I forgot to mention last update that I posted pics of the Mother's Day gifts to my Twitter page Monday, if you're curious check them out.

Today marks 1 year I've been writing this story, I can't believe it! I never dreamed I'd be able to update regularly, much less it still be going strong. AMAZING!

Chapter 109

"Mmmm." Callie leaned back against her wife's body. "I've missed this." She said as she felt her wife's hardened nipples press against her back.

"Me too." Arizona whispered, placing a soft kiss on her wife's shoulder as she wrapped her hands around her middle. "You don't know how bad I missed holding you."

"Oh, I do too. I've missed it just as much, maybe more."

"Maybe." She teased. "This was a good idea, thank you."

"You're welcome, but I have to admit I mainly mentioned it for myself." Callie sighed, feeling so relaxed and at ease in her wife's arms.

"Oh you did? I thought it was because I needed it." The blonde tickled up the brunette a sides.

"Dont." She giggled as she pushed her wife's hands away. "It partly is because you needed it, but I'm also greedy and wanted to feel you against me any way I can." Arizona had been outside giving the dogs a bath when she found Callie sneaking off to the nursery to see if Charlee was still sleeping after she straightened up after lunch.

After cleaning and drying the pups off, she snuck up to the nursery to see what her wife was up to. That is where she found her baby and the brunette cuddled up in the rocker, both sound asleep. These were the times that Arizona loved, she couldn't get enough of these two girls in her life. This was something that she never envisioned in her life until she met Callie and even then she never thought it would feel or be this amazing. Doing as she had done over the month that the baby had been born, Arizona grabbed her phone and snapped a few pictures of Callie and Charlee sleeping. Both of their heads were thrown back and mouths slightly open as soft snores escaped both of their lips. If the blonde didn't know any better, she would swear that Charlee was Callie's biological child because they had so many similar traits and actions. The baby was even turning into her mommy as a sleeper. Already trying to roll over and sleep on her stomach much like her mother. Breaking herself out of her thoughts after watching them sleep a few more minutes, she bent down and picked the baby up and laid her in the crib, waking her wife when she did so.

"It does feel good, I can't believe we've not done this sooner." The blonde said as she cupped water in her hand and poured it down her wife's chest.

"I know." After the brunette's little nap, Callie suggested a hot bath with candles, bubbles and soft music after they put the baby down for the night. "Arizona?" She had been contemplating on whether or not to ruin the mood around them, Callie decided to ask what's been on her mind lately. "Will you talk to me? What has been bothering you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're not as subtle as you try to be. You've been a little... off lately. What's wrong? Is it Charlee?" She turned her head slightly and asked. "Or is it me? Have I done something?"

"No." Arizona answered, kissing her on the temple. "It's neither of you, don't ever think that."

"Well what's bothering you and please don't tell me nothing because I know it's something."

Four weeks. That's how long this feeling has been eating at Arizona. She hadn't gave it a second thought until Callie had mentioned it on Mother's Day over a month ago, but since then it's been silently eating away at her more so in the past two weeks now that Erica had been sentenced to twenty years in prison, than it was the day before the sentencing. Every time Arizona watched Callie and Charlee together, she felt a hint of anger or resentment if you will for that blonde. She was so angry with Erica because she was close to missing this. If by some miracle Callie could have gotten the baby back she would have missed seeing how she was with their baby. The little moments like waking up to her wife asleep with Charlee on her chest beside her or just laying on the couch with both of her girls waisting the day away. She could have missed seeing the brunette become an awesome mom, not that she was surprised, she knew Callie would be great at this even though she thought otherwise. Now watching the two together you would think Callie had been a mom her whole life.

"I... was hoping you didn't really notice." The blonde hesitated causing Callie to turn around to her.

"I did. It's just that you're a little distant.. maybe more standoffish." She shrugged. "Usually you'll rush into the room and grab the baby and play with her or you'll come up and hug us, but lately you've just been standing back and watching. Kinda like your just staring off into space."

