Here's part 2 of the update! I'm sorry I didn't post these a while ago. Make sure you read Chapter 25 which I just posted to understand what's going on.
It had been three days since Emma had come to Thrain. It was not the kindest place Emma had been but the experience was not entirely unpleasant. Though Emma did not like being the center of attention, there were perks to having every member of the family attempting to seal her union to Orrin. Her opinion was asked for most everything and her every need was attended to. Orrin attempted to rescue her from the experience that was his family as frequently as he could but Emma found the information she garnered from the royal family valuable.
For all his family's shortcomings Orrin was a gracious host and good friend. Distracting her from her problems and acting as a sounding board as she tried to figure out what to do. Margaery, despite her seeming untrustworthiness, made a fine companion as well, seeming to sympathize with Emma's situation and helping her to navigate the political and social culture of Thrain.
The day was warm enough for the inhabitants of the palace to venture outside comfortably and Orrin had decided to show Emma the place he considered his safe haven. He took her to the topmost part of the tower and led her up a narrow stairwell to a door at the top that opened out into a small balcony. The mountain surrounded them on both sides but the view was spectacular, allowing them to see over the mountains and hills of the kingdom.
"I can see why you like this place." Emma looked around. There was silence and stillness this high up the mountain. It was still cold but the dress and heavy cloak Margaery had lent her kept her warm against the chill in the air.
"It's a respite from the craziness of the palace life." Orrin leaned against the balcony railing. "I don't feel like a prince when I'm up here. I just feel…"
"Like yourself." Emma answered.
Orrin looked at her, surprised. "Yes. Not many people get that answer."
"Because part of your identity is a prince." Emma nodded. "What you really mean is that your responsibilities and titles and expectations melt away and you can find who you are at your core."
"That is it exactly." Orrin seemed impressed. "You are full of surprises Emma."
Emma smiled at him before looking out over the view, appreciating the calm the silence provided her. She could feel Orrin watching her and slowly she returned his gaze.
"My god," Orrin sighed. "I wish you were more unattractive."
"You wish I were more unattractive?" Emma laughed.
"Then it would make it easier to do the opposite of what my father says in every way." Orrin continued.
"You are referring to becoming engaged to me." Emma clarified.
"Yes." Orrin nodded. "If you were unattractive and awkward and unbearable it would not be an issue for me to resist you. I wish you could be opposite in every way."
"So you wish I was an ugly brunette who is shy and timid and boring?" Emma asked with a smirk. "Who never breaks the rules and has no concept of war or ability to fight."
"Basically" Orrin grinned. "Awkward at conversation. It would help if you had a snaggle tooth as well."
"Oh really." Emma laughed.
"Of course then if you were completely opposite you'd be able to read social cues so…" Orrin joked.
"Silence Prince Orrin." Emma commanded good-naturedly. "I am still your social superior."
"But we have the advantage of being in my kingdom." Orrin countered.
"But you are tasked with winning my hand." Emma challenged.
"Touche." Orrin conceded. "So, you believe you are a stunning blonde who is bold, outspoken, exciting and understands the finer intricacies of war? That is pretty vain."
"You are the one that wished I were unattractive." Emma pointed out.
"Fair enough." Orrin held up his hands in defeat. "And you certainly are exciting."
"It comes from not following the rules." Emma shrugged. "I do not always do what is expected of me. "
"I think that is what I like most about you." Orrin said.
"I am done with letting the expectations and opinions of others rule my life." Emma said firmly. "From now on I am making decisions for myself."
"I wish I had the ability to refuse to do what is expected of me." Orrin sighed. "I may not agree with what my father wants me to do but the power he holds over my life gives me no choice in the matter."
Emma looked her companion carefully, studying his features. "Maybe not every plan he has for you is wrong." Emma slowly closed the gap between the two. Her lips met his as the two engaged in a kiss.
After a moment Orrin pushed her away gently, sighing. "Your father wouldn't want this."
"What about what I want?" Emma asked. "That doesn't seem to matter to anyone."
"It matters to me." Orrin said. "That is why I'm doing this. You don't really want this."
"How do you know?" Emma asked.
