Hey guys so now that I am on Christmas break, I expect that I will be able to update about once a week, if not more frequently than that. I won't keep you guys waiting any longer with my ramblings so please enjoy this next chapter and please review and let me know what you thought. I love hearing back from the people reading this.
"Remus! Wait up!"
Remus, who was walking with Sirius and Peter to watch the first Quidditch practice of the year, turned and waited for Lily to catch up with him. She pushed the hair out of her face and smiled kindly at him, "I feel like I haven't seen you since the Prefect meeting on the train. How are you Remus?"
"That's fine, Evans. Just ignore us." Sirius said dramatically.
Lily rolled her eyes but surprisingly said, "I'm sorry Sirius. How are you and Peter today?"
"Just peachy," Peter grumbled, rubbing his arm. His shoulder had been bothering ever since the full moon. He was convinced it was because someone had stepped on him.
She seemed surprised at his curt response. Instead, she just turned her attention back to Remus, "So?"
"As well as can be expected," was his vague response.
"Remus, I know that the first day back, wasn't exactly…easy for you." She said diplomatically, trying not to give away that she knew his secret.
Unfortunately for her, Sirius picked up on her subtle inflection and he tightly grabbed her arms, "What are you saying Evans?" He demanded harshly.
"Sirius!" Remus shouted at him. He grabbed his friend and pushed him away from his fellow prefect. "Stop!"
"Not until she explains what the hell she is implying!" Sirius growled, glaring daggers at Lily.
Immediately, she knew she needed to start backtracking, "Remus wasn't feeling well on the train here and then he missed the first day of class. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he was sick."
Sirius, though still tense, nodded once. "Of course." With that, he left, motioning to Peter for him to follow. With a dark look, Peter trailed after Sirius.
"I'm sorry about him," Remus apologized quickly. "Please, I know you and him haven't always got along well but he really just overreacts at times. I'll be sure to speak to him about that later. I promise."
She saw the regret and fear on his face that she was going to report his friend or dig more so she decided to put him out of his misery, "Remus, I know."
Misunderstanding what she meant, the tension visibly left his body, "Thanks for being so understanding. You're a saint for putting up with us."
"No, Remus, I don't think you understand. I know about…Moony."
The color instantly drained from his face. He stumbled back from her in horror and alarm. "W-w-what?" He stuttered.
She reached out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder but he reeled back from her like she would burn him. Instead she leaned forward, and after making sure no one else was in the hallway, she whispered, "I know you're a werewolf."
"Who told you?" He demanded, his hands shaking. Someone had to tell her. There were only eight people who knew; his friends and Snape. Snape was sworn to secrecy by Dumbledore but he was good friends with Lily when he found out. But Elyse and Ursula lived together with Lily. Had one of them betrayed his trust and told her?
Guessing where his thoughts had gone, she immediately began to explain, "I figured it out myself. When I confronted Ursula about it, she threatened me with bodily harm if I ever spoke to another person about it."
"How long have you known?" He demanded.
She shrugged, "I started suspecting second year. I think it was third year when I knew for sure."
"And you never bothered to let me know that you know?" He griped sarcastically. "Thought I would go wolf boy on you?"
Lily looked taken aback, "Remus, no—"
"You've seen what I've done! You must know what I almost did to Snape! What I did to Ursula and James! I almost killed my best friends!" He shouted, forgetting that they were in a public space.
She shook her head, "I know for a fact that neither of them blames you for what happened. They don't even need to forgive you because in their minds, there was nothing to forgive."
He snorted and shook his head before he took a step closer to Lily, towering over her smaller frame. "Look at me Lily. Do you know what you are looking at? You're looking at a monster."
"Remus, you are the farthest thing from a monster." Her green eyes were filled with pity, begging him to believe her. "You are a friend, a brother in all but blood to your friends, a prefect, an idol to the younger students, someone to admire, you're intelligent, you have a heart of gold, and one of the best men I've ever known. You are the farthest thing from a monster."
She didn't know. She never saw him when he was Moony. She didn't know what he was capable of when under the influence of the moon. When the inner beast came out, he was a monster. He had killed so many animals, hurt so many people, and destroyed so many things. He wasn't any of those things she said. He wasn't worth her words.
