Metamorphosis

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N:

Chapter 19 (Boost of Confidence)

None of it mattered. That's what she told herself, anyway. All of the hurt and all of the pain she suffered in the past, it was behind her now. This wasn't necessarily true to her heart, though.

It hit her as she walked back to her room; she was frightened. The kiss, the start of a relationship, none of it seemed real to her. Even now, Trina had to fight her fears that Jason might hurt her.

To her surprise, Lindsay was waiting for her. "How did it go?" She asked. Trina staggered forward as if she were in a trance. His kiss still lingered on her tantalizing her and leaving her hungry for more.

"I-he…" She touched her fingers to her trembling lips and closed her eyes. Lindsay's hands moved to her waist, and her mouth turned into a wide smile. Of course she always thought her sister would be the first person to know when a new relationship began, but not this time. "I'm still in shock."

"Well what happened girl? Give me the details. Did he say yes, no, did you talk to him? You're blushing and acting all-" The girl suddenly stopped and her grin increased when Trina's cheeks turned crimson from the hot blood beneath her skin. "Oh my gosh, he kissed you, or you kissed him? Either way, you kissed!"

Suddenly she was grabbed by the shoulders and yanked into the room. She let out a scream and stumbled towards her bed, catching herself for a moment before falling onto it. "Lindsay, please!"

"Sorry. I'm just happy for you. I get excited sometimes."

Trina swept her hair over her ear and carefully sat on the edge of her mattress. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say, how to act or anything." She placed her hands in her lap and stared down at them, whining softly as her heart seemed to fight to escape her chest. "I'm scared."

Lindsay sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Of what? What are you scared of?"

"A lot." She didn't want to say that Jason had been her first legitimate kiss, and certainly didn't want to say she was frightened that this relationship wouldn't last longer than a week.

"You can talk to me, Trina. You know everything is between us two." She smiled and leaned into her friend. Her head came to rest on Lindsay's shoulder. "So you kissed. What's next?"

"Well, he kissed me, if we want to be technical." She played with her fingers, tangling them together and running her thumb swiftly across the surface of her hand. "It was mutual, though." Her lip tucked beneath her teeth and her body began to heat up. "We'll date. What if it doesn't last, though? What if I do something wrong? What if-"

"Stop it." She froze and looked at Lindsay with a furrowed brow and a softening expression. Lindsay brought her hands up and cupped Trina's face, then smiled gently. "Stop scaring yourself silly and give this relationship a chance. You can ask 'what if' forever, but you'll never know. You have to give something a chance to develop."

She pulled away from her friend and cleared her throat. "No, you don't understand. I can't do this." She stood abruptly and started to pace, throwing her hand in the air. "I can't let myself be hurt again. Jason might-"

"You think that man's going to hurt you? After what he went through himself?" She stopped in the middle of her pacing and turned around, whining subtly.

"No. But I'm scared. This is something…I've never done."

Jason was different than the other men in her life; she knew he was. There was something about him that was softer, genuine, and maybe even real. He couldn't hurt her, but then, he could.

"Why can't I accept that maybe someone's attracted to me, Lindsay? I mean, he likes me-he kissed me and is willing to try a relationship. Why can't I accept that?" Lindsay smiled at her, then looked down to her wristband with a shrug.

"I guess, I understand why you're scared. Simple answer, you don't want to be hurt again." Lindsay moved her hand over her wristband and took a deep breath. "Tougher answer? You know accepting it means starting a relationship and jumping into unknown areas, and you know that starting a relationship means taking risks."

"Risks aren't always good…"

"But sometimes they can be." Lindsay stood up and walked over to her. "Think about it. I'm with Travis now, and I couldn't be happier to be with a man that cares about me. I'm starting to trust him, and no trusting someone doesn't come easy. Especially when you've been hurt so many times."

Trina swallowed the lump of air in her throat and looked to the ceiling. "What if I do put my heart out there and end up hurt?"

"Well. I don't think he'd hurt you, and even Travis thinks Jason's just a soft guy with a rough exterior." Trina chuckled once and gently rubbed her left arm with her. "Tough as hell commander that's really a teddy bear-Travis's words, not mine." Lindsay laughed again for a second, then fell quiet.

Trina's eyes slid nervously into Lindsay's, and her heart jumped up to her throat. Lindsay reached out to her, setting a gentle hand onto her shoulder. "Rome wasn't built in a day, Trina, and neither does love happen in a day. It takes time, it takes patience and effort."

"And if something goes wrong? If I mess this up?"

"You wouldn't let yourself."

"If he-"

"If he did anything to hurt you, I'd tear him to pieces. I don't think he would." Lindsay's brow furrowed. Her hand dropped down to the side and Trina pursed her lips. "Are you looking for a reason to back down? An excuse?"

"N-No! It's just…I'm still trying to figure things out." She walked past Lindsay and peered out the window at the scenery. "I've never just been myself, you know? I've always been the diva. I've always been impulsive, obsessive and clingy. It's hard to get away from that image…" She swept her hair over her ears and felt the rush of her ever-quickening heart. "I can just picture Tori's friends, swearing this is impossible. They would say I can't find a man that wants to be with me, and anyone that does is insane or blind. I-"

"Oh god, shut up." She jolted her head back and looked over her shoulder. Lindsay was shaking her head. Her arms were crossed and her foot was tapping on the floor. "As your best friend, I'm asking you to stop giving a shit about what people say regarding your personal life when they know nothing about you."

