The Tallests lost count of how long it had been since the invasion started. They've been monitoring the continuous battles of their five major cities from the main room in the Tallest Tower, their base of command. The Tallests had correctly predicted that the invaders would target the most valuable areas, a standard tactic taught to Irken Invaders. That was the enemy's mistake. To perfectly execute that tactic with an armada, the element of surprise is almost a requirement, else you would have to rely on brute force to conquer the cities. For most cases, brute force would be fine, if the targeted race were nothing but low-intellect, bottom feeder life-forms, aka not Irken.
Time and preparation had allowed the Irkens to build up their forces solely in those five areas and siphon all resources into them. While everywhere else was nothing but barren and desolate wasteland, five impenetrable fortresses were created. Still, despite having such a powerful defense, they were losing. Their opponents were very tall beings with exceptional combat skills. Even though the Irkens were fighting with mechs and had thousands of turrets protecting their cities, the enemies still came at them, wave after wave. They were agile, armed with lasers and deadly spikes for both long range and close combat. Even scarier was their ability to eat each other to suddenly increase their size, which would destroy most of the Irken mechs and ground vehicles. Their troops weren't even able to put up much of a fight, the enemy possessed some type of gas, deployed in the form of smoke bombs, that caused slight paralysis towards Irkens. The resulting slowed reflexes made even their most advanced soldiers fall in hand to hand combat.
The battle in space did not fair much better. Their space fleet is what prevented the larger invading vessels from entering Irk's atmosphere, only some pods that contained the enemy ground troops were able to get through, but each day the Tallests would see hundreds of Irken and foreign spaceships either fall into the planet or the explosions the ships would make in space.
Ironically, it was thanks to the invaders trying to kill them that the Tallests were given a second chance at life. Not even the Control Brains were able to predict the power of the invading forces. They decided to each command the forces in four of the major cities while assigning the Tallests to command the main city. Red would monitor all the activity while Purple gave the commands for the Irken soldiers. It has been like that for what could have been several Earth months. Despite their struggles the Irkens kept the war in a stalemate, but today was when the battle went from bad to worse.
Another ship fell from space today. The Tallests immediately knew which ship it was despite it being quite far away from them. It was one-of-a-kind. A flagship of the Irken Armada. The largest space vessel in their arsenal. They used it to oversee all their invasions while in space and was suppose to have no major weaknesses. It was the Massive.
They lost the space war. Immediately following the crashing of the Massive, the enemy ships started flying into the city. Purple immediately called for air support to counter them, but it would take some time before they would deploy and they were still at a disadvantage. They had been able to hold off the ground troops at the border until now. Giving the enemy access to their airspace allowed them to bomb the city or drop troops from within. If they couldn't stop them somehow they would quickly lose the city and possibly their lives. They became desperate.
Red left the monitors and grabbed a rifle, deciding to take on a more direct role in this battle. There are two requirements to being the Tallests, one is obviously height, second is having served in the Irken military. While Purple was a good field commander, Red was only a soldier. He went out to the balcony of their tower and took aim at one of the closer enemy ships. They were using see-through visors on all their ships, a foolish design flaw. The targeted ship began to crash as a laser burned a hole through the pilot's skull. Red may have only been a soldier, but he was very good with guns.
Red continued killing pilots with each shot fired, while the crashing ships didn't do much in terms of reducing the damage to the city, at least he killed some of them until the Irken air ships arrived. Red felt relieved at the sight of the Irken air ships, but it was brief. Purple appeared behind and delivered horrible news.
"Red, the enemy forces have breached our barriers!" Purple yelled.
"Argh! As if things weren't bad already!" Red said, "Where did Zim even get these soldiers?!"
"From Earth probably."
"But it's suppose to be some tiny rock with no major treats on it! We made sure to either destroy or enslave any real threatening races in this universe!"
"Well they're kind of beating us."
"I know. We can only hope that the other cities are holding up." As soon as Red said that an Irken appeared before them. It was possessed like the previous ones; Red didn't take this as a sign of good news. "Please tell me that the other cities haven-"
"The other cities have been breached."
"I expected as much."
"It would've gone better if some of us didn't use dumb tactics.
SMASH TACTIC NOT DUMB. SMASH STRONG.
You're the first one of us who lost their city.
Quiet both of you, besides, you lost your city soon after as well.