"I'm sorry Lily but I'm going to have to disagree with you. And now I have to go watch James run the team to the ground; I promised I would be there."
Before she could try to say anymore lies to him, he spun around and quickly hurried out of the castle and towards the Quidditch Pitch. The sun was still reasonably high in the sky even though it was getting late. It took him longer than usual to climb the stairs to their usual watching spot since his body was still recovering from the moon.
"Hey Moony, seems you didn't fall off the face of the Earth." Sirius sarcastically said as he lounged over three rows of benches, his arms resting behind him making it so that his body was practically straight except for the bend of his one leg. Due to the heat, which was borderline unbearable due to the humidity (a sure sign that it was going to rain tomorrow), they had all opted out of their school robes and were wearing muggle clothing. Wearing a simple grey shirt that Remus was fairly sure was James's from last year, and black cargo shorts, Sirius looked like he was a black and white picture. His black hair elegantly hung into his face, moving in the hot breeze. His grey eyes weren't looking at Remus as he spoke. Instead, they were critically watching the players zoom around on their brooms.
"Sorry about that. Lily wanted to speak to me."
"Figured. You might not want to tell Prongs. He'll kill you for spending alone time with his Lily-Love."
Remus shrugged, "He wouldn't."
"James likes to do what he wants," Peter noted. "He doesn't care about anything else."
Remus found that comment odd and was about to respond to that when suddenly Sirius shot up and shouted something at RJ and Chris, the two beaters, about watching for the left swing when a bludger clipped Ursula's shoulder.
"Damn idiots."
"Maybe if you didn't get kicked off the team for being an idiot, there wouldn't be a problem," Peter pointed out.
Sirius turned to glare at Peter who surprisingly didn't turn away like he usually did. "Who pissed in your tea this morning?" Sirius griped.
"Shut up Sirius. Just watch like James told us to."
"Peter, really, is everything okay?" Remus questioned, feeling underlying tension coming from Peter.
Peter took a deep breath and seemed a bit more relaxed, "Sorry. It's been a rough day."
"What happened?" Remus questioned.
Sirius snorted, "He probably ran out of cheese or something."
Remus hit the back of Sirius's head, "Stop being an arse Padfoot. Peter, we're your friends. You can tell us."
Peter seemed to debate if he could tell Remus before he nodded, "In Defense today, I wasn't able to make a patronus. I felt like an idiot but I couldn't do it."
Sirius started snickering until Remus's stern glare silenced him. "Don't worry about it, Wormy. I still have problems making one. We can work on it together if you want?"
"That'll be good," Peter agreed.
"Come on guys, are we going to make study dates or actually watch this?" Sirius complained.
"Who pissed in your tea this morning?"
"Arse," he grumbled in response but didn't continue to debate, instead they all went back to watching the practice.
Remus was never unimpressed when he watched practices. While he didn't always understand what was going on or fully appreciate the complexity of their maneuvers, James still liked to hear his feedback. Apparently, it was a good to see it from the eye of the average fan in the stands. Seeing Elyse fly at incredible speeds towards the ground only to pull up at the last second consistently caused him to have a heart attack. Seeing James, Moira, and Ursula weave effortlessly around blunders, the beaters, the keeper, and other obstacles that James would enchant to act as the opposing team, while they also threw the bludger seamlessly between them never failed to take his breath away. Remus would never understand how RJ and Chris seemed to have a sixth sense to tell where the bludger was without looking. Sometimes they would pulled their arm back and hit the bludger backwards right towards their teammate to take a more accurate shot towards their "opponent". Then there was Ben, somehow being everywhere in front of the three hoops. Sometimes he was literally jumping up from his broom or flying upside down to catch the quaffle. It was uncanny how he always knew which hoop the quaffle was going to be shot towards.
Together, they created a machine that was unstoppable. They flew flawlessly together, as though each other knew what the other was going to do. Though they communicated vocally, they had such chemistry that they knew what someone else was going to do before they did.
A thrill whistle cut through their shouts of communication, causing those in the stands to jump.
"Who the hell gave James a whistle?" Peter yelped, rubbing his ears as he tried to stop the ringing.
"Mum got it for him this summer. Some sort of good lucky charm." Sirius explained.
"Mum?" Peter questioned.
