Metamorphosis

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Though the last chapter is long and I'm still finishing up the next chapter, I decided not to make you wait for this one. You'll see why.

Chapter 18 (A Good Man)

The wet rag tickled her face and cleaned away the streaks left behind by her tears. The night hours had passed by and she hadn't been able to sleep. Lindsay kept the door shut for her and stayed in the room to comfort her. "I still can't wrap my head around it, Lindsay."

Lindsay was sitting beside her bed. She folded the rag and laid it neatly on Trina's forehead. "I can't understand it either." The girl chuckled softly and moved her hands to her knees. "I'm glad you let me be here for you, though."

"I couldn't do this alone." She brought her hand up to the rag and closed her eyes. A rush of air ran up her body and left her lips with swift procession. "You know. Ross wasn't the only man to hurt me. There was Marcus and Mitchel."

"Tell me about them?"

"What can I say?" She dropped her hand to the bed and felt her body tremble. In her mind, she visualized them. Mitchel was the tall and slender high school student with freckles and thick black glasses. He had a blonde mullet, and tended to wear crew shirts and dark sweats.

Marcus was the angry middle school student. His hair was shaved and the line of his hair formed a 'V' as if he were a vampire. His dark eyes could burn a hole into whatever they fell on. He was skinny, cowardly, and that cowardice could lead to violence.

"When I was thirteen, I dated a man…Mitchel. He was a high school junior." She looked up, fearing Lindsay's judgment. The girl remained calm, listening eagerly and transporting the rag to the bucket of water. "He was really possessive, wanting to know where I was and what I was doing at all times."

"Sounds like a terror."

"He was. Once my dad took me to the park to throw the ball around, and Mom called us up saying Mitchel wanted to know where I was." She chuckled at the now ancient-feeling memory. "Mitchel actually told my mother that I needed to tell him where I was at all times, and when she told him this wasn't the case, he said for her to 'watch it'." Lindsay's jaw fell open and she quickly shook her head.

"Wow. To say that to a girl's mother. I'm amazed he didn't get his ass kicked."

"He did." Lindsay squeezed the water from the rag and carefully moved it back to Trina's forehead. "I tried to end the relationship, Dad told the kid it was over. Mitchel started stalking me after that…"

She closed her eyes at the memory of seeing the teenager in his car, glaring at the house for hours. Occasionally David would step outside and shake his fist at the youth, causing him to drive off.

But he would always come back. Tori stopped walking to school because of him.

"Dad eventually got a restraining order, but he came back around one last time. That time, Dad gave him hell. Beating him up and telling him not to come back around his family…I haven't seen Mitchel since."

Lindsay whistled lowly and folded her left leg over her right. Trina closed her eyes and felt the skin around her eyes tense as Marcus flashed before her. "I dated someone not long after him. Marcus. He was a little creep. Didn't know how to get what he wanted besides hitting."

The girl threw her hands up over her mouth. Trina folded her hands on her stomach and opened her eyes at the window. "Dad wasn't too happy when I kept coming home with bruises on my face. Well, that relationship ended quickly."

At this point of time, she wouldn't let anyone get away with striking her. "After Ross, and after Tori started going to Hollywood Arts and getting all the attention that she got, I felt I had to go all drama queen on people. I felt like I needed to force people to be my friend, force them to like me…I'd throw myself at boys, hoping Mr. Right would finally notice me."

"Mr. Right?" Lindsay's eyebrow rose.

"Yeah." Trina laughed out and raised her hands to the air. "You know. Prince Charming, Mr. Right…the guy every girl dreams about meeting." She dropped her arms and shook her head. "One guy, Kevin, asked me out one day and I was thrilled. So excited somebody finally noticed me."

Lindsay smiled at her and moved a gentle hand to her shoulder. Trina frowned and rolled her gaze over to the girl, causing her to withdraw her hand. "I guess that didn't work out."

