Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or ideas from The Killing. It's all just for fun.

Spoilers: Season 3, episode 7

Linden's sitting at the table with Holder, eating the Chinese food that he showed up with at her door (or inside her door, to be precise, since she'd left the keys in the keyhole and he'd let himself in). Without looking up at him, she says, "Thanks for the takeout, nice of you to do that."

"Yeah, well, you are welcome. I needed an excuse to get out of there anyway."

Based on the fact that it has been about an hour since he dropped her off at home, she doesn't believe that he actually went back to the station, but she lets it go. She chuckles as she says, "If one more person asked me if I was alright… I swear…"

Holder looks down at the table, then pulls his eyes back up to her without moving his head. He wants to know the answer even more than the rest of them. Quietly, almost cautiously, he asks, "Well, are you alright?"

Linden is caught off guard. She glances up at him from her food, where she'd been concentrating her attention, but finds that she can't hold eye contact with him. She looks down, and then up at him again for a second, finally letting her eyes rest back on her food before answering. She replies simply, "Yeah, I'm fine." It's clear to him that she isn't okay.

Typical Linden, Holder thinks. She really is a terrible liar. He wonders if she actually believes that she's fine, or if she's just saying it, as he watches her eat. She doesn't look back up at him.

He isn't sure how to tell her how relieved he is that she's safe, he only knows that he needs to tell her. After only a slight hesitation, he just goes for it. "Thought I lost you there for a second," he begins.

Linden looks up at him, surprised.

"Just when I was getting used to you," Holder continues.

They look at each other for a few seconds without speaking.

Holder's at a loss for what else to say, finally settling for, "That was scary, huh?" They're still looking at each other. He's not sure exactly what he's expecting her to say or do, but he doesn't want her to just brush this aside and pretend that it was nothing. Because he knows her, he knows that she shuts everyone out to deal with things that bother her, himself included. She probably won't talk, he knows, which is okay with him as long as she's listening. But he's pretty sure that she needs to talk about it, if she can manage it.

They maintain eye contact for about ten seconds more before Linden looks away and exhales sharply, but still doesn't respond. She looks back down at her food.

Holder continues to wait, and his patience is rewarded a minute or so later. "I couldn't see him, you know?" Linden glances up, then back down. "Just his eyes in the mirror. And his voice."

Holder watches her carefully, though she's not looking at him.

"I kept thinking that this must've been what it was like for all those girls. How alone they must have felt. Just his eyes…" Her voice cracks then, and he wishes he could do something for her besides just listening. "…You know, looking at them. Knowing that that was the last thing they were gonna see." She takes a deep breath and sighs, putting down her chopsticks. "Only it wasn't him." She's exhausted from the effort required to say just those few sentences, and she feels as defeated as she looks, still staring down at the table in front of her.

The look on Holder's face is one of frustration. "I should've got there sooner," he says seriously. It's all he can think about, how he somehow should have stopped this ordeal from happening to her.

Linden finally looks up again. She wonders why he's feeling guilty, when he's the one who figured it all out. She's still having trouble understanding why he looks so shaken over something that happened to her, of all people. She's not used to anyone caring that much. "You got there. You found me."

They look at each other again and she smiles slightly. He looks at her seriously, leaning forward and sighing. It's as though within a minute, they've traded and he's the one who's upset and she's trying to console him. What a pair we are, Linden can't help but think.

Linden

When Holder asked me if I was alright I just… I mean how many people had asked me that already today? Fifty? Could've been more. I have no idea, really. Probably everyone in that damn department, some of them a whole bunch of times. I answered them all the same way. "Yes, I'm fine." Sure, I went through something terrifying, but I wasn't hurt, and the rest of them seemed to take me at my word.

The scary thing about Holder asking me the same question is that he knows me well enough not to believe me when I say I'm fine… or he thinks he knows that, anyway. But if I tell myself I'm fine, then I am. Or… maybe I'm not right now, but I will be. I mean, what choice is there, right? Fall apart? I don't do that. I keep going like I always have. I've gotten this far, haven't I? And I'm fine. I don't need anyone. I can deal with this. I always have before, after all.

The way he was looking at me, though… That look on his face… that's the look of – what? – someone who cares, I guess… Not like I'd know. It kinda made me uncomfortable. I mean, what was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? Tell him that I'm not okay? Because I am. I am okay. If I tell myself I am, then I am, right? I've been through worse, it's not a big deal. It's sweet that he cares, it really is, but I'm better alone. It's safer that way.

Holder

Linden is so frustrating sometimes. It's so damn obvious that she's not okay, and yet she insists that she is. How could she be, after something like that? No one would expect her to be okay. I don't know who she thinks she's fooling… no, I do, actually. Somehow, she seems to be fooling everyone... everyone but me, that is. She's tough as nails and she's obviously worked hard to prove to the rest of the guys that she's not some needy chick – which makes sense, because how else could she get them to take her seriously at work? I guess what it comes down to is they don't know her, so it's not such a big surprise that they take her at her word. It's easier for them that way, one less thing to worry about.