That's because my city had inadequate defenses prepared.
Now you're just blaming outside factors for your loss.
At least I'm not inc-
All of you shut up! Besides, I was the one who held out the longest anyway.
That's it! I've had it with you." The control brains continued arguing amongst themselves, eventually leading to the sight of an Irken choking itself. This continued for a while before the Control Brains finally realized they couldn't actually hurt themselves through the Irken host.
"Please, almighty Control Brains. Now isn't the time to argue with each other when the enemy is taking the planet," Red said.
"We wouldn't even be in this situation if your stupid plan actually worked!"
"I know that, great Control Brain."
"I can't believe your reasoning was that it formed the nose of a smiley face."
"But even if they weren't following that path of a smiley face, it makes no sense for them to avoid Conventia. It's a vital planet to the Irken Empire and the closest planet to Irk. If they had really wanted to crush us completely they'd target it."
"Well they didn't. Now we have to deal wi-
Wait.
What do you wan-...
Do you sense it?
...Yes.
As do I."
"Um, Control Brains. What are you sens-"
"SILENCE!" The Tallests did as they were commanded and remained still. The Irken host for the Control Brains started twitching wildly until a long, metallic tentacle appeared from the Irken's PAK. The tentacle flew backwards back into the main room. After a few seconds a screech was heard and the tentacle appeared before the Tallests again, this time constricting an Irken. "SPY!"
"What?" Purple said, "This is just the Irken that brings us cookies. It's all he ever brings for some reason."
"This is no Irken," The Control Brains threw the Irken at Red who caught him.
"What are you talking abo-" While Red was holding the being, he noticed something wet on his two fingers. The liquid came from the being's skin, "What the-?! This Irken is covered in some sort of green liquid, and it's dripping off. Now that I have a closer look, this thing's eyes are drawn on!"
"You're right!" Purple said, "And look, its antennae are removable!"
"Actually, those look real. I think it started twitching in pain."
"Oh, you're right."
"Ugh, what's with this liquid, it just keeps dripping the more I touch it. Wait, if this thing was here for all this time, then it must have been spying on us!"
"YES.
We said that already.
Idiots."
"That's how they figured out my plan to blow up Conventia! That's how they not only avoided it but fooled us as well! That's why we're losing this war right now! Because of you! You little cookie bringing slime! AAAAAHHHHH!" Red took the spy he held between his hands and threw it into the sky, hitting an aircraft and causing it to explode on impact.
"FOOLS!
To be so incompetent that you let a spy infiltrate Irk!"
"Well to be fair, it did had a pretty convincing disguise."
"Yes, it did mimic Irken disguise designs well, but no matter!
You have doomed us all with that spy!
Now you shall be punished!
EXECUTION!"
The Tallests quaked in fear and held each other at the thought of their imminent deaths. Even if the Control Brains weren't able to trace them should they escape, they were on a balcony thousands of feet in the air with a possessed Irken blocking the only entrance. It floated towards them, getting more menacing the closer it got, staring intensely at the Tallests with its glowing, possessed eyes. It continued to stare at them, and stare, then stare some more, maintaining the focus and intensity as it continued to stare.
"Why aren't they dead?
Who's in control of the tentacle?
Not me, you decided I was too 'volatile', jerk.
And every time you talk you only further prove my point.
I'm gonna watch you explode someday.
But not today.
I might get lucky. Hey, loud idiot brain, use the tentacle to tear these Irkens in half already!" The Control Brains waited for their fellow brain to activate the tentacle they had used earlier, but it didn't activate nor was there a loud outburst of few words.
"I find this silence by the Brain disturbing.
Yes, could he have dis-possessed the Irken host?
I'm surprised I haven't after hearing you talk.
That's it! After we finish this I am shoving my tentacles in your orifices!
Ha! Your tentacle skills are weak. I would've inserted and removed my tentacles before you even extended yours!
Your juvenile taunts have no affect on me.
'Your juvenile taunts have no affect on me, der, Imma a smart brain'
Don't you mock me!
Both of you should refrain from your bickering and focus on the task. One of us has dissap-ARARARKKKFDDDDSSSK-
What the-?!
That did not sound good. Quick back to our bodies!"
The Control Brains de-possesed the Irken, much to the Tallests' relief, but they still had a link to the Irken body as the Tallests were still able to hear their voices.
