Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, but I wish I had some control over what happens!
LAST ROUGH CHAPTER FOR A WHILE.. I PROMISE!
This just might be my favorite chapter!
Chapter 79
The rest of the evening was spent in bed, resting in each other's arms. Callie tried to get the blonde to eat, but she refused saying she just wasn't hungry. Callie didn't want to force her because she really didn't feel she could eat either. Night soon turned into morning and the couple found themselves in the hospital again for the second day in a row. Being placed in the procedure room, Callie helped Arizona into a hospital gown and on the bed.
"You okay?" Callie asked her as she held on to her wife's hand as the nurses went about setting the room up. "I'm fine, are you okay, Calliope."
"I'm okay if you are okay, sweetheart." The brunette replied as she looked down lovingly but sadly at her wife. "I love you." She leaned down and kissed pink lips.
"I love you too." Arizona pulled her down for one more small kiss. "We're okay right?" She asked again. She was worried Callie was upset with her for not going to the doctor when she wanted her too.
"Of course we are sweetie."
"I know how excited you were."
"I was, but you were too. Now, I'm just glad you're okay, that's all that matters." Callie assured her. That was the truth, even though she was heartbroken, she was glad her wife was going to be okay and right now that's all that mattered to her. "I forgot to tell you I talked to your mom and Teddy last night." She said, trying to take her wife's mind off of what was about to happen. "Teds wanted me to tell you she loved you and would come see you soon."
"I really scared her yesterday."
"She was just worried about you babe, we all were." Callie said, pulling up the stool and sitting by her wife.
Nodding. "You told mama?" She asked.
"I did, she and your dad want to come over today and stay all day, she just wants to be there for us. I told her that would be nice, I know how you want your mom sometimes."
"Yeah.. thank you, Callie." The blonde said squeezing her wife's hand. "You've been taking such good care of me, but I'm worried about you too."
"I'm okay." Callie smiled down at her wife as Addison knocked on the door. "I'm okay."
"We're ready, Arizona if you are." Addison said, walking through the door.
"I am."
"I can stay right, Addie?" Callie didn't want to leave her wife during this.
"Yeah, you can stay. Do you have any questions?"
"I'm not.." Callie said looking down at her wife before looking back at the doctor. "I'm not trying to sound insensitive or anything. I just.. how long until we can?"
"Have sex?" Addison asked.
"And try again? Not that I'm in a hurry." She looked down at her wife, hoping she didn't upset her with that question.
"It's okay." Arizona stated.
"She'll let you know when she's ready, some people have a hard time with being intimate after something like this happens, but as long as you talk and let each other know what the others feeling you should be okay. And with trying to get pregnant again I would say just give her body some time to heal."
"If.." She shook her head. "I'm sorry but I just want to know these things. It doesn't mean I want to hurry and do anything. I'm just curious and I don't want to upset you by asking them." She looked towards her wife.
"You're not, I don't have questions, but you do. Ask them." Arizona told her wife.
"If we wanted to try again.. as soon as she's ready of course.." She shook her head. "Never mind.. It doesn't matter right now."
"I'll talk about your options after we're finished here okay?" The red head placed her hand on her friends shoulder. Nodding, Callie turned back towards her wife as Addison was about to start.
"Let me help you." Callie said, putting the jeep in park and jumping out to help her wife out of the vehicle. They had just pulled into the driveway of their home, after spending a few hours in the hospital.
"I can get out myself, Callie." Arizona said taking her wife's offered hand to appease her.
"I know, but I want to help." Callie sighed. "I'm just trying to make it easy one you."
"You want to make it easy?" She asked, stepping out of the jeep and turning towards her wife.
"Yes."
"Just hug me." She said, holding out her arms for the brunette to step in.
"I can definitely do that." The brunette said wrapping her arms around her wife.
"I'm going to be okay, Calliope. I promise. I was sad, I am still sad, but I'm going to be fine, we will be fine. Things like this happen for a reason and we may not know why, but there was a reason this happened and I've accepted that." She whispered into her wife's ear. "And I know you're sad too, but we'll get through this and move on."
