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Chapter 12

"Hey, Guys," Bella called from the kitchen, "supper's ready, come get it." Getting no response, she set a bowl of mashed potatoes on the table and peeked into the living room. Jake had scooped Leah Rose up from her blanket on the floor and was entertaining her with his wagging scraggly eyebrows and silly noises, while Edward watched over the top of the book he was reading, laughter lighting his eyes. It suddenly hit her why she had been leaning toward taking her baby to Rose. Rose would love her, but it wouldn't kill her to let go, when and if the time came. But, Bella realized, it was already too late, somehow the four of them had become a family, and no matter what she did, they would be devastated.

BR

The phone rang late one evening in mid July. "Edward," Jake called, "it's your father."

"Hello?" Edward answered anxiously, sure that this couldn't be good news.

"Hi, Son. I'm glad I caught you, I really wish you'd get a cell phone again."

"Yeah, probably not gonna happen. What's up?"

"Well, I wanted to let you know that there are going to be some changes taking place, and when you are ready for surgery you will need to let me know. I have been offered a practice in Seattle and I've decided to accept. I'll be leaving Chicago at the end of this month."

"But, what about the farm? Is mom turning it over to someone else to run?"

"Your mother won't be coming with me, Edward."

Edward felt as though he had just been kicked in the stomach. Nothing could have prepared him for this. "She's staying there, without you?"

"Yes. We..." he began, and then stopped, clearing his throat before he continued, and Edward could hear the pain in his voice. "Things have been strained between us for some time, and we have decided to see if some time apart is what we need."

"Was this your idea, or mom's?" he asked, anger beginning to flare.

"It was a joint decision." He cleared his throat again, and Edward wished he could see his expression. "Neither of us are happy about it, but I have to confess that there is some relief..." his voice broke, and Edward waited him out in silence as he tried to gain control. "Your brother's death," he finally continued, "was incredibly hard on both of us, as I'm sure you're aware. And then, when you were hurt, well..." he trailed off.

"So, this is my fault? You and mom are splitting up because of me?"

"Is that really what you heard? Because, that's not what I said."

"It is what you said, that you were able to hold it together through Eli's death, but my getting shot broke you!"

His father sighed heavily. "That's not what I meant. Look, we aren't splitting up, there has been no talk of divorce. I would never go there, and I don't think your mother would, either. We just need a change, we need to break the cycle of recrimination and blame, and we're both hoping that this will give us both a chance to think and heal."

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long will you be separated?"

Another sigh. "I don't know. I've signed a two year contract with the hospital."

"So, you'll be apart at least that long?"

"No, not necessarily. We've left the door open for your mother to come to stay with me, and for me to go home on weekends, but not for three months."

Edward didn't know what to say. He felt such a mixture of emotions, guilt, anger, betrayal, and underlying all of that, a heavy, lingering sadness for the loss of a brother he loved deeply, despite their separation and the difference in age.

His father finally broke the silence. "When were you thinking of having the surgery? I don't think you should wait much longer."

"Is the tissue ready, and is the hospital going to let you take it with you?"

"Yes, to both. Don't worry about it, it will be there when you are."

"If it weren't for that, when would you have told me about you and mom?"

"I knew you would take it badly, I was being cowardly. I should have shared this with you sooner, I'm sorry, son."

Edward grumbled a bit more, under his breath. "It's OK, dad, I know this can't be easy for you. I know how much you love mom. But, hell, if the two of you can't fix this, what hope do any of the rest of have?"

"Son, I don't want you to worry, we will work through this and be alright. I know that bit...person, broke your faith, but there is someone out there for you."

Edward wanted so much to be able to tell his father that he had, in fact, found his one and only, but he knew he couldn't. "I'll make arrangements to come soon, I just want to make sure Jake has the help he needs for harvesting. We've got several new customers for the organic produce this year, so we needed to hire some extra hands anyway."

"I'm glad to hear that, I've been worried about you. I know how you are, you haven't been working too hard, have you?"

"I'm fine, Dad, my leg hardly bothers me."

