A/N – Hey guys and girls. So, as many of the writers out there know, it's always great to have a sounding board. For me, this was found with a work mate and friend named Erin. She gave me some fairly incredible feedback and also listened as I passed idea after idea by her. So, as a thank you, I threw her into the story.

So here you are Erin (or erinaimeexx as you are also known.) I know you will read this and hopefully love it. Remember, you know some things but not all. I may be able to surprise you yet.

As for the rest of you, read review and enjoy. This is becoming a hell of a ride.

Chapter Five – Alternative

It only took a quick call to Ryan and Esposito to track down where Kaylee had been working. It gave Castle time to have a quick shower and for Kate to make herself another coffee. Alexis had spread out her homework over the breakfast bar, flicking her pencil over her thin fingers. Beckett watched her as she sipped at her coffee. The homework may have been there but Alexis wasn't. She hadn't done anything, simply stared into the distance.

"Alexis?"

Alexis blinked and her eyes focused on Beckett.

"Sorry."

Kate offered her a smile.

"You okay?"

Alexis shook her head with a sigh, dropping her pencil back onto the paper.

"I keep thinking about Hope. It's never going to be alright for her, is it?"

Kate swallowed. She knew that Alexis knew some of her story. There was very little that Castle kept from her. In fact, more than once, she had helped him on a case.

"You know how I lost my mother, right?"

Alexis nodded slightly.

"I was older than Hope is right now but it makes no difference. When you lose someone you love, it leaves a wound. It leaves a deeper one when that person was murdered. She will heal and there will be a scar and every once and a while, it will open again. But one day, she may be able to talk about Kaylee with a smile."

"Can you?"

"Sometimes, yes. But that's because I have not found out what has happened yet. Not entirely. I full intend to give that to Hope and her sisters. Not knowing the most painful part."

Alexis glanced down before meeting Beckett's eye again.

"I'm worried about Dad. He's never lost someone like that before. I don't think he knows what to do."

"I know. I've got him covered, Alexis. I'll make sure he's okay."

"He gets obsessive about these things."

Beckett smiled.

"Yeah I noticed that. What are you working on?"

Alexis sighed.

"An analysis on the cultural imperative of technology."

"Sounds fun."

"It would be if I wasn't so distracted."

Kate leaned forward.

"Tell you what Alexis, you focus on this paper and I will focus on your father. Do we have a deal?"

Alexis nodded and took Kate's outstretched hand and they shook firmly. Castle came into the room, his hair still damp. He looked better for having a shower.

"You ready, Beckett?"

Kate quickly downed the last of her coffee.

"Yup. Let's go."

"Nirvana for the insomniac's of the world."

Kaylee's second job as a sales representative to one of America's largest sales networks, Now! Line after line of desks, people and computers covered the room. It was noisy and busy. They were guided through the thong of people and all the noise. Eventually, after winding through a few cubicles, they were shown to an office.

"Detective Beckett, Mr Castle, pleasure to meet you. I'm the director of this company Deedee James. Please have a seat."

They settled themselves into the chairs and Kate pulled out her notebook.

"Mrs James-"

"Deedee."

"Deedee, what position did Kaylee hold here?"

"Sales representative. She took calls from the customers and put through the purchase."

"How often did she work?"

"Full-time."

"Did she have any issues with anyone here?"

Deedee frowned.

"Not that I know of. Do you really think that someone in this office could have hurt her?"

Castle offers her an easy smile.

"We are just covering all ends of the case."

"Alright."

"So again Deedee, does anyone have any issues with Kaylee?"

Deedee looked out her glass door as if she was expecting something.

"A few. Kaylee was…a very determined person. She was loud and opiniated. Not much got past her. In fact, she was recently promoted to a junior leadership position. She works much harder than most here. It put her on other people's radar. She got the job over many other people."

"Who were the main ones that had an issue with her?"

"Lisa Mandel, Joshua Deacon, Kylie Mentee and Jake Neil. All of them had major problems with her. Big ones. I know at one point they were pushing for her to be fired."

"How?"

"Making mistakes look like hers. Except Kaylee never made mistakes. She was a perfectionist."

Castle nodded in agreement. Kate cleared her throat.

"We will need to speak to each of those people."

Deedee nodded.

"Fine. I will let them know that they need to come down to see you."

"Great, thank you."

A few more questions later, they stood to leave. They shook hands with Deedee one last time before heading out the door.

"Next step is her publisher and editor."

Kate paused when a young woman caught her eye. Early twenties with long dark hair and wide eyes stared at her. Kate got the message loud and clear. She kept her tone low as she walked with Castle back outside the building.

"Someone wants to talk to us. Let's sit and see if she does."