"My Irk! Their bodies-what the, who are you?!
You dare challenge us?! Eat my tentacle!...You-you actually ate it!
Y-you-you're a bio-organic!
That can't be, we're the last bio-organics in the universe!
Ah! Stop eating my tentacles!
Bio-organic, please, I understand my death is imminent, but I have one request. Kill the other one first.
What?! You b-ARRRRGAGAKKK-
Ha! Told you I'd watch you explode. Alright, I'm ready to di-ARRGAGK-..."
The Tallests couldn't believe it, something, no, someone killed the Control Brains in seconds. While they were glad that they weren't going to die at the tentacles of their fallen leaders, there was still a losing war right behind them. Knowing all that, they did the only thing they could do, run away and attempt to escape the planet.
They ran back into the main room, and as soon as they passed the monitors showing the defeat of the other four major cities on Irk, they were staring at the barrel of two laser blasters. They were held by a tall, though still about a foot shorter than them, female Irken. She wasn't clad in the standard purple Irken armor their soldiers wore, instead she wore silver armor with black linings, just like the enemy Invaders.
"Who are you?" Purple asked.
"Wait, I remember you!" Red said, "You're Tori! No, that's not it. Ter! No that doesn't sound right. T-It's on the tip of my tongue, T-...Ta-...I got it. Your name is Ikary! Right?"
"It's Tak, you idiots! Invader Tak!" The female Irken shouted at them, pushing the blasters closer so that they could feel the cold metal on their Irken skin.
"Uh, I don't seem to remember an Invader Tak at all."
"That's because I was never officially given the title of Invader."
"Well that's why, you can't expect us to memorize the names of non-Invaders do you?"
"But I should've been one! If not for an annoying, disgusting, disturbing, stupid Irken by the name of Zim!"
"Well we have something in common. We all hate Zim, so now can you let us go."
"No, because I've grown to disdain you two also! All those years of Earth, trying to please you, trying to get you to recognize me as an Invader, but always you forget my name, always you never acknowledged my offerings, and always Zim would muck up my plans to conquer Earth in your honor!"
"Earth? The tiny, filthy rock we exiled Zim to?"
"Wait, I remember getting an offering from Earth once!" Purple said, "It was a case of metal cylinders containing liquids called dee-et Poop. It was disgusting, like they were purposely absent of any sort of sweetness."
"That was from Earth? I thought Skoodge just sent us more rat people drool."
"Honestly, I thought the drool tasted better than the Poop."
"Eh, yeah but the texture is what kind of ruined it for me. It was just so slim-"
"Hey!" Tak interrupted, "Did you two forget that I have two lasers pressing against your skulls?"
"Oh right! We're at the mercy of...uh...What was your name again?"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
"STOP!" Tak was a half second away from pulling the trigger before she was interrupted by a deep voice.
"Who said that?" Purple asked, "And why does his voice feels like smooth peanut butter rubbing my antennae?"
"It came from me," an even taller figure stood at the door frame of the room. He took out a blaster and shot out the lights in the room before entering. The newly created shadows obscured his face as he approached the Tallests. A black cloak hid his entire body, the only thing visible were his white eyes.
"You! I have no idea who you are!"
"You shouldn't, but you can call me many names. The destroyer of your Control Brains for example. The conqueror of your planets is another. The leader of the invading forces works just as well. Or simply, the Employer."
"You're leading this invasion?! Not Zim?!" Red asked.
"No, but he was a great decoy. You were planning on fighting on Zim's level, to fight stupid with stupid, which worked so well for me, because I'm not stupid."
"So that means it was you who did all this? Cutting off our communications, decimating our resources planet by planet, and sending a spy to infiltrate our base?!" Purple said.
"Si! It was so easy to plan my attacks based on my spy's information. Even after you cleverly deduced my attack pattern as a smiley face, I did the unthinkable! I went from the bottom up when I began the nose pattern!"
"You vile slime! Who does that?!"
"I even took the trouble to set up that hologram for Conventia but it was worth it just to hear your pitiful screams of despair at the realization that you failed."
"Why are you doing this?" Red asked.
"Jajajaja, what reason do you have for your invasions? Do you really need to devote an entire planet's resources to making melted cheese for your chips?"
"Hey, that melted cheese is an Irken delicacy!" Purple retorted.