"Everything I know about you tells me you do not want this life for yourself. And I don't want to subject you to a lifetime of involvement with those people." Orrin shook his head. "Emma I'm not going to let you make a decision you're going to later regret because your emotions are clouding your judgment. I care too much about you for that."
"You just met me." Emma pointed out. "How could you care about me?"
"There's something about you that draws me in. I don't know what it is and I wish it did not exist for it is not good for me to be with you." Orrin explained. "Regardless of what I want, giving my father access in power over your kingdom is wrong. I cannot convince myself to pull you into this world."
Emma sighed, running her fingers through her hair, knowing Orrin was right. "Why do you have to be such a good guy?"
"I have not often been accused of that crime." Orrin joked bitterly.
"Well it's true." Emma told him, stepping back to put more space between them. "You are a good person. If you were the man your father wanted you to be you would have taken advantage of my vulnerability and manipulated my dependence on you."
"You could never be dependent on me." Orrin told her. "You are far to strong for something like that. Stronger than Margaery and my mother, though they would never admit it. They are dependent on power for their happiness and that requires them to be dependent on their men. But you, you find your happiness and your worth elsewhere. I admire that."
Emma looked back over the land, surprised to spot a riding party approaching the castle. "Your father did not mention visitors."
"We were not supposed to have any." Orrin shook his head, watching the riders. "What is that sigil?"
Emma eyed the banner closely, trying to get a better look. The color and the rough outline of the sigil struck a cord with her. She slowly felt her stomach sink.
"Emma?" Orrin asked. "Isn't that the sigil of the royal house of Eirian?"
Emma didn't look at him as she replied. "It is."
"I thought you said they didn't know where you were?" Orrin asked.
"They did not." Emma answered.
"Well they have found you." Orrin said.
"Not necessarily." Emma turned to him. "Your family agreed to keep my presence here quiet.
"Do you really think that will work?" Orrin asked. "The servants talk."
"They are all terrified of your father and will do what he orders." Emma pointed out.
"You make a fair point." Orrin agreed. "My family benefits by your presence here. I believe they will keep your privacy."
"Good." Emma nodded. "I just need to stay out of sight."
"We cannot stay here." Orrin opened the door.
"Why not?" Emma asked as she followed him down the steep staircase, trying to avoid falling over her dress.
"When members of other royal houses visit court, expected or unexpected, all members of the royal family are expected to be present, Margaery and Jeyne included. It will be suspicious if I am missing, especially as it is a known fact my father primary focus is my union to you. They will be looking for me. I must go."
"Orrin." Emma protested.
"Wait in my chambers." Orrin told her. "Everything will be all right."
"Orrin." Emma sighed as the prince disappeared down the hallway. She knew she should do what he asked and wait in his chambers but something in her needed to see what was going on. Her few days in the castle had allowed time to familiarize herself with a few of its hiding place. The great hall had many. Taking the chance she used her memory to make her way to a tiny alcove that opened into one of the highest walls of the great hall, allowing her to survey the activity below.
The royal family had assembled in front of their thrones. Helena stood to Angharad's left while his successor stood at his right hand. Emma watched the entrance as her father's bannermen were escorted through, followed by some of his most trusted soldiers, and finally her parents. She spotted Daniel amongst the group, knowing instantly it was his deductive skills that had allowed her to be found.
"James, Snow." Angharad acknowledged the royal couple. "To what do we owe this pleasure?"
"We are looking for our daughter." James spoke. "She left our castle a few nights ago and has not been heard from since."
"My condolences." Angharad's tone did not reveal any knowledge of Emma's whereabouts.
"You must be beside yourselves." Helena spoke with insincere sympathy. "But may I ask why you are here?"
"Have you seen her?" James asked. "We believe she may have come here looking for refuge."
"I do not know why Emma would come to us." Helena replied. "We have not had contact with her since her return. Only Margarey, Rhys, and Orrin attended her ball. As far as we were told none of them had contact with her."
"She and Orrin had a long conversation that night." Snow looked at the prince.
"That is not what he told us." Angharad gave his son a look that appeared to be disapproving. Emma was amazed with the ease this group lied. "Have you checked her home in the other world… Altair?"
