Metamorphosis

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N:

Chapter 22 (Learning to Trust)

"So who won the chess game?" Trina plopped beside Lindsay on the couch of the game center. It was the first time she was getting to see her friend after the marathon of Chuck Norris. "And a little birdie told me there was a wager."

"I won." She thought Jason let her win, but she couldn't prove it. "It means my date idea gets to be done first." Lindsay's eyebrows slid up. The girl pulled her right leg up onto the couch and hung her arm over the knee. Trina turned towards her, speaking excitedly. "We're going to cuddle up on his couch in the office and watch movies."

Trina reclined and looked towards a small makeshift stage in front of them. It had a speaker and microphone next to each other. She couldn't see herself doing any karaoke, but it could be fun. "So Lindsay, what about you?" Lindsay rolled her head to the right and curved her lips up. "You and Travis seem to be getting along really well."

"He's great." Lindsay dropped her leg over her left and reached her hands towards her knee. The girl arched her back and let out a sigh. "He says he's moving to California to attend college there and be closer to Jason so they can actually hang out more often."

Trina raised her eyebrows and watched Lindsay bow her head and sweep her hair over her ear. She felt a bit of hope that Lindsay was thinking more seriously about moving in with her father. "Hey Lindsay, I know we haven't talked much about your dad…" Lindsay dropped her hand and glanced quickly at her.

"We really haven't. That's right." Her friend's somber gaze moved towards the ceiling and her shoulders fell with a sudden downward shift. "I…really want to be near Travis and near you. I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about what that might mean for me."

"If you really don't to be with your dad, no one would blame you." She glanced at Lindsay's wrist and was astonished to see the wristband was missing. "Lindsay." She held her breath as the girl glanced over to her. "Your wristband?"

"That old thing?" Lindsay lifted her wrist up and extended her arm towards Trina. Tears welled up in the girl's eyes, and her lips pulled deep into her cheeks. "You see it, right? Bigger than you thought it was?" Trina lifted her palms to the bottom of Lindsay's arm and looked down at the wrist.

The pink scar was long, from the bottom of her palm to a freckle nearly an inch down. She gasped softly and curled her eyebrows together. Lindsay spoke softly, her voice broke over the first few words. "A neighbor called the ambulance. She wrapped a towel around my arm, so tightly, until the paramedics arrived." She moved her hand over her mouth and felt her stomach lurch.

It hurt to picture her best friend in such a position, broken and suffering. "Lindsay, I-"

"That's how much I didn't want to go to my dad. How depressed I was, how much I couldn't stand losing my mother, my grandma." Lindsay wrapped her hand around her wrist and looked down at the scar, gasping softly. "It's a part of me now, and I shouldn't feel ashamed of it. It's there, but it doesn't take away from who I am. I shouldn't have to cover it up because it doesn't define me."

"You're right, it doesn't." Lindsay looked into her eyes and she smiled. "Lindsay, you're smart and beautiful, and you've always been tough. I looked up to you when we were kids." Lindsay pulled her arm back and sighed.

"Tough? I've been running to avoid my dad. I nearly killed myself just to avoid having to go to him."

"But you're pushing through." Trina moved her hand around Lindsay's wrist and squeezed gently. "Why aren't you wearing the band anymore? You took it off for a reason." The corners of Lindsay's mouth tilted up and she shrugged.

"I think I've accepted the way things are. You're going to try with your dad, right?" Trina looked down and slowly nodded. At first she wasn't sure if she was going to, but when she heard the concern and yearning in her dad's voice, she knew she had to. "Well, from what I understand, you've been running too. So why stop now? Why give your dad a chance?"

"Because he says he's trying to change and he really wants to work on things." She couldn't deny her father when he was genuinely trying to make things better, but she didn't see yet. The thought that he would fall back to his distancing ways was terrifying, but she had to be brave. "I guess I have to try, even if that means running the risk of his becoming distant again."

"Yeah. Almost makes me want to give my dad a chance." Lindsay laughed wryly. "I didn't tell you what happened when he heard about my attempt." Trina furrowed her brow and listened intently. The room grew silent and the air thickened around them. "He called me up, said he was worried and he really seemed scared to lose me. I can't be sure to trust him, Trina."

"I know it feels that way." She ran her hand over Lindsay's back, rubbing it in a circular motion. "I'm scared to trust my dad when he says he's 'changing' and when he says he wants to try…but god." A heavy scoff left her lips, and she shook her head. "I wonder if I really want to leave things off like that. Would I ever forgive myself for walking out of my dad's life and never look back? I don't know."

"You were thinking about that?"

"Honest? Yeah." She crossed her arms and kicked her heels up to the foot rest before her. Lindsay's right eyebrow rose and she moved her left hand up to her hair, but held it in place. "Did you ever have your dad tell you he doesn't want you around?"

"No…"

"I have. It fucking hurts. So, I was willing and planning after this trip, to leave for college. Somewhere far away, and I wouldn't look back. No more dad, no more mom, no more Tori. I'd say goodbye, farewell to all of them."

"Your dad sounds weird. On one hand he's immensely protective of you and your sister, and then he's distant. It's hard to comprehend."

"I know it is." She wasn't sure when it started, and it was difficult to try and figure it out. She knew his job stress was heavy, but never understood why it was so difficult for him to try and be a part of the family. "But Tori says he's making an effort, so I have to try and believe that. I have to try and trust that, but trust is hard to come by when you've been hurt so many times."

