No Fanservice Here

To Inventor-7, maybe Quigi shall return, maybe not. We'll wait and see.

To superdupahrwriter101: THANK YOU, AND THAT IS WHY I NAMED THIS CHAPTER.

edit: mah panties hurt.

STORY IS NOW.

Mite looked at his new IPorked made in China apparently by Steven Bills, it had this new feature since Apple thought that making touchable screens were too retarded to get money, they invented something that forces consumers to buy it.

Buttons.

The internet was very poor on this device so that Apple can afford more numbers of Chinese slave children to make more of this crap. The device can connect to every number on Earth, making security not mattering anymore.

Of course, Mite bought it to be an ass.

"Hey!" Mite smiled seeing two familiar faces he hasn't seen in awhile. It was a vampire and a psychic.

"Haven't seen you guys in awhile. You bought an IPorked also?" Mite asked and Mina nodded in the extremely tiny screen.

"Scary. Like Apple is trying to hypnotize you, forcing you to buy technology that will send humanity backward by a hundred years."

"Calling from the vampire." Mite then looked at Lucas, "How is your trip with Mina?"

"See, we aren't making friends since Mina is feeding on their corpses-" Lucas was then harshly hit in the head by Mina.

"You two dating or something?" The two then looked back at Mite through their phone and looked at him bewildered.

"What? No!" Mina protested, "I won't date him! Look at his hair! It looks like a hurricane hit it and then puked it back out."

"That really hurt." Lucas sniffed with tears threatening to fall from his eyes. No character development once so ever.

"Aw, it's okay. I didn't mean it." Mina hugged Lucas as Mite grinned. Mina then noticed Mite smiling and blushed deeply, letting go of hugging Lucas.

"We could say the same thing about you and Bell!"

"What?! She's crazy!"

"Perfect for you!"

"Nope!"

"Yup!"

"Nope!"

"Hey amigos!" They then saw another screen pop up, revealing someone Mite never expected to see so soon.

"QUIGI!?" He yelled, seeing the alcoholic scientist.

"That is me." He said in a serious voice, means he's sober.

"Who is this?" Lucas asked Mite.

"Oh, he's Quigi, met in a bar, team died. Anyway, how did you get here Professor?"

"Accident, the IPorked can be so bad at calling sometimes." Quigi said, fuming on how crappy his phone came in such a high price. Thanks Obama. Even though Obama isn't at presidency at this point of time.

"So, Mite. What are your group members?" Mina asked.

"New ones are a German, a bear-man-pig and a fat cat."

"German?"

"She dressed up as a maid."

"Ooh! Foreplay!" Quigi said and drank from a beer bottle, sheesh, he was getting drunk.

"Where are you Mite?" Lucas questioned

"Beach." He replied nervously.

"Beach?" The three callers asked in unison.

"Yeah...passed by over a mall earlier where I brought this poop. Next thing we knew we were by a beach."

"Is Bell and the German in a..."

"No, they aren't in bikinis. They said they don't want to swim so we aren't swimming but I think they don't wanna get...exposed considering how flat they are. Some girls I don't know my age tried to flirt with me though."

"They were in bikinis?"

"Yup, Mina, they were." Mite shivered a bit.

"Bell scared them off?" Lucas then asked, Mite was being bombarded by questions.

"Yup, where are you guys anyway?"

"We are in a cavern." Lucas aimed the phone at the ceiling showing dead hanging corpses, "Great reception though."

"I'm at DexLabs. Alone." Quigi drank down on his drink.

"Alright, gotta go. Bell will get overexcited a bit."

"Oh Mite?"

"Yeah?"

"Where protection if your going on a one night stand between you or the German or both-" Mite turned off his phone with one click of a button before the conversation became quite embarrassing. He sighed and looked at the sky, sunny and still that planet he was born at still in the sky. Shouldn't all these people be hiding instead of swimming in skimpy outfits.

Speaking of non-skimpy...

"I'm awake!" Bell whined, she was sleeping next to him after watching out for...girls. Passed out due to the sun.

"I see you are." Mite glanced at her and she rubbed her eyes.

"Where's GIR?"

"Everyone else is chasing him." They looked at the scene where Aya and Garfield are trying to stop a rampaging ManBearPig which has been triggered by GIR holding onto his leg.

"Better run before the police find out we have dangerous animals here, two in fact." She told him as she eyed Garfield and ManBearPig.

"Yup." The two quickly grabbed the umbrella above them and ran after the rest of the group while screaming.

"Alright, safe." Mite whispered to everyone seeing the coast was clear. The police were searching the area for a giant man-bear-pig (how accurate) and a cat that is too fatass deemed dangerous to the public. They were all under the boardwalk and praying for themselves not to get caught.

"Crap, what are we supposed to do?" Bell asked Mite, trying to be a quiet as possible.

"Don't know? Aya?" He asked the girl.

"Don't know." She held her chainsaw close, "ManBearPig?"

ManBearPig roared silently in response and redirected the attention to Garfield.

"Don't look at me. GIR?"