"She is not there either." Daniel spoke up. "They said she left very upset and have been unable to track her whereabouts since."
"I am deeply sorry for your troubles." Helena looked at the couple. "But if I am not mistaken, this is not the first time Emma has disappeared and from what I understand she remained hidden for ten years before."
"And we do not want to repeat that." James spoke sharply, clearly displeased with Helena's comment.
"Well I am sorry we cannot be of any help to you." Angharad said simply. "It sounds like your daughter is well traveled amongst the realms. Perhaps she has taken refuge in one of them."
"Her entrance, nor the entrance of anyone matching her description, has not been logged anywhere." Daniel replied.
"I'm sure there are lands where records of those entering and exiting are not so closely monitored." Angharad replied tersely, not liking the tone of voice the untitled boy was taking with him.
Snow turned to Orrin with a pleading look. Emma was surprised to see true pain in the woman's eyes. "Orrin if you hear anything from her. Please notify us. We just want to bring her home."
Orrin did not reply, simply nodding, but Emma could see the regret behind his mask of indifference.
"I really do hope you can reunite with your daughter." Margaery said kindly. "From what I saw she was a beautiful and lovely girl. You must be very proud."
"We are." Snow's voice sounded sincere. "We love her and just want her to come home."
"Our sympathy is with you." Margaery assured them.
"I am sorry we cannot do more to help." Rhys added. "If we hear anything we will let you know."
"Thank you." James nodded, looking crestfallen as he and his wife turned to depart.
Orrin watched the party leave closely. When they neared the exit he called out. "Wait."
James and Snow turned quickly, as Orrin's family all turned to look at him with various stages of shock and disapproval. "What is it?"
"I do…" Orrin took a deep, shaky breath. "I do know something."
"Orrin." Angharad warned under his breath.
"No father." Orrin's voice was stronger. "I have to do what is right, even if it makes everyone angry with me…. Which this will." He reluctantly turned to James and Snow. "Emma did come to Rohal looking for refuge."
"And did you give it to her?" Snow asked.
Orrin sighed. "We did."
"She's here?" Snow asked in disbelief.
"She is." Orrin nodded. "But she does not wish you to know that. She is upset with you."
"We know that." James said. "We just want the chance to talk to her."
"I cannot promise she will give you that opportunity." Orrin warned them. "It is her choice. We will give her refuge here for as long as she requests it. But I do not think you should have to keep searching and worrying when you have already found her."
"Where is she?" Snow asked.
"She is waiting for me." Orrin replied. "I will go ask if she is willing to see you."
"Orrin." Angharad said angrily.
"Father you cannot force her to love me by manipulating her while she hides from her problems." Orrin stood up to his father. "That won't work with her. She's not someone you can bend to your will. She's smarter and stronger than that."
"I advise you to watch how you speak to me Orrin." Angharad warned.
"I apologize." Orrin lowered his gaze in a show of respect.
Emma decided to return to Orrin's quarters before he returned. She knew she could run but Orrin had said she could remain at Rohal for as long as she wished and she believed his parents would extend to her the same courtesy.
Emma paced Orrin's quarters, waiting for his arrival. When he finally came back he waited in the doorway, looking at Emma nervously.
"You don't have to think of a lie to make up." Emma told him shortly. "I heard everything."
"Good to see you listen." Orrin said sarcastically.
"You cannot order me to do anything." Emma warned.
"I am sorry Emma." Orrin apologized, seeing Emma's angry glare. "I did it because I care about you. I did it because it was the right thing to do."
"Your father lied for me." Emma said sharply.
"Which is exactly why I did not." Orrin explained. "I know you are upset with your family but they came here, they want to fix their mistake. Everything you have ever known, your world, has been torn out from under you. Don't you owe it to yourself figure out what you need to do now?"
"So I'm supposed to do it under their influence?" Emma asked.
"You cannot decide what to do by avoiding your problems." Orrin pointed out. "You need to face them."
Emma put her hands on her hips, pursing her lips to keep from tearing up. "How am I supposed to face the people who abandoned me?"
"From what you told me your father is not the one who abandoned you, who lied to you." Orrin pointed out.
