Dearest Father,

After my last letter, I thought a visit to Merrill was in order. Thinking about leaving the city and the friends I would be leaving behind, I began to wonder just what Merrill would do if I were to leave Kirkwall? She barely leaves the Alienage, save for a few adventures to the Hanged Man to see Varric or if I call upon her. That's a vastly different life than what she's used to among her clan. I feel terrible for neglecting her as I have, but between her use of blood magic and the creepy feeling I get when I'm around that mirror, it's not my favorite place to visit. Still, with her Keeper's death probably still on her mind, it was time I check in on her.

Merrill didn't bother to hide her surprise when she opened the door and saw Hawke standing there. "Oh dear," she fussed. "I wasn't expecting company! Come in, come in. I'm terribly sorry, but I haven't anything to eat at the moment."

"It's fine Merrill," Hawke said as she entered the small room that Merrill called home. "Is there a reason you haven't any food? If you need coin…"

"No, no, it's not that," Merrill said. "Just haven't had the time to go out lately. Well, I've had the time, I just haven't done it yet."

Hawke eyed her curiously. "We can go to the market now if you'd like."

Merrill gestured for Hawke have a seat near the fireplace as she did the same. "It's not necessary," the elf said. "Besides, you hardly ever come to visit. I'd rather talk for a bit, if that's alright."

Hawke tried to ignore the stab of guilt she felt at Merrill's statement as she sat beside her. "I'm sorry for that Merrill, I really am. I've just been so busy lately with this Champion business."

"And Sebastian," Merrill added with a smile. "He is quite handsome, and his armor is very shiny."

Hawke laughed. "That it is," she replied. "And yes, he's very handsome."

Merrill giggled. "You're in love," she said in a sing-song voice.

The blush that warmed her cheeks was admission enough. "I suppose I am," Hawke said, followed by a contented sigh. "What about you Merrill? Any interesting prospects in the neighborhood?"

"What? Me? No!" Merrill insisted. "I don't get out much, and when I do, they all look at me a bit funny. I suppose I haven't done my very best in being social. Even after all these years, it's still quite new."

"Not the same as the clan life," Hawke commented.

"No," Merrill confirmed. "But I'm probably less welcome among my clan now than here, so might as well make the best of it."

"We ended up at Sundermount the other day," Hawke told her. "They seem to be doing alright. Vinell was made the new Keeper, and Hahren asked about you."

Merrill smiled. "Hahren was always kind to me. Vinell's a bit shy though, not sure how well she'll do in leading the clan. I suppose it's none of my business now. Marethari was the only one who cared enough to have me around. Without her, well, I know I'm not welcome there."

"You still miss her, don't you," Hawke said.

Merrill nodded. "I still can't believe she's gone," she replied, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

"I wish I could say it gets better," Hawke told her. "I miss my parents every day. But I find if I live each day trying to make them proud, my heart is a little less heavy with their loss."

"So you do what you think they'd want you to?" Merrill asked.

"I strive not to disappoint them," Hawke told her. "I know in my heart what they expected of me."

"The Keeper always wished to make life better for all elves," Merrill said. "Maybe I should get out more, try and help the people of the alienage."

Hawke smiled. "That would be a great start. There's a lot of good you can do for them, and of course I'd be willing to help. Coin for repairs to their homes, or I could talk to Aveline and see if we can get extra guard patrols in the area to cut down on some of the crime. Just name it, and I'll be happy to help."

"Thank you Hawke," Merrill said as she stood. "I think I can do that, slowly at first, until they get to know me. But there is one thing I can do now."

"What's that?" Hawke asked.

Merrill walked to the corner of the room where the eluvian stood. "This," she whispered, staring at her reflection in the cracked mirror. "I used to think fixing it would bring me closer to my people, to our history. I thought they'd be proud of me for accomplishing something so great. But nothing good has come from it. Everyone I've ever cared about has either died or turned their back on me, all because of this."

Hawke felt the energy of the Fade filling the room as Merrill's magic gathered strength, and with one quick stonefist spell, the mirror and its frame broke into several pieces. "If I'd done that a long time ago, maybe Marethari would still be alive," she whispered, picking up the piece of wood she had carved her fallen clanmates name into.

I have always been torn when it came to Merrill. When we first met, all I knew was she was a blood mage whose own clan didn't want her. The more I got to know her, the more I feared for her future, especially after being witness to all the destruction blood magic had caused in Kirkwall. There's tension between her and Fenris. Tension with her and Anders. Sebastian doesn't approve of my friendship with her. Many reasons to not spend as much time as I could with her.

But I feel the destruction of the mirror is a step in the right direction for her. I'll speak with Varric about getting her some help in supporting the alienage. If we gave her another cause to put her energy into, a positive one, maybe her use of blood magic will be a thing of the past. And I wouldn't be so worried for her when it came time for me to leave Kirkwall.