"We will." Callie said, kissing the base of her wife's neck. "Come on, let's get you inside."
"It's a nice day, how about we lay on the lounger out back and take a nap in the sun?"
"That sounds good." She said, taking the blondes hand and walking towards the house. Just as they were about to unlock the door, it swung open.
"Daddy!" Arizona breathed, her father scaring her when he opened the door. She knew her parents were coming but didn't see their car parked in the drive. "You scared me, I didn't see your car."
"Hey, bug." He said, stepping back into the house to let the women in as Arizona went straight and wrapped herself around him. "I'm sorry honey, you're mother ran to the grocery store, she wanted to cook you dinner this evening if you're okay with that."
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"How are you doing sweetheart?" He asked, still holding his daughter.
"I'm okay daddy."
"What about you, Callie?" He asked, holding open his other arm to hug his daughter in law too.
"I'm good, dad." She told him, hugging him and her wife in a group hug. She felt safe in Daniels arms, it felt like her dads hugs and right now she needed one of those.
Hugging Callie and her dad, Arizona brushed a tear away that escaped her wifes eye, before planting a kiss on her nose. "I don't think your hug is helping her daddy. I think she needs something more."
"Oh yeah?" Daniel said dropping his arms.
"Yeah, look at that face. She really needs it." Arizona held in her laughter as Callie backed away with a confused look.
"Do you think she's worth it though?" Daniel asked his daughter as they both inched closer to the brunette that kept slowly backing up. "I mean you have to be pretty special for one of them."
"Oh yeah, she's totally worth it daddy."
"Well.. only if you say so." He winked at the brunette. "You have the stuff?"
"Yep, we should."
"Then I'll go prepare it." He said walking to the kitchen.
Seeing her wife squint at her, Callie knew she was in for it. "What is he going to do?" She backed up quicker as she saw her wife coming closer and closer.
"Stop walking away." She chuckled. "I'm not going to tickle you if that's what you you are thinking. Every time I was upset when I was little he would give me a big hug and that would make things better. Because as you know Calliope, little girls adored their daddies." She said walking up to her wife and grabbing her hands. Since yesterday she hadn't seen her wife's smile and she really needed to see it so she hoped this would do so.
"They do." Callie agreed.
"But as I got older, his hugs didn't always have the same affect as when I was little. So he came up with something else that helped."
"Do my hugs help?" Callie asked, wrapping her arms around her wife.
"Your hugs? Oh, Calliope. Your hugs can move mountains." Arizona said, hugging her wife back.
"I don't want to move mountains, I just want you to feel safe."
"I am safe in your arms." She said, kissing her wife's nose. "Quit trying to make me forget what we were talking about."
"I'm not." Callie chuckled. "So, what was it that made you feel better?"
"The worlds famous Robbins Sundaes." She smiled up at her wife. "It's not just any kind of sundaes either."
"At ten o'clock in the morning?"
"Yes, if the situation calls for it and today it calls for it."
"What's so famous about them?"
"It's better, much much better than one you can buy and they're made with a lot of love. So are you up for it?"
"Hell yeah." She smiled down at the blonde.
"Good. Because I really need it. Come on. It should be ready." She said, walking with her wife through the house and into the kitchen.
"Whoa.." Callie laughed when she saw the sundae. "You weren't kidding." She said looking at the huge bowl of ice cream that could feed a party of ten.
"I told Ya, Cal. This wasn't just any sundae." Arizona said, sitting on the stool at the island. "What do you have for us daddy?" She asked picking up a spoon her father had laid out for the three of them.
"Well, I have ice cream of course with a half of bottle of chocolate syrup.. just the way you like it. And I have some crushed up Reese cups thrown in there for Callie cause I know that's her favorite to go sweet. And I crushed some Oreos and I topped it off with a sliced banana and a few cherries, gotta make it look a little healthy incase your mother catches us." He winked at the girls. "And now...the whip cream." He said spraying the top of the pile.
