Thank you to all who reviewed! I'm very happy to have you and welcome to anyone who is new to this story!
Reply to unknown reviews
dearreader: Sorry about the grammar, I'm trying to fix it all as I go along. But anyways, the reason why she didn't kiss him is cause in her mind she doesn't WANT to cross that line with Thorin cause it's like jumping off a cliff for her. She did mean to stop and though she did regret it a little afterwards she grew to realize it was probably for the best. Lian's a very black and white kind of person which is why this area of grey with her feelings towards Thorin are very confusing for her. You gotta think, she's never even had a crush on a guy so she has no experience in the subject and doesn't know how to respond to it. I'm really glad for your review and how you expressed your feelings on the chapter and matter. I enjoy readers who like to know the details to thing.
Disclaimer: I do not own the hobbit or it's characters. I do however own my own and the artwork I out into the series.
Chapter Eleven: The Fear Of What Is To Come
"Let us move out!" Thorin bellowed.
They began their travel cautiously away from Beorn's house, weary of any orcs that may present themselves to the company as they passed. Lian half expected a swarm of them to corner them but thankfully none appeared.
Thorin had not said a word to her since the events of yesterday and she's relieved that he hadn't confronting her about it. She didn't know how to go about the whole situation no matter how hard she tried to think of a way to make things normal again. The rest of the group had given them plenty of space, not even daring to try and get involved with whatever was going on between her and Thorin.
So far Lian had done her best in keeping an indifferent attitude; she didn't trust herself to even glance in Thorin's direction much less talk to him. Her stomach kept doing nervous flips every time she even thought of it. She knew that there was no room for whatever was between her and Thorin, they were on a quest to retake the dwarves homeland, not explore her blossoming hormones.
Beorn had sent them off with fair warning and she wondered if they'd ever see the Skin-Changer again after this. Perhaps on her way back?
Mirkwood came into view rather quickly, its large mass of forest expanding beyond her sight as they came to a halt before a white gate, withering and rotten trees a contrast against the stark white pillars.
"This place is beyond foul." Lian spat in utter disgust, the stench of rot making her ill the closer she went towards the large mass of trees.
"Here is our path through Mirkwood." Gandalf announced.
"No sign of orcs, we have luck on our side this day." Dwalin added before dismounting, the company following suit and grabbing their belonging along the way.
"Set the ponies loose, let them return to their master." Gandalf ordered, turning to venture closer to the diseased forest.
"This forest feels so…sick, as if a disease lies upon it." Bilbo frowned.
"That's because it is, powerful sorcery had been cast upon this forest. Once it was called Greenwood but now it has adopted the name of Mirkwood for obvious reasons." Gandalf explained.
"Is there no way around it?" Bilbo asked hopefully.
"Not unless we go 200 miles North or twice that distance South." Gandalf sighed.
The company entered the white gates; vines intertwined thickly over the elven statues while the stench of rot hung thick in the air around them. Already it sent Lian's stomach rolling, polluting her lungs with foul stench. Gandalf approached one of the statues, reaching out a hand to rip a portion of vines away from stone. An eye adoring the vivid color of red stared back unseeing.
Lian paid no mind to this unknown symbol, instead she ran her fingers over the carved pillars, trying to imagine what this place had once looked like in its original state. Only when Gandalf began to mutter something quietly to himself does she look over.
The wizard suddenly strode out of the white gates, ordering Nori to refrain from releasing his horse. Lian rushed out of the forest along with the others to watch the wizard neared his horse, confused as to his sudden haste.
"You're leaving us." Bilbo stated; rather crestfallen.
"I wouldn't leave unless I had to. You're in reliable hands, I assure you." Gandalf reassured the hobbit
"Gandalf!" Lian called, rushing to stand before the wizard. "Ya can't leave us now! This forest is foul, it…disturbs me." She swallowed the lump forming in her throat, it was true, the forest frightened her beyond her wits but she also feared what would happen in Gandalf's absence.
"I wish I could stay but sadly more pressing matters have risen. I have faith that you will not fall to this forest." Gandalf placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly.
"Everything is so chaotic, things are happening with Thorin and I don't know what to do. I feel so unsure." She breathed; her voice quivering, not even trying to hide the confusion and fear in her eyes.