"I suppose not." Emma agreed.
"He came all this way for you." Orrin said gently. "You do not have to speak to your mother if you don't want to. She hurt you, I know that. But she hurt your father as well. You owe it to him to go speak to him, to calm his worries about your safety."
"I need to do what is best for me." Emma argued. "Not what is best for him. As selfish as it is, I need to look out for myself."
"It is best for you to get out of this environment." Orrin replied. "It is poisonous."
"Going somewhere I'm not wanted is poisonous." Emma snapped.
"It cannot be more poisonous than being influenced by these people." Orrin countered. "As flawed as your parents are, they have remorse for their actions. They seem to want to atone for them. I have never received a sincere apology in my entire life from my parents. That is something you should be grateful for.
Emma put her hands over her face and sighed. She remained still for a while, her eyes closed, trying to decide what to do. Finally she let her hands fall. "Fine. I'll do it but I am not pleased about this." She looked at the guard standing near the door. "Can you please tell my father I will see him in the royal family's private welcoming chambers."
The guard looked to Orrin who nodded. "She has that authority."
"I will do that immediately my lady." The guard bowed before taking his leave.
"I am proud of you Emma." Orrin said sincerely.
"Whatever." Emma sighed but a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She took a deep breath, strengthening her resolve and started to walk down the hall in the direction of the welcoming chambers. She turned around, seeing Orrin standing in his doorway watching her. "You are nothing like your father you know. If someone tells you that, take it as a compliment, because it is."
"Is that what you do when people tell you your behavior is not that of a proper princess?" Orrin cracked a smile in an attempt to hide his sadness, knowing in his heart this was goodbye.
"Why do you think they stopped telling me that?" Emma joked, suppressing her own sadness. "Who wants to be proper anyway?"
"Good luck Emma." Orrin said.
"Good luck to you as well Orrin. I hope everything turns out well for you." Emma smiled sadly. "You do truly deserve to be happy. You're not like your family. You are a good person."
Emma turned and slowly made her way to where she knew her father was waiting. She stopped outside of the room straightening up and smoothing out the pale blue dress she wore. She took a deep breath before stepping into the doorway. James looked up, relief in his eyes but he made no move to come to her. His voice shook as he spoke. "Emma."
"Father." Emma acknowledged him.
"I haven't heard that in ten years." James cast his eyes downward.
"Yea well." Emma shrugged. "I didn't call you that before because I didn't remember a life where you were my father."
"And you do now?" James clarified.
"I do." Emma nodded. "It may have only been six years but… there were good memories."
"They are some of my best." James said softly. "Those years were the happiest of my life."
"They were the happiest of mine too." Emma admitted.
"Better than the life you had in Altair?" James asked.
"I had a happy life but…" Emma gave a small shrug. "There was always something not quite right."
"The space your memories left?" James guessed.
"I knew there was something missing." Emma said. "I didn't know what it was but ignoring it didn't make that feeling go away."
"Emma I am so sorry." James apologized to his daughter. "I had no clue."
"I know." Emma looked away. "I realized that when you looked as shocked by the admission as I was."
"The last thing I ever wanted in this world was for you to be hurt." James swore. "I would have died to keep you from pain."
"Well." Emma glanced at the ground. "It looks like it's a little too late for that."
"I know." James said sadly. "I wish I was not responsible for your pain."
"You are not." Emma said.
"You blame your mother?" James asked.
"Don't you?" Emma asked. "I was not the only one hurt in all of this. At least I don't think I was."
"Every moment I was separated from you was agonizing." James promised.
Emma shook her head. "Agonizing… agonizing is growing up believing you weren't loved by your parents. It's finding your home and being told you had a perfect and charmed life with loving parents but knowing something was off and feeling crazy for thinking that. It is finding out that your own parents were terrified of you for something that is not your fault, something they are responsible for giving you. It is discovering that the happiness and love was all just a lie because when push came to shove, your own mother had no problem abandoning you not once, but twice."
"Emma." James protested. "We love you. Your mother made a terrible mistake. One that many find unforgivable."
"Do you forgive her?" Emma asked.
