A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie or Ghastly. Prolix is my OC though. Sorry for the long gap but it took that long to find a reader who liked him. So thanks to my mysterious Guest for asking. This might not be fluffy I guess, but nobody else likes the poor man. The rest of you can skip the chapter, I guess. Oh, and his backstory is that Skulduggery thought he was dead until several years ago, then wished he was dead since Prolix talks rings around him.

999

Skulduggery Pleasant opened his front door and stared at his caller in mute horror. Prolix Loquacious stood before him trembling, badly burned and smelling of smoke. Prolix threw his arms around Skulduggery and buried his head in his neck. Skulduggery flashed back to the fire that had taken his family's life, that he thought had taken Prolix as well and his heart melted. He wrapped his arms around his brother, not sure of what else to do.

"I'm so sorry to show up unannounced, brother, really, I am. I know you said you'd kill me if I ever showed up at your house, but I thought you were joking. Or maybe not, but maybe you should, since I'm here. But bad men attacked me and burnt down my cabin, and I didn't know where else to go. Maybe I should leave. That's it I should leave. But you're my big brother and I thought you could help me, like in the movie, Brother Bear. All I want is for my brother to love me and protect me like he used to." Prolix wept then, still clinging to his older brother, and Skulduggery led him gently inside, making sure the door was locked behind them.

His brother wasn't suited to fighting, never had been. Not that he wasn't brave, Skulduggery reminded himself, Prolix, had, after all been willing to die when he ran into the burning building to save Valkyrie. Skulduggery gently set his brother down and would have risen for coffee for him, but Prolix clung to him, terrified. "Who did this to you, can you describe them to us?" Skulduggery asked gently.

Prolix sat up and looked at him in wonder. "You want a description, like in an investigation? I get to help? Well, this is so exciting, Skulduggery! It will be almost as good as working with you and Valkyrie." Prolix turned and flashed a smile at Valkyrie who had come with healing waters and was tending him.

"Hello, Val. That feels wonderful. My powers won't work on me so I know I look bad, but we still are friends right?" He grinned hugely at her smile. "That's wonderful because you'll always be my friend and really pretty even if you get burned to a crisp. Oh, dear, I'm so sorry, Skulduggery. I didn't mean to imply there's anything wrong with getting burnt, you're still very handsome. Valkyrie thinks so or she wouldn't have married you, don't you, Val? I saved the invitation, by the way. Lovely paper. Now where was I? Right, a description."

Prolix fell silent for a long time, clearly thinking. Skulduggery took away the waters from Valkyrie and returned with coffee to find Prolix still silent. That frightened him. Prolix never went more than five minutes without talking.

"Prolix, are you all right?" He asked, handing his brother coffee. Prolix shrugged and Valkyrie got him a blanket then had him sit near the fireplace it was summer but she still switched it on.

"He's in shock." She said, stroking Prolix's head like she would with a child. She sat on the arm of the chair, murmuring soothing words to him. "Come on, Prolix, you can do this. What do you remember?" She gently urged. Prolix looked at her sadly.

"Nothing, dear sister, because you are a sister to me now, is that all right? Wonderful! I'm trying but nothing is coming to me. I remember the last time Skulduggery held me though. We were all of eleven or twelve, the age you were when he rescued you. He's always been a hero, my brother. Even then. Our whole family was going to the fair, well, we were until I got sick. It was just a cold but I couldn't travel and Ireland was a rough place then. Rougher than now, or maybe not." His voice was quiet and they both listened, letting Prolix talk.

"I thought I'd ruined everything, but Skulduggery insisted he could stay with me, and well, back then boys our age could sometimes fight in wars, so well, our family agreed and we were alone that night. The nights were so dark then, Val! So scary, we had a peat fire but they don't make light like that electric one does. Anyhow a terrible storm came, with thunder. I was terrified. Do you remember, brother?"

Skulduggery nodded and Prolix continued. "I was so frightened, Valkyrie. I wanted to run right out into the storm to find a place to hide, that's how scared I was. But Skulduggery wouldn't let me. He was in my bed with me, holding me. He told me stories all night long, he sang me songs, he did all sorts of things, Val, to keep me from being frightened, and it worked. I felt safe with my big brother holding me. Oh, he is five minutes older, did I mention that? Well, he held me and he- He did something even nicer than that, Valkyrie. We didn't have much food then, not that year. Skulduggery had saved all his dinner, he refused to eat and made me eat so I'd get better. Now wasn't that nice of him?" Prolix looked at Valkyrie hopefully and she nodded, her eyes glistening.

Prolix lapsed back into silence but he seemed thoughtful now. He stood up then, setting his empty coffee cup aside with a firm resolve. "I must remember, I must be of some use. Think, Prolix, think! Oh dear, it was dark, like that night and I had just settled down with the radio on, all nice and cozy when I heard people outside, men, yes men, several, calling, but not for me, for you, brother. That didn't make sense so I went to the door. I was going to open it when I saw the black robes, so I couldn't see faces. But they broke the door in, they hit me in the head, left me, set the house on fire-"

Had Skulduggery been alive he would have paled. Somebody from his past wanted him dead, somebody not aware he had died and come back, and they had nearly killed Prolix trying to do it. His little brother, as annoying as he was, nearly died because of him. He stood as well. "I'll go to the Sanctuary, you stay here."