Lindsay stared at the wall in front of her and pulled both her knees up to her chest. "If I move to California, we'll still be friends, won't we?" The girl wrapped her arms around her legs and moved her chin to the top of her knees. Trina was shocked by the question; she had no reason to believe their friendship would end.

"Of course we will, Linds. Why would you suspect we wouldn't be?"

"I don't know." Lindsay raised her head and frowned. "I told Travis, I didn't think he'd want to be with someone who tried to kill herself, someone who he might think was unstable." The girl started to smile and her eyes slid down. "He's the one that said my attempt doesn't define me, and he said what was on the inside is what counts."

"He's right."

"Yeah, I just never thought it would take so much for me to see that. I was measuring my worth and importance by what I did." Lindsay stretched her arm out and stared down at the scar. "I'm not some unstable girl, I'm more than that. I'm more than what this scar is and if people can't see past it, then that's their problem and not mine."

"Exactly." She put her arm around Lindsay's shoulders and pulled the girl towards her. Lindsay set her head onto Trina's shoulder and dropped her hand to hers. Trina's heart swelled as she felt her friend relax. "For the record, Linds…I'm really glad you're here. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Go half crazy?"

She laughed and Lindsay flashed a smile. At the very least, they wouldn't have to be alone through their troubles. "Are we really doing this?" Lindsay rolled her head to the right. Trina furrowed her brow and stared at the karaoke set in the room. "Dating these men, seeing where the path leads. Lindsay, I'm scared."

"I am too. If it's a matter of trust, then we're putting our hearts in their hands aren't we?"

"If I remember correctly." Trina glanced at her friend with a playful smirk. "You're the one that said to try." Lindsay laughed once and hugged Trina's waist.

"I still stand by my words, too."

Her heart sank as she thought back on the men she'd dated in the past. The more she thought about them, the more her chest ached. Her eyes moved towards her friend and she slowly ran her hand through the girl's hair. "Have you been hurt, Lindsay? By any guys? I never thought you'd be one to run into trouble, but then, I always thought I would find prince charming."

"Every girl thinks that, Trina. Not just you." Lindsay sat up and wiped her eyes. "I can't say I've gone through half the stuff you've been through, but I did trust someone that hurt me. A guy I thought was good to me was only using me to make somebody else jealous. They played with me in the worst way."

Trina turned her head, growling under her breath and curling her fingers. "Men can be assholes sometimes, Lindsay. I'm sorry you went through that." Lindsay swept her fingers across her eyes and chuckled once. "I wish I had been there. I would have been able to support you."

"Same here." Lindsay's hand slid over Trina's shoulder, a gentle comfort for the girl. "You know I would have been there. Be it Marcus, Mitchel, Ross…"

"You think Travis and Jason are good men?" Her heart pulsated and her fingers trembled on her kneecaps. "They won't hurt us? What if we do something stupid to mess it up? What if we find the one good man in our lives and we screw up?"

"It's a lot of trust to give them, but you know what? I don't think they're going to hurt us." Trina smiled hopefully and turned her head over her left shoulder. The door to the room slid open and sunlight spilled into the area. Lindsay turned to look, smiling as the two men entered through the doorway.

The light faded behind Travis and Jason, but threw their shadows out onto the floor. "There they are," Travis said with a gentle laugh. "You girls are aware that the group activity starts in about, oh, ten to fifteen minutes?"

The cushion shifted and a rush of air hit Trina's skin. She looked over to see Lindsay hurrying to her boyfriend and throwing her arms around him. Travis moved his arms around his girlfriend's waist, grinning as Lindsay tore the hat from his head and moved it onto hers.

Trina moved her gaze onto Jason, watching as he shook his head at his friend. His lip curled into a smirk and his biceps bulged when he crossed his arms over his chest.

He looked at her and uncrossed his arms before walking towards the couch. "In all honesty." Jason plopped down beside her and extended his legs on the footrest, crossing them over. "If I wasn't group leader, I'd skip the activity." Trina dropped her jaw for a minute and leaned into him.

"You? Skip out on your duty?" She let her fingers trail down his arm, then curled them around his two forefingers. "That's hard to believe."

"It is tempting." He pulled his arm up and slid it around her shoulders. Travis and Lindsay sat down next to them on the couch, mimicking their pose. "How are you girls doing, by the way?"

"Alright. We were talking about you boys."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She stood up and took Jason's hands. Her eyes connected with his and she flashed a playful smirk while tugging his arms towards her. Jason rose to his feet, keeping his gentle eyes within hers.

"And what, pray tell, was this discussion in regards to us men?"

"We were discussing vital information, secrets that must never get out. Otherwise known as girl talk." Jason laughed as Trina pulled his hands around his waist. She moved her hands up and cupped his face. Her voice dropped down to a whisper as she searched his eyes and his lips. "If I were to give you my heart, you could tear it apart. You could destroy me, if you wanted to."

Jason's eyebrows pulled together and his face softened. "I would be a fool."

"Then don't." Her arms moved slowly around his neck and a sudden tremble overtook her body. Jason's strong embrace soothed her, but she couldn't shake the fear that she held. "Whether it's my dad, whether it's the men I've dated. Trusting isn't easy…if I were to trust you, and you were to hurt me. You might be the last man to do it."

She watched Lindsay's eyes fall for a moment, then the girl looked at Travis. He smiled gently at his girlfriend and squeezed her hand. Although they spoke nothing, their gazes seemed to express a similar communication.

That you would be, Jason, that you would. Well, what are your thoughts on this chapter? Any input?