"I must say.. This looks freaking amazing." Callie said, opening a cabinet.
"Whoa.." Arizona held up her hand. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked her wife.
"Uhh.. I'm getting us bowls to eat our ice cream in."
"Oh no no. That takes all the fun away. We're all eating straight outta this bowl. Tell her daddy."
"She's right Cal. You're not a real Robbins until you have a sundae the Robbins way." Daniel said as he and his daughter dug into the ice cream.
"God, that really hits the spot." Arizona sighed as she scooped up more ice cream.
"It's because you've not ate since yesterday morning." Callie said taking a bite of the cold treat. Their sadness still weighing heavy on them.
"Yeah." She whispered as they sat there and ate the ice cream in silence until Barbara came back.
After a late lunch that Barbara had made, Callie and Arizona found themselves outside in their back yard overlooking the bay while laying on a lounger enjoying the summer air while the dogs played around them.
"Excuse me ma'am." Callie heard come from the corner of the house as Arizona laid asleep in her arms.
"Yes?" She raised up in the chair, after pulling her arm out from under her wife.
"Does a Mrs..." He said looking at the paper in his hand. "Arizona Robbins live here?"
"Yes she does." She said standing from the chair.
"Okay, great. I have a few deliveries for her." He said as he went back around the house.
Following the delivery man out to their front yard she waited on him by the porch. "Who sent those?" She asked as he carried two flower arrangements up to her.
"There is cards inside. Would you like them here or in the house?"
"Bring them in, please." Callie said opening the front door of her home.
"There is one more." He said walking back out of the house after he placed the flowers on their dinning room table and bringing the last thing in.
"Who are those from?" Barbara asked after the man left the house. Her and Daniel had just came in from having a walk on the beach.
"I don't know." Callie said pulling a card from red and white roses.
Arizona and Callie, You're in our thoughts. We love you both so much,
Meredith, Derek, Mark, Lexie, Alex and Addison
"They're from our friends." Callie sadly smiled up at her mother in law as she pulled another card from the yellow Gerbera Daisies to read.
Arizona and Callie
Get well soon,
With love, from all the staff at the Tiny Humans Clinic
"And these are from Teddy and everyone at the clinic."
"You have a good support system behind you two." Barbara walked up to the brunette.
"Yeah, we do." She laughed when she saw the bottle of Tequila with ribbons hanging off the neck with a card attached, knowing who it was from without even reading the card.
We love you.
Cristina and Owen.
Hearing her wife's phone buzzing, Arizona peeked open her eyes as she answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Dr. Torres?" She heard on the other end.
"No, it's Dr. Robbins." She mumbled into the speaker.
"I'm sorry Dr. Robbins, I hate to do this right now, but is Dr. Torres around? We had an emergency page come in and they're needing her." April said on the line.
"It's okay, I'll let her know, go ahead and tell them she's on her way." She sat up and looked around, seeing her wife and mother in the kitchen. Opening the door, "Callie?" She said as her wife turned towards her. "What's wrong?" She asked, seeing her wife wipe some tears away.
"Nothing. What are you doing awake?"
Letting it go for now. "April called, they need you at the clinic." She said walking into the house, seeing the flowers that had been delivered.
"I... No. No I'm not leaving you. If it's that bad they can just go on to the hospital."
"Callie, I'll be okay. Mama and Daddy are still here, plus I'm just going to lay around and nap the rest of the day anyway. Go on in, a tiny human needs you."
"But you need me." She whispered softly.
"I did, I still do." She said walking up to the brunette. "You've been absolutely amazing but a tiny human needs you for a little while."
"Arizona, I'm really not in the best mind set to be working." Callie protested.
"You're going. I already told them you were on your way."
"Fine." She sighed. "But if they really need surgery I'm going to send them to the hospital."
