"Look at these Earth filth, Gir. So pitiful, so disgusting, they do not deserve the privilege of increasing their height naturally! Today, however, will change all that, because today, all these humans will shrivel! SHRIVEL! Shrivel at my might in their own liquids!"
It was only morning and Zim had already garnered the attention of the human middle skoolers that walked by him, each one staring confusedly at the green boy as he continued with his monologue. After Zim stopped, he turned to his faithful robot companion, cleverly disguised as a normal Earth boy.
"Gir, I have cleverly designed your incredibly accurate human disguise. With it, you have successfully infiltrated the skool, and inside your head is a bomb."
Gir let out a shocking gasp, "Oh no!"
"Your head will be fine as long as you remove it before it detonates. Now, you must get to the cafeteria and release the bomb inside the Central Dump Vat, it's where the skool keeps the main food source of the day."
"Okay."
"You have to do it since I can't skip these classes again. Last time I was caught by the Bitters-human, and she did stuff to Zim, stuff that I never want to speak about or experience ever again." Gir just stared at Zim blankly with his fake, puffy eyeballs, "You understand, Gir? The only reason I'm telling you this again is because you kept forgetting the plan every two minutes while we were walking here."
"Yes."
"Repeat the plan to me."
"The monkey's peanut butter divides the rocket on the swing. Bacon."
"...Gir, that wasn't even remotely close. All you have to do is drop the bomb into the Central Dump Vat. I even led you to the cafeteria doors, it's right there!"
Zim pointed to the double doors with a sign that said "Cafeteria" on it. As soon as he did the bell rang, signaling for Zim to retreat to his classroom.
"Remember, Gir, go through here and put the bomb in the bucket." Zim saw Gir nod and hesitantly walked away, leaving Gir standing in front of the Cafeteria.
"Did master say to go into the Cafeteria and drop the bomb into the Central Dump Vat, or waffles?"
Gir stood there for a while, doing absolutely nothing, staring intently at the doors as if it were one of the wonders of the galaxy, until the hall monitor appeared. The hall monitor was a tall, middle aged man with cybernetic attachments to his face and limbs. He wore the orange sash to indicate his status and was a man of duty.
"You there, why aren't you in CLASS!?" The hall monitor shouted. Gir stayed silent. The hall monitor stared at Gir, finding his features...weird. The skin was leathery, the eyes puffy and pooping out of the skull, his hair made of a yarn-like substance, and cotton protruding from his chest. There was only one explanation, "You must be that new foreign kid that's suppose to come today."
The hall monitor pulled out a clipboard and flipped through a list.
"Yes, Hans G...something something...I can't read well. Your class is room B789X24R, get to it!"
Gir saluted and started walking away. As the hall monitor turned away he found another boy roaming his halls.
"You there! Why aren't you in class!?"
The boy turned and faced him, sighing in relief.
"O, zank you. 'Ello, I am da new foreign student, eh. I huv lurst mi wayo to le classes, guten. May yoose help Hans la gewd sir?"
"...YOU LIE! You're a trespasser! And all trespassers must be...ERADICATED!"
The foreign boy watched as shoulder mounted flamethrowers appeared on the body of the big man.
"AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! DA BURNING! LE BURNING! EEEEHHHHHH!"
What was the point in showing us this you vile, Earth-scum?
Oh no reason, I just like watching you.
...I did not think that my perception of you could get any creepier, it is unfortunate that I was proven wrong.
"I still can't believe that Ms. Bitters has been our teacher for three years now."
"I can understand her getting a promotion each year, but I think it's weirder that we're always stuck with the same people...unfortunately."
The brown haired girl with a floral design on her shirt had glanced at Zim as he was walking into the room as she said that. She then turned back to the orange-haired boy with a purple headband she was talking to. Zim went to his usual seat for his homeroom class. A classroom that looked just like every classroom he's ever been in. It was done on purpose by the school to highlight and prepare the students for the bleak monotony of everyday life that awaited them. He had been stuck with the same teacher and the same pitiful humans that he wanted to enslave more and more as each day went by. He wouldn't have minded this repetition as much though if it didn't also bring along an annoying worm.