"Hmmm," his father said, skeptically. "Alright, after I'm settled in I'll call you and we'll firm up a time, OK?"

"That sounds good."

"I know I don't tell you this enough, but I'm really proud of you, and I love you very much."

"Thanks, Dad," he said, choking up just a little, "I love you, too."

"I know you do. Oh, and Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Call your mother, right away. Otherwise, I'll be even more in the doghouse than I am."

BR

It was tempting to just disappear, but in addition to the fact that Bella would never do that to the two finest men she had ever met, she would need to enlist their help with transportation. She felt like the lowest scum of the earth, but she could see no other option.

Edward froze when she spoke his name quietly that evening, sitting on the swing together, as had become their custom. It was time, he could feel it. Pain lanced through his chest, and he clenched his fists, waiting for the blow to fall.

"I need to buy a car," she told him.

Edward had the fleeting thought that maybe if her bag of cash went missing, she would be forced to stay. "Is this so you can leave?"

"I have to go some time."

"Where are you going?"

She couldn't look at him, keeping her eyes downcast. "I talked to my friend, she's in Washington State for a few months, I thought I'd visit, maybe get a look at the town where Phil said I was born." She went on to recount some of the things she remembered Phil telling her about the area.

His total silence in the face of her rambling finally raised her eyes to his face. He had an odd expression.

"What?"

"Bella, this is just so strange, I'm not even sure what to make of it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know that I'm going to have another surgery?"

"Yes, you've told me that."

"I was going to have my father do the surgery, in Chicago. He's been there forever, since he started out in medicine." He took a deep breath. "I got a call from him a few days ago. He's moving."

Bella's eyebrows went to her hairline. "Not...?"

"Yes. He's going to Seattle at the end of July."

"You're kidding! This is strange!" If it had been anyone but Edward, and if not for the look on his face, she would have suspected some trick. She studied his handsome features, seeing reflected the same confusion and puzzlement she was sure he saw on hers.

It was Edward who finally broke the weighted silence between them.

"When are you going?" he asked.

"Soon."

"You're not going by yourself."

"I can't..."

He overrode her objections, vehemently. "Bella!" he practically shouted, and she closed her mouth, glad they were outside.

"Shh..you'll wake her up," she cautioned, glancing toward the open bedroom window where Leah Rose slept.

"Sorry, but you're not going by yourself!" he insisted, more quietly, this time. He jumped to his feet and began pacing, his hands clenched in his hair, and then stopped suddenly in front of her, grasping her hands. "Can't you see? I'm supposed to go with you! What else could this mean?"

She gazed into his eyes, seeing the absolute conviction there, and gave in. "If I tried to go without you, you'd follow me, wouldn't you?"

He brought her hands to his lips, peppering them with gentle kisses. "Without a doubt."

"I think we should get a van, don't you?"

He flashed her a brilliant smile, so beautiful in his joy that it almost overcame the guilt she felt.

"Yeah, or a motor home, maybe?" he suggested.

"Not sure I have enough left for that."

"We'll use the insurance money from the van, too."

"Come on, Edward, you couldn't have gotten much for that beat up old thing."

"Hey," he said, standing and pulling her with him, "no hating on the van!"

He wrapped her in his arms and laid his cheek on the top of her head as she slid her arms around his waist.

"We'll find something."

"OK," she agreed, reveling in the closeness of their contact; the last time she had been in his arms, a large protuberance had prevented it. His clean, masculine scent both soothed and aroused, and she breathed it in deep.

"How long will the surgery take, how long will you be in the hospital?"

"The surgery itself won't take long, but how my body accepts it will determine how long I'll be there."

"What are they doing to you, what does the surgery entail?"

"They've, well, actually my dad," he corrected, "has been growing tissue from stem cells collected from me to replace the cartilage in my hip and knee, and the muscles in my thigh. The muscle tissue is highly experimental, but dad says it's promising." He shrugged, as if didn't matter, but she wasn't fooled.

"Will you show me?"

"My scars?" She nodded against his chest, feeling the way he stiffened in her arms.

"I'd...rather," She drew back slightly, and put her fingers over his lips, preventing his denial.

