By the time Michael and Huck had gotten Fitz into Olivia's house he had regained consciousness and Olivia while relieved was concerned he might go into shock, either emotional or physical. It was safe to say from what had happened and what she still had to explain to him both were equally possible. With a great deal of aid they got him into Olivia's bedroom and she quickly tucked in into bed. "Livvy?" He asked not really knowing what was going on and looking for her to explain. "I'm right here Bee. Could you guys give us a minute?" Olivia asked facing the guys as they stared Michael confused, Huck looked a little pleased despite the heaviness of the situation. Huck was first to answer. "Yeah, Liv. I'm going to put some guys on the door, but we're going to clear out. I'll call you in a bit to find out if you guys need anything, but its safe to assume you guys will be staying in this apartment for the long hall so think about what you want." His last piece of advice definitely had dual intentions. If she told Fitz the truth about herself, her life, her family, not only would there be a shift in their relationship, but he could lose his trust for her. On top of that he would gain knowledge that only about ten people knew all of the facts of. He would be brought into her father's world, her world. "Thanks," it was all she could get out at the moment to acknowledge that not only had she heard him, but also understood.
Fitz was somewhere between consciousness and wakefulness and she thought it was as good a time as any to further tend to his wound. Clean it and make sure she hadn't missed anything. "Okay I did it. I actually stitched it. He's okay." She was talking to herself, trying to calm down by reassuring herself she hadn't done more harm than good. "Of course you did, you're the great and formidable Olivia Pope." She hadn't realized he was awake and watching her. He was always watching her, whenever he could, however he could.
As excited as she was to have him awake, her stomach immediately dropped. She knew she would have to explain the last twelve hours to him and everything would change. The great and formidable Olivia Pope would soon become more accurate than he could have ever realized. Would he think everything about her had been a lie? She had been more honest with him than she ever had before. She told him her father was in Kansas running a company that her mother's family had started. That was it, the only lie. At on her most confident of days she could even rationalize that as a half-truth. Her father did run a "company" that her mother's family had started. The company of course was a cover for running drugs, gambling, and prostitution, but it was a real company.
Today was not going to be one of her more confidant days. The man she loved, but had yet to tell, at least while he was awake, had taken a bullet that was meant for her. The only thing that made her madder than her father's enemies tracking her down, was that he sent such a shitty shot. She thought about the nearness of the shooter and how all it took was Fitz's sudden movement to cause him to fail his mission, it made her rage. She would have happily taken the bullet instead of him. This was her fault, she had earned that bullet!
"Fitz? Bee? Are you? Wait take this!" She handed him two large white pills and some bottled water. "I hope this is a bit stronger than Tylenol." He was trying to lighten the situation, her anger intensified and she burst before she could stop herself. She got up from the bed. "Fitz seriously you were shot! We didn't take you to the hospital! You must know that this isn't normal. That's not okay! I literally sewed your arm closed and you're cracking jokes! You need to wrap your head around this quickly. Im toxic. Im a toxin. That's why this," she points between the two of them, "I fought it so hard. I knew I would ruin you that's what I do. I ruin the things I love…" She was rambling, her voice cracking and her lip trembling, but she had to get this out soon, before she got selfish again. He interrupted her reaching out for her, "Livvy," she kept rambling, he had no idea what she was saying but it didn't matter, she had admitted to him that she loved him, and not when she thought he was asleep either. "Olivia," he boomed and she stopped and stared at him. "Here's what you don't understand, I trust you. That it. Its that simple. When you're doing things that infuriate me or when you do things that don't make sense to me, I trust you. That's what it means. So you didn't take me to the hospital I assume you had a good reason aside from wanting me in your bed. Liv I know there are things you don't tell me. You run out of the room anytime your family calls. Remember how we met? I trusted you then, all I had to do was look at your eyes and I knew, this crazy, badass chick, is it, she's everything. So again whatever choices you make for me are right because that's what you do. You make the tough calls and they're usually the right one. Except for right now, I can see you trying to run. Well I'm not letting you go. You can sit here and explain things to me, or you can come over here and we can sleep. Those are your options, that's it."
She just looked at him, her mouth slightly open. "I'll explain everything to you, but know that those things you just said, you'll want to take back. I know you think you love me, but this could change that. It'll break you, it's already broken me Fitz. I'm broken. Irrevocably damaged. Before I tell you everything you should know that I love you and you make me feel less damaged. I know you probably just think I'm saying it because I got you shot and I'm scared, which I am. I love you Fitz, I'm in love with you. I wait for you. I watch you for." "I know Livvy. I love you." He puts his arms out for her to cuddle into his side, but instead she sits in front of him. The masochist inside needs to see the moment his trust leaves his eyes.
"Okay so here goes…"