Sirius's expression hardened, "Yes Mum. She's more my mother than Walburga ever was."
The team huddled on the ground, most of them panting and exhausted prematurely from the heat. As James explained what they were going to do next, many of them shed their shirts, the girls included. Now standing in their sports bras, Remus had the urge to look away. He wasn't a prude but he still had a sense of decency. All the girls had significant others; Ursula was dating Ben, Elyse had Pat, and Moira had Mary (he had found out about them after catching them after hours towards the end of last year).
Soon, they were all walking off the pitch and reappeared near where the three boys were sitting. The team put their discarded shirts and water bottle on the stands before they started running up the stairs. James walked over to his friends.
"So what d'ya think?" James questioned, taking a large drink of water.
"Not bad. Beaters could use some work," Sirius commented, "Their response time isn't half bad but their aim can use a bit of work."
James nodded in agreement, "RJ worked a fair bit over the summer on response but couldn't really work on aim that much without being caught. And I'm glad that Chris decided to show up today."
"Was he seriously considering not coming back?" Peter questioned.
James nodded, "His older brother just died less than a month ago. He wasn't exactly keen on getting back to the team that was reason his brother was killed."
He continued to talk to Sirius but all Remus did was stare. It had been almost a year since the…incident…and Remus hadn't seen the result of that. Across James's chest was four claw marks stretched across almost the entire upper half of his torso, the top line starting just below his left shoulder and the bottom line ending a few inches right of his navel. They were pale and angry looking, contrasting with his tan skin, making them stand out more than they had in the past.
As he was talking to Sirius, he brought his foot up and stretched his right leg, his shorts riding up slightly to reveal the jagged scar from the time Remus almost caused James to lose his leg. Shame and humiliation washed over Remus. He had done that to James.
He looked away but that was even worse.
Ursula was standing not that far away with her back to him. Ben was facing him, rubbing his shoulder absent mindedly. Ursula's hands reached up as she massaged the area while checking for an injury. Ben grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips to kiss the back of it before holding to his chest. From the soft smile on his face, Remus was sure he was saying something cheesy and romantic that he would never dare to say in front of Sirius or James.
But that wasn't what he noticed about the pair. All he saw was the clear scar of Moony's teeth on Ursula's back. Since he lived in the same room as James, he saw James's injury occasionally but this was the first time that he had seen Ursula's injuries from that night. There were other smaller scars on her shoulders and back, the worst ones were on her left side, four short scars where his claws would have hit her animagus form to throw her into the wall that gave her a concussion that caused her to lose some of her memory.
Self-hatred and worthlessness crashed over him. He hadn't seen the damage that he had done to her. While he didn't curse her, he had bitten her; she was the first person that in any other context he would have killed and/or destroyed her life by cursing her.
He hadn't realized that he was staring long enough for Ben to notice. Ben's eyes met his and Remus flushed, knowing how it must have looked; him staring at Ben's girlfriend when she was in shorts and a bra. But there was no accusation or possessiveness in Ben's expression. Simply concern, like he knew what Remus was thinking.
Ben placed his hand on Ursula's shoulder and said something to her, his eyes flickering up to Remus. Ursula nodded once and walked away from Ben towards where the team left their things. She went straight for the pile of sweat drenched shirts and grabbed hers before throwing it on again before starting run up and down the stairs again.
Ben walked over to James, "Oi, Captain, everyone's finished the reps. Are laps or abs next today?"
James turned his attention to Ben. "Either one. What does Muse think?"
"She thinks we should split the usual number laps then abs then finish up with the laps."
James nodded once in affirmation, "I agree. Tell her that if she does do that, I want ten more sprints up the stairs during abs."
"Got it."
It was odd watching them, Remus decided. The authority James's exuded was so different than he usually acted around his friends. He was the goof, the prankster who never respected authority. Yet here he was, being the authority figure. And it was odd to see Ben in such a position as well. Being the minister's son, Ben often times carried himself with poise and acted very professionally around other authority figures. But Remus had never seen him in a position where that authority figure was James. To make it odder, Ursula, his girlfriend, was technically his superior on the team as well since she was the co-captain.
