A/N: Bear with me here, this chapter was one of the hardest to write, You'll soon see why.

A week and a half later...

Life on the island had settled into a routine. For the most part, the survivors cooperated in making the best of their situation by sharing their labor and skills for everyone's benefit.

There was little room for selfishness. In fact, most people found ways to be helpful without being asked. Case in point, Claire had an abundance of helping hands which allowed her to sail through those early post-postpartum days without much trouble considering that little Aaron did not sleep like a proverbial baby: his naps lasted ten minutes at the most and tended to wake up at the slightest provocation.

But then Claire came down with a mysterious illness (everyone hoped it was just a virus) which left her unable to care for Aaron.

In an interesting twist of fate, Olivia found herself helping with the baby practically around the clock and bringing it to Claire a couple of times a day for nursing. Furthermore, Aaron expressed in no uncertain terms a clear preference for Olivia's arms. Olivia felt flattered and overwhelmed all at once. While it was wonderful being so fiercely needed by someone so sweet and helpless, it was still humbling to realize that someone so small had the power to rule your world. And the thing was that he wasn't even her child. Some days, she actually looked forward to handing him over to his mother (once she was well again). At other times, she thought she would be hopelessly heartbroken once that day finally came. It seemed though that early motherhood was a roller-coaster of emotions and that the best way to cope was to accept those mixed feelings rather than judge yourself too harshly.

One morning, Fitz came back to his tent to find Olivia sitting indian style holding Aaron across to her chest, humming a lullaby.

Fitz stretched his long, strong body alongside her, propping his head on one elbow. He studied her, utterly relaxed and fascinated as the baby slept peacefully attached to her breast. Her expression was soft, tender and her skin glowed due to something he couldn't quite describe...

I'm pregnant, she said in her head, casting Fitz a long glance. Yet the words had refused to form in her lips. She supposed it was normal to have ambivalent feelings considering this was an unplanned pregnancy. Still, for the most part her maternal instincts had kicked in in a way she could not have anticipated.

"You shouldn't..." he spoke in a quiet voice referring to her nursing. "Umm..You ought to fight some other way of soothing him..."

"Claire it's okay with this, " Olivia reassured him in a hushed tone as to not wake the baby. She took a deep breath. At first, bringing the baby to her breast had been to comfort his sucking instinct and his piercing cries which she had found hard to bear. But now some milk had actually started coming in. "Whenever he's awake all he wants to do is nurse, " she explained. "And with Claire being sick...she really can't..."

"Okay, I understand...but still... " he cut in. Actually he didn't quite understand although he supposed it was a good thing that someone was taking care of the baby. So he said the only thing that made sense. "You might get too attached to this baby," he warned. He tilted his head as he gave the matter further thought. He was thinking that Olivia would make a great mother one day which unexpectedly made her even more alluring and attractive in his eyes than she already was.

In fact, he had always thought of sensuality and maternal feelings in a woman as unrelated polar opposites that could not co-exist. For one, Mellie had been unable (unwilling, actually) to nurse their daughter. In spite of all the evidence supporting breast-milk as the healthiest thing for an infant, Mellie had insisted that nursing cramped her style. Furthermore, his soon-to-be ex-wife actually went as far as to hire a live-in wet nurse for baby Karen which initially drew shock waves among their circle of friends. Although, some of Mellie's air-headed/tongue-in-cheek friends eventually got caught up with this 'new trend.'

Olivia's face dropped. She knew Fitz was right. In fact, she was already quite attached to little Aaron. "I'll stop as soon as Claire gets better."

Seeing the change in her expression almost made him wish he'd kept his mouth shut. "Hey," he sat up and leaned closer to brush her lips with his.

She moaned, every nerve in her body blissfully responding as he started trailing kisses down her neck. "Fitz," she sighed, rolling her neck to the side to give him better access while at the same time, trying not to shift her body too much as it might wake the baby.

Right then they heard a male voice outside the tent calling for Fitz.

With a sigh and a roll of the eyes, Fitz stepped out of the tent to see who was calling

Olivia chewed her lower lip. She had to tell him about the baby (not this baby, THEIR baby). I'll just wait for the right time, she reasoned. After all, she knew better than anyone that timing was everything. She just hoped that he would react positively.

The circumstances are all wrong, another voice inside her viciously reminded her. It's all so sudden, you really have no idea how he'll react...

FLASHBACK

Note: continued from Olivia's previous flashback, chapter 17. Keep in mind that Olivia is only fifteen.

The next day...

Olivia sat slouched on the couch munching on treats in front of the TV, staring unseeing at the theater sized flat screen. She was surrounded by her friends Anika, Jenny, Quinn and Abby. Just like Olivia, Anika and Jenny attended Ethel Warker School in Connecticut and were also home for the summer. Quinn and Abby had been her friends since her babyhood as they lived in the same neighborhood.

"This is just sooooo sad," Jenny cried as the last scene of The Titanic played on the screen.

"I know...why did he have to die?" Abby remarked referring to Leonardo DiCaprio. "He's so hot..." she lamented.

"This is sooooo romantic," Quinn chimed in. "The ultimate sacrifice. To give your life for the one you love..."

Right then, Olivia felt sick to her stomach and dashed off to the nearest bathroom.

By the time Olivia came back to re-join the group, the closing credits had finished rolling.

"You're life is sooo officially over," Abby pronounced shaking her head and pursing her lips, giving Olivia an 'I- just- don't- get- it' look.