"I'm trying to." James admitted. "I hate what her mistakes cost us and I don't know how to forgive the time I lost with you, my precious little girl. But I love your mother and this doesn't change that."
"I figured." Emma shook her head.
"Emma she is my wife." James explained. "She is the love of my life. We have been through so much together. We've saved each other's lives. We are a part of one another, just as you are part of us."
"You saved each other." Emma said bitterly. "You saved Will. But what about me? No one saved me!" Emma's voice rose. "No one! You wonder why I'm this way? I've always had to save myself."
"I would have given my life to protect you Emma." James begged. "I didn't know. I never knew."
Emma couldn't speak, it was getting harder and harder to hold back the tears. "She left me alone, she abandoned me."
"And I am so sorry about that." James said sincerely. "But I would never abandon you Emma. I love you, so, so much."
"My own mother abandoned me." Emma slipped down the wall, putting her head on her knees. "One of the people who was supposed to love me more than anything…" Emma let out a sob.
"Oh Emma." James walked to his daughter, sitting next to her and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her to him. "I am so sorry you spent all this time feeling unloved."
"I didn't even know why." Emma said miserably. "She took away my memories but she couldn't take away my pain. It was always there. It has been my constant companion."
"I would do anything to take that away." James tried to comfort his daughter.
"I don't know how to get rid of it." Emma admitted.
"We'll find a way." James promised. "Together."
As quickly as Emma's tears had come on they stopped. She pulled away from her father and wiped her tears away. Straightening her dress she stood up. James watched as his daughter locked her emotions away. Trying to control them by refusing to acknowledge them. James sighed and stood up. "Emma what are you doing here."
"I had no where else to go." Emma said simply.
"You always can come home." James told her.
"I don't know what that is anymore." Emma shrugged. "I thought I had two homes but it turns out one shunned me because of my magic while the other wanted to use me as a trophy. I don't think anyone cared about what was best for me. Everyone thought about themselves, their kingdom, what my power might do for them."
"I would be lying if I said that your power never scared me." James admitted. "But my fear was not of you, it was for you, what would happen to you. I was scared magic was going to take my daughter form me, and it was going to be my fault."
"It did take me from you." Emma said quietly.
"It did." James agreed. "But not in the way I thought it would. Regina was right when she said it would hurt more if you left because of your anger at us. I have never known such pain in my entire life as the night you disappeared, knowing that you believed I had rejected you."
Emma looked down, not knowing how to respond.
"Emma." James took a step toward his daughter. "You're hiding here."
"I don't know how to face a life where everything I thought I knew was a lie." Emma bit her lip "Everything is falling apart and I have nothing to hold on to."
"You can hold on to me." James told her. "Because one thing that has not changed is the fact that you are my little girl, and there is nothing in this life that I love more than you. I will always do what is best for you."
"What about your kingdom?" Emma asked.
"I am a father first." James said firmly.
"I don't think I know how to be a daughter anymore." Emma admitted. "I've been more or less in charge of myself for so long, I don't know how to let anyone else take care of me."
"Emma hiding from your problems doesn't make them go away." James said gently.
"It's easier than facing them." Emma shrugged, the tears returning to her eyes despite how hard she tried to fight them off. "I was happy. I didn't know where I came from but I didn't care because my life, my friends, they were good. I was lucky. But I had to go and push everything, to try to get a perfect life but I should have known better. Because behind the beautifully set up lies are the devastating truths and now everything is a mess. I don't know how to deal with this."
"I know you are struggling." James reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. "But you don't have to go through this alone. Come home Emma. I can promise you that I love you, that I have always loved you. Let me be your constant, your strength until you are able to figure this all out. You do not have to go through this pain alone."
Emma shook her head, walking over to a couch and falling into it, dropping her head into her hands. "I just wish I had never asked any of these questions."
"But you did." James followed his daughter, sitting down next to her. "And now the only thing you can do is move forward."
"And you think my childhood home is the best place for that?" Emma looked at him.
"I do." James nodded. "You'll know you have someone who loves you by your side and a best friend who supports you."
"Daniel?" Emma asked.
"He didn't know why you were being lied to." James told her. "He was just doing what he was told. He thought he was protecting you. He wants to stay and support you through this."