"Get your tweezers away from me, Dib! You shall not steal my skin particles for your sick collection!" Zim shouted at the big headed human that stood behind him. He had been hiding behind Zim's desk, hoping to secretly steal parts of his alien DNA.
"One, it's not for my sick collection, it's so I can get DNA evidence to prove your otherworldly origins," Dib retorted, "And two, NEVER! Even if I'm the only one who thinks you're an alien, I will always stand between you and your sinister plans against the Earth and its inhabitants!"
"You leave Zim's sinister plans out of it!"
"Aha, so you do have one! What is it this time, Zim? Liquifying our skin to prevent us from holding in our organs, hacking our phones to brainwash us through our texting fingers, death ponies!?"
"No, but they're all very good ideas, but no, you're wrong! My plan is far more genius for someone of my superiority!"
"What is it?"
"I plan on dropping a b-Oh! You almost tricked Zim into revealing his plan! Too bad I'm too smart to fall for your big-headed mind games!"
"My head is not b-ARRRGH"
Dib was cut-off by the sound of knives on a chalkboard, the screech penetrating the eardrums of every being in the room, except for the source, Ms. Bitters.
"Class has started you wastes of space," Ms. Bitters said, "Dib, go back to your seat and try not to be too crazy today."
Dib did as he was told, knowing that disobeying Ms. Bitters was not a choice made by the living, or the dead if rumors were true. She went on to take role and started the day's lecture on black holes and how it was a vacuum of nothingness, much like her heart.
Zim's observation about everything being the same was not completely correct, however. There was one very, very, very frustrating change in his daily life that happened a couple of years ago when someone found him. He had gotten rid of her once, but she only returned to increase the mayhem in Zim's life in order to enact vengeance. Today, she sat in her usual seat, cleverly acting as if she was but a normal human girl. She always snickered to herself, usually it was a signal that things would not be good for Zim today.
"...Why are you narrating everything?"
"It livens up the story by giving insight of the mentality of the character, Dib, and I'm also the one who knows Zim's insides the best."
"There are so many ways to interpret that sentence with the drone, all of which disturb me."
"Shut up, lizard-stink! I was almost done forgetting your existence to alleviate my bulging brain aches!"
Gaz felt something...strange. It happened ever since she stepped inside the building. She just felt so unnatural today. Her mind felt scrambled, she didn't even notice when her teacher started talking. She was a tall human with blond hair and a cheery smile. The bright glow that seemed to be radiating from her always annoyed her morning students.
"Alright class, today we're getting a new student," she said. One of the students raised his hands, "Yes, Billy?"
"Why should we care?" said the boy.
"Because the skool can't afford to have you all treat this student like the last one."
"What last one?"
"The boy sitting next to you."
"He doesn't count as a human being."
"...You're going to become a terrible human being, Billy. Now everyone else who has a shred of humanity in them, please welcome Hans G. Irkoi Cheesuntobot Rotebanka Z78tu."
On the teacher's queue, a puffy face student walked in with bulging eyes. His strange feature immediately triggered several whispers from the students.
"What's wrong with his face?"
"Is one eye lower than the other?"
"Did you guys hear the number in his name, that's pretty cool."
"Is...Is that an antennae?"
"He must be really foreign."
"Settle down, students! You can spread your hateful rumors after class," The teacher said, "Hans, would you like to say anything?"
Gir didn't say anything. He just stared straight forward. His white, puffy, stuffed eyeballs wobbling. They were soulless, and the continued staring had only made each student feel as if the joy of life was slowly being sucked away, all except for one, but she faced her own problems with the new student.
Please no, Gaz thought. She knew exactly who it was, and it only added to the list of things that made this day bad. First her stupid headache prevented her from playing video games before class, then she learned from the nurse that headaches are no longer considered a serious medical problem by the skool anymore, and now it was likely she was going to get mixed up in one of Zim's stupid plans. After the awkward silence was over, the teacher motioned Gir to take his seat, right next to Gaz.
Just ignore it, Gaz, she thought to herself, maybe he won't do anything...now if only he wasn't staring at me.
