A few hours later she sat at her desk staring at the artifact SG-3 had brought back. It had seemed a routine job to translate, but now she was stuck. She felt a headache building up and the muscles in her neck were tensing up. Her mood had been better, too. Frustrated she pushed the artifact away from her and considered asking Dr. Jackson for help. She picked up the phone to make the call when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Turning towards her office door she froze. He was the last person she needed to see right now. She put the phone back, deciding she needed to see her colleague personally. With a mere nod and an unemotional 'Colonel' she stepped past him, forcing him to step back to let her pass.

Daniel had gladly agreed to look at the problem she was facing, but he didn't quite understand what it was about. It was a routine translation that he knew the young German linguist was easily capable of. Something was wrong here. When they were done with it he leaned back in his chair and looked at her. "What's up?"

She took a deep breath and got to her feet. "Thank you very much, Daniel. Now that you solved this, everything is OK."

He didn't buy it.

"Bist du sicher? Du siehst erschöpft aus, und wir wissen beide, dass du meine Hilfe für sowas eigentlich nicht brauchst." [You sure? You look exhausted, and we both know you actually don't need my help doing this.]

She was taken by surprise when she was addressed in her mother tongue. On top of everything else that had happened that day, it was just too much to take. She fell back into the chair she had just risen from and laid her head on the table. She was able to keep back the tears, but only if she didn't speak. Daniel walked around the desk and touched her shoulder. "Hey! Care to talk to me?"

"I can't." Muffled by her arms he could barely catch it.

"What, classified information?" he joked.

It made her smile and she raised her head to let him see it. "Sort of. I'd have to kill you if I told you."

That made him smile. "Been working with the military too long, lady!"

She let out her breath. "No, really, I just can't. But I'll live." She finally got up and left his office, thanking him again for his help.

Still wondering what the trouble might be Daniel decided to get something to eat. He ran into Jack and they sat down together. It wasn't until some time later that Daniel noticed his friend wasn't paying attention to him. Well even less attention than usual. Waving his hand in front of Jacks eyes he forced him to react. When he saw the look he immediately regretted the attempt.

"What?!" The colonel snapped at him.

"I was just wondering if you were still with me."

"Oh for crying out loud, Daniel, leave me alone."

He pushed his chair back with some force and left the mess hall in such a hurry that it almost looked like he was running from something. Shaking his head Daniel left as well and headed for Sam's lab. Her door was open, so he entered and she looked up at him.

"Everything fine around here?"

Sam smiled and nodded.

"And yourself?"

Daniel shrugged. "I don't know, I thought maybe there was some alien virus going around the base or something."

Sam looked alert. "How come?"

Daniel waved his hand and said: "Just joking. Everybody's behaving a little strangely lately."

Sam seemed to consider it. "Who exactly?"

"Amanda Hess couldn't translate a piece that really wasn't that difficult, and Jack has just snapped at me like I was a complete idiot."

The moment he said it he came to think there might indeed be a connection...

...

Amanda had decided to run a bath. It had always helped her to relax. Just before she got into the tub there was a soft knock at her front door. Cursing under her breath in various languages she put on her bathrobe and flung the door open.

"What?", she demanded before she had realized who her visitor was. The colonel and the linguist were equally robbed of words it seemed. For different reasons though. Both blushed.

"I'm sorry -", they both started at the same time and couldn't help a grin. Amanda gathered her wits first and asked him in.

"I'll be right back, make yourself comfortable", she said and disappeared into the bathroom. When she returned, she wore jeans and a t-shirt and he was studying her bookshelf. At the sound of her entering the room he turned and said:

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm disturbing you. We'd better talk tomorrow on the base."

"No, it's okay. Hot water is overrated anyway."

He smiled, but still wasn't convinced it was OK to be there.

"And there must be a reason you're here. I mean you didn't just happen to be in the neighborhood, did you?"

Again he smiled and shook his head.

"No, in fact I came here with a purpose. Daniel approached me. I... had treated him a little unfairly, but he didn't seem to mind. He just grinned at me and told me to sort things out. Before I could even start to pretend I didn't know what he was talking about he gave me The Look."

"The look?"

"Yeah, the look. The one that says 'Cut the crap, Jack, I've known you for too long'. I hate it when he does that, but he's usually right. Don't you dare tell him I said that."

Suddenly Amanda became aware that they were still standing in the center of her living room. Just when she was about to offer him a seat he took a step towards her. His face turned serious. He lowered his eyes for a moment and then looked straight into hers.

"Look, I suck at this. But still, I owe you an apology. The way I treated you today wasn't fair, and I came to say I'm sorry."

Amanda swallowed once and without breaking the eye contact she said:

"Then why did you do it? I thought...well maybe I made a fool of myself but initially I felt like you..." She trailed off.

"I thought it was very brave of you. And when the moment came, I just couldn't reply to that bravery. I'm a real coward, you know?"

She snorted. "Oh come on. You're a US Airforce Colonel! And you might easily be the most courageous person I know."

"In the field, maybe. But in a situation like this..."

