Clouds of Confusion

It's strange, remembering nothing.

They kept me in the hospital for a few more days, "for testing," they had told me. From the way that they all seemed to tip toe around me, they were all expecting me to break. Maybe they thought I would scream, break something, cry. But I didn't feel like doing any of those things. Was I the kind of person who did that before? There were a few doctors who told me the truth, they didn't bother to cushion it – they just told me. I liked them the best.
"We're still not sure what happened to you. Your tests seem clear, but there are a few worrying marks on your MRI that we'd like to look into before we let you go," One of the more honest doctors, Dr Evans, had told me. He was holding a folder that every doctor seemed to have. It had J. Doe written on it; was it mine?
"Is that mine?" I finally built up the courage to ask. Dr Evans looked down at the folder in his hands.
"It is," he smiled. His smile was nice, warm – I felt comforted when he did it. But it also reminded me of someone, or something. This was a weird feeling; knowing that you've seen something – or someone – somewhere, and not even remembering your own name.
"What does 'J. Doe' mean?"
"It stands for 'Jane Doe', it's the name we give people who don't have their own." I nod my head, the explanation sounding familiar. Which they said was a good sign in amnesia patients.

One night, I had just gotten out of bed to find the bathroom when I heard some muttering just outside my room.
"Ben, I don't understand why you keep looking at that muggle test? We have other, faster methods of finding out the same things," a voice whispered harshly. I frowned at the word 'muggle', I wasn't sure I'd heard that one before? Before I could think about it too hard, the man's companion answered:
"It just doesn't seem right, so I wanted to check every option. Plus, going in to an amnesia patients room and just waving around a wand – it's like we're trying to make her freak out?" It was Dr Evans. Everything they were saying had my head reeling. Wand? Muggle? What was going on?
"Are you going to tell her?" The first man was talking again, his voice lower than before.
"Tell her what?" Ben replied.
"You know? You can't just release her to the world without letting her know. She has the right."
"I know... but I just don't know how to explain it to her."
"Simple. Just tell her who she is; leave out any and all speculation – for her protection." My protection? My heart was beating too fast. They knew who I was, and they were keeping it from me.
"You're right," Ben breathed, his voice so soft now I was almost unable to hear it. They moved too fast for me to hear and I barely made it back into my bed before Ben opened the door, checking on me. I breathed steadily, waiting for him to leave. They knew who I was...

There were bright flashes of lights and shouts of anger and agony. The man was there again, and he looked worried.
"Get out of here, go!" He yelled. My body refused to move. His eyes were sharp, but the bags under them showed how tired he really was. His hair, clearer this time, was a very bright shade of red – like fire. His hand was on my arm. He squeezed and it hurt, but his voice was what hurt the most.
"You can't be here, they'll find you. You have to GO! NOW!" I knew he was right, but I couldn't leave. Not when he looked so worried, not when he needed me to stay. The man shoved me in the opposite direction, his chest rising an falling heavily. There were other people behind him now. I did not recognise them, but I knew they were people I used to know. They were dying and they needed my help.
"Hermione! GO!"

I woke with a start, my eyes wide as I tried to stop myself from hyperventilating. The dream was still echoing around my head as the nurses came in to check on me. Hermione...

Later that day a nurse came in to tell me they were letting me go.
"Do you think that's the best idea?" I asked Dr Evans, my chest heaving as I felt the (now familiar) wave of panic rush through me. He was walking me to the front of the hospital, and I noticed that there were many rooms I had never seen before. Dr Evans, and a few nurses, had helped me build my strength up by going for strolls around the hospital. We would visit his favourite patients, walk through the psych ward (so they could check up on my amnesia), and sometimes visit the small garden they had out the back of the hospital. But there were places here that I had never walked through.
"You'll be fine," he smiled, but this time it held less warmth. Ever since I had heard him speaking with Dr Hossier (the man in the hall) I felt like it had severed the relationship we had built.
"We are going to have people checking up on you weekly, just to make sure." He paused for a second, looking me over. "Usually amnesia patients need something to jog their memory; a familiar place or a familiar face..." His voice just seemed to peter out, his eyes becoming distant.

We stopped at the exit, moving to the side to let a few pedestrians enter. Ben let loose a deep breath and smiled at me.
"There's something I need to tell you."
"Yes...?"
"It's your name – someone in the one of the Psych wards recognised you..." My eyes were wide and my mouth hanging. He was finally going to tell me.
"Really!?" My voice seemed too high pitched. I took a few deep breaths and waited.
"He said it was Hermione, Hermione Granger."

Hermione... Go...

Hermione.

A/N: Words - 1,032

Gringotts - (New: Male OC) Ben Evans