"TACOS!" Everyone covered GIR's mouth to silence him. They then looked at something very peculiar jumping out of the water. Was it a hat? With...tentacles?

"The hell?" Mite went to take a closer look and grabbed it by the waves and grabbed it. He didn't expect one thing though...

"Ya!" Came out from underneath the waves a girl, and the tentacles were blue HAIR. Yup, hair. She wore this white dress that was visible as of now and her tentacled hair was flowing about. She pushed Mite onto the floor as seawater washed up onto his green hair. She stood on top of him before looking at him curiously.

"You are innocent!" She then got off him as Mite was still shocked on what in the world was happening. She then looked at the rest of the group before having some rather dark expressions at Bell and Aya (only them), "Humans! You are now going to be enslaved by Squid Girl along with the entire humankind! If you surrender, I will not unleash the most dangerous enemies of squids! Whales!" She began ranting Hitler style as everyone had a face of pure amazement on how stupid she is.

"Seriously? Are you seriously believing this is happening?" Bell said, her face reading it all.

"You don't have to be so mean about it." She sniffed and got onto the floor and in extreme shock to everyone, her personality went from ISIS to crying-like-a-little-brat. Mite stood up and went to comfort her.

"Look what you did Bell!"

"It isn't my fault! She went by coming all Hitler style and talking us off!" Bell yelled, "Why isn't she yelling at you?!"

'She holds extreme grudges against humans, I'm technically not human.' Mite thought and resumed comforting the girl who was apparently named Squid Girl (well, how nice of a name). Squid Girl looked up at him and poked his nose.

Meanwhile, Bell was a bit furious at that while Aya was sitting by the sidelines, waving awkwardly.

"You're weird." Squid Girl told him while poking his entire face. Se looked about his age and wasn't flat like Bell and Aya since he was feeling something a bit squishy against his chest.

"Thanks?"

"No, like, all humans should be suppressed and enslaves but you're different." She stopped poking him.

"And who are you exactly?" She stood up and put a hand over her chest in pride.

"I am Squid Girl! Savior of the-"

"We know, you love squids! So scared, woo." Garfield said sarcastically as Bell bonked his head.

"I am here to conquer all of land...again! With an army!" Everyone looked around to see no army.

"Um...there is no army." Mite said and Squid Girl brought her face close to his. Bell then tried storming off to separate them but ManBearPig was holding her down, wanting to see what happens.

"What is you name?"

"Mite."

"Okay! Mite! You shall be my husband in the kingdom of squids when we conquer it with the army of the sea (to boost moral support for said army)!" That was when Bell nearly broke ManBearPig's hands to get through to turn Squid Girl in calamari.

"Whoa! Wait! My hair isn't even nicely groomed-I mean WHAT ARMY?!" He yelled desperately, hoping not to upset this girl who hates humans for a likely reason that involves Captain Planet.

"There is a city like...a few hundreds meters deep into the sea from here. Like there is a lot of fish!"

"And why didn't you have an army with you as of now?" He looked at her seriously, he was curious and wanting to get this over with before Bell kills them.

"There is this giant green round thing (a forcefield) that surrounds the place and everyone who eats a burger that belongs to the town can't get out!" She whined as tears that were more comical fell down passionately.

"Why don't I go down there?"

"You really?"

"Yup! I will!" He held a fist up his chest just like she did and Squid Girl giggled.

"Alright, but I'll be back after I gather forces for an army! I'll come back to marry you!" She then stood up and dived back into the ocean as Bell finally broke Mite's fingers and summoned the FATE and began whacking water. She just wanted to kill her fast.

"Jealous perhaps?"

Bell then basically killed him.

"Ow." Mite rubbed the wound Bell gave him, every time a girl came up she would just wants to kill them! She is more comfortable with Aya talking to him lately but anybody else? Nope.

"Shoot. There it is!" The group were directed to a submarine by the boardwalk, seemed like troops were transporting to the purported city Squid Girl told him. Seems like people were hitching a ride also.

"Er, hey?" Mite came up to the soldier wearing a sailor's hat.

"Oi! You also going to Bikini Bottom?"

"Is that a sexual innuendo because if it is..." Mite began.

"No! This submarine leads to the city named Bikini Bottom." The soldier explained, "Wonder why they called it that."

"Can we get in?" Mite then eyed seeing tow officers about to pass by them.

"Okay! As long as you aren't terrorists!" The man presented them the submarine and everyone climbed on it just to get in the hole. When they got in, it was surprisingly spacious due to ManBearPig's head not making dents in the ceiling. They crowded to some seats at the back as everyone stared at the odd group.

"Maybe you want to get a picture!" Garfield said and everyone brought out their IPorked and flashing became all around.

Note to self, never let ManBearPig near camera light flashes.

ManBearPig roared and stood up, but fortunately, the ceiling bumped his head enough to make him unconscious.

"Alright, everyone fasten your seats because we'll be entering hyperdrive." The driver said through the speakers and everyone fastened their belts.

Except for one group trying to wake up a certain animal.

"Say wha-?"

Too late.

TOOK AWHILE.

edit: ow, that must hurt.

STAY TUNED.