"I still can't believe it, Liv!" Anika said. "Oh, gosh... I was the one voted most likely to get knocked up before my senior year, remember?" she glanced at her friends, looking for confirmation. "But it looks like Liv here beat me to the punch."

The girls ignored Anika's comment.

"What I wanna know is what happened...yesterday you were so happy," Jenny said with concern. "What happened last night at the party?"

Olivia took a deep breath and sniffed trying to hold back the tears. Last night had been the worst of her entire life. After spending the day hanging out with James, Olivia had waited until everyone was asleep to sneak out to her boyfriend's house and crash the most popular party in town. Most of the kids were high school seniors and much older than Olivia.

Olivia slid into the passenger seat of the red Porsche giddy with anticipation, feeling particularly lucky to be Ross' girlfriend. "I have something to tell you," she had whispered in his ear. Earlier in the day she had taken a pregnancy test that had turned out positive. Even though it had certainly been an accident, she was sure that Ross would be happy. After all, he had repeatedly told her he loved her and wanted to marry her one day. "I'll tell you later, after the party" she had said wanting to build his sense of anticipation.

Once they were at the party, Ross had actually been the one surprising Olivia by ignoring her, hanging out with his obnoxious friends and getting stone-drunk. "You're no fun!" Ross had said with disdain when Olivia had refused to drink any alcohol. Feeling out of place and disappointed at her boyfriend's immature behavior, Olivia had tried to get him to take her back home.

Instead, Ross had pulled a disappearing act. She looked for him for what seemed like hours, as the place was packed with rowdy, out of control teenagers.

Presently, Olivia looked at Jenny looking for some emotional support. "I found him...with his ex...at the party." That was all she could manage to say. The four girls stared at her wide-eyed and waited for her to elaborate.

"Umm...Liv, Did you tell him...about the baby?" Quinn asked once the silence in the room got too overbearing.

Olivia shook her head, hugging a cushion tight to her chest, her body curled up into a fetal position. It was as though she was still in a state of profound shook.

"Oh, GOOD! Don't tell him!" Abby screeched. "That Son-of-a-bitch doesn't deserve you, Liv!."

"We'll blow out his tires," Anika said. "And write nasty messages on his Facebook page. "

"Oh, Livvie," Jenny said putting her arm around her shoulder in a compassionate gesture. I'm so...SO sorry."

"We need to look at the bigger picture here, "Quinn have Anika a disapproving look. "Let's not forget...now Olivia is stuck...what will she do now? I know, lots of girls today do have babies and some even go to college, you know. But, really... let's think...what will her dad do when he finds out? " her eyes widened dramatically to make her point. Heck, she'd probably even get kicked out of her little boarding school...and will have to go to one of those awful schools for pregnant drop-outs...where they smack you with a ruler if you don't know your multiplication tables."

"We're not in the middle ages, Crazy Sue!" Abby sneered at Quinn. "Girls are no longer shipped off to special schools like lepers...just cause they happen to be pregnant. " She shook her head. "And just for the record, the smacking with rulers were way back in the days of Laura Ingalls Wilder...if that ever happened nowadays, I tell you..."

"Of course, of course, Miss know-it-all!" Quinn snorted, shaking her head in mock deference to Abby.

In response, Abby threw a cushion at Quinn who retaliated by flinging another cushion at Abby.

"Uh, I don't think none of this is helping," Jenny stated, trying to stay clear of the pillow fight.

"How could I have been so stupid?" Olivia suddenly wailed, startling her four friends. The pillow fight was instantly over."How, how?" she held her temples with the palms of her hands in a desperate gesture as reality hit her with the force of a hurricane. It was as though her brain had suddenly woken from a long comatose state. How could she have given in and let him get away with NOT using protection, accepted his lame excuse that it 'just did not feel natural'. Heck, he'd even sweet talked her into thinking that he would be by her side no matter what happened...and that it would be okay since they would get married once she graduated from high school.

She had wanted to believe in her boyfriend's promises more than anything. And then when the stick turned positive, she had romanticized the situation; convinced herself that it would actually be great to have a child of her own, give it all the love and attention she never got... and who would love her back unconditionally (although she didn't become fully aware of this last part until many years later). Both of her parents had been too wrapped up in their own careers when she was young and then to put the icing on the proverbial cake, she felt abandoned once again when she lost her mother a few years ago.

But of course, she had never expected for her dreams to come tumbling down like a house of cards.

"Livvie, Livvie, what are you thinking?" Jenny asked somehow sensing that Olivia who had grown quiet again was in the midst of making a crucial decision. "What are you gonna do...?"

A/N:

About Olivia nursing Claire's baby. In most developed nations and particularly in the United States, nursing a child other than one's own is often seen as culturally squeamish. Under ordinary circumstances, Olivia would have never considered it, but extraordinary circumstances do often require extraordinary measures. Often, in this story, I've tried to explore what it would be like to no longer be able to rely on our modern conveniences and devices which limit our connection to others? What will we do when all we have is our selves (knowledge, feelings) and our human instincts to guide us?

Wet nurses:

The practice is ancient and common to many cultures. It has been linked to social class wherein monarchies, nobility or upper social classes regularly employed wet nurses.

Following the widespread marketing and availability of artificial baby milk, or or infant formula wet nursing went into decline after World War II and fell out of style in the affluence of the mid-1950s. Wet nurses are no longer considered necessary in developed nations and, therefore, are no longer common.