"No." She pressed her lips together and felt a surge of pain from her heart. "I went to the restaurant and I waited for him. He…" She exhaled and looked towards the sky. "Never showed. I got a text later that said he thought I was too crazy for him and that I was rushing too quick."

"Another failure for Mr. Right."

"Stupid Drama Queen. She can't land a man to save her life." Trina's smirk caused her friend to laugh, despite the pain. The room grew tense and she averted her eyes quickly. "There was another time I got excited, then he dumped me before we had a chance. Want to know how?"

"How?"

"Hired two of my sister's friends to sing a song to me."

"Prick."

"You said it." She pulled her hands up and slid them down behind her head. "Then I made the stupid mistake of trying to force everyone to notice me again." Lindsay's brow tensed up and her fingers gripped her knees. "I also wanted to be mean, told people I was with Beck when I wasn't…Beck, Andre, and Robbie all came over to 'teach me a lesson'. One of them, I think it was Beck, restrained me. After what happened with Ross, I didn't get an ounce of sleep that night, and all I could think about was beating those three to a pulp."

Lindsay gave her forearm a squeeze and smiled reassuringly at Trina. They held each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. The silence in the room thickened and some of the heaviness inside of her subsided.

"Why do some people think it's okay to play with your heart? Can you answer that, Lindsay?"

"I can't." Trina raised her hand up to Lindsay's wrist and set it carefully above her friend's wristband. Lindsay peered down at the band and took a deep breath. "Travis is a good man. I think he knows why there's a scar there, but he hasn't pressured me about it."

"He cares about you."

"Jason cares about you too." Lindsay blurted out the words and Trina pulled her hand away with a sigh. She visualized Jason in her head and smirked while imagining him kicking down all of the boys before. "And I've seen the way you look at him, Trina. Don't tell me you don't feel the same way."

"It's hard, Lindsay. I-I want that, but I'm scared. I'm scared I won't be good enough for him, scared to put myself out there at the risk of being hurt again. I can't do that. Except-"

She turned away and her face softened up. She remembered Ross and Jenny together, and wondered why she kept her heart under lock and key when even that man was able to put the past behind him and try to move on.

"Ross said he's trying to move forward. He struggles with what he did or almost did to me, but he's put himself out despite the risk. Jenny accepted him, she knows what he did and she accepted him." She folded her arms over her abdomen and shook her head. "What does that say about me, Lindsay?"

"Honest." She turned to her friend and brought her eyebrows together. "You still hold on to all the pain, all the fear, and it's understandable but how can you grow if you don't try? Maybe moving ahead, maybe even moving ahead with Jason will help you. The worst guy to hurt you lucked out, who says you can't?"

"But what if I get hurt again?"

"You move on? I mean, I think Jason's a good guy, but you'll never know if something's good if you just shy away." Lindsay's mouth curled into a smirk and she nudged Trina's shoulder playfully. "Besides, do you want to grow up an old cat lady?"

"O-Old cat lady?" She sputtered and sat up with a start. "No! I…just have a lot of doubts and concerns."

"Well. Starting a relationship is half the journey." Lindsay held her hands between her knees and lifted her shoulders. "Relationships are part of growing up, Trina. You've had a lot of mess-ups, a lot of Mr. Rights were Mr. Wrong, but maybe that means you're due for the lucky one, but if you pass him up…"

"Then I'll never know, right?"

"I guess it's like this. You can protect yourself for so long, protect yourself into a bubble, but you'll never be happy. Truly happy. You'll hurt yourself."

"You're saying give it a chance?"

"I'm saying take a risk. You like this guy, do you want to spend the rest of your life thinking back on Jason and wondering what would have happened if you gave him a shot?" She turned her head down and pressed her lips together. "If he treats you right and cares for you, you can look back on him as a good thing. If the relationship doesn't work out, you can look back and say at least you gave it a shot, and knowing is better than wasting years not knowing."

"Maybe you have a point, but what if he doesn't even feel the same? What if he thinks I'm too overbearing? What if I'm too nuts?"