"You make it sound like I don't do anything with her or you."

"No. That's not what I mean at all, I'm just saying that you just spend a little more time than normal standing around and watching."

"I am very aware of what's in front of me." Arizona sighed. "I've just been enjoying watching you with her, that's all."

"There's more to this." The brunette asked, grabbing her wife's hands. "I mean, it's not that I don't mind you staring because usually I love it. I do the same thing with you two sometimes, but you just look as if your mind is so far away, babe."

"I don't know." She exhaled. "I'm really not far away, I'm just reveling in the moment, thinking about you both and what I might have missed."

"What do you mean, might have missed?" Callie asked, stroking her face.

"Since Erica's sentencing Calliope, I can't help but think of what all I could be missing. When I see you feeding our baby, rocking or singing to her. I can't help but think those moments were almost stolen from me and it makes me angry. And who is to say that you would have even gotten Charlee back." She said, looking down, not meeting her wife's eyes.

"But you're here and Charlee's here and she's happy and healthy as can be." She said, lifting the blondes chin up. "And we're happy, right?" She asked. "I know I'm happy, beyond happy actually and you are happy, right?"

Seeing the uneasiness all of the sudden in the brunettes eyes. "Of course I'm happy Calliope, don't ever think different." She said, kissing her wife's hands. "I've never been more happy in my life, don't ever doubt that."

"So what can we do? What can I do to help you get your mind off this because she's winning." The brunette said. "She does, Arizona, as long as this bothers you, she's getting what she wanted."

"For once, there is nothing you can do." Arizona had been contemplating this for the past week or so now and she felt it would be the only way to move on from everything for once and for all. "Well, maybe there is one thing I guess."

"Well tell me, I'll do it."

"Don't be mad at me."

"Why would I be mad?" Callie asked, trying to get a little more comfortable in the bath as she pulled Arizona closer so she was now straddling her lap.

"I want to go see Erica." Arizona said, holding up her hand as Callie began to say something.

Pushing her wife's hand back down, she asked anyway. "In prison?"

"Yes."

"No." Callie didn't want Arizona anywhere near Erica.

"I'm not asking you, Callie."

"Why? Why on earth would you want to ever see her again when you don't have too?" She asked, leaning back against the tub.

"Don't get like that." Arizona said, seeing her wife retreat. "I just have things I need to say to her and I won't feel at peace with it until I get it off my chest. I don't want you to be mad, but if you are... that's okay too. You know I'd never do anything you're against, but I have to do this." The things that Arizona wanted to say to Erica might not be important to Callie nor anyone else, but to her it was important. She needed Erica to know she didn't win, that she doesn't get to have the last say.

That was the last thing Callie would have thought Arizona would say. She wasn't at all happy about the blonde wanting a visit with Erica. "I.." She sighed. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Arizona."

"That's okay. I understand." The blonde said, brushing the brunettes hair behind her back. "But I am doing this whether you approve or not. I have to do this, I hope you understand."

"I don't." Callie shook her head. "I never want to look at her face or talk to her ever again, how can you?"

"I don't know. I just feel like it's something I need to do, whether the outcome is good or bad, I need to do this."

"I'm not happy about this at all, but.." Callie sighed. "If you think this is what you need then I'll support you. It doesn't mean I'm happy about it, but I have your back."

"You do?" Arizona was a little shocked, she figured it would cause a fight between them.

"Of course I do." She sadly smiled. "But only on one condition." She said, leaning up.

"What?" The blonde raised her eyebrow at her.

"I come with you. I don't want you going alone."

"No." She shook her head. "I don't want you there, I feel this is something I need to do myself."

"I.. I don't know. I don't want you there alone."

"I won't be alone, honey. They'll be guards and everything. She can't get to me, she'll be on the other side of the glass."

"I know that." Callie exhaled. "I just don't want her putting anything in your head. You of all people know how manipulating she can be."

