Three days had past and they had packed up her entire house and put it in the back of a moving truck. Despite the fact that her and the kids had only lived there for a little more than a year, she was saddened to see this part of her life come to an end. Hunter and Savannah were sad to leave behind their new friends and their new school and Tania was sad to leave her good friend Michelle behind.
"How are you holding up?" Michelle asked, sitting down on the front step beside Tania, "You have been sitting out here by yourself for a while."
"Sad to leave, but happy at the same time," Tania replied, smiling at Michelle, "I have a rough road ahead of me and I'm prepared for whatever is in store for me."
"So, this Chibs guy..." Michelle began, giving Tania a curious smile, "Who is he? Who is he to you?"
Tania was stumped on both those questions. She had struggled the last three days with these feelings that were just beneath the surface and whenever she was in a room with him, whether they were with a bunch of people or if they were alone, it was hard for her to not touch him somehow. To put her hand on his shoulder, to run her fingers over the scars on his face, to bury her face in the leather of his kutte and breath in his scent, all of these things she had to struggle not to do.
"Chibs has been around since I was about 13," Tania replied quietly, "He watched me grow up, actually he kind of helped raise me. When Ope and I went through the miscarriage, he was the one I turned to. Opie didn't understand me and what I was going through and I just couldn't talk to him anymore. Chibs let me talk and he let me cry and he just let me be me. He turned out to be a very good friend to me when I needed him to be."
"How much older is he than you?" she asked curiously.
"I'm 36 and he's 49," Tania replied, "There's nothing between us Michelle, if that's what you are implying."
"Well, the way he looks at you would suggest otherwise Peyton," Michelle replied, elbowing her in the side playfully, "If there was something there, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that. The look on your face right now says that you are confused about the situation."
"I'll keep you posted," Tania said with a smile.
Nothing else was said after that. They got up and walked into the house to finish the clean up before Tania and her family moved back to Charming.
A couple hours later after Tania had said goodbye to Michelle, she stood outside her cute little house with Gemma and said goodbye to her home.
"Are you sure you're ok with driving the kids Gem?" Tania asked her, "I can drive them."
"You have worked yourself to the bone sweetheart," Gemma replied, "You go with Chibs and just relax. You need to rest."
Tania was quit exhausted. She hadn't been sleeping properly, she went to bed late and woke up early and she worked hard during the day. She had gone to see her doctor before she left. He was sad to see her go, but he knew of a good oncologist that worked directly out of St. Thomas in Charming. He said he would put in a referral and hopefully she would get in to see her next week.
"Have you told Chibs yet?" Gemma asked, breaking Tania out of her thoughts.
"No Gem, I haven't said anything to him," Tania replied, "I don't know how to tell him. I don't want him to feel sorry for me."
"He wouldn't feel sorry for you. He cares about you, he would want to be there for you," Gemma replied, looking at her, "That whole club cares about you and they would give the vests off their backs to protect you and keep you safe."
"I just don't want to hurt him... or them," Tania whispered, "Just let me do this on my time ok Gem?"
"You have my word sweetheart," Gemma replied, "I know I broke my word the first time, but Jackson needed to know."
Tania smiled and acknowledged her before dropping the key in the mail box and walking to her car. She wanted to say bye to her babies before they got on the road. They had planned to stop on Los Angeles that evening and stay at a motel and then finish off the trip the next day. It was already 1:30 in the afternoon, and driving 10 hours in one go would be too long for the kids.
"Hey baby," Tania said to Hunter, kneeling down by the car, "You be good for Aunty Gemma ok? We'll stop somewhere to go pee and then we will stop to sleep. You going to be ok?"
"I'll be fine momma," Hunter replied smiling at her, "So will Savannah."
Tania smiled over at her baby girl. "You ready to back to Charming?" she asked her.
"Do we get to see Uncle Jax and Uncle Juice and Uncle Tiggy?" Savannah asked her, kicking her legs back and forth in her booster seat.
"Of course you get see them!" Tania exclaimed, giggling with her daughter, "They will be there waiting for us when we get there."
"Yay!" Savannah squealed, "Then I'm ready to go back to Charming!"
Tania stood up and kissed Hunter on the forehead before closing the backseat door and then she ran to the other side. Savannah had her arms wide open to hug her. Tania's heart melted. She leaned down and gave her baby girl a big hug and big kiss on the lips. She closed the door and then turned to make her way over to the moving truck. Chibs was standing outside smoking a cigarette and watching her every move and all of a sudden she felt very self conscious.
