Healing is a slow, miserable, painful, emotional, annoying, tiring and frightening process.

It had been five weeks since the fire, and here you were laying on your bed. The doctors told you to move your left arm and shoulder as little as possible, and to try to keep anything from rubbing against your upper left side of your back. That part of your body would be marred forever, but fortunately your arm would still be able to function as if nothing ever happened. Your face had slight burns, which would be gone in a few weeks, but it still stung with the left over heat. The rest of you was fine, besides two broken bones that had healed. You weren't worried about the bodily damage; you'd dealt with physical pain many times in your life.

What bothered you the most was your memories of that night: searing flames inches from your face, striking out at your left side, biting and tearing at your flesh. The scent of burnt hair and plastic, the feel of glass in your skin... You had terrible flash backs of those moments, replaying themselves in your mind for hours on end. Of course, you couldn't scream to let anyone know the emotional pain you were in; you would simply lay in your room, crying and cringing from the images in your head.

Not only these things, but one more: survivor's guilt. Technically, you had been responsible for the death of Tadashi.

Flashback

You heard voices hovering over you. Then they were at your left, then your right... you knew the one on your right. It made you happy and sad at the same time. Your nose burned from the scent of alcohol, mixed with other chemicals. Then you were on your stomach, and someone was rubbing something cold on your back... or was it hot? You didn't care, you were too tired. You tried to ask for a cold pack for your back, but no one would answer you. You couldn't see anything... were you blind now?

"... didn't make... nothing left... they'll both be... Jude's Cemetery."

You blinked. Was that... hair? You knew that hair... Hiro?

He looked at you worriedly. "Did you hear me?"

You shook your head. What... what's going on?

"You just asked me..." he stopped talking, choking on a word. "You don't remember just talking to me?"

No, I just woke up, didn't I?

He stared at you. "You've been up for about thirty minutes now. Granted you were half asleep, but I thought - " he paused, staring at you with sorrow.

What, Hiro? you asked. You thought I was what?

Hiro's lips quivered, before tears began to spill over his cheeks. "I thought I had lost you." he leaned his face into the crook of your neck, wrapping an arm around you. "I thought you were gone. We didn't find you until two hours after the explosion, and even then..." he couldn't go on, as he broke down in sobs.

You softly hushed him, slowly moving your right arm to his back. You grabbed a fistful of his hair; you dreaded thinking that you would never be able to touch him again, to hear his voice. If you had died that night, you would have gone without a goodbye, or an I love you.

It's ok, I'm right here. I'm not leaving for a long time. You rubbed his back softly, feeling the tears roll onto his shirt.

"The doctors said you would wake up, but... you were asleep for so long... I thought I had lost you too."

You pulled back, shocked. Too? you asked. What do you mean? Hiro, what happened?

Hiro looked at you, his eyes red and puffy. You saw the pain in his eyes, remembering whatever had taken place the night of the fire. He inhaled, with his breath staggering and sharp. The tears kept spilling down both of your faces; Hiro was clutching your uninjured hand tightly, as if you would fly away from him at any second. You reassured him by holding his sweaty hand back.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "It's Tadashi... he's... he's gone."

The moment that Hiro had delivered the horrible news to you, only two thoughts came into your head. First, Tadashi was forever gone from this world. Second, it was all because of you.

You offered to go to the funeral with Hiro, hoping to pass on support to him. However, standing there, in front of the tombstone as the overcast sky growled, you only felt guilt within you. Tadashi went into the building, looking for you. He had been burned alive to save you. And it was all for nothing. You felt as though you were the murderer of a crime, showing up to the funeral to look innocent. Standing next to the relative of the deceased, when really, your hands were covered in the deceased's blood.

You came back to reality as you received a text from your best friend Gogo: Any word from Hiro? He didn't answer our video message. I can only imagine that he'd talk to you.

Your thumbs flew across the screen of your Iphone. No, nothing. I've called him about 100 times, but he won't answer. Idk what to do.

You honestly didn't know how to get Hiro to start living again. You had gone to the cafe, asking Cass about his behavior. She said the same thing every time: "I wouldn't be able to tell you; he hasn't come downstairs in forever."

The messages to Hiro in your phone were endless. He hadn't replied to any of them in four weeks. The last one he said was, I should have followed him in there. I should have stopped him.

Suddenly, your mother opened your door. You both looked at each other silently. She had been just as worried about Hiro as you were. You shook your head, indicating the 'no news' factor to her. She sighed.

"Alright. Well, your father and I are going to Aunt Julie's for the weekend. Cass said she would be happy to have you over for the next three nights, so if you want to check up on him, you've got plenty of time. We'll call every day." She paused when she saw you looking at your feet. "Honey, are you ok?"

You shook your head. She walked over and sat next to you, carefully taking you in her arms. You hugged her back, ignoring the sore feeling in your left arm. You began to cry, thanking life for letting you live to see your mother again, to feel her warm touch on your head, to feel the vibrations of her voice in your chest. You never knew how much you actually appreciated her love until you had knocked on death's door and come back.

"Honey," she said, rocking you back and forth, "I know everything looks bad right now. But time can repair anything, heal everything. You just need to be there for the people you love, and they'll be there for you."

You pulled back and smiled at her. She brushed a stray hair out from your face before kissing you on the forehead. "I love you. Call me or your father if anything changes." You signed a quick goodbye to her as she walked out the door.

You fell back into your pillow and sighed. You knew you hear from Hiro before your parents came back. The last time you had seen him was at the funeral reception; he was sitting at the top of the stairs with you, not seeming to know you were even there. You had seen a tear fall slowly from his cheek, and you tried to brush it away. As soon as your finger touched his skin, he stood up and left you side, locking himself in his room. A strange pain caved in your chest when you heard the click of the doorknob, as if he had taken a part of you, and wasn't planning on returning it anytime soon.

You were snuggled up in one of his black sweatshirts he had given you a month after your relationship started. It still had some marks on the chest of black grease when he was helping fix Tadashi's bike. It smelled like gasoline and alcohol, smells that made you nostalgic, but none the less gave you a headache. There was a hole on the edge of the left sleeve, made by Hiro from picking at it too much. You were trying to think of all the punctures and stains he had put on the sweatshirt, trying to keep your mind off of the guilt and heartache.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed. You picked it up, with the caller ID reading Baymax. At first you were confused, but then you realized it might be Hiro. You answered with a small click of your tongue as greeting.

"Hello. I am Baymax." you sighed when the voice wasn't the one you were hoping for. "I am calling on behalf of - Hiro. He is going through stress from the loss of a loved one, and this is causing his hormones to react negatively in his body. His neurotransmitter levels are - low, and he needs support from - friends and family to boost these levels. I have contacted you and other - friends to help him. Thank you, and goodbye."

You hung up when the call ended, surprised that Hiro would activate Baymax at at time like this. You had expected that he would continue to sulk in his room until Cass had dragged him out, forcing him to hang out with you or the others. Even so, you knew something had happened in order for Baymax to activate, so you decided that it was necessary to give him and Hero a visit.

You threw on a pair of skinny jeans and Greek Fire t shirt, slipping on your favorite converse. You texted Wasabi to stop by your house to pick you up. you weren't sure if you were supposed to be worried or not, since Baymax was with Hiro, but there was still a twinge of fear in you. You sat on your front steps and waited for the little tan car to show up for you.