Chapter 16

I straggle back to my hotel suite, trailing behind lunchtime Italians who, annoyingly, all look like fashion models. I had to get out of the taxi due to stop and go traffic that was making me carsick. I get there by noon, finding Kent out, and the suite being cleaned. If memory serves, Kent has two more meetings and we have one more shared function before we can head home. For some strange reason bearing the initials of CG, I'm now very anxious to get home. Saying goodbye today was so hard after our reunion and… um… quality time. I started missing him as soon as he put me in the taxi and tenderly kissed me goodbye. Will he miss me? I wonder. He did make me promise to call him the moment I set foot back on U.S. terra firma.

My head is still in the clouds. Christian proved himself to be such a romantic when we were making love—and that's what it was. It felt less about sex and more about connecting on a deeper, more emotional level. I don't yet know the depth of his feelings for me but the words that came out of his mouth were loving ones.

When we first physically joined together, he began to whisper beautiful things—the kind that every girl or woman wants to hear from the man she loves. "My little Ana with her shining eyes… satin skin… sinful lips."

I gazed into his half-closed eyes, watching as they rolled up into his head when I tightened around him, and the image was so erotic I almost came right then.

"Ahh," he moaned, "baby. Being inside you is my warm, velvet bliss."

He released my legs to get closer to me, his weight now on his forearms. Running his fingers through my hair before grabbing handfuls, he whispered in between kisses he landed on my now swollen lips, "Your hair is so silky—silk, satin, and velvet is my Ana."

His Ana.

I want to be his but he needs to be mine, too. Is he my Christian? I'm afraid to ask because if he isn't, I'll be crushed again. Being involved with Christian is like being a hemophiliac and handling jagged shards of glass: I know with every molecule in my body that he could so easily injure me deeply enough that I could never come back. I know it… yet I cannot walk away.

He never lost his rhythm or momentum: he spoke such beautiful words to me while making my body feel so good. He fed me, mind and body. When his words became disjointed, I knew he was close. "So good. Sweet girl. For you… I want to be a better man… for you."

As he moved into his climax, his voice became more guttural, growling out his words, those words turning sexy. "Give it up, baby. I'm waiting… waiting to feel it. I want your tight little muscles to grab me, hold me, squeeze me into submission. Who's really in charge, Ana?" He yanked my hair harder, wrapping his fists in the long strands.

That was all it took. As soon as he uttered those words, I blasted into the top, unable to restrain the earthy moan that echoed out of my throat. I opened my eyes to see the triumph gleam in his, and as he came he said one word: "you."

My, oh my. He thinks I'm in charge. I think that can work in my favor. Every time I chance to consider it, I break into a smile.

Instead of waiting in the hotel for Kent, I take another shower and dress in fresh clothes, deciding to go shopping. I need to buy a gift for Kate, maybe Jose, too, and definitely Kent and Christian. Kate is easy: I buy her a pair of killer slingbacks that I know she'll love. For Jose, I find a beautiful dark blue cashmere-cotton scarf. Kent and Christian are going to be difficult. Both men are very affluent and have everything. What can I possibly buy them that would mean something?

I end up buying Kent an edgy pair of sunglasses and in a tiny shop tucked into the end of a winding street, I stumble upon a killer leather jacket for Christian. I don't care if he likes it or not: I just know I have to see him in it. In that sense it's more a gift for me than him. But… I think he'll like it.

When I get back to the suite, Kent's stuff is in the living room and his bedroom door is closed so I assume he's in there. I pour myself a glass of wine and reach for the novel I'm midway through reading. About an hour later, I hear Kent moving around and go to speak with him.

"Ana. So? How'd it go?"

He looks so energized today and it crosses my mind to wonder why. Smiling, I nod. "It went exceedingly well actually. So I guess he and I are dating now."

Kent smiles now too. "Good for you. I hope things continue to go well for you both."

Surprising both of us, I spring toward him and plant a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for the sage advice and your friendship, Kent. You mean a lot to me, you know."

"As you do to me, Ana. I'll bet you're anxious to get back to the States all of a sudden." He laughs.

"How'd you guess?" I chuckle along with him. "He had to leave by noon today, some important meeting, so… if I can't be there with him then I'd rather be here with you."

"Well, I have a meeting before dinner and then I need to meet with a few clients tomorrow. We have an invitation-only show on Thursday and I'll need you to model for it, and then a gala that night. We can leave Friday morning but it would probably be better if we go Saturday so we can rest up a bit. I'll leave that up to you."

"Oh, that sounds fine. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Indeed."

Kent just stands there, looking slightly ill at ease.

"What's up? Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Yes." He shifts to his other foot. "I wondered if you would feel comfortable enough if Jared stayed with us for the rest of our stay here?"

"Of course I'd feel comfortable. Why wouldn't I, Kent? I'd love to get to know him better—if you love him, he must be very lovable. I've discovered you have excellent taste in friends."