"What about her?" Emma asked.
"Your mother?" James raised an eyebrow.
"She'll be there." Emma pointed out.
"She will." James nodded. " But she has agreed to stay away from you until you are ready to talk to her. She has already left to allow you the space you want. Emma she wants the chance to apologize but we both agree that your needs are what is most important. No one will push you to do something you are not ready for."
"My room is just down the hall from yours." Emma continued.
"We have many rooms." James offered. "I do not mean to push you out of your room. You may stay wherever you please but that room has a lot of memories in it."
Emma gave a bitter laugh. "Who knew happy memories could be so painful."
James heart tore, unsure of how to take away his daughter's pain. "Please come home Emma."
Emma sighed, pushing herself up from the couch and walking over to the window with her arms crossed. Finally she turned back around to face her father, tears shining in her eyes. "I feel so lost."
"I know." James walked over to Emma, pulling him into her arms, trying to keep his own tears at bay. "I know you're lost right now. But this, my sweet girl, is not going to help you find your way. Please, let me try to help you. Let me do the job I have been waiting ten years to do."
Emma thought back to the last time she had allowed herself to be comforted like this. It had been before she had lost her memories, when she was still a happy little girl, naïve to what lie dormant in her that would change her life forever. She had still believed her father's arms could protect her from everything. She knew differently now. She had seen the horrors of the world and knew very few things could keep that evil at bay. Despite all of this, despite everything she knew, her father's arms still gave that same comfort. In this moment she felt as if his arms were shielding her from the entire world.
Emma surprised herself when she finally managed an answer. "Ok."
She felt her father freeze. Slowly he pulled back so he could look into her eyes. "Really?"
"Yes." Emma nodded. "I'll come home."
James couldn't contain his smile. He gently pushed the hair from her face. "There is nothing that could make me happier than you coming home where you belong."
"Well." Emma quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, straightening up. "We should get going before it gets too late to make any progress."
"Always the pragmatic one." James gave a small laugh.
"Well someone has to be." Emma shrugged.
"Please know if you ever need to talk about something, I'm always here for you." James said sincerely.
"I know." Emma nodded.
James wiped the last of Emma's stray tears. "We wouldn't want anyone to think you might have any emotions. That would be terrible."
"The worst." Emma gave a small laugh.
"Well then." James held out his arm. "Shall we go home?"
After a moment's pause Emma looped her arm through his and together they walked hand in hand into the hallway. Emma still felt scared, but somehow the connection with her father allowed her to draw strength in a way she had never before felt with magic.
"Emma." Orrin's voice called from the end of the hallway. Emma turned to see him hurrying toward her.
"Orrin?" Emma looked confused, walking toward him. "I thought…. I thought we had said our goodbyes."
"We had." Orrin nodded. "But I… There's a war coming Emma."
"I know." Emma said slowly, confused by why he was bringing this up.
"We are going to be on opposite sides of it." Orrin said sadly.
"Our families will be on opposite sides." Emma's argument was weak.
"And we must stand by them whether we want to or not." Orrin reminded her. "You're going to have to decide if you want to play a role in this war, but I do not think you have it in you to abandon your people."
"Have not I already done that by refusing to form an alliance with your family?" Emma asked, a hint of fear in her voice,
"You saved your people by refusing their influence." Orrin assured her. "It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is… this is goodbye for us. Maybe forever."
"Orrin." Emma protested.
"Someone has to win this war Emma." Orrin continued. "Which means one of us will lose. It is unfortunate that we will become enemies through our families. It is not something I want."
"But it is what will happen." Emma nodded in understanding. "You will always be my friend Orrin. I hope that there is someway around all of this."
"So do I." Orrin admitted. "I trust you to make the right decision for your people Emma, and for yourself. You know what you should do, all you need to do is accept it."
"I'm going to miss you." Emma wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "You are a good friend."
"And you are an incredible individual." Orrin gave a final squeeze and pulled back. "I am lucky to have known you. Now go with your father before something happens."
"Goodbye Orrin." Emma gave him one last look before turning and joining her father.
Orrin watched as the pair walked away, knowing if they ever met again it would be as enemies. "Goodbye Emma."