Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Grey's Anatomy or Shonda, but I wish I was!
I hope you guys enjoyed the last chapter. I'm so glad you guys are loving Maria and that she reminds you of your Nana's. She's totally based of my grandma and let me tell you, we all must of had (have) amazing gradma's.
Chapter 64
Callie, Arizona and Maria had spent the afternoon out and about after the elders doctors appointment. After several breathing tests, Dr. Syner, himself told the younger Latina that Maria didn't need to use her breathing machine any longer unless she felt winded and officially declared her fit as a fiddle. After receiving the exciting news, Callie insisted on taking the women out of some frozen yogurt before taking a drive up the coast.
Callie was speeding down the highway with the wind whipping through their hair when Maria grabbed the wheel and steered them to the off-ramp. "Nana!" The brunette said, getting the car under control. "What are you doing?" She asked, slowing the T-bird. "Are you okay? Is your leg hurting?" She questioned her grandmother.
"I'm fine. I just thought we could have a little fun." She pointed to the miniature golf course on the right side of the road. "Before going back to the dungeon.. I mean your fathers house."
"Nana.." She laughed. "You can't play golf.. your leg."
"Calliope." Maria smiled, taking the sunglasses and scarf off her head. "I love you sweetie, you know that right?"
"Yes, I know that." Callie said, glancing in the rearview mirror at her wife in the back seat. Arizona jumped in the back seat when they started the day out even though Maria persisted that she sit up front with her wife. Arizona wanted Callie and Maria to have some quality time so she refused to ride shotgun and just enjoyed the day quietly in the back seat. Callie was grateful that her wife was so fun loving, carefree and she especially loved how well she and her Nana got along so well even though at times they would gang up on her.
"Good, now that you know that.. if you want to be a stick in the mud like your father and not let me have a little fun once in a while you can sit in the car while Arizona and myself go play a round of golf."
Callie just sat their with her mouth hung opened stunned at her grandma. "Nana, I.. I'm just worried about you... that's all."
"And I appreciate it, but I can't stop living my life because someone thinks I'll get hurt." Maria said. "Do you remember when you had a circus party on your seventh birthday? And you fell off the horse and had to go to the emergency room because you broke your arm? You wouldn't let anyone hold you but me and then the next day you were determined to get back up. You didn't shut up until father took you to ride a horse. Do you think I wanted you to get back up there and try to ride again?
"No." Callie said quietly as Arizona looked on from the back seat.
"I didn't, but you insisted even though I was worried you'd fall off again. But you didn't, you got back up on that horse and showed him who was boss with just one arm. I fell Calliope, let me get back up."
"I'm sorry. I just.. I love you and want I want to take care of you."
"I know you do and I love you too, but that doesn't mean you have to take care of me. I'm a grown ass woman, so come have fun with me. Let's go make some memories." She said,
"You're right, I'm sorry.." Callie said, hugging her grandmother. "I don't want to hold you down."
"It's okay." Maria said, kissing her hair. "You know even after all this time she's still my baby." She said looking back at Arizona.
"She may be..." Arizona said, leaning up to grab her wife's hand. "But she's mine too.." She winked.
"But she's been mine way longer..." Maria winked.
"Alright alright..." Callie said, sitting up. This is not competition. I'm both of yours." Callie laughed, putting the car back in drive and pulling the car to the parking lot of the establishment.
"Let's go have some fun." Arizona said, jumping out of the back of the convertible to open the door for Maria.
"Thank you my dear."
"You're welcome.." Arizona smiled with a wink as they made their way inside.
"Wait for me..." Callie said, catching up and grabbing her wife's hand.
Turning, Arizona gave her a dimpled smile. "You know.." She leaned in to whisper. "You behind that wheel.. Fucking. Hot." She breathed before kissing her on the temple as they made their way to play a round.
During the rest of their outing, Callie couldn't have been more happier even if she tried. She had the two most important, most amazing women in her life and the whole afternoon she couldn't wipe the grin off her face. After returning back home just in time for dinner, Callie knew she would be interrogated by her father.. and she was because she had Maria out so long when she should be home resting in his opinion. But after telling her father to back off his mother and let her be, insisting that she move back into her place, they enjoyed a nice dinner together along with Aria and James.
