Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or ideas from The Killing. It's all just for fun.

Spoilers: Season 4, episode 6

Reddick isn't often surprised by people, but today is certainly an exception. After everything that has happened since Lt. Skinner was killed, everything he has found out about Linden and Holder – that mess sure had been a surprise – the one thing he hadn't expected was for Linden to show up in his doorway, ready to confess. She has always been a fucking stubborn pain in his ass, and she has stuck to her story – that she had nothing to do with Skinner's death – as if her life had depended on it. Too bad she was so obviously lying.

And then all of a sudden… when she'd stood there in front of him, not a smart ass remark in sight, her face had almost done the confessing for her. He wonders what had brought about the sudden change of heart.

He sits down at his desk and picks up his phone. He has an important call to make before he talks to Linden. After his meeting with the Deputy Commissioner about the whole fiasco, there had been rumblings from the Mayor's office, and he'd been told to "keep in touch" with them about this case. He needs to let them know what has happened. He dials the main number for City Hall.

Ten minutes and several "let me transfer you to that extensions" later, the Mayor's assistant listens and repeats the message back to him, then thanks Reddick for the call and hangs up, saying that their office would be in touch soon. Whatever that means, he thinks sarcastically.

Reddick had excused himself after ushering her into the interrogation room, leaving Linden alone in this familiar setting. She'd been there numerous times over the years, but this time, of course, it's very different. She's never been on this side of the table before, and it doesn't feel good. Still, she'll be glad to get the whole thing off of her chest. To stop hiding.

The seconds tick by as Linden waits in the interrogation room. They stretch into minutes. It might as well be weeks or months. She doesn't bother to keep track of how long she's been there, all she knows is that time seems to drag on endlessly as she waits for Reddick to return. She drums her fingers against the table, glances up at the clock without actually noticing the time, taps her foot… anything to try to distract herself from thinking about what comes next.

He probably went to call Holder, she thinks, and closes her eyes involuntarily at the thought of her former partner. Her former friend. How had it all gone so horribly wrong?

Easy, the voice in her head pipes up, the one that's always so eager to remind her of her failures. You fucked it all up, just like always. She knows that it's true, that it's always been true. It feels like all she's good at is fucking everything up. After all, how else would she have ended up where she is right now?

His phone call finished, Reddick heads back to the interrogation room. He has no way to know for sure, but he'd put money on the fact that Linden's the one who off'ed Skinner, and that if Holder had anything to do with it, that it had been against his will. Holder's a good cop, but Linden always seemed to be dragging him down with her.

Reddick sits down at the table across from Linden. Without a word, he slides a pack of cigarettes to her and lights the one that she takes out. It's an uncharacteristically considerate gesture between the two, but all things considered, Reddick feels like he can afford to be nice. After all, he's ninety-nine percent sure he knows what's coming.

They sit in silence for a minute as he watches her, just sitting and smoking. Reddick has all the time in the world, and she has come to him, after all. Clearly, she has something to say. She's shaking a little, he notices as she holds the cigarette to her mouth.

Holder walks through the front doors of the station, not even sure why he's there. He's not sure he can even concentrate on work right now. He's still so goddamned angry with Linden… No, angry's not the right word, but he doesn't know what is. He isn't sure he's even going to be able to sit down, he's just so wound up, and it's pissing him off. He wants to pace, he wants to hit something, he wants to… Ugh! he thinks. He's so frustrated, he's not sure he won't take it out on the next person who looks at him wrong.

He's seriously considering going home, for everyone's sake, when he overhears a couple of the unis talking as they walk past him down the hall. Something about Linden being in interrogation room one with Reddick.

WHAT?

He doesn't stop to ask questions, doesn't stop to apologize when he almost knocks those same unis over as he lunges forward down the hall around them, suddenly needing to know what's going on. What the hell had she done now? He finds himself behind the two way mirror that looks into interrogation room one just as Linden starts speaking.

Linden lets out a shaky breath, and then begins. "I killed James Skinner," she tells Reddick flatly, looking him directly in the eye. She pauses then, as if preparing herself to go on. "I shot him twice, put him in the car, and drove it into the lake. Holder had nothing to do with it."