"Got it." With that, Ben left to go tell Ursula their new orders. He placed his hand on Remus's shoulder for just a second as he walked past, either in mutual understanding (Ben still carried guilt from the day of the incident) or an attempt to show that no one blamed him. Either way, it didn't make much of a difference. But that still reminded him of something.
"Oh, James," he said, knowing that his friends needed to know what he had recently found out. "Lily knows."
At the mention of Lily, Remus immediately had all of James's attention. "Lily knows what?"
Remus took a deep breath, "She knows about my, uh, 'furry little problem' as you so delicately put it." He said, using air quotes when he used James's phrase for his condition.
James's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, "What? When? Do you need one of us to obliviate her memory?"
Now it was Remus's turn for his eyes to bulge out of his head, "What?! You would do that to Lily to protect my secret?"
James nodded seriously, "Damn straight."
"No, it's fine that she knows. She's apparently known for years."
"Does she know about our animagus forms?" Peter questioned.
Remus shook his head, "She didn't say anything about that. I would guess that she doesn't."
"And let's keep it that way," Sirius said. "We don't need another prefect finding out we're breaking the law."
"We'll just have to be careful." James reasoned. "Now I have to get back to practice. See you back in the dorm."
It was later that night. The sun had set and the waning moon was high in the sky. The boys were back in their dorms, all fast asleep. Peter and James were both snoring and Sirius was muttering something about the bunny and how he had to chase the bunny until he got it. Ben was hugging a pillow to his chest, tugging it closer to him as he rolled over.
They all slept peacefully. That is, they all did except for Remus.
He snarled in joy, finally released for his night of freedom. The smell of blood hit his nose and he turned to see the human standing in the doorway. He grinned wolfishly. Dinner time.
But then suddenly his snack was gone. Fury raced through him and he bolted after his food. He wanted blood. He wanted to rip the flesh from the bones of the human. He wanted to hear the screams of pain. He wanted it all. He bound out of his room and felt a rush of exhilaration. There were now two humans. While the first one was an easy kill, the second one looked healthier and fit. That prey would give a great chase. Perhaps he would play with the second one.
He was gaining on the prey and just about to strike down the stronger one when he was suddenly attacked by a ball of black, white, and grey fur. He tumbled back, making sure to take the dog with him. He snarled at the dog. It allowed the preys to get farther ahead. He could easily kill the dog. It would only be mildly entertaining.
Lunging forward, he attacked the dog. It enraged him when the dog held its own against him, allowing the prey to get the end of the hallway. His vision was filled with red, blood staining his vision and paws when he finally overpowered the meager creature. With a final swipe, he sent the dog flying down the hall in the opposite direction.
He ran forward towards his escaping prey. They were giving him a challenge that he hadn't had in years. The thrill of the chase rushed through his veins.
The prey stood at the end of the tunnel. The stronger one shoved the weak on towards the exit, shouting something at him. The boy scrambled towards the exit, frantically climbing out. The stronger one turned to face him for the first time. He lifted his paw and threw the weak human to the side. He would deal with him later. The weak one had already escaped and he was tempted to go after him. He wanted blood.
Then there was a cough.
He turned to look at the now injured prey. Blood poured from his chest, making him all that more enticing. It would make a great appetizer before he killed the dog. He looked at the prey, which was struggling to breathe. He looked at his eyes and he realized that his human knew this prey. They were close enough that their relationship bled through into his knowledge. That wouldn't do. He snarled ferociously. He had to kill his prey soon. He had already wasted so much time.
He stalked towards him, deciding how to kill. He could run his claws through his stomach, the pleasant shredding creating a fantastic blood pool and elongating the pain and therefore the screams. He could slowly gnaw at his limbs to keep it alive until he decided to end it. Or…
Or he could rip its throat out with his teeth. He could practically imagine the blood dripping down his jaw, the metallic smell embedded in his fur. He could imagine the prey's dying gurgling noises. That was better than the screams.
Deciding to take that route, he stalked towards the pitiful human and was just about to kill it when he was suddenly thrown to the side. He howled as he felt teeth biting into his shoulder. He looked and saw the blasted little pup hanging onto his shoulder for dear life. He shook it off and roared in fury at the pest that just refused him his kill. He swiped one of his paws at it but the thing jumped. Perfect. Knowing that it would be the end of the creature, he locked his powerful jaw against the weak prey. The cry of pain was music to his ears. He could have let it go at that moment but it had annoyed him. So he shook his head side to side before releasing the beast, sending it crashing against the wall with lethal force.