After getting their stomachs full, they all conjured out on the veranda while Carlos lit a small fire in the pit to roast some s'mores on. After enjoying their treat and a little small talk, everyone slowly began calling it a night as Aria and Arizona continued bantering about her upcoming wedding plans as Callie took a phone call.
"Who was that?" Arizona asked as Callie walked up to them.
"Oh.. uh.. it was Addie." She said, nervously playing with the phone in her hand. It didn't go unnoticed by the blonde.
"Something wrong?" Arizona asked.
"No.. no, she just wanted to check up and see how Nana was doing."
"Okay..." Arizona said furrowing her brows. "You okay?"
"Yea, yeah. I'm good." She gave her a half smile. "Will uh... would you like to take a walk?" She asked pointing down at the beach. After her and Addison's talk she really needed to discuss their issues once and for all.
"Sure." Her wife said standing up. "Want to go change into some sweats first? I want out of these jeans."
"I bet you do..." Aria smirked.
"Not now Aria!" Callie glared.
"Callie?" Arizona whispered. It wasn't like her wife to snap at her sister like that. The brunette had been in a good mood before talking to Addison but since hanging up she has been acting nervous.
"Sorry.. I just... have some things on my mind." She said, scratching her forehead. "Sorry, Aria."
"It's okay Cal." Aria said standing from her seat.
"Honey, you ready?" James asked, poking his head out of the french doors.
"Yeah, babe." She told him. "I'll see you guys tomorrow?"
"Yeah. How about we take that airboat tour tomorrow?" Callie asked, feeling bad for snapping at her sister.
"Sounds good.. Just let me know for sure. Love you guys." Aria said walking into the house.
"Love you too, sis."
"So.." Arizona said placing her hoodie on her head to keep the wind from whipping her blonde locks around. They had walked down to the guest house to change into sweats before making their way down by the ocean. She knew Callie wanted to talk about the elephant in the room, but after her call she was acting strange and she wanted to know Iwhy.
"So..." Callie said, digging her bare foot in the sand. She had not said much since before changing.
"Callie, what did Addison say? Don't tell me nothing because you've been acting different since hanging up with her." Arizona finally spoke up, putting her hands in her pockets of her sweatshirt.
"It wasn't nothing. I'll tell you in a minute, cause right now." Callie said, placing her hood over her head just like her wife. "I just want to thank you for being here for me today. I honestly think that if it wasn't for you, I still wouldn't have seen my grandma today, and I wouldn't know that she's perfectly fine right now. So I just want to thank you." She said, nervously. She knew this talk would either make or break their baby planning.
"You don't have to thank me, it's my job. You'd do the same for me."
"Yeah but you were mad... are mad, Arizona." She shrugged. "And you put that aside to be there for me even when I had been an ass."
"You're my wife Callie. No matter how pissed I am, I'm not going to just sit there while you through a tough time alone."
"Did you mean it?" Callie asked, seeing her wife was confused. "Did you really mean that we'd name our first baby after my grandma?" She stopped to look at her wife.
"Our first girl? Of course I meant it, if you agree too. I told you.. I had gave this a lot of thought." Arizona replied. "But.. I'm going to be honest with you Callie." She said, taking a deep breath. "I don't know if I want this anymore.. Not right now at least."
There it was, the words that Callie had been expecting to hear since her talk with Teddy the other night. Hearing her wife say that made her heart immediately dropped to her stomach. Wiping away tears that collected in her eyes, Callie nodded her head in understanding. What could she say? It was all her fault that Arizona was second guessing this now and she had no right being upset over it, but she couldn't help it. Looking away from the blonde, Callie sniffed before she responded.
"Callie." Arizona said softly, beating her to the punch. Tugging on her arm to get her to turn back around.
"No, don't apologize, not for something I did." The brunette said, shaking her head. "It's my fault, I was the one who made you change your mind. There's no one to blame here but myself." She said, looking out into the ocean, trying her best to hold her tears in. "Addison said... you had rescheduled the appointment." She said, tightening her jaws.
"I did." She confirmed quietly as she stood behind her wife. "I tried to tell you but you didn't give me a chance to tell you before you blew up."
