In deep space, the XZIXXLE Mark Quadruple-X was making a desperate journey to deliver cookie buns to the far regions of the Nether Planet. What the hell is a Nether they'll never know, since their brain is made of green mush, causing advance rages of stupidity. The crewmen were made up of an alien race called the Dusies, advanced, yet stupid, traders from the Darchie Planet.
"Commander, we're picking up something huge on the radar," said the Dusie navigator. "Sir! It's approaching at high velocity!"
"Blast it to smithereens!" Exclaimed the commanding Dusie.
"Wait, sir," said another Dusie, "Look at the object!" The monitor on the ship lit up and revealed a bigger picture of the flying object.
"It's a happy face?"
"Lasers ready, commander," said the Dusie gunman.
"Wait! You can't shoot it down!"
"What? Why!?"
"I don't know why, but it makes me feel so happy. It's like all my bloodlust is gone, like I need to hug someone or else I'll EXPLODE!"
"Sir, that thing is going to collide with us at any moment! We must shoot it down!" A second later, the happy face on the screen became rainbow colored. "MUST. HUG. SOMEONE."
A second later the Dusie ship was no more. The huge happy face had collided with the ship causing it to explode into a million little pieces of metal and Dusie goo. The happy face was unscathed, then flickered until it reveal its true form, the Dibship.
"HAHAHAHA, such is the glory of Irken stealth technology, Dib-weasel!" exclaimed a joyful Zim.
"That was the fourth ship you crashed into, how come they never fired back?" asked Dib.
"I hit each ship with a beam that causes immense feelings of joy and happiness. It took years to develop, but the result was immense hugging. HUGGING THAT LEADS TO DOOM!"
"Yaaay! Exploding hugs!" Shouted Gir.
"I call it the Nick Beam!"
"Why is it called the Nick Beam?" asked Dib.
"Because, one, it's orange, and b, all the data that went into making this weapon came from an experiment I called Nick."
"Wait, isn't that the human you experimented on? Whatever happened to him?"
"What do you think is powering the laser?"
"What? You're using a human as an energy source! What makes you think I'd be okay with this?"
"The comforting knowledge of knowing I could blast you into deep space, filthy Dib. It comforts me like a fuzzy blanket upon which I drool on."
"You-YOU!-"
"We're here!" The Dibship was getting pulled into the atmosphere of a green planet. Slowly, the Dibship made contact with the surface of the planet. Zim, Dib, Gaz, Gir, and Skoodge made their way out of the Dibship. Dib and Gaz were shocked at the sight of the planet, it was just like Earth. There was grass, or at least some alien version of it, there were streets, though made of metal, not asphalt, there were houses that looked just like Earth houses. The only big differences were the inhabitants. They were humanoid beings, though rounder in their shape and green. Their skin was slightly transparent to reveal the blue goo in their body. They did wear fabric though, just like how humans wear clothes.
"Welcome to the planet of Fefa, inhabited by the gelatinous and nearly indestructible beings known as the Fefians. And...hmm, I believe I'm forgetting something here," Zim turn to the monitor on his wrist to look up information of the planet he was on.
"It's amazing, Gaz!" Dib said as he started examining the environment. "A planet that's practically the same as Earth."
"Ooo, a planet that's exactly the same as the one I hated before! The people here better not be the same too," Gaz said. She moved back a little only to bump into one of the squishy inhabitants. He was green and filled with blue goo like everyone else, he had two eyes and a mouth, he wore a green shirt and had no pants. It was probably the norm on the planet.
"Well hey therey! Say, the wonderfully weathery didn't called for invasionys today!" The Fefian spoke with an abnormally happy tone.
"Hey, Zim, did you hit this planet with your Nick Beam?"
"Of course not," Zim said, "The laser isn't big enough to affect a planet."
"Then this planet is going to make me barf."
"HA! Found the information. Planet Fefa, the Doomsday planet. Known for its indestructible inhabitants and daily Doom Weather."
"Doom Weather?" asked Dib.