Still, I don't know how they don't see it. It's so obvious to me, I don't know why she bothers to lie. Maybe it's just habit, I don't know… Maybe she doesn't want to admit to herself that she's not okay. She sure as hell works hard to push people away from her. But what she doesn't seem to realize is that it won't work, cause I'm just as stubborn as she is. Whether she likes it or not, I care what happens to her.

Just gotta keep my eye on her, I guess. Not that I don't do that anyway.

…

Holder was sitting on his couch, watching TV with Caroline, when his phone rang. He glanced at it on the coffee table, and was going to ignore it when he saw from the display that it was Linden. He frowned. Linden had said that she was fine when he'd finally left her place. Not that he believed her, of course. She'd seemed like she was doing better than she had been earlier that day, anyway. She'd been through hell in the past twenty-four hours. He wondered why she would be calling, especially since he'd taken the Seward file with him when he'd left. He reached for the phone tentatively and Caroline looked at him. He'd told her what was going on with Linden.

"It's Linden," he told her. She nodded.

"Go ahead, answer it. Make sure she's ok." She smiled at him as he reached for the phone, but there was something behind her smile. It didn't look like jealousy, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Hell, maybe it was nothing. He was no damn good at figuring out women.

He picked up the phone and stood up, walking into the bedroom so he didn't have to talk over the TV. "Yo, Linden," he answered. "What up? You okay?"

"Hi… uh, sorry to bug you Holder," came Linden's voice through the phone.

"You ain't buggin me, just watchin some TV. Somethin about the animals of the Amazon rainforest," Holder replied with a grin. "There'll still be there later… well, at least for a few weeks I guess, based on how we treat our natural resources."

At the other end of the phone, Linden rolled her eyes. From looking at him you'd never think Holder would be the type to be into Discovery Channel type shows, but Linden had learned that Holder liked "all that shit," as he'd so elegantly put it.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?" Holder now asked. She could hear the little boy grin through the phone.

"I… uh… just got a phone call from Ray Seward," Linden began, closing the dishwasher and surrendering to the fact that she was not going to finish the dishes right now. She'd been working on them when Ray Seward had called her and she had stopped to pace back and forth. "He begged me to help him, Holder. He said he could get me in to talk to Adrian. I don't know what his plan is for that, but… I don't know. I just feel like I have to do something. I can't just let him die."

Holder sighed. Even years later, Linden was consumed by the Seward case. Holder didn't know what he believed about it. He hadn't even been with the SPD back then, but even before he'd seen the case file, he'd heard enough about the case from Linden that he almost felt like he had been around back then. Knowing Linden as he did, it didn't surprise him in the least that she would work herself to the bone to try to find out the truth about this case, especially now that Seward was set to be executed and she had her doubts about his guilt.

"And I'd never expect you to do nothing, Linden. You always give everything you got and then some. What do you need? I'm gonna take another look at the Seward file right now, see if anything jumps out at me, okay? That make you feel any better?" He paused and pictured her staring hard into space, deep in thought, as she often did. "You got any new theories you wanna discuss?"

Linden sighed. "No, nothing new… I just… I'm missing something, I know it." She sighed again, and Holder shook his head. This woman really did like to torture herself.

"Right then, Linden, you do what you do best and let that brain of yours digest all the knowledge you got, 'n I'm gonna look at all this and then call ya back in an hour or so. I'd tell ya to get some sleep, but I got a feeling that's a lost cause."

"Haha," Linden replied dryly, but he could hear the smile behind it. Then she added, "Thanks Holder."

"You got it, Linden. Go do your thing. I'll talk to you a little later."

"Yup. Bye."

"Adios."

He walked back to the dining room table, where he'd left the Seward file. Caroline looked at him as he spread it out, watching him from the couch.

"Linden okay?" she asked.

"Yep, she's stressin about Ray Seward. Promised her I'd take a look at this and see if anything pops out at me. Sorry, babe," he replied without looking up.

"It's okay. I'm gonna go to bed anyway," she said, getting up from the couch. She walked over to where he was standing, the photos from the file already strewn around the table. "You're a good guy, Stephen. Don't stay up all night, okay?" she requested gently, kissing him goodnight.

He kissed her back, but he was obviously distracted. She let it go. If he'd been looking at her, he would have seen the same look in her eyes that he had noticed earlier that he hadn't been able to identify, that had been on her face when Linden had called. It still wasn't jealously, it was a different kind of knowing look.

He was already lost in thought as she disappeared down the hall. All he could think of was finding something that would help Linden get to the bottom of this mess.