"I know, but there's nothing more she can do to get to me. I mean she's done the worst thing I can think of." Arizona said, seeing her wife shake her head.

"But I want to be there with you." Callie said as Arizona scooted off her thighs and rested her back against the opposite side of the tub.

"I know you do, but there's just some things I need to do without you. I don't want to, but I need too. This is about me and it's about Erica."

"It's about me too!" Callie shot back. "And our daughter."

"It's not really." Arizona said, seeing her wife tense up. "I'm not saying this to make you upset." She said, pulling her wife's feet into her lap to massage. "But you weren't there. No matter how much I tell you about that night you wouldn't understand what I went through. Yeah, I'm okay physically.. hell mentally too, but I still have things to say to Erica because she doesn't get the last say."

"Oh so, you don't think I know what you went through?" Callie said, angrily.

"I'm saying you don't know what it was like. You don't know what it felt like to think you won't be able to see the love of your life again while someone stands over top of you about to steal two lives from you. You don't know how it felt to not be able to say goodbye to your wife. All I could think was I just needed one more hug, one more kiss, I just to feel you one more time." She said as Callie began to stand in the tub. "Wh.. where are you going?"

"Don't sit there and tell me that I wouldn't understand, that this isn't about me. It's about both of us, and it's about Charlee. So don't sit there and dismiss what I went through. Even though I told you, apparently you still have no idea what I went through. I know, Arizona." Callie said, wrapping the towel around her. "I do know what it's like thinking you won't be able to say goodbye to the one person that you love more than anything. I know what it feels like to have your world ripped apart within seconds. I know what it's like to think that you'll never be able to see your wife again, or hold your child for the first time." She said, walking to the door of the room before turning back around. "Although we both had different experiences that night, I know what it feels like to think you lost everything." She said as the baby began to whimper through the monitor. "I know what it feels like to think you'll never see your wife or child alive. Don't dismiss what I went through. You don't know how it feels to have to be physically picked up off the street after you collapsed to the ground because your world crashed. I thought you and our daughter were dead." She turned and walked out of the room.

"I.. I'm.." Arizona hadn't heard that before. Callie had opened up to her about that night, but she didn't know that. "You idiot." She grumbled, resting her head against the back of the wall as she heard her wife enter the nursery and sooth their babies cries through the speaker. She could have sworn that she heard her sniff back some tears when she hummed to the baby. Giving Callie a few minutes, she finally climbed out of the tub and wrapped herself in her robe and headed off to her family.

Peeking through the almost shut door, Arizona saw Callie swaying with Charlee in her arms. The little girl already clung to her mommy almost as much as the blonde did. The bond the two Latinas shared was already unbreakable and if Arizona didn't know better you would think that Callie was the one who gave birth to her. Realizing she was doing the same thing she had the past two weeks, she made her presence known. "She knows the difference you know." She said slowly walking further into the room. "She knows when you're holding her verses when I'm holding her."

"Mmhmm.." The brunette dismissed her wife basically the same way she just dismissed her feelings minutes prior.

"Cal.." Arizona said, wrapping her arms around her wife's waist from behind. "I'm sorry." She said, smelling her wife's scent before resting her chin on her shoulder. "I'm not dismissing your feelings."

"But you did. You basically said it didn't matter how I felt through it all." She whispered, trying not to disturb the baby. "It didn't matter that I thought I had lost you both, I know how you felt in that sense Arizona."

"I didn't mean it like that." She said, rubbing her hands up and down her wife's arms. "It sounded different in my head, I swear I didn't mean it like that."

"But you said it. Three months." Callie turned towards the blonde. "It's been around three months since that night. I tried so hard not to do what I used to do and hold everything in. I talked to you about how I was feeling and you talked to me. I talked, Arizona, and I didn't hold it in only to blow up later."

"I know." Arizona whispered. "I know you didn't and I'm proud of you for doing it."

"Well then you should have known how I felt, but yet today you said I had no idea."