"Yeah." She scoffed at herself. "I don't even know what to say.. I feel like I'm always messing things up because I don't take time to process stuff sometimes. I just get mad and say the first thing that comes to mind."
"You don't mess things up." Arizona said placing her hands on her wife's arms from behind. "I told you, you fixed me. You made me whole." She said, caressing her hands down her wife's arms.
"I messed this up, I hurt you." She said as Arizona moved to stand in front of her to wiped her tears away. "You may not have told me that until this morning, but I saw it in your eyes when I said that I knew you'd change your mind. I just had to get out of there because I saw the hurt and it hurt my heart so much, so I ran off to the bathroom." She sniffed, looking up at watery blue eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to talk, but I couldn't stand the hurt I caused so I had to leave." She cried as Arizona pulled her into a hug. "I ran off to the bathroom and stayed for.. I don't know how long, until one of the nurses found me." She had cried her eyes out right after leaving her office, completely forgetting about her surgery yet again. After she had returned home that night, Callie was ashamed of all that she had said.
"I wish I would have known.." Arizona whispered as she hugged her wife. She knew Callie had a tendency of over reacting, but the blonde had never been on that side of her wrath before. "You had a lot going on Callie, I told you I've forgiven you, you need to do the same."
"I wasn't even that mad at you." She pulled back to look at the blonde. As her hoodie fell from her head, causing her hair to blow freely in the wind. "I was just distant because I knew you were mad and I couldn't handle it. So I just wanted to give you some space."
"I wasn't mad, I was hurt." She said in honesty. "Hurt for what you said, hurt because I knew you were worried sick and hurting over Maria and that's understandable. But I don't understand it Callie.. after all the things we've been through, how come talking about a baby is the hardest thing we've done?"
"I don't know..." Callie sighted, sitting down in the sand and wiping her face dry with the sleeve of her shirt.
"At times I think we're not ready for this Callie." The blonde said, sitting down beside her. "Don't get me wrong.. I am so so in love with you and am the happiest I have ever been because I get to call you my wife." She said, taking her wife's hand. "And if something were to ever happen to you, I would never find someone else. Why try to find love again when you've already had the best. But since we've been married it seems like we're always fighting, mainly about this and I can't help but wonder..." She said, turning away from her wife to wipe away the tear that fell from her face.
"Wonder what, Arizona?" Callie said, her heart rate beginning to pick up in her chest because she feared what her wife's next words could be. "Have I made you doubt my lov..." But she was cut off by her wife.
"Do you resent me?" She sniffed, turning back towards Callie. She couldn't help this feeling she had since Callie had left for Miami yesterday morning.
"What?" The brunette didn't know what in the world her wife was getting at. "Baby.. How could you think that?"
"Did I rush you into marrying me... after my proposal? Because we never fought Callie. We didn't.. not like this anyway.. Not until we were married. We never said things to hurt the other one purposely."
"Arizona..." Callie whispered sadly, caressing her wife's hand. "I didn't set out to hurt you on purpose, baby. I know.. I know it seems like I did and if I were in your shoes I would feel like you do I'm sure, but I wasn't thinking when I said that. You have to believe me."
"But we can't even have a discussion about it without the other throwing accusations and I don't..." She said looking down the sand.
"Don't what?" The brunette asked before Arizona could even finish her sentence.
"I.. I don't want to have a baby anymore..." She said, looking up into glistening brown eyes. "Not if all we do is fight. I don't want to fight with you anymore, Calliope. I can't do it, it hurts too much. So..." She said fighting back the tears. "..if not having a baby will stop the fighting then so be it."
"Arizona, no. Don't say that. Just.. just let me tell you how I feel before you say something like that. Okay?" Callie said, moving to sit in front of her wife. "And then after you hear me out.. If that's what you really want.. we'll cross that bridge, but please baby. Hear me out."
"Okay.." Arizona said, taking the hair tie out of her pocket to pull back her hair back.
"First off.. I can't even fathom why you would feel like I resent you for getting married? I love you with every fiber of my being and marrying you was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yeah we were only engaged for seven months but so what? I wanted to marry you the day you asked. So, don't ever ever think I regret our wedding day."
"Not the wedding day... it was perfect.. but should we have held off and waited for another year? Something's changed since we've been married. And it's not how we feel about each other because if anything it's stronger, but something's different and I don't know why?"