"No you're not." Arizona smiled. She knew her wife hated turning down surgeries for any reason. "You're going to go and check them out and if they need surgery you're going to perform it. They come to us for the best and you're the best." She said, placing her hands on her wife's hips. "You were there for me when I needed you most, now you'll go and be there for some little kid."
"Okay. As long as you're not alone. I don't want you to be by yourself right now."
"We'll stay. Daniel and I have absolutely nothing planned. We'll stay with her until you get back." She said, walking up and placing her hand on her daughters shoulder.
"I'll be fine, honey." She said, hugging her wife around the waist.
"I really don't wanna go." Callie said hugging her back.
"I don't want you to either, but I'd be selfish if I'd let you stay. So go." She said pulling back.
"Okay." She agreed. "I'll be home as soon as I can." She said, pecking pink lips.
"Okay. I love you, Calliope."
"I love you too, get some more rest babe." Callie replied, grabbing her keys and disappearing out the front door to go to work.
"You want me to make you some tea dear?" Barbara asked when they were alone.
"Yeah mama tea sounds good. Will you bring it upstairs? I want to lay down."
"Sure thing sweetie." Barbara said as Arizona called for the dogs to follow her upstairs to her bedroom for an afternoon nap.
Going upstairs, the blonde changed into a light T-shirt and a pair of yoga pants before slipping in bed with her boys. Since yesterday, neither one had let Arizona out of their sight.
"Come in." She said when she heard a knock at the door.
"I have your tea sweetie." Barbara said walking into her daughters room.
"Thanks mama." She said, sitting up in the bed.
"I brought you a cream horn too."
"I swear I'm going to gain thirty pounds before you and daddy leave tonight." She chuckled as she picked the pastry up and took a bite.
"So how are you feeling sweetie?" Barbara asked her daughter. She hadn't really got the chance to talk to her yet.
"I'm okay mama. It's heartbreaking and a bit of a shock, but I felt something was wrong yesterday. Addison said it wasn't anything I did, said these things happen." She shrugged. She was devastated that she lost the baby, but she realized that no matter how long she dwelled over it, it wouldn't change the fact that it happened so she needed to pick up the pieces and move on which was turning out to be very hard.
"They do." Barbara said, getting in bed beside her daughter.
"Callie's holding back her feelings and she doesn't need too. She needs to let it out just like me."
"She's just trying to stay strong for you honey. I think she's afraid it would upset you more."
"I want us to be strong for each other, but I need her to let me know how she's feeling." She breathed. "I feel like I've let her down."
"Oh, Arizona you haven't let anyone down, especially Callie. She's just sad like you. She wants to do something for you but she doesn't know what to do besides show up. You are her main priority right now and being strong for you is the only thing she knows to do. She doesn't have time to be upset if she's busy being strong."
"It's going to backfire on her though. She'll keep it in until she can't take any more. I know Calliope, it's only a matter of time until something will break her."
"I think she feels as if she shouldn't be as upset as you are, because you lost the baby."
"But it was her baby too, Mama." She said sadly.
"I know sweetie."
"It's just not fair mom." Arizona broke down.
"Oh Zona." Barbara said, holding her daughter. "I know it hurts honey, but you'll get through it. I promise you." She knew how her daughter was feeling. The older Robbins sat there and soothed her daughter until the blonde cried herself to sleep.
Walking out of the OR room, Callie hung her head low. She hadn't lost a patient since Wallace Anderson almost two years ago, but this one was different. Wallace had been slowly dying for years, but Carla her six year old patient, had been full of life just a day ago. She had been laughing and playing with her brother and sister just yesterday and now she was on her way to the morgue.
While walking into her office, her anger was taking over. Grabbing the first thing she found, Callie threw the empty glass vase against the wall behind her desk before she slid down the door. Bringing her legs to her chest, the brunette began to cry for her and her wife's loss and the loss of the little girl she just operated on. She wasn't one to get this upset over a patient loss too often, sure they were tough, but she always managed to push through and move on to save the next kid. But the loss of Carla was tough because she was still feeling the affects of her and her wife's loss yesterday. The pain of losing a baby you'd never even met was hard enough, she couldn't imagine the pain of losing one that you've raised and nurtured for six years.