"That melted cheese is your downfall! No longer were you expanding your military might but choosing what comfort item your new planet will focus on exporting. You got cozy in this empire your race built, never worrying about any sort of threat, which made it much easier for my forces to suddenly overwhelm you."
"You still haven't answered why you're doing this," Red said.
"Because I can. I have the power to watch entire civilizations bend before my will, why would I be content with existing in a universe where beings, who are weaker, lazier, and dumber than I, are the ones in control? Tell me, why shouldn't I, the superior being, not take this universe?"
Red couldn't counter him. He was essentially using the same logic the Control Brains had told all the Irkens. They were the strongest race, anything else was inferior, they were made to stand on the heads of others.
"You won't win."
"Jajajajajajajajajajaja! Your stupidity never stops amusing me. Laugh with me Tak, jajajajaja," Tak let out a forced laughter as the Employer commanded. "Thanks to your conveniently placed monitors, I can see everything in every other major city I invaded; such as the maiming of your race, the pools of Irken blood flowing through the ground, my armies trampling the corpses, and my forces taking full control of your cities."
Red and Purple wanted to turn to look but were afraid of the blasters still pressed to their foreheads. They were suppose to be the strongest race, but it was obvious they were going to lose. Irk had never felt such despair in eons. Might, intelligence, and superiority, those words meant everything to the Irkens and the Tallests. "We lose" were the two words that should never be uttered by the Tallests, and they never will be.
The Employer still watched the screen, feeling joy from seeing his forces triumphantly destroying Irkens, the feeling rapidly turned to shock as he saw the cities in the monitors blow up one by one. The ace was played. Thanks to the darkness, neither Tak nor the Employer were able to see the four spider legs from Red's PAK activate the four buttons below the monitors.
"I guess your spy didn't tell you about that did it?" Red said.
"Is the answer to all your losses to blow things up?" the Employer said.
"Well it is simple," Purple replied.
"You know, the only reason I stopped Tak from shooting you in the face was because I wanted to gloat. Now that you've wiped out over seventy percent of my forces, I'm just going to kill you now," Red didn't have any words, but he didn't feel fear anymore, mostly because he used up their fear the two other times they faced near death today. "I like that silence. It reflects what you'll be saying in the future."
"You mean because they'll be dead, right?" Tak said.
"Si, Tak, I was trying to be ominous. Why can't you read my tone?"
"Wait!" Purple shouted, "You don't want to kill us now!"
"Some last minute effort to delay your deaths? I don't care, shoot them."
"Wait, wait, wait! There's something you need to know!"
"Ugh, you have five seconds."
"Uh-...uh-look over there!"
"...Really...I give you a few seconds to somehow save your lives and you say 'look over there'?"
"Uh, sir?" Tak said.
"Not now, Tak. That right there is why I just have to take this universe from you. You're just stupid, and letting stupid beings have power is a disservice to the universe."
"Oh Irk!"
"What now, Ta-" The Employer finally saw what Tak was looking at. From the open balcony they saw something heading-no, crashing towards them. The Tallests turned their heads and noticed the impending danger as well. All four leaped away as the object went right through the balcony and landed right in front of them. The object was metal sphere, about four feet in diameter.
"Hey answer me! Someone answer, there's a problem here!" A voice came from the sphere. The Employer motioned for Tak to go near it. She obeyed and cautiously approached it.
"I fell out of orbit! Please, hurry up and respond! Zim!"
That name instantly made all four of them twitch. Tak was next to the sphere and touched it. Slowly a hatched opened and revealed the being inside. It was a small being with cybernetic limbs, it was talking to some sort of communicator.
"Hurry up and help me already! I-" The being finally noticed the four beings staring at him, "Oh crap."
"What is that thing?" Purple asked.
"Wait, I recognize you," Tak said, "You're one of Zim's peons."
"Uh-...uh-look over there!" The little being shouted.
"...Shoot him," The Employer commanded. Tak took aim with her blaster but just as she was about to pull the trigger a monitor appeared, barricading the small being. It turned on and an image of a decapitated head of one of the Employer's moose soldiers appeared on screen, being held by three black-gloved fingers.
"Hello Employer and stupid Tak! It is I, your dumb moose soldier!" The voice on the screen said in a mocking tone. The hands shook the head up and down attempting to mimic natural head motion. No one was amused. The hands then threw the head away, showing an all too familiar being. "Hahaha! Had your feeble minds fooled, didn't I? Fools, that wasn't your dead soldier talking, it was I-"
"Zim?!"