The moment Gir sat down he turned to face Gaz, continuing his puffy stare that pierced souls. The minutes that felt like hours to Gaz were mind numbingly painful. Gaz was going to snap if Gir said anyt-
"Are you going to dance for me again?"
Fortunately, the teacher spoke before Gaz could react.
"Mr. Cheesuntobot Rotebanka Z78tu, I will not tolerate such rebellious behavior in my class! If you're so eager to share your inner thoughts then please solve the problem on the board!" The teacher motioned for Gir to come up to the board. He did as he was commanded and she handed him a marker. Gir looked at the complex equation that was written on the board, a mixture of numbers, variables, binary, and Greek letters. Gir didn't care about any of that however, he just saw an open marker and wrote what was on his mind.
"Oh my god, you actually wrote an answer. Well just because you can write something quickly doesn't mean it's...wait..." The teacher pulled out a reference book from her desk and flipped through the pages and started mumbling to herself, "The P is carried here, the exponents are added and placed in the quadrahedrylicalixon equation for maximum science. Wow, you got it right! The answer is P times I times G! And you did all so quickly without showing any work, it's like your brain is a computer! You must be...a super genius!"
Suddenly a big button appeared on the wall and the teacher pushed it. The sound of sirens blared in the room as well as red, blinding lights consistently flashing. The windows were shut and barred and the door was bolt shut, only to be unbolted a second later. The sirens and lights stopped when the door slammed open. A box taped to a skateboard and tied to a string rolled into the room. The teacher picked Gir up and placed him in the box and tugged the string.
"I'm sorry for the box, Hans, we got another budget cut last year," The teacher waved as the box was rolled out of the room by the string. Billy's hand went up once Gir left, "Yes, Billy?"
"I thought this was English class."
"Tell me your plan."
"No."
"Tell me your plan."
"No."
"Tell me your plan."
"No."
"Tell me your plan."
"No."
"Tell me your pl-"
"Dib-worm, can't you try to spy on my plans through some inferior Earth technology like you usually do?" Zim's first class had just ended and he was planning on retrieving a few things from his locker before checking on Gir's progress, unfortunately he found an annoying human waiting in front of his locker. The insufferable monkey was then continuously sucking on his noggin for knowledge while simultaneously blocking Zim's path. "Instead you're making my brain continuously hear your shrieks as I stand in these filthy halls!"
"I would, if I didn't get most of my spy-gear confiscated last Tuesday, thanks to someone."
"My clever manipulation of the tall authorities was ingenious!"
"All you did was told them that I had spy gear."
"Genius!"
"Whatever, just tell me your plan."
"Why must you keep insisting that I have an incredible plan that would cause you and your species' great suffering? I don't have a plan!"
"What the hell are you planning now, Zim?" The voice came from behind him. A scornful, female voice that both Zim and Dib recognized as belonging to the source of much of their physical pain.
"Gaz-human? What are you doing here? And Zim has no plan!"
"Don't act like you don't know. Gir was just in my class!"
"What?! That's not where he's suppose to be-I mean, what are you talking about. Gir is my simple robo-er normal dog that is not in this skool."
"Zim, you have a bunch of alien technology, but all your disguises are made from fabric and cotton. That stupidity is your trademark."
"My disguises are g-"
"Shut up! Listen, I'm not feeling well today, so if you do anything that involves me, you will feel wrath and fury of the darkest kind."
"You don't scare me, Ga-" Gaz stepped towards Zim and caused him to flinch. He got the message. Gaz then left Zim and his brother alone and continued to her next class.
"So Gir is wandering the halls of the skool. If I find him then I could reveal his robot origins and get proof of your extraterrestrial existence," Dib said.
"Why did you explain your plan in front of me?" Zim asked.
"I don't know...but I'll find him!"
"You will not, because of this!" Zim threw something soft at Dib's face. It bounced offed and fell to the floor. Dib looked down and picked it up.
"This is just an eraser." Dib didn't notice Zim's arm that hovered above him and opened the locker. Piles of books fell onto Dib, burying him in a sea of paper doom. Zim then ran off to find his robot. Dib was shoving books off of him, wondering why Zim would have so many books in his locker in the first first place. He finally saw the cheap, iridescent lights that illuminated the skool hallways, only to see the only other person in the skool who would infrequently talk to him.