"We're all set," I said to Gemma, "We'll stop in a couple hours for a drink and pee break."
"Sounds good," Gemma replied, "We'll follow you guys. Be good."
Tania's mouth dropped open and Gemma winked at her. She had been figured out. But she didn't understand how Gemma could figure it out before she did. She had no idea what was going on. Gemma had always been that way though. She somehow knew everything, even before it actually happened. Tania waved at Gemma and walked towards the truck.
"Let's get out of here," she said to Chib's before climbing into the truck.
A couple hours later Chibs pulled over at a gas station just off the highway to get gas and have a smoke. He was pretty sure the kiddies would like a break as well to stretch their legs and get a drink. He looked over at Tania who had been fast asleep since they pretty much left Phoenix. A piece of her dark hair had fallen in her face and he reached over and pushed it behind her ear. She was beautiful, but she looked tired and troubled.
He quietly got out of the truck and began filling the truck up with gas when Gemma and the kids ran over to him.
"Hey baby," Gemma said quietly with a little concern in her voice, "How's she doing?"
"She's exhausted Gem," Chibs replied, "She's been asleep since she got in the truck."
Once he was done gassing up the truck he put the nozzle back on the holder and pulled out his wallet. He handed Hunter a $5.00 bill.
"Go grab yourselves something to drink," he said, messing up Hunter's hair.
Hunter stuck his tongue out at Chibs and then grabbed Savannah's hand and they ran to the store squealing and giggling. He loved being around them, they were always such happy kids, even after all that they had been through.
"I should go keep an eye on them," Gemma replied, smiling at him and turning towards the store, "Do you want anything?"
Chibs shook his head and then turned towards the truck. He could tell that Tania was beginning to wake up, so he slowly made his way to the passenger side door. She smiled at him and rolled down her window.
"Hey you," she said sleepily, "Sorry I fell asleep for so long?"
"Don't worry love," Chibs said, resting his hand on the edge of the window, "You were clearly tired. Just gave the kids some money to grab some drinks."
"Thanks for doing that, I can pay you back," Tania replied, "Are they doing ok? Being good for Gemma?"
"Don't worry about it, it was just five bucks," Chibs said, "The kids are doing great. Laughing and squealing and having a great time."
She smiled at this. It took everything in him to not reach over and run his hand through her hair. He wanted to touch her so bad, to hold her and kiss her. She looked up at him and her smile disappeared and it was replaced with a look he had seen only once before, a few nights ago when they both couldn't sleep. What did that look mean, he silently asked himself.
"Thank you for everything Chibs," she said quietly, reaching up and putting her hand on top of his, "I really don't think I could have done this without you and Gemma."
He nodded his head and then looked down at her hand on top of his. Her hand was warm and it felt so good on his. She followed his gaze down to their hands and she quickly attempted to pull her hand away. He grabbed her hand and held it in his.
"Why are you so quick to pull away love?," he asked quietly, looking at her.
She was flustered and he could see that he was making her nervous.
"I wasn't... I just..." Tania stammered, looking down at her hands, "I don't know... I don't know what this is..."
Chibs had no idea what to say to that. He knew what he wanted it to be and where he wanted it to go, but he couldn't push her into something she was unsure about.
"I'm sorry love," Chibs said quietly, "I won't push you. I just want you to know that you can always talk to me and you can lean on me if you need to."
"Thank you Chibs," she said quietly.
She looked straight ahead and said nothing more. He had confused her, but he confused himself as well. He walked back to the driver's side of the truck and got in. He had to prepare himself for two hours of silence.
Tania sat in the truck with her head against the window. Her heart was confused. She had assumed that he was feeling something for her based on his earlier question. She didn't mean to pull away so quickly, she just didn't want things to move too quickly. She had to focus on her children and her health and she didn't want to hurt him with that news.
The only problem that she had with that was that he was in her thoughts 24 hours a day. All she could see was his face and the way he looked at her. God he was handsome, she thought. Every feature of his face was beautiful to her. She thought often of that night a few nights ago and sometimes she wished that she would have just gone for it.
She looked over at him and he was staring straight ahead, concentrating on the road. He hadn't spoken a word to her since they got back on the road and it felt a little bit awkward. She had no idea how to fix it.
She continued to look out the window and watch the cars going the other way pass by and without giving it another thought she reached over, pulled Chibs' right hand from the steering wheel and put her hand in his. No words were spoken but the look in his eyes said everything.
To hell with it, she thought to herself. Might as well start somewhere.