"This movie is so suspenseful!"
"Shloonk, move! Your body is blocking the monitor!" shouted Nar. He turned to his hated, Irken ally, "So, you think they're dead?"
"No," Tak responded, "We would've found their crashed ship and dead bodies, then I would've proceeded to blast their corpses to oblivion before burning the remains, then I'd burn their ashes and cook it into a pie, then I'd make you eat that pie and blast you into oblivion. But no, I wasn't able to make that pie. They're alive. We can assume how the bug lost transmission though."
"I'll remember to keep you out of the kitchen."
"Hey boss," Shlooktapooxis said, "The movie is coming back."
Gir was the first to wake up. The camera eye revealed the Dibship on its side. Everyone was unconscious. The Dibship's voice system was broken, repeating "so...much...pain" in the background. A bright light came from the partially open cockpit of the Dibship, several figures obscured by the light appeared. They were small, like Gir, and he only stared at them before saying "Monkey people," then everything went dark.
The darkness lasted for over an hour, Tak and the Resisty who were watching grew really bored. Finally, Gir was able to poke his head out of the sack that had caught him. He was being carried into some sort of structure. Everything was dimly lit, the captors were shrouded in darkness. He turned to reveal that the others were bagged as well. Kor and Gaz were already awake, just staying silent while waiting for the others to wait up.
"...hu-Huh what?" Zim woke up, "What the heck is going on!"
"Look at the situation, reach a conclusion, and your answer would be better than anything I come up with," Gaz said.
"I DON'T WANT TO BE MUTATED! AHHH! AHHH! AHHHHHH!"
"...maybe not,"
"Shut up, you. Gir, what's happened so far."
"The monkeys came, put us in sleeping bags, and now we're going to a slumber party! Yay!"
"I'd rather be mutated," Kor said.
"I hope there's cake, I want chocolate ice cream cake, or maybe mint vanilla, or rocky road squirrel..." Gir continued to list flavors while Zim tried to wake up Dib and Skoodge.
"Minions, wake up!" Zim said.
"Yes sir!" Skoodge woke up on command.
"Huh-huh, what?" Dib woke up as well.
"Skoodge, analysis," Zim ordered.
Skoodge turned his head from side to side, slowly examining every detail in his surroundings. The messy walls, the messy floor, the messy Dib. He stared at the creature that was carrying Zim. He stared and squinted his eyes, pondering in deep ponder. "We've been captured, sir!"
"What, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"We knew that already, idiot!" Gaz shouted.
"Then why wasn't I informed?"
"You have eyes don't you? What happened to your superior Irken vision, your superior Irken intellect?"
"My SUPERIOR Irken hearing detected levels of deceit and feigned admiration in those statements."
"So you do have a brain in there."
"Yes! And it's bigger and juicier than yours!"
"What the hell does juice have to do with intelligence?"
"EVERYTHING!"
"SHUT UP ALREADY! Let's just think of how we're going to get out of this," Dib said.
"Rationality has surfaced at last," said Kor.
Finally, the monkey creatures reached a dead end, they started to chant some gibberish before a door opened, shining light into the faces of the captured invaders. The light revealed their captors, like Gir had said, they were monkey-like, though also humanoid, however, the most striking feature were their robotic parts. They were all patched with cybernetic technology in some way.
"They look so weird," Kor said.
"Nevermind them, look at the walls!" Dib said. They looked at their surroundings as the room grew wider and circular. The walls were covered with several pictures, instantly recognizable to Dib. "They're Egyptian hieroglyphics."
"Don't be stupid Dib, what would an ancient Earth language be doing in space?" Gaz said.
"There has always been theories that past civilizations were visited by aliens, that's why their technology was so advanced."
"You would know that."
"Eh, higher, non-earthling, lifeforms have always been scouring the galaxy. Wouldn't be surprise if they found their way to that filthy rock," Zim said, "Sure would explain why you worm babies speak Irken."
"Wait, what?"
"UUUWWWWOOOOOOOOLLLLL!" The creature in the lead led out a sharp cry, raising his arms towards a stone tablet with several hieroglyphics, most noticeable one depicting a body being burned at an alter, it was quite large.
"I don't like that picture," Dib said.
"I get to be a marshmallow!" Gir said.
"NO! I refuse to be sweet, delicious goop!" Zim shouted.
"I never did try burning a Fefian," Kor said. Everyone looked at Kor and was surprised by her disregard for the situation they were in. "What? Fire was scarce on Fefa."
One by one, the captors' metallic hand raised into the air and flames shot out of their palms. Zim and the others were brought to the center of the room where an alter like the one in the glyph stood.
"Dammit, why are these bonds so tight!" Gaz said.
All of a sudden, one of the monkey-like beings emerged from the group and shouted. It raised another tablet for the others to see. The group was dropped and the creatures looked at the tablet, then at the group, then contemplated deeply while doing multiple chin strokes.
"Dib, can't you read hieroglyphics?" Gaz said.
"Why would I waste my time learning about ancient Egyptian script?" Dib said. Gaz just stared at him. "You're lucky that Egyptians have extraterrestrial connections."