"For all of Zim's stupidity, shortcomings, stupidity, incompetence, and stupidity, it always amuses me how he frequently bests you," She said.
"What do you want, Tak?" Dib said as he got himself up. The female Irken was in her human disguise as usual, pale skin, blue hair, black clothing, all provided by some sort of hologram projection device and infinitely more full-proof than Zim's cheap disguises.
"I couldn't help but overhear you asking Zim about some sort of plan. Now, seeing as how I take much enjoyment out of screwing with him until he is but a feeble mite, would you mind telling me all you know about it?"
"Even if I did know something, I wouldn't tell you! You're Irken too, Tak, meaning it is my duty to stop you as it is to stop Zim!"
"I see, well you're of no use to me then."
"Ahh!" Tak pushed Dib back into the pile of books and proceeded to open more lockers around him to cause more books to fall. Tak turned around and walked away from the human engulfed in an ocean of literature.
"Mimi," Tak called out for her SIR unit. A shadow quickly moved towards her and manifested into her personal robot, disguised in her cat form, "I know I overheard Gaz saying that Gir was in the skool. Find him."
Gaz was spending the remaining time before class in the bathroom, continuously splashing water on her face in a vain attempt to ease her headache. She stopped when she saw gray hairs floating in the sink. It dawned on her that the water in the bathrooms of this skool would only make her headache worse. She grabbed a paper towel and started wiping her face.
Just stay calm and focus,Gaz thought, maybe you can work through this headache. Just close your eyes and count to ten. One, two, three, fo-
I'm in!
"What the!?" Gaz quickly turned around. No one was there, she thought she had heard someone. She slowly started walking towards the door.
Hello, hello? Can you hear me?
Gaz stopped, she was certain she heard someone that time. It was a male voice, but what would a boy be doing in the girls' bathroom, and why would he reveal his location? She wasn't going to think about that yet, she just began kicking open the stalls.
Yes, I can hear you.
Who am I right now?
My sister from that dimension.
Good, it's not ideal but I can make use of her.
There were two voices now. She heard them clearly but no one was in the bathroom with her.
"Where are you?" She asked, "If you don't come out right now then I'm going to hurt you!"
Crap, she can hear us?
Don't worry, she can't do anything to us and it doesn't matter.
Oh, alright then.
"Get out here already!" Still nothing. There was no physical being in the room with her. Then a terrifying thought ran through her head. "Oh crap, are these voices in my head!?"
Yes.
Why did you answer her!?
Why not?
Because...because!
It is part of my duty to not lie to the civilians. It is part of the code of the Intergalactic Re-
Blah, blah, blah, just try the body takeover already.
"The wha-"
BREAK
"Listen up, you slimy pieces of carbon. Thanks to your parents and guardians, dodge ball was deemed too barbaric a sport and banned at this skool. Thanks to that, our annual Murderdome Dodge Ball Of Death Fundraiser was canceled and has severely crippled the funding of our sports program. So for today's game of football, your padding is now made from rusted scrap metal generously dumped from the Membrane Machinery Factory of Shiny Metal Science and your football is now a live pig!"
Gym class. If there was one thing Zim had in common with the Earth-filth children it was their shared hate of gym class. For Zim, it was because not only did the taller humans yell at him, but they required him to actually do tedious, physical labor.
Zim didn't have time for this though, well he never did but today was especially important. Gir was still running around the skool and Zim would still be looking for him if the hall monitor didn't catch him and drag him to gym, where not only was Zim restricted to a certain area, but Dib was able to freely follow him anywhere.
"When I blow my whistle, you must remember this objective. Hold on to the pig! I'm going to repeat this because it needs to get through your thick little skulls! HOLD ON TO THE PIG! HOLD! ON! TO! THE! PIG! And for incentive, the one who scores the most points with the pig will be exempt from all activities in my course for a week."
Zim just wished the teacher would get on with it. He didn't care about the silly rules to some silly Earth game and only wanted to look for G-
"Piiiiiig."
Zim recognized that voiced, and was shocked to hear it. He turned to his left but didn't see him, then he shoved some kid out of the way and saw the big puffy head that he had designed.