"Brother, please, no! Don't leave me alone. Can't you ring someone instead? Please? I don't want to be left alone, please. I'm still scared. Oh, what if those men followed me here, oh dear. I'm a terrible brother, I'm-" Skulduggery gathered Prolix in his arms and caught Valkyrie's gaze. She nodded and dug out her mobile, setting it on speaker after ringing Ghastly.

Prolix turned to watch, clearly fascinated with how in control Valkyrie sounded as she gave the description of the attackers. Ghastly promised to send detectives and asked how Prolix was, then rang off, clearly taking control of things.

Prolix pulled away, seemed to gather his courage. "What am I saying? I'd better go." He laughed softly. "I had the car all packed for camping, they didn't touch a thing, so I'll still go. That's what I'll do, it will be an adventure. Sorry to have been a bother. I'll be going." Skulduggery stopped his brother gently.

"No, Prolix. You're lucky the healing waters worked so well but I still want you looked at by a Sanctuary doctor, then you're coming home. You're not safe on your own. I thought if I kept away from you I could protect you. I still don't even know how you found- Uh-"

Prolix smiled and reached in his pocket. It was tattered and scorched but his wedding invitation still had the return address. Of course, Skulduggery thought. How incredibly clever his little brother was.

"I get to stay here, tonight?" Prolix asked in awe.

"I said home, Prolix. We have an extra bedroom. You're home now." Prolix threw his arms around Skulduggery, hugging his brother tightly. They coaxed him into the Bentley then to the Sanctuary doctor, then brought him home, Prolix talking all the while, to Skulduggery's utter relief.

"We should all go camping, we really should, you'd love it, Val. Out of doors, cooking on a fire. You get to sleep in a tent and everything. You know what else would be fun? Indoor camping, I bet. The tent all nice and cozy, yet you'd be in a room. Wouldn't that be fun?" He asked while Valkyrie and Skulduggery prepared dinner.

Skulduggery looked over his shoulder. "You said you have a pop up tent. Go get it. You can camp in one of the living rooms tonight." His brother looked overjoyed and went off for the tent. Skulduggery turned to Valkyrie. "Sorry, I should have asked, but where can he possibly go? Beside I do love him even if he is a handful."

Valkyrie laughed. "I'll admit he talks a lot, but he's so sweet and he adores you. He'll want to help around the house and well, he will make a good playmate when the baby comes. I think he'll love being an uncle. Besides, you know he'd try to protect us, he really would. He can't fight to protect himself, but he'd die fighting to protect us."

Skulduggery smiled and would have replied but heard Prolix returning. His brother was clearly getting things set up and it took several trips out and back. Skulduggery simply had to look and laughed. His brother had set up everything. Tent, camp chair, MREs piled in a corner, books and a hand-powered radio and flashlight.

Val joined him, clearly delighted. Dinner that night was in the living room in front of the tent using pillows as trays. Skulduggery liked indulging his little brother and knew the gentle man would be good company for Valkyrie and the baby. When night fell they told scary stories and lit the fireplace (every room had one) and before long a sleepy Prolix was unrolling his bedroll.

He didn't even have to ask. Skulduggery and Valkyrie camped out in the living room with him that night, and took him out to breakfast the next day, Prolix, now knowing his little sister as he saw Val was pregnant, flanking her in the booth.

Prolix smiled at Val. "It will be a boy, I can tell, a good strong boy. You'll be so happy. I will too, of course. But we need a name of course, and toys, and so many other things. I know you have most of it, but please, can't I help? I could buy him something useful, couldn't I? You pick, Val, anything. Since I won't need the insurance money for a new cabin, well, I want to help, if you'll really have me."

Skulduggery smiled and watched his brother talk on endlessly and for once he didn't mind. His brother after all had managed to clear all the booths and tables around them with his nonstop chatter so they had a bit of privacy.

Val nodded, having already trained Prolix to pause when he saw her nod. "Tell you what, Prolix, you agree to watch over the baby. Then when he is old enough you can buy enough gear and take him camping, how's that?"

Prolix nodded and would have replied when Skulduggery's mobile rang. Skulduggery would have stepped away for his privacy, but he owed letting Prolix in on the investigation. Skulduggery grunted in reply to Ghastly's greeting then hung up with a smile.

"We have good evidence, and leads. We will have to drive to the crime scene and I'm afraid we have to ask you to go with us, Prolix. Sorry."

Prolix nodded eagerly and they were off for the crime scene, Skulduggery wondering just how Prolix would handle seeing the ruins of his home in daylight.

777

So there you have it. There was an idea that maybe Prolix would become a partner with Skulduggery and Valkyrie. He is too wonderful a character to keep at home playing babysitter, and very brave when it comes to protecting others.

Besides which, he is brave. I wouldn't open the door for a bunch of Necromancers and I hope my readers wouldn't either. Oh, I think this also ends the series. So I hope you liked it.