"ZIM!"
"Zim." Purple, Red, and Tak said with confusion, hatred, and disdain respectively.
"-Zim!" Zim finished.
"I told you he wasn't dead, idiota," The Employer said. Tak, being the closest to the monitor, was the first to notice that Zim wasn't alone. Behind him stood the two annoying humans she knew, Gaz and Dib, Skoodge, the Fefian, and the two Darvons she had saw with him.
"Indeed, I am still living. What fools you were to just leave me, you should've just stuck a blade through my skull or something." The Employer wanted to slap Tak since even Zim pointed out her mistake.
"Zim! Why are you here? This guy said you weren't invading Irk!" Red said.
"Ah, my Tallests, good to see you. It seems you have been misinformed since I am invading Irk!"
"Wait so we were right? But then-the Control Brains-the plan-explosions-" Red started jumbling his words at the confusion of the current situation.
"Don't worry, my Tallest, I'm not working with the pitiful shadowy being beside you. I am conquering Irk on my own! Then, after usurping your position and becoming the new leader of Irk you will return to me my title as Invader!"
"...WHAT?! You're going to usurp us, all for a title?!"
"Being an Invader is in my pants!"
"...You know what, I've been mentally tortured by you for months now. I'm just going to let you do whatever you want, I'm sick of this!" Red placed his fingers on his forehead, as if trying to relieve a searing migraine, which was common when talking to Zim.
"Why are you here, Zim," The Employer said, "You were given a chance to live. You should've just left, lived out the rest of your life cycle before I hunted you down for amusement."
"Hahahaha! As if you're going to be the one who conquers this universe before Zim!" Zim said, "You're not in any position to make threats against me either."
"What are you talking about?"
"Look over there!" Zim pointed away from him but the monitor was still fixated on him, "...Gir move your head!"
"Okay!" Shouted a high-pitched voice on the monitor. The camera panned to reveal a large glass cylinder with energy flowing through it.
"Recognize it?"
"That's-that's my ship's power core!" The Employer said.
"Yes! This battle you're having with Irk was a great distraction for my small group to infiltrate your ship. Most of your crew is still preoccupied with the battle below and haven't even realized we're in here."
"Zim, don't you dare do anything to El Moosey Megaship Mark Cinco!"
"Unfortunately, Employer, I don't care." Zim held up a detonator for the Employer to see before pressing the button. An explosion of sparks and energy erupted behind Zim as the core of the ship was blown up. The ship was apparently falling as the camera began shaking. "Hahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Zim!" Gaz shouted in anger as she grabbed onto him, "Did you seriously just blow up the ship while we were still on it?!"
"Yes!...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" The screen went black, but the Employer and Tak could easily tell what was happening just by looking outside. They walked towards the opening caused by the metal sphere to get a better look. It was the sight of their Mothership falling from orbit, on a collision course towards the planet's surface.
"Maybe he'll finally die this time," Tak said optimistically. The Employer just glared at her and Tak let out a sigh, "Yeah, he'll probably miraculously survive this too."
"Let's kill his pawn before we go to deal with him," The Employer said but when they turned around, a saucer appeared below the sphere and launched it upwards, destroying the ceiling of the building and getting away from them. "Arrgh! Let's just kill these tall bugs then."
"Uh, sir."
"They escaped didn't they."
"Yes."
"Arrgh. I hate Zim!"
"Uh, sir."
"...There's worse news isn't there?" Tak motioned for the Employer to look outside again. A very large ship with an immense cockpit was piercing the atmosphere of Irk. Just the sight of another Mothership was worrying enough but this one lowered itself close to the city and began transforming. Arms and legs were formed and a face was projected on the cockpit, the eyes resembling Earth glasses. A piece of the ship attached itself on top of the head and cascaded downward, forming the shape of a scythe. It let out the roar of an angsty, douchey teenager and proceeded to go on a rampage in the city, attacking all in sight.
Unfathomable anger began boiling up in the Employer. Zim was no longer an annoying needle in his plan, and now he was going to make sure the Irken suffers. The enraged Employer screamed the name of his soon-to-be-victim.
"Zim! ZIM! ZIIIIIM!"