She took another step, standing very close now.

"What exactly is the situation right now, colonel?" she asked, looking up at him with the slightest tease in her eyes.

In what was barely a whisper he answered her:

"Right now, I'm scared to the bone."

"Scared of me?"

"Scared I might mess this up. I'm really bad at talking about what's going on inside me. I need to change that, only I don't know if I can. It's who I am. Can someone ever change what they are?"

Without another word she reached up and touched his face, a feather light brush against his temple with her fingertips. He closed his eyes and exhaled. She stretched on her toes to reach his mouth with hers. It was a small kiss, careful, tender, almost unsure. He didn't avoid it but didn't react either. She drew back to look at his face. He looked lost. Amanda took a deep breath and sat on the couch. Looking up to him and patting the space beside her she said:

"Come here."

He did, sitting down on the edge of the couch with his elbows on his knees, not looking at her. Something inside her died. She cleared her throat and said quietly:

"I'm sorry. Maybe I was wrong."

His head snapped up and he rushed out:

"No! Oh God, there's absolutely nothing you should be sorry for! It's me. I...well, you know I screwed up so badly once I'm still kind of gun shy."

Amanda took his hands and gently forced him to look at her.

"I screwed up so many times I just decided this was going to be different. I'm tired of running around secretly in love with men that don't care about me. I've been doing that long enough, I just don't want it to happen again. So I took my heart in both hands...well I think that doesn't work in English, does it?"

Jack smiled a little and said:

"I think I know what it's supposed to mean."

He leaned in, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted and kissed her, soft and slow.

"Not scared anymore, colonel?", she whispered close to his mouth.

"Assessed the risk and decided it was acceptable", he answered and deeply enjoyed the touch of her lips on his.

…

They sat on the couch for a while without speaking. Every now and then one or the other would start a gentle touch, evoking a smile or a kiss. It was Amanda who finally spoke:

"You know, I was – surprised, to be honest, when you showed up here."

He looked up and met her eyes, but clearly didn't know what to say.

"Not that I'm complaining", she went on with a smile. "I just – I guess I wasn't expecting you to be – interested."

His eyebrows went up. "Are you kidding me? What guy in his right mind wouldn't be?"

She blushed a little.

"I just felt you didn't particularly like scientists, let alone civilian scientists."

He gave her a half smile.

"As far as I recall you're not very fond of the military."

"Yeah...that's what I thought."

"Changed your mind?"

She turned serious.

"Yes. The way you see your job...well let's just say I came to appreciate the whole concept a lot more than I used to."

They were silent again for a few minutes, and then Jack said:

"So what made you think I wouldn't be interested – besides the obvious scientist thing?"

She didn't answer him right away, and when she did her voice was low.

"I thought you'd need something different. Someone who can keep up with you. Someone more – adventurous, less cautious – someone who can keep you on your toes."

He let out a breath and took her hands. Fully turning to her he said:

"Why would I want that?"

"I don't know, I just feel – naive next to you. You've seen combat. All the things you must have experienced -"

"Believe me, I really don't need somebody who's like me. The reason guys like me go to war is to make sure people like you don't ever have to deal with it. So that you're safe. That's what we do. Make sure the smart people are safe, those who are good at science and art and – I don't know. Make sure beauty is safe, and health, and happiness."

Amanda looked at him speechless. He let go of her hands and dropped his gaze.

"You think I'm being melodramatic."

"No! I'm just – surprised. You're really serious about your service. It's not just an expression, it's what you do. Serve."

He shrugged.

"I guess?"

She framed his face with her hands.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being the man you are."

She closed her eyes and kissed him. It was Jack who broke the kiss to look at her.

"You know I've been falling for you for quite some time."

"Really? You certainly know how to be stealthy", she grinned.

"I do. But this was more like cowardice in the face of the enemy."

"So you considered me hostile?"

"Let's say I was dealing with a lack of reliable intel."

Turning serious she said:

"That's what it's like I'm afraid. Take a chance and risk looking like a fool."

"Yeah. Who said you're not adventurous?"

…

"Your dad? Amanda, I'm not sure...the mission roster is brutal, all of them urgent, and I can't let the team down..."

Amanda gave him an amused look, and he admitted:

"Yeah alright, I know I'm being a chicken. Happy now? I mean, your dad doesn't like the military, you've told me that more than once. Plus I could easily be...I mean how much older than me is he, anyway?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I love you, and I'm incredibly happy with you, and I told him that. Therefor he will welcome you to the family. And yes, he was a little surprised that I would choose a military guy. I mean, I was even surprised myself. But he's curious to meet you. So, come on!"

Jack finally surrendered.

"OK, if it means that much to you. Uhm, what am I supposed to wear?"

Deadly serious she suggested:

"You might wanna wear your dress blues for the occasion."

He made a face.

"Oh come on, you know that I hate them. I always feel like I'm about to suffocate. Do you really think it's -"

Amanda couldn't keep a straight face any longer and burst out laughing.

"It's OK, I'm joking. Wear whatever you want."

...

TBC