Allowing a few minutes to fall apart, Callie then collected herself enough to talk to Carla's parents. Breaking the news to them that their child was one of those rare cases where the patient had uncontrollable bleeding during a routine procedure. After consoling her patient, Callie went back to her office to finish up her paper work. Deciding to check on her wife, she dialed the blondes number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Daniel."
"Hey, Callie." He said, hearing a bit of exhaustion in her voice. "You alright? You sound tired."
"I'm okay."She sighed. "I just lost a patient is all. Is Arizona around?"
"I'm sorry. She's asleep honey. I could wake her if you want?"
"No, no. Let her sleep. I was just calling to check on her."
"She's doing alright. She's upstairs in bed with the dogs. They won't leave her side."
"No, they've been very protective of her since we came home yesterday. Which is kind of odd, they've not had much to do with her since she got pregnant."
"Sometimes dogs don't like change."
"Yeah." Callie agreed. "I'm still going to be stuck here a while doing some paper work and such, just let her know if she wakes before I make it home."
"I will honey. You sure you're okay? I could come down and sit with you so you don't have to be alone." Daniel asked.
"No, I'm just going to be an hour or so and I'll be home. I'm fine."
"Okay, see you in a bit."
"Bye." She said, once again with tears in her eyes for the twentieth time today. She was tired of saying she was fine when she was anything but.
Forty-five minutes later, Callie found herself standing outside of Joes bar. She hadn't even finished her paper work for the day before she stormed out of the office in need of something, she wasn't quiet sure. All she knew was she didn't want to be alone and she wasn't quiet ready to go home yet. Walking downstairs, she saw a small group of their friends that only consisted of Mark, Lexie, Meredith and Derek. Not wanting sympathy glares or small talk, she went straight to the bar and sat down in the corner and ordered a shot.
She had promised herself she would only have one or two just to take the edge off, but that was many shots ago. Mark had spotted her right after she had came in. He knew her better than anyone and when he saw the look she had, he decided it was best to stay away and let her have some space.
"Ericaaa.." Callie yelped, seeing her old friend walk up to the bar some time later. She didn't have a problem talking to Erica tonight because she didn't know what was going on in the brunettes life and Callie wanted to talk to someone who didn't have a clue.
"Hey, Callie." She said, accepting her drink from the bartender and sitting beside her friend.
"Why aren't you in the back with everyone else?"
"Don't wanna." Callie slurred, swallowing down her eighth shot.
"Where's Arizona?"
"Home." She motioned for another shot, she knew she should have went home an hour ago but one shot lead to another and then another and here she was, shit faced.
"How many of those have you had?"
"I don't know I lost count somewhere around five. Fiveeee..." She stressed thinking the word sounded funny.
"Oookay, how about you have a water or a sprite next time?" Erica said, watching Callie down another shot. "I'm so jealous right now." She said, only wishing she felt half as good as Callie was right now.
"How about not." She mumbled. "And you don't want to be jealous of me right now."
"Oh, so bad day?"
"You could say that." She said looking down at her buzzing phone and reading the text for her wife.
- Callie, are you still at the office? I have tried calling you several times. Teddy stopped by this evening and told me what happened. I'm sorry sweetie. Come home! - XO Arizona -
Feeling guilty for being out drinking while her wife was at home, Callie stood up. "Whoa.." She said, feeling the ground move under her.
"Easy Cal." Erica said, placing a steady hand on her friends shoulder. "You alright?"
"Yeah. I just need to get home." She said, picking up her keys. "I have to be there for her." She mumbled.
"Oh no you don't." The blonde said taking the keys from the brunette.
"I'm not stupid Erica, I know I can't drive." She slurred. "I was going to take.. a cab home."
"Let me or someone else take you home. You're in no shape to be jumping in a cab by yourself this drunk. No telling what would happen and I'm sure Arizona would probably have my head if she found out I'd let you go home like that."