"Dammit, Linden…" Holder whispers aloud. There's no one else in the room with him, surprisingly. Maybe Reddick hadn't told anyone what he's doing. It doesn't matter, really, all that matters is that Linden has just confessed to all of it, even what little part Holder had played. He doesn't want to go to jail, but he doesn't want Linden to go to jail, either. He closes his eyes, shaking his head slightly and willing it all to go away. This whole nightmare… he needs it to just stop.

Reddick nods ever so slightly, looking down at the table between them and considering what he'd just been told. "Hmm," he muses aloud. He looks up at Linden and tells her, "I offered him a deal. With the baby coming, I figured he'd be the weak link. I knew you wouldn't be. Not you, Sarah." Reddick pauses then, his eyes not leaving Linden. "He told me to go fuck myself in the rear end."

Linden almost smiles at that, looking down. Fuck, she thinks at the same time. That's when the realization dawns on her. He didn't betray me. He… Oh my god… I am the world's biggest fucking asshole. She lifts her cigarette to her lips again and inhales, trying to hide the breakdown that she's having on the inside, trying to push away the flood of emotion that Reddick's statement has released inside her.

Holder's eyes open when he hears Reddick tell Linden about their conversation in the hallway, the one where Linden had assumed that he'd betrayed her. He watches her reaction carefully, sees how tightly she's trying to hold on to her emotions. Back at St. George's, when she'd accused him of making a deal with Reddick, he'd been too shocked by her accusation to defend himself. He'd never even tried to tell her what he'd actually said to Reddick, and she had assumed the worst. He'd let her.

Now, watching her learn the truth, he actually feels bad for her. Somehow he's fucked up enough to feel bad for her, the one who'd had so little faith in him, the one who'd betrayed him in the worst way possible way. But he can't help it, because he knows that Reddick's words and the realization that Holder hadn't betrayed her are just making her hate herself more than she already had. How can I possibly feel badly for someone I'm so angry with? he wants to scream. None of it makes sense. Not one single bit.

She keeps smoking, exhaling shakily and staring at the wall, then suddenly she turns and looks Reddick directly in the eyes. "I'm waiving my rights. I don't want an attorney. Everything I've said is admissible in court. I'll sign anything you want." She stares at him evenly. "You can arrest me now."

Reddick stares back at her, then looks down at the table in front of him. Based on how he feels about Sarah Linden, he would have thought that he would have been enjoying this moment a lot more than he is. But now, sitting here listening to her confession, it just feels… wrong. If Skinner really had been the Pied Piper, the one who murdered all those girls… he doesn't like Linden at all, but he almost admires what she did, that she'd killed him. The woman has balls.

Linden quickly notices that Reddick hasn't said anything about her confession. It doesn't make sense. This is the kind of moment that the Carl Reddick she knows would have lived for. So why doesn't he have any smart ass remarks? Not even a smug look of satisfaction on his face… What's going on?

Suddenly, just as Reddick is trying to decide what to say next, the door opens. Reddick stands up as two other men enter, dressed in suits. "Deputy Commissioner…" he says to one of them.

The Deputy Commissioner looks at Linden. "Stay seated, Detective Linden." The other man stands behind him, against the wall. Yet another well-dressed man enters the room and steps to the side, and then finally, Mayor Richmond rolls into the room in his wheelchair. Linden watches the scene unfold before her, thoroughly confused.

Richmond speaks in the same breathy voice that Linden remembers from the many occasions when she questioned him during the Rosie Larsen case. The first case that she had worked with…

"Sarah… it's been a while." He brings his wheelchair to a stop across the table from her. "How's your son? Jack, right?"

Linden stares at him, confused. She doesn't think this could be any stranger if he was speaking Chinese or had grown a second head. Seriously, what the hell is going on? she wants to scream. Why does no one else look like there's anything strange about what's going on here?

Richmond continues as if they're just friends catching up after not seeing each other for a long time. "Uh, he's in high school now, from what I recall."

Linden, ever intolerant of bullshit, can't take the fake pleasantries anymore, and she cuts him off. "What is this?"

Keeping his voice as even and calm as before, Mayor Richmond replies, "John tells me there's a rumor going around about a Lieutenant Skinner." Linden just stares at him, not sure where he's going with this, or why he's there. Is it some kind of sick trap? Because she has already confessed…

They stare at each other in silence for a few seconds, then Richmond continues. "According to this rumor, he was the so-called Pied Piper serial murderer."