The little pup lay on the ground, dead. He snickered to himself, proud of his kill. He would enjoy feasting upon the carcass as soon as he finished with the other prey.
That is, that was his plan but then the impossible happened.
The dog moved its tail.
Fury rushed through his veins. He would tear that paltry canine limb from limb, devour the remains, and drink the blood.
Then the other prey shouted something at him. He had underestimated the dog before. He wouldn't make the same mistake with the human. He charged at the human. However, the impossible then happened. The human transformed from a small human to a large stag. Infuriated at the trickery, he charged to kill the human/stag once and for all.
The antlers kept him back, painfully breaking his own bones as he fought against them, reaching past them with his paws to land as many injuries against the enormous creature. He reveled in the new challenge of killing a creature nearly twice his side that equaled his strength. His paws were slick with blood, splattering it against the walls, the stag, and himself. The smell of the sweet, metallic blood was hypnotic, making him crave more.
The stag continued to push him back towards the original room he woke up in. The suddenly he was airborne. He felt a red hot pain in his head as it connected—
Remus shot up with a gasp. He has had some dreams from when he was Moony before but none had been so vivid and he had never heard the thoughts of the beast that existed inside of him. In the dark, he frantically climbed out of bed and checked James's bed.
He nearly collapsed in relief when he saw James snoring. His blanket was only half on him, revealing his bare chest. Just like earlier that day, Remus was able to see first had the damage he inflicted on his friend; the wound that almost killed him. Then there was the cut on his leg, an injury that still bothered him to this day and almost cost him his ability to walk. He saw the familiar piece of paper that he had helped create and snatched it from James's night stand. After quickly opening it, he found Ursula's name, safe and alive, in the girls' half of the tower.
Suddenly feeling suffocated and needing to get away, he kept the map as he quickly threw on his trainers and night robe. He also grabbed his prefect badge in case he got caught. With that, he set out.
He wandered through the tower, silently running through the nightmare in his head again. The monster inside him had recognized James as a friend. He fully knew what he was doing when he tried to kill James and Ursula. He viewed them as it and prey. He felt like throwing up when he recalled the sick feeling of euphoria when he felt the blood dripping from his hands and the glorious victory when he snapped his jaws around Ursula's back.
What sort of person was he that continued to allow his friends (if he had the right to call them that) to do that every month. The guilt he felt every time he became conscious against after every moon to see the damage he inflicted on the people he cared most about. He recalled how none of them showed fear of him when he told them of his condition back in second year. How they didn't seem bothered that he wanted to murder then and feel their blood drip from his mouth once a month. What was wrong with them?
In frustration, he kicked a passing door, knowing that he would never get the answer he wanted. He knew he was too dangerous for them to be around yet they seemed perfectly alright with it. What did he have to do to show them that? Kill one of them?
The door he kicked swung open and a flash of something reflective caught his attention back from his torturous thoughts. A large, ornate mirror stood surrounded by dust, looking as though no one had clean it in years, if not decades. Venturing closer, he saw the words etched on the top:
He nodded to himself, muttering, "The Mirror or Erised."
Remus knew of the curse of the Mirror. It showed you your deepest and darkest desires, the thing you wanted most the world. Great and powerful witches and wizards have wasted away in front of their reflection, unable to pull themselves away. Taking a deep breath, he decided it would be worth it to see what he desired most, even if just for a moment.
He stood fully in the mirror's view. He looked normal for the most part. In the dim light, he couldn't see anything significantly different. It wasn't until he realized that the dim light in the room came from the full moon in the background of his reflection did he see the change.
His scars were gone. Experimentally he lifted the bottom of his shirt and didn't see the usual bite mark that forced him to always wear a shirt, even to the beach during the summer.
He wasn't a monster anymore.
The stress of his curse was lifted from his eyes. He no longer looked like he was years older than his peers. Instead, he looked like a normal sixteen year old: no stress, no fear of himself, not debilitating self-loathing. For just a moment, in that mirror, he was normal. And it was glorious.
But it all came crashing down as his fingers traced the actual scar on his stomach, reminding him that there was no cure for this curse; that he would be a murderous monster the rest of his life who didn't deserve his friends.