Relief swamps his face. Why does he think people will judge him harshly? Not everyone is an idiot and this is the 21st century. "Thanks, Ana. We were contemplating the possibility of going to Scotland while we're on this side of the Atlantic. Jared has a grandmother there he'd like to visit."

"Oh, you should definitely go."

"What about you?"

"Me? What about me?"

"Would you want to come with? I know you probably wouldn't, now that your hottie awaits you."

I can't help it—I feel heat spreading across my face from the rising blush. I guess my mind is in the gutter thinking about that hottie and how burning hot he is. Whew. "Kinda true." I grin guiltily.

"Do you mind returning home alone? I'll take you to the airport, of course."

"Kent, you must have been last in line when they made gentlemen because I've never met a man as gallant as you. Of course I can travel home alone. I'm a big girl."

He pats my arm. "Thank you, Ana. I'll make sure we'll have some fun before I put you on the plane."

"You'd better," I huff. "When does Jared get here?"

"Oh, he's already here. He arrived yesterday."

"Where's he been?"

"He has a room here but it's small and not all that comfortable."

"Kent, tell him to get his butt here now. I can't believe you had him check into another room, wasting money and causing him inconvenience just because you've been misplaced from the Victorian era."

The look on his face makes me giggle. "I'm going to finish this bloody novel that I've been reading for the past month. That way I can buy another book for the flight home."

"You do that. Jared and I are taking you out for the most sublime Italian meal you've ever tasted so save your appetite."

"Good you told me because I was planning on hitting that pasticceria downstairs." I turn to go back to my room but Kent grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug and then looks embarrassed at his spontaneous display of affection. "Enjoy your novel."

I smile and retreat to my room so he and Jared can have some privacy.

….

The plane makes an unholy noise as it prepares to lift off the ground. Takeoff both exhilarates and terrifies me: I love the speed but the idea that we'll be hurtling into empty space thousands of feet off the ground is a bit unsettling. And why can't they make planes quieter? The military has stealth aircraft, for heaven's sake.

I see other people around me in first class have their headphones on. I don't because if something goes wrong, I need to know about it. I rest my head back and close my eyes. I won't open them until we're airborne. To distract myself, I cast my mind back over the last few days in Milan.

Kent was true to his word: he and Jared took me out for the most incredible meal I've ever eaten. It was a small restaurant that caters to an elite clientele that's invitation only. There is no menu: diners eat what they're served and like it. There were six courses plus dessert and cheese. By the time we were done, I felt as if I was waddling out, I was so full.

Jared is handsome and charming. He's very masculine and I caught Kent glancing at him with adoration a few times. Jared seems equally dedicated to Kent, which is nice. Since Jared is also a very successful man, their connection seems to be grounded in affection and respect. Jared spent the evening entertaining Kent and I with stories about his large and somewhat crazy family. He seemed very excited at the prospect of visiting his grandmother.

"So, Ana," Jared looked at me during a lull in the conversation, "Kent tells me you're seeing Christian Grey."

"Yes. Do you know him?"

"No, I've never met him but naturally I know of him. He seems to be a stand-up sort of guy, at least from a distance. Though I suppose you think highly of him or you wouldn't be dating him."

"True that," I grinned. "I think very highly of him."

"So tell us what he's like. Does he have a good sense of humor?"

I thought about it. Does he? I really don't know much about him. "I think he does. Now that you mention it, I realize I don't know him all that well. I do know he's intelligent, well read, and charming… among other things."

Kent quickly interjected, "And those other things are not to be questioned." He was glancing at Jared in admonishment and Jared gave him a guilty grin.

"Never hurts to try."

Watching their exchange, I was amused. Apparently Jared wanted to know personal things about Christian—I'm guessing along the lines of whether or not he's any good in bed. Kent is way too much of a gent to even think about asking something like that. I suppose they complement each other, personality-wise. I smiled impishly and looked at Jared until I caught his eye. "FYI, at those things not to be mentioned? Ace." I winked at his surprised expression and we all burst into laughter.

Earlier, I texted Christian from the airport telling him I am on my way back and that Kate is meeting me at the airport. Now I wish I'd asked Christian to pick me up because I'm practically vibrating with the need to see him… and do other things with him. Maybe it's because I'm so new to sex but I find I want it—a lot. And I want to see his handsome face so, so badly. I wonder how long I'll have to wait before I see him again.

The flight is perfect. First-class flying is drastically different from coach—it's a class of travel unto itself. The seats are wide and recline all the way back into beds and the level of service is without blame. After having brunch along with two fairly strong Mimosas, I find myself too sleepy to read or watch a film so I put my seat back and, snuggling under my personal travel blanket, I go to sleep thinking of a tall, gorgeous man with pretty light eyes and lips that could bring a nun to sin.

The flight is long: over seventeen hours so when I wake up, we're not even halfway there. I open my carry-on to get the book I never finished and before I find it, I see a beautifully wrapped gift. "Whaaat?" I realize I say it aloud and feel eyes on me from nearby passengers. Yes, my face turns hot. But what is it?