A few minutes later, the same young woman walked out, walking purposefully in some incredible looking books. She searched the cars before her eyes landed on Kate. She continued forward, her strode casual before swinging herself into the back of the car. Castle turned in his seat and offered her a smile.

"Hi."

She returned it before turning her eyes to Kate.

"You need to know the truth."

Kate glanced at Castle before her eyes went back to the young woman.

"And that would be?"

"Kaylee was having an affair."

Kate saw the second that Castle's image of Kaylee fell. She could also see the second that his heart broke again. He swallowed heavily and sunk further into the seat, his eyes returning to the window. Kate pushed aside her concern and focused on the girl.

"What's your name?"

"Erin Gifkins."

"Okay Erin, what do you mean?"

Erin cleared her throat and leaned forward in her seat.

"Dillion Ross. She had been sleeping with him since she started this job a little over six months ago. I would look there."

"Why?"

"Dillion didn't know she was married. Hell, no one here did. I overheard a conversation and I put two and two together."

"Where is Dillion? Is he here?"

"Not today. Hasn't been here since we heard the news."

"Do you think he could have hurt her?"

Erin shrugged.

"He was pissed off, I knew that. I don't think he even knew she had kids. I don't know how you keep that quiet."

"Neither do we. What else did you know?"

"Not much. She kept to herself."

"What about the others who tried to get her fired?"

Erin shook her head.

"Nothing. They are all bark and no bite."

Erin's eyes flicked back to the building.

"I have to go. Before anyone sees."

Erin got out of the car without another word and did a bit of a dash back through the doors. Kate said nothing as she pulled out of the lot. What could she say? His entire image of Kaylee was gone now. This is what she had been afraid of, that all the dirty laundry would stink up the memory. She saw it day in and day out but she had never seen it like this. Castle was her clown, the one to crack an easy smile and threw out theories that made no sense. He kept her head straight. And yet when he needed her, she could find nothing to say.

At a set of lights, she flicked her eyes over to him. His head was leaning against the window and she couldn't see his face. But she could see the dampness on the edge of his cheek, the constant struggle to keep it all down. The drive was completely silent and he only moved when they pulled into the Precinct parking lot. He said nothing as he got out of the car and followed her into the building. They stepped into the elevator and she finally got a clear view of his face. It was the look he gave her that pushed her to it. He looked completely broken and without hope. She hit the emergency brake on the control panel and it caused the elevator to screech to a halt. She didn't need anyone to know or see her moment of weakness. Castle frowned at her. Before he could protest or question, she pulled him into a hug. She felt him tense before he put his arms around her waist, his face coming to rest near her neck. His heart raced against her chest and she could feel him swallowing still struggling to maintain that control. Nothing they heard today was good. And she knew it shattered everything that he thought he knew. Her voice was gentle and low as she spoke into his ear.

"I'm so sorry, Rick. I was hoping that this wouldn't happen."

The world shrunk down to that moment. Nothing existed outside of that small elevator. She waited a few more heartbeats before moving to step away but he simply pulled her closer and tighter. Her attempt to move away had shifted her body and now his mouth rested near her temple, his breath was brushing her cheek. It was too much. Too intimate for this present situation that they were in. She could feel the wall of her normal preservation start to build up again. It hit its full height when he laid a soft kiss on her temple, causing her to shiver. This time when she stepped back, he released her. Not that it mattered. She could still feel the weight of his hands on her waist. She stepped back completely and her hand went to find the brake button again.

"Wait."

His voice was chipped and tired. She paused, waiting for the reason. He didn't give her one. Instead he stepped forward again, one hand tangling in her hair as he found the back of her head and pulled her face towards his. When his lips touched hers, there was an explosion behind her eyelids and all the breath left her body. She was fairly certain that it would never return. He kissed her frantically, seeking something. Her lips burned as she kissed him back. It was only when his hands touched the bare skin at the edge of her shirt that her rational mind returned. She couldn't do this. Not here and not like this. He was upset, desperate for comfort, for some kind of reassurance that this had not destroyed the world completely. Whatever was between them and whatever the next step may be, it could not be tangled up in this. This wasn't a natural step, it was Bourne of desperation. She pulled away from him, trying to drag the air back into her lungs, her heart pounding hard in her ears.

"Rick, no. Not like this."

She saw the moment that he understood what she meant. He blushed, licking his lips as if trying to get rid of his actions completely.

"Kate-"

She waved away his concern.

"Forget it."

She hit the brake button and kept to the far side of the elevator. When the doors opened, she quickly stepped out, Castle trailing just behind her. A tiny part of her wanted to stay in the elevator, to forget the reasons that she pushed him away and said no. Because she knew that no matter what she did from here, those lips would forever be seared on her.