"Gir!" Zim shouted. The robot in the human disguise turned towards him.
"Hi master!" Gir waved his hand back and forth in rapid motion.
"What are you doing here?!"
"I went to this scary man behind a desk and he said my brain had smart juice in it. He promoted me to the next...uh..."
"Grade?"
"I love you too, master!"
"Wha-nevermind, the plan Gir, the plan!"
"Oh yeah, with the peanut monkeys and the bubblegum chew-"
"NO! The plan! Lunch is going to begin soon and the b-" Zim almost finished that sentence when he realized that Dib was standing right next to him.
"The what, Zim? The bee, the bard, the banjo, the bomb? That's it isn't it? A bomb! That's pretty unoriginal. I expected more from you, but nonetheless! I will foil your plans and-" Dib had just noticed Gir and the pathetic human disguise, "Wow, I thought your disguises were lame before but this, this is a new type of stupid. His head isn't even close to being proportional."
"It was modeled after you."
"For the last time my head is not big! Though I did set myself up for that one."
Before they could commence with their usual banter, the gym teacher blew his whistle and threw the pig into the air.
"PIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGG!" Gir shouted as a battle-cry. He leaped out from the group of students and grabbed the swine from midair and proceeded to run around the field with it. The rest of the students ran after him, fighting for the chance to get out of this class for an entire week. Despite their bests efforts, every tackle attempt only left the human kids broken and unable to move or lose consciousness. Gir continued to happily run back and forth with his pig buddy.
"That athlete," the gym teacher said, "it's as if his body was made of metals unable to break from strong force like weak human bodies, and he leaves behind nothing but a trail chaos and destroyed bodies."
The teacher blew his whistle to signal the end of the game. The pig in Gir's hand leaped out and ran back to the teacher, Gir followed. He was the only participant still able to move by the end of the game.
"You, you're amazing! I don't know who you are or even care, but you are now my star-genius athlete!" The teacher took off his hat and pushed a button inside. A siren appeared on the field and made loud noises just like before, and just like before, they stopped once a box taped to a skateboard appeared. The teacher picked Gir up and placed him in the box and watched as he was pulled away.
Zim and Dib watched this unfold from the sidelines, not even moving when the game started.
"You know, no matter what your plan is, I don't think it's going to work with Gir involved," Dib said.
"You make a valid point for once, Dib-slug," Zim turned to his wrist and activated a communicator, "Computer, send someone over to give me a bottle of poison big enough to infect the food vat at the skool. Simple plans like this never make me feel as triumphant as my more genius plans."
"Yeah."
Zim walked away from the field. It took a moment for Dib to register the situation.
"Hey! Wait!"
Has there been a change in the signal patterns?
No, just search harder.
Keef had been in Gaz's head for about thirty minutes. Nightmare Dib had given full control of her body to him and he was running through the school. The only opposition he faced so far was an overzealous hall monitor that he took care of thanks to Gaz's physical capabilities and his combat training. Nightmare Dib continued to watch his progress and watch the radar for any signs of The Employer.
I wish you had deduced the location of The Employer in a radius smaller than five miles.
I found you the location of one being that could've been in any dimension, any galaxy, and any planet. Don't complain.
You only searched one dimension and one planet.
Don't harp on details either.
Isn't there anything you could do to pinpoint the loc-
Keef, what happened?
I think I bumped into someone. Gaz's body looked down and saw a girl with purple spiky hair on the floor with books spread out. Oh, geez, what do I do?
Say something!
...Nothing's coming out! I can't speak while using someone else body!
"Dammit, why don't you watch where you're going you bi-" The girl stopped talking the moment she saw the face of the one who had knocked her to the floor, "Y-you're...y-y-you're..."
Punch her!
WHAT?!
We can't have her drawing attention to us like this.
But she's a civilian and-
PUNCH!
Keef acted on instinct at hearing the command and knocked the girl in the face, causing her to become unconscious.
OH MY! WHAT DID YOU MAKE ME DO?!
Who cares, just run!
Keef took off and noticed that everyone around him were making an effort to not get in his way.
Amazing, this version of my sister exudes an aura of ferocity that drives others away.