Dib tried to focus on the tablet while the creatures were contemplating and chin stroking. "It's some sort of rite of succession ritual, starting with foretelling the coming of a new leader. I can't make out the middle though, too many weird characters. The last part shows the king but I can't make out specific features of the king that we can use to manipulate them, all it shows after that is a body with a giant block on its neck. It might be some weird giant block torture method."
Everyone else looked at Dib before looking at each other, they all thought the same thing.
"Dib, we think that picture is depicting the new leader," Gaz said.
"What? What kind person has a giant block on its ne-...I hate you all so much."
"I don't know what you're insinuating Dib-human, honestly what could-HE'S THE ONE YOU WANT! LOOK AT HIS BIG HEAD! HE'S THE ONE IN THE STONE! HIM! THE BIG HEADED ONE!" Zim shouted.
The creatures leaped with joy and released their captives, rejoicing at the fulfilled prophecy on their tablet. They released the bonds from the prisoners and started dancing around their new king.
"Oh gee, do I get a crown too?" Dib said sarcastically. One of the creatures placed a rock tiara on his head. "MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" The creatures quickly turned hostile, frothing at the mouth and got ready to pounce.
"DIB!" Gaz yelled.
"I-um-uh," Dib panicked, he couldn't decide what was worse, death by monkey aliens or stating an "untrue" fact about him. He let out a sigh,"I am your giant-headed king." The creatures returned to their festive mood.
"Good, now let's get out of here," Zim said. As they started walking the creatures blocked the exits, instead, they started pushing them down further into another corridor. They were quite strong and the others were unable to find an opening they could run through.
"Uh-As your leader, I command you to let us leave!" Dib commanded, but the creatures paid him no attention and just kept leading them down the path. Finally, they reached an extremely large chamber.
It was blue, similar to the native plant life, and there were many corridors, surrounding them and on different levels; presumably, one could leave from the corridor where light was coming through. This was obviously their home, or at least where they slept, as many cubic structures jetted from the wall, with windows revealing they were hollow. Similar creatures poked their heads out to see. There were many platforms all over the room, reaching a height that could not be seen. They created the walkways and areas where the creatures would socialize. However, most noticeable was a tall structure in the middle that the platforms formed around.
"Zim, do something to get us out of here," Gaz said.
"Don't worry, Gaz, I've had training on how to escape in situations like these," Zim said. He walked over to Dib and grabbed him.
"Now as you can see, this large headed worm is your leader. As your leader, he has an enormous amount of power. So powerful that you worship his presence. You love him and would not want any harm-NOBODY MOVE, FILTHY MONKEY SCUM!" Zim extended his index finger like a gun, pointing it at Dib's head, "ONE MORE STEP AND I'LL SHRINK HIS HEAD INTO A MANAGEABLE BITE-SIZED PIECE AND EAT IT WITH SAUCE! SO MUCH SAUCE THAT IT'LL BE DELICIOUS!"
"Zim," Dib said, "I doubt they'll actually buy this."
"Haha, Dib, you have uttered the words of the many worm baby television shows that commences the ironic twist of the idiotic plan actually working. Now this plan is full-AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The plan gloriously failed as the creatures pounced on Zim instead of cowering.
"This is such a great plan," Kor said sarcastically.
"You can do it master, I believes in yous!" Gir said.
"Hey, get off of him!" Gaz moved to rip away as many creatures from Zim as possible but there was too many and they were too fast. In seconds, Zim and Gaz were tied up. They were being carried to another altar-like object in the room, with bigger flames sprouting from their hands. "That is the last time I try to help you."
"Wait, stop!" Dib shouted, "Don't hurt them! Well, you already beat up Zim and I wouldn't mind you hurting him more, but definitely don't hurt Gaz!"
The creatures stopped and instead placed the two tied up beings down. They looked puzzled, wondering why their king would not want them to burn the heinous criminals. One of them came up with an idea and walked over to a wall and revealed a hidden lever. Zim wondered for a moment what they were going to do.
"Sir," Skoodge shouted as he tried to rush to Zim, the creatures just grabbed him and started tossing him around like a ball, "Look...be...low...you!"
Zim and Gaz looked down on the floor they were sitting on, they saw a faint line circling around them, and that line was deep. They knew what was coming and as the creature pulled the lever, they both said in unison, "Stupid, DDIIIIIIIIIIBBBB!"
The trapdoor closed as soon as they fell, preventing Skoodge or Dib from trying to save them.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GAZ!" Dib shouted in despair, "And Zim too, I guess. GAAAAAZZZZ!"
The creatures stared at the remaining party members.
"Uh, go King Dib," Kor said, looking down to make sure she wasn't standing on a trapdoor.
"Viva the hippo!" Gir shouted.
"We have to find them." Dib faced the monkey creatures and ordered, "My followers! LET US LEAVE NOW!" The creatures didn't ignore them this time, but they also didn't follow his order, instead, a creature walked to each corridor. They pushed a stone, causing the corridors to close and the room to become dim.
"It is a slumber party!" Gir said.
A single creature walked forward towards Dib and spoke.
"We can't let you leave so soon, Gateway."