He should have left. He should have turned around at that very moment and gone back to the dorm and forgotten about what he saw.
Instead, he took off his shirt, sat down in front of the mirror, and allowed himself one night to imagine he was a normal human being.
The next day, announcement went up in the Gryffindor Common Room that apparition lessons would be starting up in one week. Elyse couldn't wait to learn how to apparate.
"Is it goin ter hurt?" She questioned as she sat on the floor of the boys' floor later that weekend as she worked on her Transfiguration homework while also questioning her friends on apparition.
"Probably. But you're not going to go anywhere today. The first lesson everyone just falls on their arses." Sirius said as he flipped through his DADA book.
"Maybe, maybe not. It's not that hard once you pick it up," Ben responded. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, Ursula nestled into his side.
James rolled his eyes, "how would you know, King?"
"My dad's the Minister for Magic. He bent a few rules and taught me how to apparate last summer in case there was a problem and I had to get out fast. In his eyes, laws be damned, he wanted me to be alive and in a little bit of trouble for underage apparating instead of dead in a coffin."
"If you can already apparate, why are you taking the class?" Remus questioned.
Ben shrugged, "Apparently you have to take the class to take the test to get your license."
"That's stupid." Elyse said.
"It is what it is." Ben said as he looked around the room. "Anyone know where Peter disappeared to?"
"Eh, probably found some cheese somewhere. He'll meet us that the Great Hall probably," Sirius said sarcastically.
Ursula grabbed one of Ben's pillows and threw it at Sirius with a Chaser's accuracy and power, causing her twin to yelp painfully.
Elyse ignored them and looked at Peter's bed, a bad feeling settling in her stomach. She knew that Peter had been going missing often, more often than what was normal. There was something amiss but for the life of her, Elyse couldn't focus her visions to find out where he was going or what he was doing.
"I kind go look fer him," Elyse offered. "I'm not getting any work done anyway."
"Want one of us to go with you?" James questioned. Sirius started to close his book but Elyse shook her head.
"I want ter go on a walk too. I'll just be a little bit."
James nodded and Remus pulled the Marauder's Map out of the pocket of his robe. "At least take this."
She took the offered piece of paper and after double checking that she had her wand, she was off searching for Peter. Once out of the Common Room, she tapped the map and searched for Peter's name. He was in an abandoned hallway…surrounded by four Slytherins. Completely forgetting that she should probably get reinforcements, Elyse took off at a sprint to go help her friend. She flew up the stairs, taking them two at time, and came to a sliding stop around the corner in the old Transfiguration hallway. She pulled out her wand and held it in front of her, ready to defend herself and Peter if need be.
There was no one in the hallway but there was one door that was open. She cautiously walked forward and spun around the corner, walking into the room, ready to hex any threat. The room was completely empty and it looked like there had only one person there in the past few years, quite recently took. The foot prints in the dust were clear and distinct. She grabbed the map to check for any one that might be hiding and found that she truly was all alone.
She should have left. She knew that being alone in the castle was not wise. She also knew that she should look for Peter. But she was curious about the one object in the room that didn't seem to belong: a large, intricate mirror. The footsteps led right in front of it and there was a large area that was dust free, like someone had spent a long time in that one spot.
Curiosity that could have got her placed in Ravenclaw compelled her to look into the mirror. There was weird gibberish written across the top but that wasn't what caught her attention. It was the large group of people that surrounded her. She gasped and turned, checking to make sure no one magically appeared next to her. No, she was still alone in the room.
The mirror was crowded with strangers with familiar faces. They were all well into their golden years. If Elyse knew anything about advanced Wizarding ages from the Potters was that they lived at least fifty to sixty years longer if they lived a healthy life. It appeared that all ten faces in the mirror were at least at a hundred, if not more.
They looked so familiar, like she should know who they were. It wasn't until one of the men ran his hand through his dark silver hair, messing it up even more that it was. She gasped when James smirked and winked at her, nodding as he realized that she figured out who they all were. He grabbed the waist of the woman next to him kissing her cheek once before pulling her closer and kissing her on the lips. The woman pulled away with a laugh, her unmistakable green eyes, slightly more hooded and surrounded by many wrinkles, stared kindly back at her.