"Of course something different. Every thing has changed Arizona. We are tied together for life now, we're not just girlfriends living together anymore. I can't just up and decided, I've had my fun with you I'm moving on to the next person. When I said I do.. I committed my life to you forever. Not for a year or five years or until a fight sets me off. I'm in this until I die. Tell me you are too.." She knew her wife was too but she wanted to hear it right now.
"Of course I am, there's never been a question of that." Arizona replied.
"That's why everything's changed, Arizona. I feel different. I'm a completely different person now that I'm married to you. The way i hold your hand, the way i kiss you, the way I love you, the way I make love to you.. even the way I fight with you. It's all different. Because we now have a more deeper connection than before. And I know you feel it too Arizona."
"I do.."
"That's what's different babe, we're just more passionate about every thing in our lives. And right now in this very moment is the least I'll love you, because I love you more and more every single day. So I don't ever want to hear you say I resent you for making me the happiest woman in the world, with or without a child. Do you hear me?" She said cupping her wife's jaw.
Nodding, "You've made me whole too, I've already told you that."
"I know..." Callie smiled and pecked her
pink lips. "Now that we got that out of the way." She smiled. "I want to explain something."
"Callie.."
"Just let me explain myself, please?"
"Okay.."
"When we were in the tub on our honeymoon, you told me you were ready to have a baby... Do you know how you made me feel?" Callie asked her wife.
"I... honestly don't know? Happy?" She didn't know because she thought Callie would squeal with happiness and thought her wife would want to be knocked up before they even left Paris, but she was the opposite and that confused her.
"Unbelievably, out of my mind, insanely happy, Arizona. I tried not to show it, because I know there was a time in your life that you said you never wanted kids. I've never tried to change your mind on that. It didn't matter to me, I mean of course I wanted kids, but I wanted you more and I still do, but you changed your mind on your own and you told me that you saw everything with me."
"I do, Calliope. I wanted everything with you from the moment we said we'd give our relationship a try at the river." Arizona said after her wife cupped her face.
"I did too. And when you said that in Paris, I won't lie." Callie said, caressing her wife's cheek with the pad of her thumb. "I was caught of guard but I was so happy. I know you had said you wanted kids, we've talked about it several times. But I was shocked that you were ready so soon." Callie said, retaking her wife's hands. "I'm ready, baby. I was ready when you said you were. I was afraid that you were just riding high from everything that was going on with the wedding and all. So I said I wasn't. I just wanted to give you time to make sure that this is what you wanted. It was hard, but I did it. And then Robbin was born at the clinic and I knew you were ready. I saw the look in your eyes when you held that baby girl and I couldn't help but think that was our baby you were holding.
"You did?" Arizona whispered with tears brimming her eyes again.
"Yes." Callie said, wiping the blondes eyes dry.
"I did too.. With you I mean. When you held Robbin I couldn't help but envy Melinda. I wished that it was our baby you were holding."
"Me too... Come here." Callie said, pulling Arizona to sit on her lap. "I waited to tell you, because I wanted it to be special and what's more special than Christmas morning?"
"It was special." Arizona smiled, adjusting herself in Callie's lap. "I was very surprised." She laughed, draping her arm around her wife's shoulders.
"I want this Arizona. And I know you do too.. or did until I was an ass." Callie said, meeting her eyes. "It's your choice, if you don't want to try right now we won't. But if you do, know that I'm all in, honey. I won't be upset if you decide that now is not the time and if you decide it is, I'll be over the moon." She said as the blonde rested her head on hers.
"It shouldn't just be my choice whether we do this or not, Callie." She said, running her fingers through her wife's hair.
"It's not. I'm letting you know that I am ready to have a baby with you now or five years from now... or both." The brunette gave a small laugh. "But if you decided now is not the time.. I'll be all for that too." Callie said in all honestly. Yeah, she really wanted to have a baby right now, but if Arizona had changed her mind and decided now isn't the time, she would be okay with that also. "So I'm asking you, Arizona." She said, wrapping her arm around the blondes waist and resting her left hand in her wife's lap. "Lets have a baby?" She asked, looking up into damp blue eyes.
14 days!
Time for some baby making. Whose ready?
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Until Monday... :)