Peridot's eyes opened slowly this morning. Blinking a few times, the blonde looked around the room. Every time since that day, it looked so.. different. First of all, she had a reason to see things differently. Second.. her reason was still asleep in the separate bed on the other side of the room. It was so surreal.

It had been a week since she and Lapis confessed to each other. Well, Amethyst and Pearl confessed for Lapis, but you get the idea. Peridot is supposed to be meeting the couple again today. They were going to be incredibly disappointed.

Last Week

"I love you, Lapis."

Peridot said this as she cried in Lapis' shoulder. These tears weren't sad at all. In fact, they were incredibly happy. But that was the problem.

The blonde felt her panic rising rapidly. She just.. she doesn't think she can handle this. Her emotions were out of control. She needed to calm down, she had to calm down!

"I love you too."

God dammit Lapis! Peridot pulled away, smiling widely a she wiped her tears, which were only replaced with new ones. Though she was smiling, every fiber of her being was screaming at her. She felt as if she were going to have a heart attack.

"I-I'm sorry to.. ruin the moment, b-but.." Peridot spoke between sobs, and Lapis' own teary face had a wide smile. She thought Peridot was so adorable. "..I n-need to use the b-bathroom."

"Go right ahead, Peri.." Lapis stepped to the side and Peridot wasted no time rushing to the restroom.

After closing the door behind her, locking it, the blonde immediately pulled her razor given to her by Amethyst from her pocket. She just.. didn't fucking care anymore.

Peridot stripped herself of her hoodie and her tee shirt, leaving her in just her bra and pajamas. It would take far too long to rip the bandages from her arm.

Peridot began slicing at her skin, doing her best to keep her breath from becoming too loud. She made several scratches across the top of her breasts, and even more cuts along her stomach. She cut her body, again and again until she calmed down. Her breath became long, deep, controlled.

The blonde watched as her blood flowed from her body, staining her bra and waistband of her pajamas. She should be angry with herself, but the pain just felt too good. She was calm now.

Peridot had to act quickly, or the blood would stain too much of her clothing. Lapis would notice.

After washing the blade of her blood and putting it in the back of the medicine cabinet, the blonde grabbed a wash cloth from under the bathroom sink, wetting it in said sink. She began to wipe the blood from her body. In her wild movements, Peridot cut herself more deeply than she did on her arm. She was going to have to use alcohol to clean herself up.

Peridot grabbed the bottle from under the sink along with some cotton balls. After cleaning the blood from her body with the wet cloth, she put some alcohol on a cotton ball and placed it to one of her wounds. She let out a hiss through her breath. It hurt like a bitch.

The blonde repeated this for all of the cuts she made, then put the alcohol back under the sink while putting the cotton ball in the toilet. She had to get rid of it this way.

Finally, she grabbed the bandages from the medicine cabinet that Amethyst used to wrap around Peridot's arm. Peridot wrapped the bandages around her body, being sure to tie them tightly. There could be no lumps under her clothes.

After Peridot finally got her body cleaned of blood and bandaged, she dressed herself again. She would have to secretly wash her bra and pajamas later that night. Luckily, her hoodie was just long enough to cover the pajama waistband. She flushed the toilet, getting rid of the cotton ball.

Lapis was sitting on the bed, her head hung low. She had been thinking about what just occurred. It was like a dream come true, but.. would this relationship be good for them? She looked up, smiling as Peridot came out of the bathroom.

"Hey. How ya feeling?"

Peridot smiled widely, feeling content. She would deal with her little problem when she talked to Pearl and Amethyst next week. Now, she should just enjoy the fact that Lapis was in front of her, and that they loved each other.

"I feel better than ever."

Now

Peridot stood in front of Pearl and Amethyst's door. The cuts on her arm had finally healed, so she was able to now just wear her light green tee shirt, after she removed the bandages of course. Now the only wounds that needed to heal were the ones on the front of her body. She knocked on the door.

"Come in, Peri."

Amethyst and Pearl had gotten used to the blonde visiting them. Hell, they were the one who instructed it in the first place. Peridot opened the door, allowing herself in the room.

Amethyst was laying on her back in her bed while Pearl sat on her own bed near the window, her usual cigarette in hand. Peridot was surprised to see that Garnet was in the room as well leaning against the wall.. along with Rose Quartz, acting dean of Diamond University, who was sitting beside Pearl.

Rose was in a very formal looking dress, completely white in color, with frills around the bottom. Peridot wondered why she never wore anything else, but she had a feeling that no other outfit would suit the large woman.

Garnet was wearing a maroon tank top covered by a black leather jacket. Her pants were also leather, and she was wearing boots. Oddly enough, Garnet was the only one wearing shoes. Even Rose was barefoot.

"Hello Peridot. How are you today?" Pearl asked, flicking some ash out the window.

"I'm fine. Why are Garnet and Mrs. Quartz here?"