Lindsay crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Have you acted at all like a diva lately?"

"No. I don't have to here, people don't know me and I didn't feel like I had to win anyone's favor or change their opinion about me."

"So you've basically been yourself."

"I guess."

"No acting crazy, no acting obsessive, just being calm and relaxed. You've also talked to Jason, you two are on friendly terms. Does he have any reason to think you're nuts?"

"No."

"Then what are you waiting for?" It wasn't easy here either, since they were at camp and could stand the chance of being separated afterwards. Sure, both of them lived in California, but could they even end up finding each other once they got back? She didn't have her phone, so she couldn't save his number.

Trina smiled sheepishly and looked up at the ceiling. "Well. I don't really like it up there. The top of the walls is a bit high up…" Lindsay's eyelids fell halfway and her wrists bent at her waist.

"Pretend you and Jason went rock climbing and you're up there with him on that little structure you guys like to climb."

After that statement, Trina didn't get much time to protest Lindsay's actions. Her friend pulled her out of the bed, dressed her up and groomed her to look like she hadn't just been crying for several hours straight.

Trina convinced herself that she would talk to Jason, and fight back all the negative relationships of the past that kept her from moving forward.

Now she stood before his office door, with the open air on both sides of her. While the top of the walls did have a border frame to lean up against for support, she still couldn't stand looking over them.

This supporting edge rose up only to her chest. Despite that safety feature, she remained terrified.

That terror vanished when she knocked on Jason's door, and a new fear grew in its place. "What am I doing?" Lindsay was waiting for her in the room, not pressuring her to talk to Jason. She would understand if Trina got cold feet and ran.

Right now, her feet were frigid, but her legs were frozen.

She spent her waiting time trying to convince her that there was nothing between her and this man, and that she was only going to make a fool of herself.

Hell, she didn't mention to Lindsay that the ultimate rejection from a man came from the years of neglect she suffered at her father's hands. While her father apologized and appeared to want to reconcile, it didn't take away from the feeling that he at once didn't want anything to do with her.

Trina closed her eyes and grit her teeth as a tremble shot down her body. "No," she said aloud, "People don't want me around."

"Trina?" Her eyes flew open and she gasped at Jason, standing in the now open doorway. His right arm was stretched out, with his hand on the knob. "I thought you didn't like coming up here? Also, I enjoy having you around."

"You-" She cleared her throat and scratched at her neck. "You're not busy, are you?" He stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

"Not too busy for you. What's up?"

"I was hoping we could talk."

"Alright. Let's walk." Her eyes widened and she turned her head to the right. Jason smirked and walked past her. "You're not going to fall off."

"What if there's a really powerful wind, capable of pushing two hundred pounds off the wall?"

He chuckled at her and spread his arms out. "Well, then two hundred plus pounds of muscle will be flying over the edge." She smiled and tucked the corner of her lower lip beneath her teeth. "I wouldn't let you go over though, I'll assure you of that."

Trina moved her hand to her right cheek, sighing as it burned bright red. "Right. It's not that scary." She took a deep breath and walked with him in the center of the walkway.

They made their way along the wall and Jason playfully nudged her arm with his elbow. She yelped and smacked him back playfully. "Don't push me. I know I'm not going to fall off. Sheesh."

Ten minutes passed and Trina kept quiet with a steady uncertainty growing within. "It's a beautiful day," Jason said. She looked to the clear blue sky and turned her lips up. "Missed you in class, then lunch. Is everything okay?"

"No, but it's getting better." She linked her index fingers together at her belt and looked down to her feet. "Thanks for asking."

"You did seem really shaken up, but I'm glad you're okay." Trina walked over to the edge of the walkway, trembling with anxiety as she approached it. "Trina?" He watched over her and approached her.

"I need to look. I need to face this."

"Alright."

When she opened her eyes, she could see a magnificent sight. Once again the sea of trees mixed with the blanketing sky. The cool wind dispersed the burning blush on her cheeks and let her hair blow wildly behind her.