"Please. I want to know you, all of you."

He dropped his head, consenting, as she had given in to him a few minutes earlier, simply because it was her doing the asking.

He sucked in a breath as he unwrapped his arms from around her, sliding his hands down to capture her fingers. He lead her through the house and into his room, heart full of equal parts dread and anticipation; he wanted her to know him, too, but he wasn't sure he could bear seeing pity in her eyes.

They entered and she glanced around curiously, noting touches that made this space his; his books, some framed family photographs on the dresser, a couple of obviously original paintings on the wall over his bed. She was surprised at the nautical theme, a lighthouse and sailboat, she would have to pursue that later, was a love of the ocean something else they held in common?

He dropped her hand, turning to close the door. He hesitantly stepped to the middle of the room, unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Still not looking into her face, he lowered his pants and pulled up the bottom of his boxer briefs, revealing angry red scars and a hollowed out thigh where muscle had been carved away by betraying bullets.

She let her eyes linger on his uninjured leg, taut, firm and beautiful, for only a moment before turning her attention to the damaged one, and then tears blurred her vision at the reality of the pain he had suffered, was suffering even now. "Oh, Edward.." she whispered, then her eyes turned hard, "If she's not dead, I'll kill her."

There was concern and resolve in her eyes, but no pity, or revulsion, and he chuckled in relief as he pulled up and refastened his jeans. "I'm pretty sure she's dead, but if not, I don't want you anywhere near her."

She harrumphed, sounding so much like Jake that he laughed outright, and pulled her back into his arms, breathing in her warm, sweet essence.

"So, just the one more surgery is all you'll need?"

"Dad thinks that will be it. I will need skin grafts, but those are relatively minor, and he'll grow that from stem cells, as he did the muscle and cartilage."

"Is there a shelf life on the tissue? How soon do you need to have it done?"

"We'll worry about that later," he began, and then their conversation was ended by a cry from Leah Rose.

She squeezed him tightly before letting him go and walking away, glancing back with a scowl as she did so, "This discussion is not over, Edward, you are not going to put this off because of me!"

BR

It was a beautiful evening, just at twilight in late July, when everything changed and all their carefully laid plans went out the window.

The gathering dusk that cooled the scorching heat of a cloudless day found the four of them on the front porch, Edward sitting beside Bella in the swing, cuddling a bright-eyed baby as Jake rocked lazily in the chair next to them.

All day Bella and Edward had tiptoed around each other, each feeling tense and anxious as the trip that loomed in their future felt like a gathering storm. Neither wanted it to happen, but, just like a storm, saw no way to prevent it.

They saw a vehicle coming down the road, kicking up a plume of dust as it approached.

"Are we expecting anyone?" Bella asked.

"I'm not. You, Jake?"

"Nope, Sue's visitin' her sister."

The car, a late model compact, pulled slowly around the curve into the drive way and stopped.

"Prob'ly one of them travelin' Bible sellers," Jake posited.

They watched as the single occupant, his features obscured by the glare of the sun's fading rays on the windshield, opened the door and got out.

Although his head was down, and he had on a ball cap and sunglasses, Bella felt a chill of recognition zing up her spine. She stood and walked to the edge of the porch, her eyes riveted on the man now straightening up and turning toward them, slowly raising his hands. Peripherally she noted that Edward had handed Leah Rose to Jake and stepped inside.

The next several seconds seem to happen in slow motion.

She heard the screen door slam, Jake cursing, and the cock of a gun, she saw the glint of sunlight off familiar blond hair sticking out from under the hat.

"Jake," Edward said, in a voice she hardly recognized, "take them inside, now!"

She heard this all at the same time that she saw, out of the corner of her eye, an arm extended, with a gun pointed unwaveringly at the man standing like an exclamation point next to the car.

"Wait!" she whispered, and the weightless pressure of her fingertips on Edward's arm caused him to glance at her. Her face was white, but there was no fear there, and he dropped his weapon slightly.

The man slowly reached up to removed his hat and sunglasses, and Bella gasped.

"Jasper!"