"Dear child, you have nothing to fear." Gandalf chuckled softly, his eyes softening at the young woman's troubled expression. "Life takes many directions and it's now your time to choice which path you take. Follow your heart; it will not lead you astray." She gave a reluctant nod, stepping away as Gandalf mounted his horse with a swirl of his grey cloak.
"I'll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and key safe; do not enter the mountain without me!" Gandalf called.
"This is not the Greenwood of old, the very air of the forest is heavy with illusion that will seek to enter your mind and lead you astray! You must stay on the path, do not leave it, if you do then you'll never find it again!" With that Gandalf rode off, galloping at full speed to his destination; wherever that may be.
Lian swallowed the bile that rose in her throat, She could only hope that she wouldn't make an even bigger fool of herself before the end of their quest. She cared for the dwarves and Bilbo and she didn't want to ever loose their friendship over something so petty.
"Lian." Kili called, snapping her back to reality and she quickly caught up with the group as they began to follow the old stone path through the putrid forest like Gandalf had instructed them to, looking back one last time before the heavy shadows of the forest swallowed them.
Already she felt suffocated, the air was stale and nothing seemed to be alive around them, it sent her skin crawling in the most unpleasant way. The company traveled for hours, the road seeming to never end, like an endless weaving path. The sun barely cut through the thick canopy of trees; almost seeming to weave together above their heads in order to contain the company. Everything felt closed off and she already knew her sanity was waning the longer they walked.
Eventually night fell upon them, forcing them to stop for the night. "Don't light a fire…there is something out there." Lian gritted out, her teeth clenched with anxiety as her nerves frazzled; every sound, smell or twitch catching her attention.
"We have to light a fire though, how else will we eat?" Bombur complained.
Thorin only took one look at her rigid posture before turning towards the company. "No fire tonight. We'll eat the food that doesn't need to be cooked." A groan came from many of the dwarves but Lian doesn't pay any mind to it as she peered out into the forest.
She would have loved to have lit a fire and have the light chase away the dark but she had a gut feeling that said it would do the complete opposite in the forest. Dark beings dwell here, waiting, lurking for their next prey.
"What do you think is out there?" Thorin spoke for the first time, taking to standing beside her stiff form as she watched the forest.
"Beings I can only wish we don't come close enough to recognize." She murmured, her anxiety keeping her mind from going crazy at the close proximity between her and Thorin, his shoulder barely an inch away from brushing her own. Thorin however was not as distracted by their current situation as she.
"Lian." He said, drawing her attention instantly as she turned to look him straight into his pale eyes. It had not been his general calling of her name that had caught her attention; it was the way he said it. As if he was under a great deal of strain just by saying her name.
"What is it?" She asked, instantly worried by his tone but it didn't stop her heart from quickening its pace and constricting tightly under her breast.
"About before…" He began, trailing off as he tried to grasp the right words.
"We both know nothing happened between us so that's all that matters at the moment. It didn't mean anything." She stated dryly; rather dissatisfied by her own words but she just couldn't bring herself to listen to him say it instead. She knew she'd been too obvious about her feelings for the dwarf, whatever they seemed to be.
Thorin didn't say a word, just stood there until she quietly told him good night; not able to stand the tension between them anymore. As she laid in her bedroll she felt regret for ever involving herself so closely with the dwarf, if she'd only kept a safe distance she wouldn't feel this way. She wouldn't have to be so cold toward Thorin and she wouldn't feel like bursting out in frustrated tears every time she had to snap herself out of her own delusions.
It took a lot of tossing and turning before she finally managed to settle into a restless slumber, her heart aching in her chest as if it were being slowly milked of all happiness.
The next day dragged on the same as when they'd first entered the forest, except the deeper they seemed to go, the more agitated the group became. Several times they have to stop to break up arguments that had suddenly broken out amongst each other. Lian tried to keep her mouth shut mostly but every time the others would say something she'd automatically snap off, she was just as agitated with their wander as the next person. She managed to keep her tongue under control for the most part though; the forest constantly keeping her on edge, as though if she were to divert her eyes for even a moment something horrible would happen.