"I didn't mean it like that, honey. It came out wrong." She shook her head.

"It came out wrong or that's just your excuse so I won't be pissed?" The brunette said as the baby's light whimpers turned into a cry. "She's hungry." She softly said as the blonde took the baby in her arms.

"Are you hungry big girl?" She cooed as she brought the baby to her chest. Looking up, she watched Callie walk up to the windows still clad in her towel as she looked out the window. Sighing, she decided to wait and finish this conversation after she got the baby fed and back to sleep for the night.

After a few minutes of quietness, Callie walked over to give her daughter a goodnight kiss before walking out of the room without so much as a word to her wife. Going back into their bedroom, she went about getting ready for bed because as far as she was concerned she was finished with this conversation with her wife.

When Callie left the room, Arizona finished feeding and burping their daughter before rocking her back to sleep. About fifteen minutes after her wife left the room, she followed suit retreating to the bedroom. Seeing that the brunette was in the bathroom, she took a seat on the bed, still clad in her white robe as she leaned back against the headboard and waited for the brunette to come to bed.

Mere moments later, Callie came out of the bathroom dressed in sweats and a tank top while carrying the baby monitor that was placed in the bathroom for their romantic bath. 'So much for that.' She thought to herself, rolling her eyes as she sat the monitor down on the nightstand by her bed.

Arizona kept quiet as she watched her wife crawl into the bed and turn her back to her as she pulled the covers up around her neck. She figured the brunette would come out angry, but all she saw was hurt in her eyes, which made her feel terrible because she honestly didn't mean to say it the way it came out. She knew the brunette a world had been shattered that night too. "It's not an excuse." The blonde said, but Callie didn't budge, so she decided to clarify herself anyway. "I know you felt that." She reached down beside her and stroked her wife's head. "I do." She reiterated. "I didn't mean it that way, although that's exactly how I said it. I'm sorry, Calliope." She waited for some kind of response from the brunette, but still got nothing. "I only meant that you didn't know what it's like when someone's over top of you getting ready to steal your life from you. You and our baby, that was all I could think about." She said, waiting to hear something, anything from her wife. "To have to beg the one woman who despises the ground you walk on because you have what she wants, which is the most amazing woman ever." She said as Callie rolled on her back while she listened to her. "I don't ever want you to have to experience what I had to experience that night. It's frightening." Arizona whispered as the brunette finally met her eyes. "I'm not taking anything from you, we both went through hell. But that night... it was about me, it was about Erica hurting me. She wanted to take everything I loved and she knew she could never have you so she was just going to kill me and steal our baby." She looked down as she nervously wrung her hands together. "I want to do this alone, and I need you to stay with Charlee. It may be dumb because I don't even know what I'm going to say to her yet, but I need to know that she's safe while I go see her and the only way I'll know she's completely safe is with upu."

Callie reached for the blondes hand. "I do though Arizona." She rolled on her side to face her wife. "I know how it is to feel like your life is getting ripped away. I know how it feels to beg someone for your life, to want to touch the person you love just one more time, one more kiss, one more I love you." She said, sitting up in the bed.

"I.." Arizona forgot, with everything that has happened she forgot all about Callie going through the familiar experience a long time ago.

"The only difference is, you were pregnant. So yeah, yours was worse, but I know what it feels like."

"I'm sorry." The blonde shook her head. "I feel so selfish." She put her head in her hands and tears began to escape. She didn't know why exactly she was upset. She didn't know if it was because she made Callie upset with her or knowing that Callie did experience something similar and it killed her that they both had to feel like that.

"You're not selfish." Callie took her in her arms. "That was a long time ago and your attack is still very fresh. We both handled our experiences differently."

"I just feel so stupid now. I said things that hurt your feelings and I didn't mean too. I was only thinking of what happened to me and I forgot all about it happening to you." She mumbled into the brunette a chest.