"Today's forecast: Giant Slicy Ceiling Fan of DOOM. Ahem, I see, EVERYBODY DUCK!" A loud spinning noise filled the air as a giant spinning blade traveled across the land. The invaders quickly crouched to avoid having their heads decapitated by an oversize cooling device.
"Yeppy," said the Fefian, "The weather is right on the scheduloly!" The blade whirled over the groups' heads, the Fefian however took no measures to avoid the blade and was decapitated. The squishy head feel and bounced on the ground with a blood curdling scream as his blue liquid was streaming out of his body like a sprinkler that couldn't be turned off.
"Skoodge! Skoodge!" Zim yelled, "Protect me from the goo!" Zim held up Skoodge like a meat shield, but due to Skoodge's small stature he wasn't able to completely protect Zim.
"The Dibship!" Dib shouted, "We have to protect it somehow!"
"Huh, what?" said an awakened Dibship, "I was in sleep mode, you turd, what do you-AHHH! AHH! Metal Blade! Oh wait, it must be a dream! I'm going back to sleep."
"IT'S NOT A DREAM!"
"Oh, AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHHH!" Zim touched the buttons on the wrist device to deactivate the Dibship's paralysis. "I can fly! I CAN FLY! FREEEEEDOM! SO LONG BARFBAGS!" The Dibship zoomed towards the sky narrowly avoiding the blade of doom. Of course as soon as the danger was averted, Zim reactivated the paralysis, turning off the Dibship's thrusters. He came crashing down, causing a small crater. "My. Butt. In. Pain. Feels. Deformed. It's. Still. Better. Looking. Than. All. Of. You..."
"What the hell was that!" Gaz screamed.
"Obviously, a bigger-than-Dib's-head rotating fan blade designed to decapitate the inhabitants. I should take notes on this," Zim said. The headless body of the Fefian that was with them started moving towards Zim. The group looked at the walking corpse. Abruptly, the head of the Fefian popped out from his neck with a pop.
"Nothing like a helpingly helpful dose of decapititapititationy to get you going!" He said with freakish glee.
"Oh I see," Dib said, "You pushed your head into your body to avoid decapitation."
"Nope, my head is right here!" The Fefian help up his decapitated head in his hand, still with the same look it had while it was being decapitated. The Fefian then opened his mouth to eat it. "Mhmm, chewy delighty!"
Zim, Skoodge, and Gaz stared at him wide-eyed, Dib barfed off to the side, Gir just looked at the Fefian with a hunger filled glare mixed with usual stupidity.
"Hey, HEY!" The Dibship shouted, "I don't care how disgustedly gross that squishy nerd is; if you haven't noticed, my ass doesn't thrust anymore!"
Zim moved towards the Dibship to have a closer look. "Indeed," Zim started, "The thrusters aren't fit for flying. That means we're grounded here until they can be fixed."
"How quickly can you get them fixed?" Dib asked.
"That all depends on what supplies they have here to fix this ship."
"Oh my wonderful little daughtery handles all the mechinicy doodads in this area. I'm sure she has something for you sentient shippy there," Interjected the Fefian.
"Surrender your daughter to me now or face my wrath!" Zim held a laser that was pointed at him.
"Oh ho, woah there, buddy. My daughtery left the housey some time ago and I don't know when she'll be back, but hey, come inside and I'll fix yah a mealy. Think of it as payment for what our homely little planety has done to you."
"Hmm, I am interested in your species' indestructible nature, and commandeering a shelter isn't too bad of an idea while we're grounded."
"I'll follow you wherever you go, sir," Skoodge said.
"Yeah, I'm going to go back to the Dibship. That thing he did with his head earlier made me lose my appetite," Dib said.
"Meh, I don't turn down free food," Gaz said.
Gir, who had started poking the Fefian, just responded with "He feels like jello!"
"Well, five makes a good meal party just as well as six does. My name's Blarby by the way," said the Fefian. The troop, minus Dib, started walking towards the house for some Fefa cuisine.
"Well, Dibship, looks like it's just you and me, please don't make any more sophomoric jokes," Dib said. However, the silence that followed was too unnatural. The Dibship would always have some sort of stupid insult to make no matter what. Dib turned around to find the Dibship staring at a lone tree on top of a hill.