"Wow." Her hand moved to her chest and a smile grew on her face. "It's breathtaking." She looked back at Jason; his hand rubbed the back of his head and he approached the edge with a smile. "Have you ever seen anything so amazing?"

"Up here?"

"Yeah."

"I'm used to the sight, I see it all the time." She pursed her lips and leaned forward, sliding her hands along the stony surface. Jason exhaled and turned sideways on the stone block, leaning against his elbow. "But you're right, there's a lot of amazing things to see up here right now."

He looked out at the green sea below and closed his eyes as the breeze ran through his hair. Trina brushed her lips together and looked down to his hands. "Jason, I…what I want to say really isn't easy for me."

Jason gave her a concerned look. A hump grew above the wrinkle being pushed up between his brow, and his handsome lips were pursed just slightly. "Is everything alright, Trina?"

"Yes, no, I mean-" She groaned in frustration and reached up to her hair, holding it back and wishing the wind would subside. "Goddamn wind!" Jason's smile grew and he watched as Trina fought to put her hair into a ponytail. "Fucking wind, ruining this moment like it's got nothing better to do."

She caught his gentle gaze and froze in place. Her hands moved away from her hair and a nervous chuckle fell from her. "Sorry, I just get a little nervous sometimes. I'm stalling, I know."

"Stalling?"

"Yes." It was best to just come out with it at this point. The longer she took, the greater was her desire to run. She leaned back against the stone border and moved her palms to the edge. "I like you." His eyebrows rose sharply and she held his gaze. "A lot. I…don't know how this goes, but I can't stop thinking about you. I want to be with you-to give this a chance."

"I can't say I don't feel the same." Her heart lifted up and Jason stepped before her, holding her gaze with his. The blood shot up to her cheeks and her lips fell open by barely an inch. "I think you're an amazing, beautiful woman. It's been a long time since I've felt anything for someone, or even thought about a relationship."

"Maybe we could give it a shot?"

"I'd like that. Take it slow." She swallowed down a lump of air and moved her eyes to his lips. She reached for his hands and gave them a gentle tug. Her chest expanded and air filled her lungs as he carefully approached her.

His hands fell to her waist and slid around to the small of her back. Trina dropped her hands back to the edge of the stone structure she was leaning against. "It seems…if I should ask…"

Her pulse jumped and began to charge through her veins, heating her body with each inch that closed between them. She let her lips separate and shut her eyes as Jason started to close the gap.

Then he took her, his gentle lips brushed against hers, sending a spark of excitement into her body. His powerful arms pulled her towards him, but held her safe. Trina's eyebrows closed together and she groaned out as she felt her body shift up.

She moved her arms around his back and pushed her chest against his. The feeling of his heartbeat against hers sent further shocks out, electrifying her.

Jason pulled his lips away and Trina stumbled forward, gasping for the air that his kiss seemed to steal away. His hand rose to her cheek, cupping it carefully. She whimpered as her body started to tremble.

"Jason."

"I-I'm sorry. If that was too sudden." She took a deep breath as the hard lump returned to her throat. She wanted another kiss, she wanted this relationship to go, but she was still terrified.

"You aren't regretting it, are you?"

"What? No." His eyes dropped to her trembling lips and he closed his mouth to swallow. "God no." Her body felt as though it had become air, and should she release him, the wind might truly carry her away.

"I'm scared. Can we-can we do this?"

"Yes." Her heart jumped out of her chest and she breathed in sharp as Jason leaned in. She moved her arms around his neck and let herself melt into his embrace as he pulled her into another warm and tender kiss.

So they finally kiss, it isn't a confession of love because there's been no relationship development, but this is a start of a new relationship. Let's see if it will work out, I'm sure the both of them have their fears and whatnot to work on. What are your thoughts throughout the chapter? Hmm, I enjoy this couple, but I'll be the first to say this is the most real and romantic way that I've brought them together.