A/N: this is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions, enjoy!
No. Emma Swan, you don't just get to do that. You don't just get to give up. No.
She watches as the letter crumbles in to a million tiny fragments, her magic fuelling the grip she once had on the tangible paper- now just another element in the air around her head.
No.
She has had enough of sorrow. She has had enough of always being on the cusp of happiness before someone or something destroys it. Regina used to destroy happiness. Now she's had her life trampled on, flipped over, crumpled and rewritten like a crappy poem that never quite seems to rhyme. She let herself believe in the possibility of a happy ending; something, ironically, Emma had taught her once long ago.
She watches the clouds as they spike the sky; a drunken attempt to shield the sun from emergence. No. Her happiness had been deprived from her for far too long. She was a Queen. Despite her broken crown, she was a Queen none the less. And she wasn't just going to cry anymore. Her tears have dried, leaving an emptiness that begs to be filled.
And if Emma Swan can't fill it, maybe anger can.
Yes.
Regina yanks open the car door, inhaling the freshly espoused oxygen as her veins shiver with magic. And if feels so good. Too good. Power. Her fingers hover over the air like a pianist about to attack the keys. She summons a fireball to her palm and watches as the flames lick the surrounding picket fence of Emma's house. Laughter emits from her mouth as the reflection in her pupils emulates that of the sun- an angry sun. She's making music and it's liberating.
She only sees pain as she lashes at the prison that is keeping her Emma. She has loved for far too long and still Emma Swan thinks it is okay to rescue her heart only to crush it once more. She thinks of the villages that fell at her command, the men that would cower in her wake but mostly she thinks of the ghost of a life that persisted on slipping through her fingers. Daniel. Robin. Emma. Emma. Emma.
The building is engulfed with flames but she doesn't stay to watch it burn, instead she turns on her heel and walks away. She's watched her failures for long enough- this is her turn to be in charge: to wear the crown. Storybrooke is too tranquil, too ordinary and she's raging, aching for a fight that demands only one opponent. Fire trails behind her as she steams through the street. You will notice me, Emma. This is her town and they will remember.
Granny's is beginning to blossom in to life: the first few threads of morning breakfasters arriving for coffee and pancakes. Why can their life go on yet mine can't? Why did I have to fall in love with Emma Swan?
Because she's everything. And you can't have everything.
Regina growls and forces open the diner's door without a physical touch. She surveys the startled faces and stalks to the counter, a predator hungry for a prey she can never have. Not anymore.
"Regina what are y-"
"Shut up," she hisses, grabbing at the older woman's apron and yanking Granny toward her, "Where is she?"
Granny pushes her back.
"How dare you! I am-"
"You're Regina Mills and you're using dark magic so I suggest you get the hell out of my diner before I call Robin!"
Regina's lip quivers in rage at his name. "He's not the boss of me," she snarls. She doesn't care anymore. She doesn't care about how far she's come or how much she's changed; all she cares about is how she's tired of losing. And that she wants to win. "NOBODY IS THE BOSS OF ME!" she's screaming at them, repressed rage at a life a far cry from poetic.
"Regina."
And her magic dissipates in a single word. Emma.
"Stop. Regina, stop."
The other woman flicks her wrist and they're enveloped in a charcoal smoke, and all Regina can see is Emma and pain and fire.
…
Regina has always found solitude at the docks. She enjoys the constant motion of the waves and the distant light of something on the horizon, reminding her that she is simply a small part of a much bigger plan. Today she is shivering because Emma Swan, her everything, is standing a metre away from her.
"Thank you for setting fire to my house, nice touch," the blonde quips with a hardened glare fixated on Regina.
She straightens and curls her tongue. "No thank you, Miss Swan. You really know how to mess up someone's life, don't you?"
Emma's expression clouds, "Oh, are we not on first name terms anymore? I thought we were closer than that, Madame Mayor."
"That depends. Does Emma still love me or is it just the Dark One that doesn't?"
The blonde flinches but Regina only intensifies her stare. She has to remain stable otherwise she'll break again, and this time she may never be able to piece herself together.