Linden replies robotically. "Yes, he killed those girls. It isn't a rumor, it's true. So I shot him. I killed him." Linden can't help but feel like Richmond doesn't quite grasp the situation. He must not, because he's acting so nonchalant about it.

"I think you've made a mistake, Detective." He puts a file down in front of her. "The coroner's official report," he tells her, though it's written across the front. Linden opens it, still unsure where he's going with this. "Lieutenant Skinner's official cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. It was ruled a suicide."

Linden looks up at him, shaking her head slightly. She's at a loss for words. This is just… wrong.

Richmond's next words shock her even further. "I'm sorry for your loss. You had a personal relationship with Lt. Skinner, from what I understand. Add that to the stress of this last case, and I can understand how his suicide must have been quite a blow."

Though maybe she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, Linden responds angrily. After all, she has just confessed to killing Skinner. "He didn't kill himself and you know it." She shuts the file with a thud.

Richmond looks at her intently, wanting her to hear his next words loud and clear. "You put me in this chair. I would gladly lock you up for the rest of your fucking days. But imagine the public response if a cop, a high-ranking detective, was the killer of young children. The damage would be irreparable."

"To whom? You?" Linden demands antagonistically.

"Joe Mills killed those girls," Richmond replies simply. Typical politician, Linden thinks. He actually sounds like he believes it.

Linden's angry now, her sense of justice having returned now that she has accepted the reality of her fate. She has come to terms with not hiding what she did anymore. "Joe Mills didn't kill those girls! Skinner confessed."

"You have this on tape? What evidence to you have, detective?" Richmond asks curiously, already knowing the answer.

Linden decides to change her tactic. Slowly and clearly, she tells him, "I will go to the press."

Richmond shakes his head slightly at her. "You have a history of mental illness, Sarah." She stares at him, defeated. Then, before she can put up any more of an argument than she already has, Richmond says, "It was nice seeing you."

The conversation is over, and Linden is more than a little bit shell shocked. Richmond rolls out of the room, his aide taking the file from the table. The door closes behind the various men who had come into the room with Richmond as they follow him back out, and suddenly only Reddick remains in the room with Linden, just as if none of the rest of them had ever been there.

Reddick stands in the space that Richmond has just vacated, across the table from her, and looks down at her for several seconds before saying, "Always the one with the conscience." She just looks up at him blankly. "Sometimes that's not enough," he adds. He starts to leave, then he lays something metal on the table and slides it to her, before turning and walking out.

She takes the cold metal in her hand and remains sitting at the table, sliding the pack of cigarettes from one hand to the other, but then decides to leave them on the table as she slowly stands up and puts on her jacket, pulling her long ponytail out from under it.

She's lost in thought when suddenly she feels something, the strange sensation that someone's watching her. Of course. She'd almost forgotten about the two way mirror. Turning and looking into the glass, she sees her own reflection. However, somehow she knows that Holder is on the other side. She can't see him, and she can't explain it… she just knows. Her eyes sweep back and forth and she walks slowly up to the glass, as if she would be able to see him if only she could concentrate hard enough. She stops right in front of it, staring through it even though she can't actually see through it. She knows he's there. She can just feel it.

For a second she contemplates saying something to him through the glass, trying to get his attention, asking him to come out and talk to her. She doesn't just want to talk to him, she feels an actual physical ache to talk to him, even just to see him, even though she knows that seeing him would just make it worse. She has never in her life felt more alone than she does at that moment, and he's the only person she has ever known who could make her feel like she isn't alone.

Except that that's now in the past. In true Sarah Linden style, she has destroyed that friendship for good, and she knows it. Now her life has come full circle and once again, she is alone. It hurts even worse now than it did before, she discovers.

There's no way he'd speak to her again, not ever, and there's absolutely no way that he doesn't hate her. Hell, she deserves it after the way she treated him. Of course he hates her. She hates herself.

Besides, even if he doesn't hate her, she doesn't deserve to be forgiven. No, it's better this way. She's no good for him, never has been. She's been fooling herself all this time, thinking that their friendship worked because they're both broken. No, maybe he is broken. She, on the other hand, is… beyond repair.

Holder stands on the other side of the window, close to the glass. He watches her there, staring at him without seeing him. It's obvious that she somehow knows that he's there. He'd swear that she could see him, even though he knows for sure that you can't see through that glass from the other side. Still, after everything they've been through together, he believes that in a way, she can see him. It's that connection they've had for a long time. It should be broken now, after everything… so why does he still feel it? He wishes that he didn't, because maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.