Next to James, there was Sirius. His face was still somehow handsome even though he had more wrinkles than Dumbledore. His hair was silver, making him look distinguished through his silver eyes still twinkled with mischief. He lazily placed his hands in pockets and nodded his head in acknowledgement.
Standing on Sirius's left was a woman who still had remnants of black in her mostly silver hair. Her pale grey eyes sparkled joyously behind her rectangular glasses. Ursula smiled as a man with pure white hair wrapped his arms around her. Ben was unmistakable, his facial expression still the same.
Remus stood next to Ben. His back was hunched and he looked exhausted, he still appeared happy. There was a gold wedding hand on his left hand, his right one clasped in the hand of an unfamiliar woman who though he obvious age had bubblegum pink hair and…a pig's snout? Before Elyse could question it, her nose was back to normal but this time she had a beak.
Next to her, a rounder, shorter man stood. Peter's blonde hair was now pure white. Well, what was left of his hair.
Behind them, stood about a dozen of young adults, with red and black hair (a few of them had ridiculous colors such as blue and orange) that was starting to grey. There were groups that resembled others. Some of the males had unruly black hair. Some had elegant red curls. Some had grey eyes, some brown, some green. There were a few with blue. Some of them had spouses and near them, children ran around, playing tag and other childhood games.
They all looked so happy and carefree. Elyse's eyes teared up as she saw the generations she knew would never get born, the happiness her friends would never know, the birthdays they would never reach.
"I'm sorry," she apologized to them.
James reached out and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, as if he was comforting her. She could almost swear that she could feel the pressure on her shoulders. She reached up and placed her hand on top of his only for her hand to pass right through his.
She tore her gaze away from the Mirror. It wasn't healthy for her to continue to look at the image the mirror was showing her. She knew what was coming, that this picture would never be reality. They were all destined to die so young…
The worst was the couple in the middle. She immediately recognized the woman. She looked so much like her grandmum on her mother's side. But more so, she looked like herself. Her hair had gone white but it was still pulled back into the same bun it was always pulled into when her hair was long. Standing next to her was the man who held her heart, none other than Pat. It was impossible to not recognize him especially since he was staring at her with such love in his eyes. He reached for her hand, their matching wedding bands glittering in the light.
It was then that the tears started flowing down her cheeks. She knew the future; she knew what was in store for all the people in this reflection. It hurt because while it was something she wished more than anything for, she knew that it was impossible.
And that fact hurt the most.
With that, she shoved herself away from the mirror, frantically rubbing her eyes. To wipe away the tears or to try to erase the images out of eyes, she didn't know.
Suddenly filled with a rush of defiance, she straightened up and glared at the mirror, pointing her wand threateningly at it, "I don't care woot yeh've shown me. I don't care if yeh think that's impossible. I'm gonna make it happen o' I'll die tryin'." She swore before she quickly left the room, ready to forget the experience with the magical mirror entirely.
The clock tower bell rang loudly, cutting through the cool morning air. There were a few raindrops falling from the sky, the air moist and the sky grey as the eyes currently looking up into the sky. Sirius stood at the window, for once calm and not running around like he usually was. The darkness seemed to permeate everything around him, like the darkness that had been settling in his mind the last three weeks since he had returned to school.
Classes had already been sucking all his time away from pranks. His teachers didn't allow for him to slack off this year and to be honest, for the first time, he was truly learning things he deemed useful. Then with having the extra apparition class, which was horrifically frustrating, he felt like he never had any time by himself or with his friends when the subject didn't have something dealing with school.
This Saturday morning, he had woken up to find James and Ben missing from their beds. Quidditch practice had stolen their company from him. He knew that Elyse and Ursula too were missing. Remus was swamped with homework and had the late Prefect rounds last night so Sirius, in a moment of rare consideration, left his friend to sleep in. Peter too was missing but Sirius didn't think much of it. Besides being an idiot, Peter was no source of entertainment.
So that left him alone on this Saturday morning with nothing to do except to wander the castle. He wanted something to do; anything would suffice. He had nicked the map from James's trunk and was currently watching out for any professors that might impede his quest for something fun. He thought for sure that he would never find anything when suddenly a glimmer of reflected light caught his attention.
