hand on his cheek and he relented when Dean nudged him to look back up. "It's okay."
"It's just…I haven't…I never…" He huffed out a laugh, "It's more than a little pathetic waiting until your mid thirties to come out to your wife and child. Starting over at that age…trying to navigate your way through a world that is more than a little preoccupied with sex when you know little to nothing about it…does not make for a successful time."
Dean stared at him for a long moment before quirking a smile and leaning in to capture Castiel's lips once more.
"It's all right." He murmured against his lips, "Just say the word and I'll stop okay?"
Cas nodded and moved in to kiss him again when Dean pulled back and stared into his eyes.
"Seriously. Anything feels wrong. Anything at all. We stop. Understand?"
Cas smiled, Dean's words filling him with warmth, and he nodded.
"I understand."
Dean smiled. "Good."
They kissed.
He leaned back, pulling Dean on top of him, threading fingers through close cropped hair and grabbing fistfuls of Dean's soft T-shirt as the kiss deepened. Dean slotted his leg between Castiel's, thigh rubbing up against Cas and he gasped into his mouth, hips bucking of their own accord. Somewhere along the way Dean's tongue slipped into his mouth and Cas responded in kind, pulling Dean flush against his chest as the kisses deepened further. Dean broke away and began trailing kisses along his jawline, nipping at his pulse point and sucking a hickey along his clavicle. Cas moaned as Dean pulled his shirt free from his pants, brushing his nails along his hip bones and up his chest and skimming his fingers experimentally across his nipples. Cas mewled and Dean smiled against his neck, tweaking and rubbing at them before sitting up and staring down at Cas through wide blown pupils.
He straddled Cas' hips and settled there, grinding slowly against him. Cas grabbed for the hem of Dean's shirt, pulling it up and Dean complied, letting it fall to the side, forgotten. Cas stared in reverence at the expanse of well toned torso that towered above him and ran his hand along the tanned skin, tracing the lines of his hips that dipped down below his waistline and through the soft trail of hair that lead southwards.
Dean hummed and rolled his hips forwards, reaching down and thumbing open Castiel's shirt buttons one by one until he reached the bottom and pushed it back, staring down with open admiration before leaning down and taking one of his nipples into his mouth.
Cas gasped at the hot, wet contact, throwing his head back into the couch cushions as Dean sucked and swirled and lapped at the sensitive spot, brushing his thumb over the other one as he did so before switching over. Cas writhed, lost in the sensation as he threaded his fingers through Dean's hair.
"Dean." The name slipped out in a whisper and Dean hummed, smiling against his skin as he continued his ministrations. He tweaked the other sensitized nipple and Cas moaned, bucking up against him, "Deeeean."
And then Dean's lips were on his and Cas reached down, fumbling with the fly of Dean's jeans until it was open, and grasped Dean, marvelling in the feel of him and wondering at the reaction it sparked as Dean moaned, eyes squeezing shut and fingers clenching at his arm and shoulder. Cas pumped experimentally, trying to replicate the things he enjoyed and hoping he was doing it right. Based on the sounds Dean was making, Cas was going to go with yes.
Dean reached down as Cas continued and flicked open Castiel's own pants freeing him and then he took both of them in hand, leaving Cas to grab whatever was handy - mainly the couch cushions and Dean - as he rode the ever cresting wave of ecstasy. He looked up at Dean whose eyes were closed in concentration and he lifted his hand, thumb brushing across a flushed cheek as he threaded his fingers though the short hair at his temple. Dean's eyes fluttered open and they locked gazes.
"You still okay?" He gasped, his strokes moving faster and faster as they grew closer and closer to their peak.
Cas nodded and gasped and his body seized, the buildup bursting from him as he came. He vaguely registered something cold and wet spurting out over his stomach as his brain stutter to a halt and the next thing he knew he had sunk boneless into the couch cushions and Dean was a dead weight on him, sticky with sweat, and panting. He shifted and let his face rest in the crook of Castiel's neck as they caught their breath.
Cas basked in what had just happened. The feelings, the sensation, the ultimate sense of how right it had felt, how real.
He thought back to his previous experiences of sex and laughed.
"What?" Dean asked, face still pressed to Cas' neck.
"Nothing." He whispered, still breathless, "Just, not that I was unsure before, but, after that…I'm definitely gay."
Dean chuckled and raised his head, propping himself up on the elbow that was sandwiched between Cas and the back of the couch.
"It was that good huh?" He asked with a smirk that held within it a degree of uncertainty that Castiel almost couldn't believe.
"That was the best sexual experience of my life. Although to be perfectly honest, none of the other ones were particularly pleasant."
"Why not?" Dean asked with a frown.
Cas shrugged, averting his gaze and picking at a loose thread on the couch.
"I always expected things with Amelia to get better you know? Not that we had sex all that often but I always told myself 'oh, were getting to know each other' or 'I just don't feel very well' or 'Oh I'm just tired from work'. And then after Claire was born, we just sort of stopped doing it and every so often when things…built up, I'd instigate something or she would, but growing up the way we did never really prepared us for actual sexual intercourse. Sex ed in Catholicism is it's a sin unless it's between a married man and woman for the purpose of procreation and that's all we had to work with. When I came out to Amelia, one of the first things she asked me was if I had slept with a man and when I told her I hadn't she acted as though that wasn't proof enough; as though I couldn't be gay until I'd actually...done the deed. It didn't matter to her that every time we had sex I had to think of…well, you, to get me through it."
"Really? You though of me?" He asked with a soft grin.
Cas raised an eyebrow.
"Are you kidding me? That topless scene in Lazurus? That kept me up many nights."
Dean chuckled and ran a hand along Cas's exposed ribcage.
"But it was good?" Dean asked softly, look down a him through long eyelashes.
Cas caught his hand and squeezed.
"It was pretty much perfect."
…
"Come on."
They'd lain for a while longer in their post coital bliss, not saying anything, just basking in the afterglow. And then the mess cooling between them became too much for Castiel and he stood to retrieve a damp cloth from the downstairs powder room before offering his hand to Dean, intending to take them upstairs to his bedroom.
Instead he tugged back, pulling Cas towards him and interlacing their fingers, bringing his other hand up to cup his cheek and pull him in. The kiss was sweet, lacking in the heat of the kisses from before, but somehow more intimate, more meaningful here in the quiet, dark living room, streetlights shining through the translucent curtains and illuminating the space in a soft orange glow.
They broke apart and stood close, noses touching, breathing in each other's air. It only lasted a moment before they parted and moved upstairs, but somehow Cas learned more of Dean in that few seconds than he had learned about Amelia in two decades of courtship and marriage.
Cas leant Dean some sweats and a toothbrush fresh out of the packet before they lay down, the stress and drama and excitement of the day stealing any energy they may have had to do anything further than kiss before Cas nudged Dean to roll over and pulled him in, wishing he could take away the pain he'd seen in his eyes when he had first shown up there that evening and contenting himself with knowing that at least he could hold him while he slept.