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME PUNCH SOMEONE LIKE THAT! IT'S COMPLETELY AGAINST MY CODE AND THE CODE OF THE I.R.K.! IF THEY FIND OU-
Keef? What is it? You stopped!
It's him.
The Employer?
No, Zim!
Keef shouted in joy, well at least to Nightmare Dib, he couldn't actually talk through Gaz's mouth. Keef spotted Zim outside a window, trying to sneak around the school. Following him was Dib, also trying to be as sneaky as possible. Then there was another being, a pale, blue-haired human also following them.
Who's that? Keef asked.
It's Tak. Nightmare Dib replied.
Tak!? Like devilish traitor to the I.R.K. Tak? Oh no, Zim's in danger!
Focus, Keef! Our Tak isn't the same as theirs and Zim is not a priority, I'm monitoring him anyway.
But he's right there, in his beautiful green Irken skin. I could touch him.
The Employer, Keef! We're searching this dimension for him, not so you can get extreme euphoria from seeing your dead partner. Besides, this Zim is an even bigger idiot than ours.
DON'T YOU TALK BAD ABOUT ZIM!
Don't start with m-wait. The radar, it's detecting a signal! The Employer, he's definitely in this school! Keef, Zim has to wait, remember your duty!
Keef reluctantly turned away from the direction Zim was going, remembering the reason why he was doing this in the first place. He continued forward.
Zim was walking through the school hallways, preparing for plan B. He reached a broom closet and stopped, he looked around to see if anyone had followed him, like the pesky Dib. Once he was done he opened the door and went in.
Dib popped out of a trash can he had jumped into while following Zim. Quietly he went to the same broom closet. He was certain that Zim had probably rigged this closet to enter some sort of secret room, why else would he choose this specific place to enter. He turned the knob and went in. Immediately he pressed himself against the wall opposite of the door, looking for some sort of secret button.
"Hello, Dib-scum."
Dib turned around, it was Zim, who had waited for him and was now blocking the exit to the room.
"Zim?! You mean this room doesn't lead to some sort of secret Irken lair?"
"No, what a stupid assumption to make!"
"Oh."
"But very fitting for you. Which is why you easily fell for my plan of trapping you inside this room!"
"Your entire plan was to trap me inside a broom closet?"
"No! This was just a plan I had to come up with to get you out of the way. Now no one can stop me from using my chemical bomb to mutate the lunch vat on chunky noodle day! Causing the noodles to continuously grow larger and larger as they seek to suck the water juices from your human bodies!"
"You planned to use noodles to suck the water from our bodies?"
"Yes! I learned from your picture screens that the Earth food known as noodles can absorb water to grow larger, and that the majority of your matter consists of this water! So by enhancing the bio-molecular qualities of the noodle fibers, I can create super noodles!"
"That's evil! And completely impressive, but still evil!"
"Or at least that's what the original plan was, now I'm just going to poison your food."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because there's no way for you to stop me when you're trapped!"
"But you haven't even knocked me uncon-" Zim knocked Dib unconscious using a spider leg on his PAK to knock over a shelf with multiple boxes marked "Heavy Stuff". Zim walked out of the closet triumphantly, feeling joy from having stopped Dib. Then he saw Tak.
She had waited for him outside the closet and let out a smile. She punched him, knocking him unconscious and threw him in a broom closet right next to the one Dib was in. Tak laughed maniacally as she walked away.
Gir was waiting in the nurse's office. After meeting with the principal for a second time, it was determined the Gir was a super genius. After taking a test where all the answers were marked E for none of the above that only a genius could pass, they contacted the Membrane Foundation. They decided that he was to be the first kid in space using their experimental commercial rocket, but first they had to test his brain for brain steroids, which is why he was in the nurse's office. Not that Gir comprehended that. He was just happy to have held a real pig again.
"Damn, where is that nurse?!" Professor Membrane said. He was in his floating monitor like usual and was with several other scientists from the foundation.
"She was taking an early lunch," said the principal. A short, white haired man who was proud that such a genius was coming from his run down skool. "She'll be back any minute."
Just as he said that a pink haired lady entered the room dressed in all white except for a red cross on her hat.
