TIt's About All of Us
Nick paced the width of the guest room a couple of time before stopping at the foot of Heath's sick bed. He had not done as his mother had asked right away; he couldn't as the words seemed to vanish every time he tried to talk. Now, twelve hours later, the blonde haired cowboy's fever had gone down some. And, to everyone's amazement, he'd even stirred now and then. Still, the doctor would not venture to guess whether or not he had been successful in saving both Heath's life and the leg. The only thing Dr. Merar would say is that he would know for sure the next time he came to the house. Finally, Nick took a deep breath and began talking as he rested his hands on the top of the bed's foot board.
"I don't know if I'm wasting my breath or not, but I guess I need to take the chance. I mean, you actually heard me last time. You might again." Nick tapped the foot board and then began telling Heath all about how Jarrod, Nick and Tom had worked to build up the ranch. He talked about how close they'd been up to the day Tom was shot. "We all thought we knew our father and, to a degree we did." Nick growled low as he added, "None of us ever dreamed he could be unfaithful to our mother. Yes, we were angry when you first made your claim. To admit the truth of it would have meant we had to acknowledge my father messed up, and none of us wanted to do that." Nick pushed off the foot board and made his way to the chair that sat next to the bed. He pulled it away from the bed and sat down, clasping his hands and raising them as to make it so he could rest his chin on his closed fists.
"You've got to fight this harder! Did you hear anything Jarrod said to you? Don't you realize how badly Jarrod blames himself for this? Do you know how badly he wants a chance to get to know you? The same thing with Audra, Gene-who should have talked to you more than they did if you ask me-and mother and me; yes, I said me." Nick took a deep breath. "I'm not saying that because I'm going to sit here and promise you that there won't any problems as we all adjust to having another member to this family. In fact, I can guarantee I'll mess up more than once along the way. If anything, we'll butt heads for quite some time. I'm famous for that sort of thing, butting heads with people out of my own stubbornness. I'm also not going to lie to you and say there won't be major problems with the rest of the men when they find out your father's son. I'm sure a few of them will be more than happy to cause you problems." Nick took a deep breath and then changed subjects, "Doc came by a little while ago. He can't guarantee anything about your leg yet, though he did do as you asked. However, I want you to know that if any part of it has to come off, or if it's permanently damaged due to all the infection, you won't have to worry about having to live off charity. It's like Jarrod said just this morning, if you lose part of that leg there are such things as prosthetic legs, and I'm not talking about old fashioned peg legs either." Nick took a deep breath and continued talking. "This is a working ranch and, no matter what, there will be plenty for you to do. You won't ever have a chance to leave the house and return with a dry shirt!" Full of nervous energy, Nick stood up and began pacing the floor as he continued talking.
"You got to wake up for good, boy!" Nick turned around; the frustration he felt came pouring out. "It's been almost five days! If you're going to waltz into our lives, the least you can do is stick around and talk to the family for awhile!" He turned back to the window and, laying his hands on the window pane, rested his forehead on the window pane. No sooner had he done that than Jarrod entered the room and walked up beside him.
Out of all the members of the family, it had been Jarrod who had figured out just why Nick internally fought about the talk he'd apparently just given Heath. Heath's physical looks, combined with the Barkley stubbornness, reminded Nick too much of their father…and that hurt worse than he or anyone could imagine. "He's improving, Nick. He'll be awake soon. You'll see." Jarrod did his best to assure Nick. With all the time he and his siblings had spent talking with the blonde haired cowboy, Heath had to at least regain consciousness long enough to talk with them.
"None of us…you, the others and me… can take this anymore." Nick growled in an uncharacteristic quiet volume. "Fine, he's our brother. Fine, he should live in the house with the rest of us, but he's got to wake up to do any of that! Like you said before I came in here, this isn't about Heath being father's son. It's about him being a part of each and every one of our lives!" He paused and then asked when the doctor was going to come again.
"He said he'd be by sometime today if he can make it, tomorrow morning at the latest. Let's pray and hope for the best." Jarrod answered slowly. He then added quietly, "We might not have got a chance to get to know Thomas, but we'll have a chance to get to know Heath. I just know we will." Even as he said the words, Jarrod prayed he was right.
~oOo~
Heath heard Jarrod and Nick talking. He heard everything the two brothers said. He couldn't help but inwardly sigh. However, before he had time to blink an eye Heath was shocked to find himself standing roughly two hundred yards from the bluest river he'd ever seen. It was indeed one very wide river, probably the widest he'd ever seen. When he felt a presence next to him, he turned expecting to see Tom Barkley next to him. He was shocked beyond measure to see not Tom, but his own mother, Leah, instead.
"Am I dying now? Did you come for me?" Heath asked as he looked at his mother with questioning eyes. Leah didn't reply until she led him to a couple of boulders.
"Your father was supposed to come and talk to you, but I asked if I could in his place." Leah sat on the boulder closest to the river and then gestured for Heath to sit on the one next to her.
Heath did as he was asked, but then demanded as politely as he knew how to be told what was going on. "I told Tom Barkley I was tired of this Limbo bit and, from what I heard Jarrod and Nick saying, they and the rest of the Barkley family are too."
"They're your family too." Leah sighed as she closed her eyes and let the breeze that had started to blow caress her face. "As far as this state of Limbo you're in," Leah opened her eyes and sighed as she looked at Heath. "You're keeping yourself in it."
"What?" Heath flew to his feet and stared at his mother. "What do you mean? I'm keeping myself in it? Since when?"
Leah gave him a sympathetic smile. "You're torn between living and dying. A part of you is tired, and you've got the right to be. You've had to fight your whole life to prove yourself to be just as good of a man as the next. That part of you wants to cross that river and to go to the peace that can be found there." She pointed towards the river rolling past them, "However, since listening to what your half siblings had to say you've also realized how much you'd like to give being a part of the Barkley family a shot too. Most of the time such a dilemma is not a problem as one does not have a say in when they are called to leave their earthly home. However, in this case, it's causing a huge problem. You need to let go and accept HIS will in everything, or you will remain in Limbo." Leah looked at her son with compassion in her eyes and Heath instantly knew she was talking about his leg. Leah sighed and then asked, "How fair would that be to yourself or them? I mean, how fair would it be to remain in Limbo? You need to let go and let it be one way or the other."
Heath sat back down and dropped his shoulders as he thought on all that had been said to him by his half brothers and half sister. He took a deep breath, letting out the stress of the situation. His mother was right, and he knew it. After what seemed like an eternity, he hung his head and did something he hadn't done in a long time… he prayed for the strength to accept whatever was to be. As he did so, he could have sworn he heard Jarrod and Nick begin to yell, and he felt something hit his chest…and hit it hard.