By the next evening everyone was a mess, staggering and mumbling gibberish to themselves as they walked. Even sleep didn't ease them as they were just as restless as the days were. Suddenly everyone halted. "Why have we stopped?" Thorin growled, beyond unnerved. "The path…it's gone!" Nori answered, panic creeping into his expression.
"What?!" Thorin bellowed, shoving forward to see that the stone path they had been following was cut off by a huge crack in the earth, nothing to be seen in the darkness below.
"Find it! It has to be somewhere around here!" Thorin barked but to no avail, the path was lost to them the second they began wandering away from the old one.
Lian let out a frustrated snarl, slamming her fist against one of the dead trees as a way to vent her anger and agitation. She shook her head, trying to clear her vision of the fog that seemed to cloud over her sight.
"I think I found a way over!" Kili called, pointing towards several vines hanging over a small creak; it looked more like a sewer though.
Bilbo is the first to make it over then followed the rest of the company; it was rather terrifying. It felt like their center of gravity had shifted somehow, everything was unsteady. Bombur was the last to try and make it over but he was only halfway over before he fell in.
"Bombur!" Bofur called but everything felt sluggish, lacking the intended emotion. They hauled the dwarf out of the water, tapping his face a few times to try and wake him but he only let out loud snores. "He's completely out of it." Bofur sighed.
"Blasted dwarf is sleeping!" Dwalin growled. "We'll take turns caring him, we keep moving forward." Thorin snapped in frustration by this new set back.
They hauled the dwarf along, wandering aimlessly through the forest as they grew more and more tense. Eventually night fell on their third day in the forest, forcing them to stop once again for the night.
Lian settled onto a rock away from the company, holding her head in her hands like she seemed to do often since they began their venture through the forest. She felt her leg bounce in anxiously, flexing her jaw as she tried to calm herself.
She'd tried hard to keep her mouth shut as to not cause any more trouble but it was easier said than done. She would be the first to admit that she had been a part of a few of the arguments and even caused some through their travels. She rubbed her face, trying to smooth out the deep creased forming on her face from the constant frowning and furrowing of her brow. She could feel the headache beginning to pound away at her skull already.
"Lian."
She looked up, a bit surprised to see Bilbo in front of her. The hobbit had done a good job in staying in the clear of the angry company, quietly trailing along so his staggering wouldn't annoy anyone.
"What is it ya need, lad?" She asked, sounding tired and much older than when she had first entered this god forsaken hell hole of a forest.
"I wanted to make sure you were alright. I know this place is…unsettling to us all but I don't dare ask the dwarves how they fare in fear of having my head snapped off." He sighed, taking a seat beside her on the dirt floor.
"Gandalf did say that it was full of illusions and such. It's the least we can expect but other than the unnerving circles it feels like we go in; I'm fine. Tired and a bit angry but fine." She patted Bilbo's shoulder.
"You do scare me sometimes. You may be taller but seeing you try and argue with Dwalin is like watching a boar fight a crocodile."
Lian can't help but laugh at this, the image fluttering through her mind's eye despite the foggy cover upon it.
"I've faced bigger but I can't say I've faced meaner, lad. Dwarves are as stubborn as a rock, maybe that's why they prefer to live under one." She chuckled, earning a laugh from the hobbit beside her.
"I don't think they'd be happy to hear you say that." He mused lightly before stiffening.
"Lian." Thorin all but growled out, catching her attention successfully as Bilbo basically slunk away from the pair; sensing the brewing storm between them.
"You seem to be quite close with Master Baggins." He hissed.
"And what of it? I didn't know that we suddenly have to keep a strictly business relationship with one another." She glared, pissed off by his tone and manner of speaking to her.
"I don't need you fooling around with our burglar while on this journey." Thorin spat almost in disgust. Lian's eyes widen at his sudden accusation, utterly appalled that he would think that of her. Bilbo was like a brother she never had, he was even at times like a doting mother and the thought of seeing him more was modifying.
"Ya arrogant, narrow minded jackass! Bilbo and I are nothing more than friends and I can assure ya that even if we were more it would be none of yer business! The volume of her voice increased until she was basically screeching, red edging her vision in her rage.
They had successfully caught everyone's attention as she moved to storm away but Thorin roughly grabbed her upper arm, abruptly spinning her back around.