"We're here because we want to help, too." Garnet said, removing her sunglasses, looking at Peridot with concern. If the blonde didn't know better, she would think that Garnet wore those just for this dramatic affect.

"Yes.." Rose added. "Pearl and Amethyst told Garnet everything, and Garnet told me. I think that what you're doing, trying to get help, is a wonderful thing. I want to help you as well."

Peridot sighed. She didn't want so many people to know what she did. At least they kept this information from Jasper. That brute would probably lose her shit and beat up the blonde for cutting herself.

"So.." Amethyst started sitting up from her position on the bed. "Do you have it?"

Slowly, Peridot reached into her pajama pocket and pulled out the infamous razor blade. She walked forward, placing it in Amethyst's outstretched hand.

Everyone in the room smiled. Peridot got rid of it so easily, without hesitation. It seems she finally kicked her habit.

"I used it the day you gave it to me."

Everyone's smile immediately went sour. Peridot backed away from Amethyst after giving her the razor, looking at everyone in the room.

Amethyst and Pearl had the same look of disappointment on their faces, as if they had failed a very important task. Garnet looked stoic. Peridot found it hard to get a read on her. And Rose.. well she just looked sad.

"I'm not going to make any excuses." Peridot started, calm and complex. "But I can say that I'll never touch the razor again. I know I won't."

"How do you know that?" Rose asked. Her voice was so calm, almost soothing.. understanding.

"Because I haven't used it since. I, um.." Peridot paused, a small blush rising in her cheeks. She was fine telling Pearl and Amethyst, but Garnet and Rose were a different story.

"I told Lapis how I feel. We're together now."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Rose said with enthusiasm. Garnet gave the dean a rather stern look, but Rose didn't seem to notice, or pretended not to. In her mind, being supportive in anything helped. And it did.

"Heh, yeah." Peridot chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. "I want to apologize, first of all. It happened last week."

The blonde prepared to go into her explanation, and everyone listened intently.

"When.. when Pearl and Amethyst told me that Lapis had feelings for me after I had told them I had feelings for her, I went back to our room and confessed. She reciprocated my feelings. It was after that moment that I injured myself."

At this, Peridot grabbed the hem of her tee shirt, pulling it over her head and off of her body. Gasps filled the room as everyone saw the red marks on Peridot's body. There were almost too many to count. Peridot had removed her bandages earlier, as her cuts had scabbed over. There was no need for the bandages anymore. Peridot continued.

"I was so overcome with emotion. It was hard to think, hard to breathe. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack." The blonde looked down at her hand, her other hand holding onto her shirt. "I've never felt so alive afterwards. When I came out of the bathroom, and Lapis was sitting there, waiting on me because she thought I was.. you know, actually using the bathroom, I felt so happy." Peridot closed her hand, looking back up at everyone watching her.

"I felt so happy, but not once this week have I felt the need to hurt myself. I'm still happy.. happy to be with her. And I don't think that I'll be doing anything else to my body."

She stopped talking. Peridot was finished.

Everyone was silent, for a time. In this silence, Peridot put her shirt back on her body. She felt no shame, no disappointment in herself. Even though she had a moment of weakness the week before, the blonde felt that she would be strong from now on. She was sure of it.

"So you're telling us.." Amethyst started, standing up from her bed. "..that you think that you're completely cured, that your little episode after confessing to Lapis was your last one, that you feel like everything is fine and dandy, because we told you that Lapis liked you." Peridot nodded.

"..I'm gonna be a damn good psychiatrist."

These words brought everyone from their silence. Pearl smiled widely behind her mouth, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Garnet smiled in satisfaction, though in her mind, she was still skeptical. You never know for sure. Amethyst had her hands on her hips, her own lips pulled into a wide smile. And Rose.. she stood up and walked forward, wrapping her arms around Peridot.

"I'm so proud that you think that.. But if you ever feel like you need help again, we'll always be here for you."

Peridot returned the hug to the large woman, sighing in the embrace. Normally, when she felt emotion, that familiar panic would rise in her chest. But that panic was replaced with a much stronger, warmer feeling.. All Peridot had to do was accept that her emotions were inevitable.

There is no one on this planet that can escape their feelings. To feel is one of the best parts about being human. Sadness, happiness, anger.. it was all necessary, Peridot knew that now.

"Thank you." Peridot whispered, tears forming in her eyes. "Thank all of you."

Author's Note:

The next and final chapter of this story is going to take place in the time of the week where Lapis and Peridot confessed to each other, and it'll most likely be much longer than the chapters I've been putting out so far. I want to thank you all for joining me on this feels trip. I had a lot of fun writing this, and I'll be sure to write more Lapis x Peridot stories in the future. Who knows? Maybe I'll bounce around. An Amethyst x Peridot here, a Pearl x Lapis there, etc. I just love writing, and I'll be happy to write whatever anybody wants me to. If anyone has any suggestion for what they wants to see after I finish this story, please don't hesitate to tell me. As always, so long for now.