"You needed me principal?" She said.
"Yes, one of our students has a chance to become a part of history with the Membrane foundation, but we need you to check his brain for brain steroids that those other cheaters from the past have taken."
"No problem," she took out a giant syringe, "Just leave the room and everything will be taken care of."
"Yes," the principal motioned for the scientists to follow him. Once the door was closed, several mechanical sounds were heard and smoke appeared from the crack below the door. The sound of poking with needles and chainsaws were heard. It was over in a flash and the nurse walked out.
"This student...is clean!" she said. The principal jumped in joy.
"Thank you nurse."
"Now if you could excuse me, I have a headache and need to go home right now."
"Certainly, anything you want!"
The nurse took off and left the scientists. They went into the room to find Gir, with his puffy head head still intact.
Dammit, where is he!
I've scanned all the humans you've come across, none of them have any alien technology attached to them that would indicate a connection to the employer.
Dammit this could be our only chance!
I know, turn left, you haven't checked there yet.
Keef was now frantically searching the building, opening every door, including to those where class was still in session, letting Nightmare Dib do a bio-scan of everyone in the room. He had probably circled the skool by now. He had reached a hallway with two broom closets, despite doubting he would find anything in a broom closet he opened the first one he saw. There he found Zim, collapsed on the ground.
Zim! Keef went in and held Zim, Weren't you monitoring him? Why didn't you tell me this happened!
It's not priority! Besides, he's still alive!
Zim, my beautiful counterpart to my partner. Wake up!
Stop it!
Please wake up, my sleeping beauty.
Keef, you aren't going to do what I think you're gonna do, right? Keef? Answer me! No, no, no! Stay away from the unconscious Irken body and get back to the mission!
But I can't resist! It's too tempting!
WHAT! Keef, noooooooooooooooo!
It was too late, Keef had used Gaz's body to put Zim in a lip-lock. Gaz's pale lips pressed against Zim's green skin. All the sensation being felt by Keef. As Gaz's body continued to kiss Zim, sparks started appearing on her head.
Keef! No! The sensory monitors are overloading! You're going cause a dimensional shockwave that wi-
Once again Keef didn't listen and a blue shockwave of energy erupted from Gaz's head, forcibly ejecting Keef from this dimension. Gaz was regaining full control of her body once more.
Wh-where am I? Why am I feeling so...weird? And what's this feeling...on...my...LIPS?!
Gaz finally registered the situation. She was in a dark room, holding Zim, and kissing him. Gaz dropped Zim on the floor immediately and stood there stunned, confused, and shocked.
Why?! Why?! WHY?!
Gaz didn't know what to do, who was to blame, or what the hell had happened. All she remembered was hunting some guys in the bathroom and now she was kissing Zim. In her state of confusion, she ran, as fast as she could. Straight out of the school, and as far as possible.
"Hello, is this thing on? Ahem, welcome students, teachers, scientists, and esteemed media outlets to our celebration of sending the first kid into space!"
The principal had quickly organized an emergency assembly in front of the skool. He was proud of his new foreign student and all the the accolades his school will now receive.
"I'll tell ya, when what's-his-face entered my school I knew he was special. Thanks to our expert education program he soon blossomed into the genius boy sitting in that cramp rocket today!"
The principal pointed towards the puffy face pressed against the only window on the small rocket. A small applause followed.
"Now without further ado, the man who will activate the rocket, Professor Membrane!"
A monitor floated onto the podium the principal was standing on.
"For years my foundation have been answering all the big questions in science! How small can we make our technology? How big can explosions get? How toasty can we make toast without burning it? And now, what happens when we launch a kid into space! I will now begin the countdown. 10, 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0 lift off!"
Professor Membrane pushed a button and the jet engines lit up. An eruption of fire and smoke came from the bottom o the rocket, thrusting it into the air. It flew straight up for about 100 feet until it blew up in a spectacular explosion. Metal and burning cotton rained down on the shocked crowd who were attending the event.
"Make a note of this data, the rocket blew up 100 out of 100 tests," Membrane whispered to a fellow scientist. He then turned towards the crowd, "Well that concludes today's experiment, goodbye folks! There's punch in that van and we are not liable. He signed the waivers!"