"It is plenty of my business what goes on in my company! I'm the one that has to look out for them." He hissed, glaring holes into her very being and she met it without much of a challenge.
"And accusing me of whoring is doing just that? Great tactic there, very classy." She sneered, wincing a bit when she felt his grip tighten painfully around her arm.
"You will show me respect, woman! I lead this company and if I wish I could easily leave you here." He warned her lowly, his warm breath dusting over Lian's cheek, sending an involuntary shiver down her spine as her nose filled with his earthy scent.
"I give no respect to those who don't give me any." She spat out before jerking her arm violently away, nearly shoving past him to the very edges of their camp sight. Barely in sight of the company as she settled upon the forest floor, once again placing her face in her hands.
Finally she had a bit of peace to herself, letting quiet sobs shake her form in frustration; wishing that they'd just get out of this place already. Unaware was she to the prying eyes of Thorin in the distant, catching her sobs faintly through the air.
The next day Bombur finally awoke, mumbling about food which only served to make the dwarves angry.
"You're not the only one hungry, you buffoon!" Dwalin growled out causing the company to begin to bicker. Lian was no better, snapping at Gloin when he accused her of eating more than her share of food.
"Is there no end to this accursed forest?!" Thorin yelled into the trees, followed by the nonsense of Ori finding his own tobacco pouch and thinking it to be another dwarfs.
"We're lost!" Lian snapped, throwing her bag to the ground rather harshly. "There is nowhere to go, no way to get out of this forsaken forest!"
"We keep heading East, how can we possibly be lost?" Throin growled out. "I don't know, maybe yer navigation skills aren't as great as ya claim." She mocked, sending the dwarfs temper flaring.
"Do not mock me, woman! I should just leave you behind to wander on your own if you find me so incapable!" Thorin spat venomously.
"Maybe then I wouldn't have to deal with yer poor attitude!" She lashed out, sending an uproar as the company argued.
"Stop! Stop!" Bilbo hollered, gaining the companies attention. "We need to stop arguing and find the sun, if we climb one of these trees I'm sure we can see where we are." Bilbo reasoned.
They stopped arguing, mulling over the hobbit's voice of reason before looking expectantly towards the hobbit; who let out a heavy sigh. "Of course it has to be me." He grumbled as he began his travel up the nearest tree, grabbing thick vines and branches to pull him up.
Lian huffed before taking a seat on one of the over sized roots, trying to calm her frazzled nerves.
She felt suffocated, the thick air weighing down on her as the trees almost close in on her from all sides, cornering her into insanity. She pressed her face into her hands, taking deep breathes to try and block out her surroundings. Breath, she told herself, trying to regain any sense that wasn't drained from her.
Slowly she calmed a little, her thoughts trying to clear through the haze of her mind when she felt a heavy feeling settle upon her. She looked up, eyes sharper than before as she scanned the forest line, standing quickly from her position.
"Quiet!" She bellowed to the grumbling dwarves, hearing a distinct snap from the surrounding trees that sent her stomach into knots.
"We don't take orders from you." Oin hissed.
"I said quiet! There is something watching us." She snapped, slowly turning to look for the creature lurking in the shadows. "You're delusional, lass. There's nothing out here but us-." Dori began but is cut off, falling to the ground motionless.
"Dori!" Nori cried before he too fell to the forest floor. "Form a group!" Thorin suddenly cried, pushing his nephews into the circle they quickly formed. "I don't see them, where are the-." Dwalin dropped.
Bombur is the next to drop then Balin, Bofur, Fili, Oin, Ori, Dwalin, Bifur and Gloin; almost like a chain reaction. "Stay behind me Kili!" Thorin growled, pressing himself closely against Kili, dark creatures appearing from the shadows of the forest, moving closer towards the last of them with forms obscured with a haze.
"They're too many; they have the advantage on us." Lian panted, adrenaline racing through her as she tried to take in all of her surroundings at once.
"Just keep clos-." Thorin began but he's cut off by Lian flopping to the ground before him, hair splayed over the forest floor. Kili fell mere moments after and before Thorin could even pull his sword; he fell.
Thorin's feelings right now:
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)