Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or ideas from The Killing. It's all just way too much fun.

Spoilers: Season 2, episode 5

DAY 18

Linden and Holder are in the car, as usual. Linden is on the phone with Jack, who had a fever earlier. She's speaking calmly and evenly, but Holder recognizes the concern in her voice.

"You don't have a fever anymore? Good, that's great. I'll be home soon. Just as soon as I can. OK." She closes the phone and puts it away.

She's rummaging around in the car for something. "You wanna smoke?" Holder offers.

Linden shakes her head, muttering "Mmmm-mmmm."

"You sure you don't want a cigarette?"

"Holder…" she says, her tone a warning to him.

"It's just a matter of time, til you're back in the fold." He's watching her intently, noticing that she's not quite herself. "You know Linden, you should live a little."

"Smoking isn't how I define living."

"Alright, just don't go all falling down on me because you can't get your fix." He pauses. "So how's Little Man?"

"He's better. He's probably just trying to dodge school. He has an algebra quiz tomorrow."

"You should tell him to call me, because I aced Algebra last time."

Linden nods and smiles, distracted, but her eyes don't meet his. She's so distracted that she doesn't notice that Holder is still watching her. He can tell that she's preoccupied, no doubt thinking about Jack.

"Alright," he begins, opening the passenger side door.

Linden looks up then, surprised and confused. "What are you doing?" After being kicked out of the car a few days ago, he's really getting out on his own? Why? I'm not even mad at him!

"I'm gonna call the station, have a uni send over a car. You go check up on Jack. I got this. I'll make sure Alexi doesn't leave town." He's looking at her reassuringly – seriously – which she isn't accustomed to.

Holder gets out, then leans back in through the open door. She's still looking at him with stunned confusion. "Don't worry about me!" he tells her.

"I never do," she smiles at him. "Thank you." As usual, very few words are passed between them, and yet they seem to understand each other perfectly.

Holder

It's rare to see Linden not firing on all cylinders, not working at full capacity. She's so rarely distracted that it's more obvious tonight than I think she realizes. She was so out of it in that car. All I had to do was look at her to see it. It was obvious she was worried about Jack, even though she wouldn't admit it, to me or even to herself. I could tell that she didn't want to let that stop her from keeping tabs on Alexi.

Poor Linden. She's so dedicated to her job, and it can't be easy for her to let something else come first. It's not that she doesn't love Jack – I know that she does. She just cares so much about the cases she takes… She's a single-minded kinda person, which makes it hard for her to pick one or the other.

I just wanted to make it easier for her tonight, send her home for once. Home to her kid, who should be the first priority, but who isn't most of the time. Poor Little Man. But I certainly can't point fingers at no one. Linden's doing her best with a situation that sucks. I feel for them both… I really do. All I can do is try to be there to help when I can.

Linden

Jack's OK. He's strong, always has been. He's been sick today, but we've been through worse before. We both have. We fight on, because… well, what choice have we ever had? Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope, about to fall – no, plunge – to the ground below, no matter what I do. But life doesn't let you choose your circumstances, so this is just how it is.

I can't get this case out of my head. I remember back when I thought I could walk away, back at the beginning. What a joke. I don't know who I thought I was fooling. I could no more walk away from a case than I could walk away from my own feet.

I just need to get Alexi to talk. He's the key here, he has to be, and he knows more than he's saying. I just need to figure out what Rosie was hiding from her parents.

I just need to find out the truth.

I just really need to solve this case. Then life can go back to normal… or, it can be normal for the first time, really. Normal… whatever that means.

…

Holder had shown up at Linden's door just after she'd been in the hall investigating a strange noise. She'd almost jumped out of her skin when Holder had knocked on the door as she stood just on the other side, still nervous about whatever she'd heard a moment before. When Holder told her that he had Alexi in his car, and that he wanted to talk to them, she grabbed her jacket and they left without delay.

As they set off down the hall, Holder couldn't help but think that Linden looked like she'd seen a ghost. He slowed his pace beside her, causing her to glance back at him, slowing down in turn to look at him. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

Holder continued to look at her with concern. "Linden, you look like you seen a ghost. You OK?" She glanced at the ground, then, when she could feel him still looking at her and realized that he was waiting for her to answer, she slowly looked back up at him.

"It's nothing," she mumbled unconvincingly, knowing that there was no way Holder was going to buy it for a second. After all, he was a cop, trained to read people. She sighed heavily, realizing that he was still watching her and waiting patiently. "I just… I thought I heard something in the hallway, so I went to look… but there was no one there… and then I was still standing right by the door when you knocked… I guess I was just… startled."

Holder could almost see the tension radiating off of her in waves. He decided to try to lighten the mood. "Sounds like you needed to get out of there anyway. Good thing I came by, huh?" Holder grinned at her, that dumb grin he always used when he said something so stupid it was almost funny.

She knew he was just trying to make her feel better, so even though she really didn't, she looked at him and flashed the smallest hint of a smile. He could see that she was faking it, but he appreciated the effort.

"Let's go see what Alexi wants to talk about," Linden said, steering the conversation back to business.

"Right, let's hit it," Holder agreed as the pair started down the hallway again.