"I…"

"Why do they matter to you?" She bowed her head and closed her hands up. No answer came to mind that was good enough for her. "Their opinion should mean as much to you as Jenny's does."

The girl stepped forward and snapped her fingers. "As a matter of fact, any time you think of what those people would say, just tell them to be quiet."

"It's easier said than done."

"Of course it is, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. Just like you having a relationship that actually lasts isn't impossible! But the only problem there is, it's not going to last if you don't try."

"I'll try. I'm just not used to it." Trina sat down again and pushed herself back against the wall. She stretched her legs across the bed and slid her hands down, wiping some sweat off on her pants. "I um, I'm nervous."

"That's fine." Lindsay grinned wide and raised her eyebrows. "What are you guys going to do for your first official date?" Her heart stopped for a split second and she glanced back to the ceiling, as though looking to Jason through the concrete walls. "You guys did decide on a date, right?"

"I think we still have to talk about some stuff. I mean, he is the head counselor here." While dating was allowed on campsite, there were some stringent regulations. A relationship, for instance, could not take away from group time. "We did decide to just hike through the woods like we've been doing. You know, cause that's fun for us."

She smiled sweetly, watching as Lindsay shrugged. "Cool. I was expecting something else, but you have to start where you're comfortable." Lindsay's smile turned into a smirk, and her eyelids fell into slants. "However, the next time you see Jason, you're going to be even more gorgeous than you already are."

"Wha-" A blush rushed to her cheeks and she threw her hands to her face in an attempt to conceal it. "I don't-"

"Oh come on girl, you're sexy and you know it, don't act like you don't know it." Lindsay smacked her shoulder and laughed. "I'm going to give you a makeover that will make Jason even more excited that he's going out with you."

"But I don't want a makeover!" She cleared her throat and waved her hands into the air. This was the whole thing that screwed everything up and she didn't want to have any part of the diva lifestyle. "I'm trying to put the attention loving diva girl behind me, if I can say it like that. You know. Lindsay, all the makeup, glitter and nail polish isn't even right here. I was made fun of just for wearing a dress to camp!"

As her frenzied protests increased, her friend moved cooly towards her and silenced her by placing a hand just beneath her chin. Trina closed her mouth and let Lindsay tilt her head upright a bit.

"I didn't say I was going to make you over with makeup and glitter, Trina. You like that stuff more than I do. What I'm going to do is embellish your natural beauty." She pulled her head away and closed her eyes. "And yes, you have that."

"That's not what most people-"

"Ah uh!" Her eyes shot open and she glanced sideways at Lindsay. Her friend was wagging a finger in the air and her eyebrows had pulled together. "What did I say? Who's opinion matters first, above all else?"

"My own?"

"Right. The first step in feeling confident and sexy is to look confident and sexy. You don't need a shit ton of makeup, nail polish and accessories to be gorgeous. You just need to accentuate the natural beauty that you already have."

Trina's eyes widened and she turned her head slowly, watching as Lindsay examined her. "You see Trina Vega, you will be just as much the woman you are and just as beautiful, but that beauty will be magnified after you get a makeover from your best friend."

"You're just using this as an excuse to make up for lost time, aren't you?"

Lindsay closed her eyes and waved a hand in the air. "Partly." Seeing no way out of this, Trina slouched and sighed in defeat. "So, you've wowed him once, but are you ready to wow the man?"

She was skeptical of the process, considering they didn't have any electric tools to use. Lindsay did have a makeup kit with some accessories, but there was no curling iron or anything. "How are you even going to do this?"

"Hush girl and let me work my magic." Lindsay took her by the hands and tore her from the bed. She let out a yelp as her friend pulled her, and the desk chair, into the bathroom. "Let's begin the experimentation."

"Experimentation? What?" She looked at her horrified expression in the mirror and whined as her best friend rushed to grab all of the cosmetics she owned.

"You don't have to be a diva girly-girl to be pretty, Trina. You can be little miss athlete as you are and still be a stunning knockout, and we're going to show Jason just how lucky he is."

In the mirror, her face was still stained from prior tears, although less than they'd been before talking to Jason. She had sacs beneath her eyes and was exhausted from having been up most of the night before. Her hair was a frizzled mess, her lip were beginning to chap, and her eyes seemed to have lost their prior glow.

"I don't feel like I would say lu-" Lindsay stepped behind her and cleared her throat.

"One more negative jest at yourself, and I'm taping that pretty mouth shut." She smiled slightly and laughed as Lindsay began to pull her hair back and brush it with her hands. "What am I going to do with you, girl?"

Despite not wanting a makeover of any kind, Trina couldn't help but to feel a sense of bliss. When she looked at Lindsay in the mirror, it was amazing to see how excited the girl was to just be able to do this for her.

It was nice, because they'd never had a friend to do these sorts of activities with growing up. So it did feel like they were making up for lost time. What did she care if Lindsay wanted to 'beautify' her best friend? This was the first time she got a chance to even do something that girls might occasionally do.

"Hey Lindsay, how about I fix your hair after this?"

"I'd be delighted, but we're on a mission right now. It's all about you." Trina chuckled nervously, then slid her lips into a slight, peaceful smile. She raised an eyebrow as Lindsay pulled up a strand of hair and let several strands fall like a web. "Ooh yeah, we got our work cut out for us."

Ah the makeover has to happen, and who could deny Lindsay the joy she's dreamed of hm? Haha. Well what are your thoughts about what's going on in Trina's mind at this point? She's ventured into new territory, unknown territory and of course she's frightened, but this could be a good thing for her.