"I want to go there," he said with a trance-like tone.
"What, the hill?"
"It's not just a hill, it has a tree on it."
"What's so special about a tree?"
"Don't you know, dirtface, a lone tree on a hill is a perfect spot for being emo."
"What?"
"The solitude of a hill, the symbolic nature of the lone tree, I MUST GO THERE!" The Dibship used his still moveable frontal tentacles to drag himself towards the tree. Each slow drag was made with great effort.
"How you spawned from my personality I'll never know."
Meanwhile, Zim, Gaz, Skoodge, and Gir were sitting at a dining table inside Blarby's house. The house was as frilly as it gets, white laces everywhere, ducky moldings on the doors and walls, and painted-on hearts everywhere, EVERYWHERE.
"So, I'm guessing your wife likes to decorate," Gaz commented.
"Oh, wifey isn't around anymore," Blarby said.
"You're an indestructible species, how can one of you 'not be around'?" Zim asked.
"I forgot. Now, save the chatterry for later cause everyone says I make delicious grubby." Blarby pulled out a knife yet there was no food on the tables. Blarby only brought his arm forward and sliced it at the elbow. He let out a scream as the squishy limb fell. He used his other arm to pick up a spoon and scooped up some of the blue blood that fell and poured it over the arm like sauce. "Who wants the first slice?"
"I dooo! Meee!" Gir was waving his hand like a little kid getting a sugar high off sweet tarts. Everyone else just looked at him, aghast at the sight of the alien proposing cannibalism, on himself.
"Here you go little roboty."
"Yaaaay-NOM-OM-OM-OM!" Gir ate the arm like a filthy pig, much to the disgust of Zim.
"Who wants seconds?"
The Dibship was grunting its way up the hill with Dib by his side. Dib never understood why the Dibship was working so hard just to look angsty, emos were weird to him. After reaching the top, the Dibship was filled with a sense of satisfaction, before suddenly screaming with supreme disappointment.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed the Dibship.
"What is it?" asked Dib.
"Look over there!" Dib looked in the direction the Dibship pointed its tentacle/arm, he saw a Fefian that was seemingly female, its not like he had great knowledge of alien anatomy, standing by the tree with a mopy look on her face. "Can't you see it, Dib, the black hair carefully styled, the black shirt leading to black pants finished by a pair of combat boots, the spiked collar, the spiked bracelets, the pale green skin tone. That, Dib, is a stinkin' GOTH!"
"So what?"
"I. HATE. GOTHS. How can I angst with goths around?"
"Just sit there and do your haiku thing about the dark void of a body you have."
"You don't understand, Dib, I'm an emo. That thing is a goth. EMOS HATE GOTHS."
"Says who?"
"The internet."
"What?"
"I joined an emo forum back on earth. I used your name."
"WHAT!"
"SHUT UP!" The yell had come from the goth Fefian, she had taken noticed of the two invaders of her sanctuary. She walked over to see just who was bothering her, "A sentient ship and some sort of weird fleshy being. What do you want?"
"GO GET KILLED BY A SATANIC RITUAL YOU GOTH!" The Fefian didn't take kindly to the Dibship's words.
"You, leave, or else I'll make you."
"HA! If you haven't noticed, Skullmuncher, I'm MUCH bigger than you are." The Fefian didn't care for Dibship's statement, even if it was true. Still, she lifted her leg.
"Boy, your brain has to be eaten by worms if you think a kick can move mEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" When the Fefian kicked Dibship, the force was strong enough to send Dibship rolling down the hill.
"No way," Dib said, "How'd you do that?" The Fefian moved the top layer of her boot to reveal complex circuitry underneath.
"As for you," she started, "If you don't have a good reason to be here then I'll kick you down with your ship there." Dib did not want to be on the receiving end of any kick strong enough to move a ship, but he really had no reason to be there, so things were going to hurt quick if he didn't think of something.
"I was, a, hoping to examine the planet's natural vegetation?"
"That's a stupid reason." The Fefian raised her leg again.