"Don't." She said, rubbing Arizona's back. "I understand what you were trying to say now, even though it totally came out a different way. I didn't want closure with my attacker, to me, him getting put away was my closer. We handle situations differently. You want to talk to Erica because she attacked you. I don't know if you want answers from her or you just want to have the five seconds to say fuck you asshole. I don't know and... that's okay."

"I don't know either. I don't think I'll know until I see her." Arizona said, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We both went through something similar. But you had more to lose than I did. I couldn't imagine lying there helpless when someone was trying to steal our baby."

"Are you mad at me?"

"A little." She admitted. "You could have just came out and said 'Hey Callie, how about you shut the hell up. I'm doing this.'"

"You know me, I like to be a challenge to you. It keeps you on your toes." Arizona joked, pulling out of her wife's arms. "You won't be mad if I go see her?"

"I don't like the idea of her being anywhere near you again." Callie sighed. "But if you feel you need to do this, then no I won't be mad. We all handle things in our own way. My way to deal with it is to never want to see their face again, but if you decide you want me to go with you, I will."

"How about you and Charlee stay out in the car while I go in?"

"If that's what you want." She nodded. "I want to be there for you, so if you need me and our girl outside waiting for you we will. And if you want us waiting at home, we'll do that."

"Okay."

"Now, say you are sorry for being an ass so we can kiss."

Looking up, Arizona saw her wife with waiting playful eyes. "Sorry I was an ass." She pouted her lip. "Now kiss me." She said, grabbing the brunettes shirt and pulling her into her waiting pink lips. She could never get enough of her wife's soft lips.

"Don't kiss me like that knowing good and well I can't have you yet." Callie mumbled, pulling back from her wife. "Especially when I know you're not wearing anything under your robe."

"There is only a week or so left, I'm sure it won't make a difference." Arizona said, opening her robe.

"Nope, not going to happen." Callie turned from her wife and laid back down on the bed. She wanted her so bad, but they only had one week left before Addison should give them the all clear and she wasn't going to chance it even though the need was killing her.

"Aww, come on, Calliope." She seductively whispered, sneaking out of her robe. Pulling her wife's shirt up in the back, she pressed her bare front against the Latinas back. "Let me show you how sorry I am."

Feeling her wife's nipples firmly poking in her back, Callie fought the urge to take her right then. "Work.. work." She repeated, trying to get her mind on something else. "I.. I have to go back to work soon." She mumbled to herself. "To the clinic.." She thought. "My... office.." She was losing the battle as Arizona's hands started to roam up and down her sides. "A place where.. I've thrown everything off my desk and had my way with my gorgeous wife more times than I can count." She said, taking her bottom lip in between her teeth as the blonde inched her hand closer between her thighs. Shaking her dirty thoughts that were slowly creeping on her mind away, she grabbed her wife's hand. "We can't. I want too, so bad." She turned towards her. "But you know how scars are, if you don't let them heal long enough it could rip and I don't want that to happen."

"Why do you always have to be so strict on that." Arizona huffed, flopping on her back.

"Because I don't want to prolong making love to my wife any longer than necessary. And I don't want to have sex for the first time since becoming moms after a fight. A lady needs wined and dined before you take her home to fuck her."

"Your mouth." Arizona laughed. "I'm telling you, you're terrible."

"Tell me it's not true though." Callie giggled.

"It's true. So I guess I'm the one that has to think of the perfect date night?"

"If you want in my pants you do."

"Hmm.. is that so?" She said as the brunette laid down and snuggled up to her.

"Yep."

"We'll see.. we'll see."

"We will." Callie leaned up to look at her wife. "Night."

"Goodnight." Arizona raised up to kiss red lips. "Love you."

"Love you too." Callie rested her head on her wife's bare chest. "Oh.. and you owe me another bath." She said flicking the blondes nipple that was in her face.

"Owww.. still sensitive." She covered herself as the brunette a body shook from giggled.

Thank You Guys! Heads up, things are winding down, looking at around 10 more chapters give or take one.