Membrane and the other scientists quickly made an exit, leaving the crowd and skool faculty who were still staring into the sky.
Zim was slowly coming to in the closet. His head was in pain from when Tak hit him and his lips were moist for some reason. Light entered the room when a being opened the door, Zim looked towards it and saw the frame of his robotic servant.
"Gir? Gir! What happened to your disguise?" Zim said.
"I left it on the rocket," Gir replied. Zim didn't know what he was talking about and thought that it was just his usual nonsense.
"The bomb Gir! The noodle bomb! Did you leave it in the vat in the cafeteria like I told you too?!"
"A cafe-whatsa? Hmm, I thinks so..."
"Are you sure?"
"...no."
"Gir quickly, open you head, I had planned to leave by now but Tak has cost me valuable time. I have to deactivate the b-What?!"
"Aha!" Dib had sprung out from his broom closet as well, "You thought you could've trapped me in that closet, Zim, but you made one fatal error! You left the door unlocked!"
"Not now, Dib! The bomb is missing!"
"Missing?!"
"Gir must have left it somewhere! Quickly, Gir, we must leave before-"
Zim was cut off by the school bell. It was the lunch bell.
"Wait, how much time do we have left?!" Dib asked. A loud boom was heard.
"Less than zero."
They raced towards the end of the hallway, but when they were close to the door, giant noodles burst towards them. They hopelessly tried to run to the opposite side only to be blocked by more noodles. The soft, stringy food was filling the entire hallway, making Dib, Gir, and Zim swim in a sea of noodles. Finally, they were completely engulfed in noodles, slowly getting the liquids sucked from their bodies.
Gaz had made it back home after running for who knows how long. She ran to her room and locked the door, her heart still pounding and her head still confused. She searched her room and got one of her most prized possessions, her Vendetta List. She had to document this moment, maybe she would find someone to blame if she retraced her memory. She began with starting the day to seeing Gir, then Zim and her brother, to when she was in the bathroom, and finally to her kissing Zim.
I can't believe what happened. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE! I hate Zim! Even if the kiss felt nice- Gaz stopped writing, stunned at the last six words she just wrote.
No, no, no! She thought to herself, I did not just write that! This, this is Zim's fault! I don't know how, or why he would be unconscious, but who else could it be-
Gaz dropped her book and put her hand on her forehead, she was getting another headache. THIS. STUPID. HEADACHE!
I'm back in! Keef returned to Gaz's body, once again taking control over it.
Quick, this machine can only last for a short bit, you were just lucky I was able to maintain the mental connection with her.
Where's The Employer?
I don't know, you're not even in the school anyway!
What?! Keef looked around, indeed he was no longer inside the school, and now had zero chance to find The Employer. Crap!
Quick, do something!
Like what?
I dunno, you're the stupid intergalactic space cop!
Uh, uh, Keef spotted the diary on the ground, I'll leave a message!
Hurry, I think she's resisting!
Right, first is the necessary activation code, then the actual explanation, Keef wrote a sequence on the paper but Gaz's hand was twitching with every letter, making it harder and harder to write. He finished the code but was unable to move the hand any longer.
Keef, she's resisting! The machine's overloading! We have to-HOLY CRAP!
What?!
This weird demonic image just appeared on my monitor! Abort Keef, abort!
But the explanation!
ABORTING!
Keef didn't get any say in it, Nightmare Dib forcibly ejected him from Gaz's body. She fell backwards once his mind returned to his dimension. She used her windowsill to support her as she got up, on whatever caused her headache. It was too unnatural to just be a "headache". She glanced out her window, she saw someone walking down her sidewalk, someone she recognized. A pale, teenage girl with blue hair walking alongside her cat while twirling a nurse's cap on her finger and smiling deviously.
Gaz shot her a nasty glare, she didn't notice. Gaz had no evidence on her involvement in today's actions, but she knew one thing, that being was the only one who would mess with her on purpose and not out of stupidity. No one else she knew would even dare try anything against her, so she focused her anger on that being. She picked up her Vendetta List and wrote one name before closing it: Tak.