"Tell Mark to drive my car home. He's the only one I'd trust driving it back." She said, her body swaying.
"Okay. You sit down here." Erica said, guiding her back down on the stool. "And I'll give Mark your keys."
"Aye Aye Captain." Callie said downing Erica's cocktail as the tall woman walk over to Mark who was playing darts.
"Where are you going?" Barbara asked her daughter when she stood up and stormed out of the room.
"I'm going to go look for her." Arizona said, worriedly as she put her tennis shoes on. "It's not like her to not answer, what if something's wrong."
"If she's not at the office where in the world would she have went?" Barbara asked her daughter. "I'm sure she's there, maybe she's feel asleep. You're both exhausted."
"What time did she call daddy?"
"It was about 5 o'clock. She said she'd be home within an hour or so." Daniel replied. "She did sound tired honey, it's very possible she fell asleep."
"It's nine o'clock, that was four hours ago. She doesn't take long naps. Where the hell could she be?" Arizona asked herself, picking up her jeep keys.
"You stay here, I'll go look for her." Daniel said, stopping his daughter.
"No, daddy, I'm going to find her. Because when I see her it's not going to be pretty." She said just as their doorbell rang.
"Maybe that's her." Barbara stood up from the couch where they were gathered while waiting on the brunette to get home.
"This is her house Barbara she wouldn't be ringing the doorbell."
Walking to the door, Arizona swung the door open. "Erica?"
"Hey, Arizona. I hate to bother you, but I have Callie with me, I just need some help getting her up."
"Up?" Arizona said walking out on her porch and looking around for her wife. "What do you mean, up?"
"Well.. I helped her out of my car but she fell in the yard and she's dead weight, she said she just wanted to lay in the grass. I can't get her up."
"She's drunk?" Arizona crossed her arms.
"Yeah."
"Where was she?"
"Joes. She was going to take a cab, but I didn't think it was safe for her to go alone." Erica said as Barbara and Daniel stood in the front door. "She's pretty waisted. She hurled in the street while they were getting her in the car."
"Damn it." She said, hanging her head. This was exactly what she was afraid of. "They?"
"Mark and Derek."
"Thanks Erica. I'll take it from here." She sighed, walking down the steps as the other blonde turned and left.
Walking up to where her wife was lying in the grass. "Callie?"
"Heyyyyy, Arizonaaa." She stressed her words. "Lay with meee. The sky is sooo.. Wow it's clear, you can see every single star out."
"There is no stars out Callie, it's about to rain. Get up." Arizona was upset at Callie for not answering her calls. She felt her wife could have at least let her know where she was. That she was safe, so yeah she was definitely mad. But she couldn't help but think if the roles were reversed, she'd probably be in the same state as Callie. "Get up." she said again when her wife didn't budge.
"Come on... lay with me." She looked up at her wife with a pouting face. "It's ah beau-ful night. Not as beau-ful as your face but it's close." She smiled. "Okay it's not." She shook her head. "Whoa.. note to self." She said, grabbing onto the grass. "Don't shake your head when you've had a few drinks." She laughed.
"You're drunk!" She stated as she looked back to the porch where her parents stood.
"Do you want me to bring her in?" Daniel asked her as the rain started.
"No daddy, she's my wife so I'll deal with her mess." She said as her parents decided to turn and walk back inside.
"Hey... I'm not a mess." Callie slurred as she tried a few times to stand up. "Whoops..." she mumbled as her hands slipped on the wet grass. "What the hell, get me off this merry go round." She stumbled when she finally made it to her feet.
"Whoa.." Arizona breathed when Callie grabbed onto her for stability. "Come on." She lead her up the front porch and into the foyer where Callie tried to take her shoes off, only to trip over her feet.
"Opps." She giggled when she tumbled to the floor. "I think I fell." She leaned her back againt the wall. "How the hell did I get all wet?" She looked up at the ceiling.