"What's this?" He murmured to himself as he stepped into the abandoned classroom. It looked as though it hadn't been used in decades with spider webs hanging from everything and about three inches of dust on every surface except for one place.
A giant mirror, the one that caught Sirius's attention, stood in the corner. He stuffed the map into his pocket and took a few steps towards the mirror. There was a great deal of hesitancy in his footsteps. He could feel the magic pulsating from the mirror, the great power of the mirror making him uncomfortable.
There were two different sets of footsteps leading up to the mirror, one much larger than the dainty looking ones. Both were fairly recent and directly in front of the mirror, there was a full circle that was clear of dust as if someone had sat down in front of it.
The Mirror of Erised, at least, that's what he assumed it was called. He had read about the mirror and what it does. The thought terrified him. He thought of all the things he could want and wish for and he couldn't think of one thing that he desired for more than anything else in the world.
"Mr. Black, what are you doing in here?" McGonagall's clipped voice shocked him out of his thoughts. He realized he was just about to step into the mirror's reflection.
He turned around to face her. "I wanted to find something to do."
"So you chose you find an abandoned Transfiguration classroom? I must admit I thought you would be sneaking into the Slytherin Common room and turning the furniture purple or going to the kitchens to turn everything into sugar."
"Don't give prankster ideas, Minnie." Sirius muttered, as he turned around to look at the mirror's frame.
McGonagall chose to ignore him, "I certainly did not imagine you would be standing in front of a mirror, refusing to look into it."
Sirius was silent a moment, regarding the mirror. "You know what this mirror does, Minnie. It shows what someone most desires."
"I am aware of the mirror's abilities." McGonagall nodded, walking further into the room. "I am not aware; however, what keeps you staring the mirror for at least five minutes without looking into it."
"I don't need to look into the mirror to know what I most desire. I know what I want in life. I want my sister to be happy, marry Ben, and have their own little Quidditch team of children. I want both of us to be born as Potters so we could have had a happy childhood. I want Voldie dead. I want my little brother in Gryffindor where I can watch out for him. I want my friends to live through this war. But I won't see any of that."
"What would you see?" McGonagall asked gently.
Sirius stepped into sight of the mirror for just a second and it was enough. He stood there, enraptured by what he saw. He reached out a hand, his fingertips just barely brushing against the cool, impossibly smooth surface. "It doesn't matter. It can never happen."
"You know, one night when I was a student, I had a particularly horrific nightmare. My roommates found me to be inconsolable," McGonagall admitted. Sirius turned to be in shock that his traditionally distant and blunt Head of House was being so personable. "They found the current Head of House who was Professor Dumbledore at the time. He gave me some advice to calm me down. He said that it did no good to dwell on dreams. In this case, however, I find myself in disagreement with Professor Dumbledore. It dreams that get us up in the morning and fight though the day. It is the light at the end of the tunnel. So I will say to you, no matter how impossible or unbelievable you think your dream is, hold onto that."
"I don't think that this dream is something worth chasing, Minnie."
She raised her eyebrow, "Considering you see it in the Mirror, I highly doubt that."
"I would ruin her, Minnie. I know I would. She deserves someone better than me. I already know I don't deserve her friendship."
Understanding washed over McGonagall's face. "I understand."
Sirius tore his focus away from the Mirror. "Can I ask you a personal question?" When she nodded, he continued, "Have you ever cared for someone so much that you sacrificed your happiness for theirs?"
"I have."
"Do you regret it?"
"Every single day."
"Was it worth it?"
She paused and considered her answer. She walked over and placed her hand on Sirius's shoulder, "Honestly, yes."
Sirius nodded, "That's all I need to know."
With that, he walked out of the room, leaving the image behind him for good.
Wow, this ended up being longer than I thought it would be. Remus kind of took over this chapter but I felt like it was time to give him a little love. Minor spoiler (as if you haven't already guess) the next chapter will be part 2 and will have the other four looking into the Mirror or Erised. I've always been fascinated with the mirror and always wondered what it would show for the characters in the books, my own characters, and what I would see in it. Also, I am not a witch and I didn't go to Hogwarts so I shall never know. Still, I hope you liked what they all saw and it makes sense. Feel free to leave a review; I love hearing feeback from you guys and it always motivates me to update quicker.