"So you read my letter. I bet that hurt," she takes a step forward, her breath tickling Regina's ear as she hisses, "Do you think Robin will kiss it better?"
"No."
"Oh, so now you understand? Now you can see. Now you want me. Well I'm sorry, Regina, but sometimes love hurts."
"BUT I DON'T LOVE ROBIN!" Her scream shatters the façade that the Dark One has so carefully mastered.
"THEN WHY DID YOU CHOOSE HIM?"
Regina opens her mouth, then clamps it shut again, fumbling for words she cannot express. She sighs then lowers her tone, "Because he was safe. Because I was scared. Emma… Emma I'm scared of loving you. I'm scared I'm never going to be enough for you. I still don't understand how you could ever have loved me? And those letters, those beautiful letters…. I can't…. I just don't know how to be that person you fantasise!"
"Don't you see? You were that person. Regina, those letters were the truth. I couldn't help loving you because you were you and you were everything."
The brunette chokes when she hears that last line. And she wants it so badly, her happiness, and to hear Emma- to hear EMMA- say those words is enough to shatter the foundation she has built her anger upon. Fragility is her cloud and she's storming.
But Emma just watches her. She watches her shake and crumble as love is whole universe away from loved. Everyone knows that the Dark One's walls are impenetrable.
"Emma-" Regina strains- "You were- you are- everything too- and I- I love you!" And she finds herself smiling between tears because she does and it has never felt so right to form those words with her lips. So she says it again, and again, louder and louder until she can enunciate each word with a clarity that eradicates any hesitation. "I. Love. You."
Emma closes her eyes as several tears begin to mar her chalky complexion. She is shaking her head as if each "I love you" is separate stab.
"Regina, stop."
"No, Emma. It's true. I won't stop and I can't stop."
"Regina, stop."
"I love you, Emma Swan. " And she grabs Emma's cold, cold hands.
"REGINA, STOP!" Emma is shaking, screaming at her whilst Regina just smiles and smiles because it is Emma and she needs her.
"Emma, you saved me. I need you!"
"WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST SEE THAT I NEEDED SAVING!?"
And the Dark One disappears, leaving Regina standing at the docks, her hands still holding the ghost of Emma's.
…
She writes Emma's name over and over before deciding on a suitable cursive. The thing with Emma is that she herself can tell a thousand stories just by being. And to capture that in a single word, a name, just seems impossible. So Regina wrote it like she was writing her last ever word because, maybe, she was.
Her pen nib halts at the comma, suddenly all too aware that what must follow could be an end or a beginning. This was her first chapter, yet it was also her last and Regina wasn't ready to close the book. Emma is an aggregation of things, of everything, and the brunette can't even begin to string infinity in to a single sentence.
And then she realises. Folding the piece of paper several times over before slipping it into an envelope, Regina can feel her pulse hammering once again, demanding an attention only one person can give. Emma. She takes the long route to Emma's mansion, assuming it has been restored from the ashes by a quick nod of the powerful sorceress' head. She walks slowly up the path for a second time in the space of a few hours, carefully making each footstep another inch towards her happiness. And when she knocks, this time the door opens.
She places the envelope in Emma's hand and glances shyly up at the other woman.
"Hi."
Because Regina realised that this wasn't about her. This was about Emma. This was about Emma's happy ending. A happy ending she deserved from the moment she arrived on Regina's doorstep all those years ago. This wasn't about Regina needing Emma; this was about Emma needing Regina. And upon this realisation, Regina had known exactly what to write in that letter.
Dear Emma,
Let me save you.
Regina
A/N: We have reached the end but an epilogue will be up very soon. I really hope this was a satisfactory end to our letter love story BUT as I said, there will be another chapter : ) Thank you so much for all your reviews so far- they have really helped me with my writing and character development. Fun fact: right from chapter one, I had known that I was going to end with Regina writing that letter. Please let me know what you thought, thank you so so so much (I am overwhelmed with the response).
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