He stands there frozen to the spot in front of the glass, once again feeling assaulted by his emotions and yet empty at the same time. How can you feel so angry with someone that you want to hate them for what they've done, and yet at the same time feel like losing them is ripping your insides out? How can you feel like you've already lost someone who's standing right there in front of you?

He wants to go into the interrogation room and shake her until she stops acting like this, acting like…

Linden. No, he realizes that she's acting exactly like herself. He has watched her destroy so many things, so many relationships, so many parts of her own life. Why did he expect any different? And yes, they've had their share of nasty arguments before, but where they are now… he just doesn't see a way back, as much as he hates to believe it. No, he has always known her to destroy things, even almost understood that part of her. He just really never expected their friendship to be one of those things.

I never really knew her, I guess, he thinks. The thought makes him feel like questioning everything else in his life, as well.

That's not true, and you know it, the voice in his head tells him. You're the only one who has ever known her.

Yeah, he tells the voice cynically. A lot of good that did me.

No, he thinks, he did know her once, but that just makes it worse. Because he had known her, but in the end it didn't matter. It didn't change anything. In the end, no matter what he had tried to do, she was still throwing it all away, and now he has no choice but to watch her go. Why the hell is she so determined to be alone? he wonders. In theory, he knows why. She's protecting herself. But…

I just thought… he sighs inwardly, his eyes still locked on her, I just thought that we… that we were friends. I just wanted to be the one to prove her wrong. To prove that not everyone leaves.

As he watches her turn and walk away, his mind is screaming for him to do something, anything, but his body is frozen in place. The rational part of him knows that if Sarah Linden wants to walk away, then Sarah Linden's going to walk away. And yet, even if it won't help, he wants to scream at her and make her understand how betrayed he feels by her, even though he's passed the point of being able to explain it in words. Should he really even have to explain it? She pointed a fucking gun at him, for God's sake! How exactly did she expect him to take that?

At the same time that he wants to scream at her, he also wants to grab onto her, to shake sense into her, to stop her from doing this, from throwing away their friendship, even though he knows deep down that it's too late. He knows that she's already made up her mind. Hell, apparently she'd decided long ago that I was going to betray her, so she decided to betray me first. That's just fucked up.

His face is expressionless as he watches her leave the room, her badge left on the table. So that's it, he thinks to himself. This is how it ends. He knows that he needs to make himself move from the spot where he's standing. And yet…

It's as though by leaving the spot where he last saw Linden, he'll break his last tie with her, and even after all the shit she's pulled, even after she pulled a gun on him, he can't quite bring himself to walk away. Just… not yet. What the hell are you waiting for? he demands of himself. He just wishes he knew. His head falls down toward his chest and his eyes close in frustration, but still he stands there, trying to get control of his emotions.

He doesn't leave room for a long time, the ghost of Linden lingering on the other side of the glass long after the real life woman is long gone. He sighs heavily and reminds himself to breathe, reminds himself that like so many other things he's been through, it will get easier. Finally he decides that he's ready to turn around and leave the room, too. The last thing he does before he turns out the light and walks out the door is to glance back at Linden's SPD badge, still sitting on the table where she left it. He reminds himself that he's going to stop feeling like this – angry. Confused. Empty. He just wishes that he knew when.

Good luck, Linden, he thinks numbly to himself. I hope you find peace. He hopes that he can, too.

A/N: As all of your lovely people know, this is really, really close to the end of the last episode of season four. If you don't know already, in 2014 I wrote another fic called "Running" that picks up pretty much right where this chapter ends. Overall I was really happy with that story, and I can't imagine trying to completely re-write that time period a completely different way… so I decided to weave my two stories together. If you've read Running, I have to tell you that I've gone back and heavily revised it. I like to think I've made major improvements, so I hope you'll read it again. It was my first ever fanfic, and I'm happy to say that I feel like I've improved a lot since then. SO, long story short, the next chapter of this story is actually chapter 1 of Running. If you click on my profile, you should find it easily. If not, let me know. I've removed the old chapters, and I'll be posting the new ones as quickly as I can. They're all done, I'm just giving them each one more last read through before I post them. After Running, there will be one more chapter of You're My Ride (which is not yet written), that I'll post here. Confusing? Maybe a little. But I hope you enjoy it. :)