I pull it out and there's a small card attached. "With love, Kent & Jared." Aw. Tears well up in my eyes at his kindness. I gave him the sunglasses I'd purchased for him before I left and he was thrilled with them but I had no idea he'd slipped this gift into my bag. I open it carefully, so as not to rip the beautiful blue and silver paper. Inside is an e-reader. If I know Kent, there's probably a hundred books already downloaded on it. When I told him I didn't want to have to read the same novel on the flight home, he probably got the idea to buy me this gift. God, Kent is a one in a million guy. Why can't everyone be like him?

Before attempting to figure out how to work it, I need a shot at the restroom. As I make my way down the aisle, my eyes happen to fall on an open magazine sitting on an empty seat. There's a photo of a gorgeous man and a stunning woman. The problem is that the gorgeous man in the photo is my gorgeous man. My instant reaction feels like a hand has closed over my throat. I want to snatch up the magazine so badly but I force myself to wait until the owner returns from her own trip to the restroom. She's a young woman, very thin and fashionably dressed—she'd be very pretty but for a rather strange nose.

"Excuse me. Might I trouble you to have a look at your magazine?"

"Oh, I'm in the middle of reading it."

"I just want five seconds with that photo." I gesture with my chin.

She looks back and picks it up, glancing at the photo and handing it to me. "Good-looking bloke, isn't he?"

"Yes." I read the caption. "Financier Christian Grey and Victoria's Secret model Nastassja Gorky, at the Thousand Points of Light benefit at Griffith Park. Quickly I flip to the front of the magazine for the date. It's the People magazine issue from last week. God. I wonder when this photo was taken.

"Thanks so much," I say, hoping my face doesn't give away my shock and hurt. Why was he dating so recently? Was this whole thing all about him playing me? My supreme happiness evaporates into smoke and I finish my trip to the restroom in abject misery.

I have ten more hours on this flight and now I'm too upset to even play with my new e-reader. When the flight attendant comes by, I ask her for Tanqueray and tonic. I almost asked for scotch for a fast drunk but I'm not in the mood. I need sad music, darkness, and a cigar to do scotch proud. The Tanqueray helps a bit so I have another one.

It could be innocent. Maybe he needed a date for the benefit and I was already in Italy? Or maybe the girl is his cousin and she begged him to take her? Before I jump to conclusions, I should wait to speak with him about it. It's just that my intuition tells me it's none of those things—it was a date with a beautiful woman and I'm jealous as all get-out.

Finally, the long flight is over. It's a smooth landing plus I get lucky with customs, getting a flirty young guy who speeds me through. As I come through the doors I see him.

Christian.

My whole system responds instantly, heartbeat revving into overdrive, butterflies swarming stomach, legs morphing into Jell-o. God.

There's also no Kate in sight.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a woman walking in sync with me. Glancing in her direction, I see the passenger whose magazine I borrowed staring at Christian with her mouth gaping open. She swivels her astonished eyes to me and I smile and wink. God, that was gratifying. I turn back to the precious, strolling directly to him, and give him a quick kiss.

"Where's Kate?"

Grinning widely, he replies, "I bribed her to let me come instead."

"Oh?" I can't help smiling despite the whole photo thing—he's just so endearing.

"Yes, it was costly. She wants five flavors of gelato from the little Italian café by my office."

I shake my head. "Leave it to Kate and her desperate need for ice cream. Uh, I need to go to luggage claim."

"Yes. Let's go. Are you exhausted?"

"I slept a lot on the plane but I do feel odd."

He nods in understanding.

Okay, Ana, just get it over with. I take a deep breath and forge ahead. "Christian?"

At the tone of my voice, his head swings toward me. "Yes?"

"When did you date that Victoria's Secret model?"

Uh-oh: the look on his face is unmistakably guilty. I'm not liking this… at all.

"Well?"

"Do you mean Nastassja?"

"Yes, that's who I mean. I saw a photo of the two of you in a magazine on the plane. It just so happened to be open to that page as I walked past…"

"Great," he muttered under his breath and I only just caught it. "I had to attend that fundraiser; I was one of the sponsors so it was imperative. I asked Nastassja because she was free and she and I go back a ways—I feel comfortable with her. I hadn't yet decided to go after you, Ana." His voice grew very quiet with the last comment.

"Okay." That's all I say. His head shoots up in surprise.

"Okay?"

"Okay. Let's get my bag and get out of here. I missed you."

"I missed you, too. So much."

He continues to gaze at me as we walk, apparently flummoxed by my reaction and it makes me giggle. He smiles, shaking his head, and leans in closer to kiss me. "Thank you, baby, for not making a big deal over it. It was really nothing."

"I'm counting on that, Christian. And from here on in, I won't be seeing any more of these types of photo, correct?"

"Absolutely correct," he says softly before his luscious lips settle over mine. "Will you come to my place?"