"It was raining before you came in Callie." She stood over her wife with her hands on her hips. "Are we going to talk about this?"
"Nooope." Callie said, trying to stand up again. Grabbing ahold of the table by the door, she pulled herself up.
"I think we should."
"Well I think we shouldn't." Callie shrugged. "And I also think I'm hungry." She said, pulling her wet shirt over her head, thankfully she had on a tank top underneath.
"Callie."
"I don't have anything to say, Arizona. I lost a patient. It's not first time and I'm sure it wont be the last, so end of story!"
"Oh." Arizona scoffed. "I think you have plenty to say because if you didn't, you wouldn't be standing here drunk out of your mind." She said, staring her wife down when she saw the brunette wasn't going to talk. "Fine you don't have anything to say, I'll talk. I was worried about you. My dad said that you'd be home in an hour or so. That was four hours ago Callie. Do you know how worried I was? I didn't know where you were, if you were okay or safe. I though you might have wrecked and was lying on the side of the road somewhere." She said raising her voice. She knew the whole reason Callie was out drinking was because she lost her patient on top of the loss of their baby, but that still wasn't a reason not to let her know that she was okay. "But evidently you were just out having a grand old time loving life at the bar."
"I wasn't out having a good time Arizona. I went there hoping to take my mind off everything if only for a minute, but you know what I did? I sat there and sat there and sat there, trying to think... What could I do to make things better. You know what I came up with? Not a goddamn thing. There is nothing I can do to make anything better right now." Callie said, bracing herself up against the wall with her hand so she wouldn't fall as her world started to spin again. "I went to have a drink.. one drink before I came home. I'm sorry I didn't call and tell you. I had no intention of staying.." She said looking at her watch. "..three hours." She said looking up at her wife. She didn't realize she had been gone that long. "I'm sorry, Arizona."
"Callie." Arizona sighed. "You know I don't care that you were out, but you could have called me or at least texted me so I wouldn't worry. My dad and Teddy told me about Carla dying and I've been pacing the floor worried about you ever since. I have every right to worry about you, you're my wife."
"Will you just stop." Callie yelled at her. The whole reason she was at Joes in the first place was to forget about the the past twenty four hours. "I don't want to talk about it." She said, bringing her hands up to her face.
"That's the problem Callie. You're not talking is why we're standing here right now yelling at each other."
"I've been talking Arizona, what else do you want me to say? Huh? Do you want me to really tell you how it's killing me that I lost a patient? Okay fine I it breaks my heart. Happy now?"
"No, Callie that's not what I meant."
"I'm too drunk for this conversation." She turned and let out a laugh, but she didn't know what at. Seeing Barbara and Daniel sitting in their living room, acting like they were oblivious to their fighting. "Isn't that just great." She sighed as she staggered her way into the kitchen.
"I want you to talk to me. I want to know how your feeling."
"No." Callie said taking a water out of the refrigerator.
"Callie.." She followed her wife.
"No, Arizona. How am I suppose to stay strong for you if I tell you that I'm heartbroken, not only for those parents who lost their kid today, but for myself.. for us! Huh? That all I want to do is sit and cry, but I can't. So no, I'm not talking about it."
"You can tell me that."
"I need someone to stay strong Arizona. I can't expect you too.. it's not fair. You lost the baby, so I will be strong for you.. for myself. Okay. Please, just let me." Callie said taking a big drink of her water, trying to keep her demeanor up.
"You don't have to stay strong, Calliope. You wanted this just as much as I did. It's okay to be upset."
Callie teetered over to the French doors to get some fresh air, but as she swung the door open it knocked her off balance causing her to crash to the floor. "Callie." Arizona yelled as her wife fell on her ass and started laughing. But soon, the brunettes laughter turned into a sob. "Calliope." She sighed, quickly rushing over to her wife.
"No." She whispered as she felt Arizona kneel down behind her. "Don't touch me." She cried as her wife placed her hands on her shoulders.
"Stop telling me no." Arizona said, moving in front of her wife to hug her. She had never seen Callie in such a state before.