"No wait! I-uh-my shipisbrokenandneedstobefixed -*gasp*- Iwashopingyou'dknowwheretogetrepairs."
"So, you're another space traveler looking for repairs on their ship."
"Please don't hurt me." Dib closed his eyes and moved his hands in a feeble attempt to protect himself.
"Fine, I'll do it."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"I didn't kick you." Dib opened his eyes and reexamined reality. He wasn't launched various altitudes into the air.
"Oh, wait what?"
"You're looking for a mechanic to fix your ship, I'm your mechanic. I'll fix that sentient space vehicle for you, but of course, there's a price."
"Um, okay?" Dib was a bit confused. Apparently he just contracted a mechanic to fix the Dibship's thrusters but it all happened so fast.
"Good, now let's go fetch that moronic ship of yours before more harm gets done to it. I'll negotiate the price later."
The two walked down the hill, following the direction of the rolling Dibship.
Zim, Gaz, and Skoodge still hadn't touched the limb set out in front of them. Gir on the other hand was eating them as soon as Blarby chopped another one off.
"Skoodge, taste test this...thing," Zim ordered.
"Yes, sir," Skoodge wouldn't get the chance to taste it however. The moment he touched the arm the blue liquids had caused his hand to start burning. Skoodge fell to the floor holding his hand in pain, he started rolling around the room screaming.
"Strangely," Blarby said, "Your little roboty there doesn't seem to be experiencing any painy." Indeed, Zim found this odd, he decided to touch the blood himself. Just like Skoodge, an immense pain rang out in his hand. It was like fire demons doing the jitterbug on his appendage. He fell alongside Skoodge and started screaming.
Out of curiosity, Gaz decided to touch the blood as well. To her surprise, there was no burning feeling. She picked up the arm and found that she wasn't affected like Zim and Skoodge were.
"It must be unique to your species or something, Zim," Gaz commented.
"AAHHHHH-THAT MUST BE IT-AAHHHHHHH!" Zim yelled. Gaz started taking bites out of the arm.
"This isn't half bad." Suddenly, the Dibship crashed through the house and rolling over Blarby.
"If I had a heart, it would bleed, with pain..." Gaz assessed the situation around her. Zim and Skoodge were rolling on the floor in agony, Blarby was crushed, the Dibship seemed to be unconscious, and Gir was happily making a mess while eating the arm. Gaz decided to just shrug and take more bites of her Fefian arm.
Moments later, when Zim and Skoodge had lost all feeling in their hand and Gir was slumped over in his chair with a look of joy after eating so many arms, Dib and the female Fefian arrived.
"Dib! Why is the Dibship in even worse condition than before?" Zim's usual hand gestures were hindered by his numb right hand, which was just flopping around instead of doing anything.
"What happened to your hand?" Dib asked.
"Silence! Do not ignore the question!"
"Well, he rolled down a hill, but don't worry, I got us a mechanic who can fix this." Dib pointed to the Fefian that was with him. Zim looked at her, she just scowled back.
"You forgot, Dib-worm, I, ZIM, built the new Dibship with my own two superior limbs. I can certainly handle this better than some silly, local tinkerer."
"Sure," The Fefian responded, "If you think you can repair the damaged Protean Axon Thrusters without any parts and that limp hand of yours then be my guest."
"Just let her, Zim," Dib said, "She has all the parts and could definitely fix the Dibship faster than you can since you have that numb hand right now. Also, I already sort of, made a deal with her."
"Since when can you make decisions? I'm the leader, ME, ZIM! But fine, if the little tinkerer thinks she can handle the repairs then go ahead. I'll just destroy Dib if you fail."
"Hey."
"I'll take that as a formal agreement," she said. Blarby started squeezing out from under the Dibship. Slowly, his green, squishy body would slither out like toothpaste. "I thought this house looked familiar."
Blarby had readjusted his body to the correct position. He saw the female Fefian and said, "Is it? It is!" He ran and hugged her.
"And here I was hoping you'd die for good."
"Oh, daughtery, I'm glad you're home again! I see you've seen the wonderfully beings here already. Beings, this is my daughtery, Kor!"