"Please.." Callie begged. "Don't hug me." She said grabbing her wife's hands, stopping the blonde from embracing her. "If you hug me I'm going to cry and if I start crying I won't stop." She chocked out a sob. "We lost our baby, Arizona." Her walls finally broke down.
"I know.. I know, honey." Arizona sat down on the floor and pulled her wife into her lap as they both cried together.
"How can you miss something you never really had?" She asked her wife between sobs.
"I don't know." Arizona closed her eyes and held onto her wife and cried. She wished she had an answer for her, but she was thinking the same thing. "It's okay for you to be upset when I'm not upset, Calliope. I want to hold you when you cry."
Standing in the foyer watching the whole scene play out before them, Daniel placed his arm around his wife. "Come on honey. Let's go home, they need to be alone."
"They're breaking my heart Daniel." She said, wiping a tear away.
"They'll be fine honey. They're both a lot stronger than they realize." He said as they locked the front door and headed out to their SUV.
"It's okay to cry, Calliope. Let me be here for you too." Arizona said as she continued to sooth her crying wife for minutes.
"I want to be the person you lean on and if I'm upset how can you lean on me." The brunette chocked out.
"We can lean on each other. I need you to lean on me just as much as I need to lean on you. It's not always you against the world all the time, Callie. I'm right here by your side." She said, holding her wife's head to her chest as she rocked them. "I love how you feel the need to protect me, Calliope. You love me so much you don't want to see me hurt. But I feel the same way so please, let me protect you too."
"Okay.." Callie sniffed.
"You're feeling the same way I'm feeling right now. You're upset, mad and angry at the world. Probably questioning why us, right? Cause I know I am."
"Yeah." Callie whispered holding onto her wife as silent tears still escaped her eyes.
"But we'll get through it. You know how I know?"
"How?" Callie asked, sitting up and looking into her wife's eyes.
"Because at the end of the day, I still have you and you have me. And I know as long as you're here, I can get through anything." Arizona said, wiping her wife's tear stained cheeks.
Nodding. Callie knew her wife was right, she could get through anything when Arizona was involved. "I'm sorry I got drunk and didn't tell you. I didn't mean to make you worry, Arizona. I really didn't."
"I'm sorry you lost your patient." She said by accepting her wife's apology.
"Thanks." Callie said, resting her head on the blondes shoulder, just reveling if the comforting feel of her wife's embrace. "Arizona?" She whispered after a while.
"Yes, baby?"
"Do you think you'll want to try again? Not right now of course, but eventually?" She asked. If her wife didn't want too she would be more than willing to carry their first child.
"I've thought about that a lot today." Arizona said, rubbing her wife's back.
"You have?"
"Yeah. This is really hard, it's just like you said. How can I miss something I never really had? We weren't that far along, but this baby was already apart of both of us. So I do.. I miss our baby, but I'm not letting this heart break keep us from our dream. I hope you won't either."
"I don't want it too."
"Good. Because I still want your baby. It's like that old saying. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." She chuckled softly.
"Thank you?" Callie whispered, turning her face into the blondes neck.
"For what?"
"For forcing it out of me, I feel a lot better." She said, kissing her wife's neck.
"Don't thank me yet, you may be the one holding me in two hours while I cry."
"I will gladly do that." Callie said hugging her wife tight. "I love you, Arizona. So much."
"I love you even more, baby." Arizona said as Callie tried to kiss her lips. "Uh-huh.." she said turning her head.
"Wha? Why?" She pouted.
"Because you're breath smells like tequila and vomit." The blonde laughed.
"It does not."
"Yeah it does." Arizona teased. "Come on, lets get you up. You need tons of water and some food."
"Will you fix me some noodles. I could really go for some alfreo right now, even though yours isn't as good as mine."
"Gee, thanks." She laughed. "Lets get you to the bathroom first."
"Yeah.. that's a good idea." Callie said blowing out a breath of air trying to see if her breath really smelled.