It's time. Step after step, I make my way into the airport. It's has been two years now ever since I caught Emily cheating on me with Alison.
I'm not the only one.
I press hard in the gas and speed my way home. I run out if my car, because the slower I am, the more I want to fall. Fall; and just break down in one spot, and never get back up. The pain travels everywhere in my body and everything is crumbling down.
I need to get out of here. I don't want to be here.
I take a suitcase luggage and throw it on top of my bed. I open my drawer, rapidly, throwing all my clothes into it. As I shove everything in it together, my head throbs more and more.
Is this how it feels? To just be so madly in love, that you'd ignore bad signs? And then one day get your heart stomped? Is this how it feels?
A shout comes on out my mouth. Curses after curses. Pain after pain.
Breathe. Hanna. Breathe.
I feel myself calm. I look around, my rooms a mess. The drawer is half open, the luggage couldn't close, and my whole life is a mess. She was my life.
My mom wasn't so happy about the plan of me leaving, but a beg after beg, she said yes. I been staying with my grandmother in Oklahoma. I told myself, that when I was ready, I'd come back. I finished high school here, meeting some great people along the way. But the collage plans were always set at home, so I didn't go to collage just yet. I changed most of my image. I threw out most of the 'girlyness' in me that made me Alison 2.0. I dyed streaks of my hair black, and I started having a more 'rocker' look, but at least I was happy knowing that I'm not a person that I used to be. Or was that really me?
It's summer time right now. Before I left, I received dozens after dozens of phone calls and text messages from Emily. It's been two years, and I haven't spoken to her since that night.
"Hanna!" I see my mom. She looks like she's going to tackle me. I have open arms and she runs into them. She's hugging me so tight.
"Mom- Please-" I say, getting out of breath. This woman is going to kill me at the airport.
"I missed you so much, sweetie" She smiles.
"I missed you too, mom" I smile back. Time to go home. Am I ready?
Going back in my room brings back too many memories. The good and the bad. "Did you call your friends, yet Han? I bet Spencer and Aria would be glad to hear that you're here!" My mom said with a joyful tone as she walks into my room.
"Uh, I haven't called anyone" I say, awkwardly.
"Call. Two years without your best friends? Emily would probably like to see you too?" She suggested. She never knew the real reason why I wanted to leave. All she knows is that I wanted to go to leave and live with my grandma, because I wanted to make sure I was there for grandma's old years just in case. She also believes that Emily and I broke up because of the long distance.
"Maybe" I said
She leaves my room and I look down my phone. Should I call? At least call Spencer or Aria? Maybe I should surprise them? Usually on the first day of summer, Aria and Spencer would go to the Grille together at 7. Hopefully things hadn't changed.
I look from the window first. Yup, things haven't changed much. Spencer still looks like a dork and Aria still wore her "fork" earrings. Before I walk inside, I take a deep breath. I walk in, and as I walk towards behind them, I feel myself smiling. They are the best, and I haven't seen them in so long. This feeling is great. It feels like home.
"Geese quack" I said from behind them.
"Actually geese honk-" Spencer was saying before she turned around. Her and Aria's mouths drop.
"You're-"
"I'm back" I cut Aria off. Spencer stands up first and pulls me in for a hug. Aria stands up, wow she's still small, and wraps her arms around me for a tight hug.
After they were done examining me, they sit back down and frown.
"What? You guys were happy, literally a second ago" I said
"You never said goodbye." Spencer crosses her arms.
"Shut up and be happy that I'm here. I'll explain later" I smile.
Aria puts a smile back on and Spencer gives a laugh. I hear footsteps coming from my right. Spencer stops laughing and looks to the right, and Aria doing the same. I turn to the right. My smile fades away.
Emily.
She looks at me from head to toe. "You're back.." She softly said
"Hi" I put up a weak smile. Suddenly my heart beats faster and faster. She looks different. She looks way more beautiful then she was. Her hair was longer and the less makeup she wore, shows her true beauty-. I can't be thinking this. Not after that night. Let it go, Hanna. I try to tell myself
Awkward silence.
"Well, I should go home. See you guys later" I wave goodbye as I start walking off. I push the door open and walk to my car. I unlock the car door and drive straight home.
After two years, she still has an effect on me.
There's a knock on my door. I look at the time, it's 10am. Usually my mom leaves out the door at this time. Maybe she let someone in? I open my room door and see her. Standing right in front of me.
"Can I come in?" She said
I step aside and let her in. She walks inside and I close the door. "What are you doing here?" I ask
"I'm sorry, Hanna. I just .. You never called or sent a text back, and I just felt like I should say it in person-"
"Emily. It's been two years," I cut her off. "I'm fine now, it's okay" lies.
"Okay, fine," she said, "But listen about that night-"
"I don't want to hear it, Emily," I cut her off. She looks at me with a sad look on her face, "The past is in the past, okay?" I softly say.
Her head drops slowly, "Yea.. Yea okay"
"Em, I just really hope we can start over and just be friends, like we used to be" I said. But now to think of it, is that even the truth? Is that even what I want? Just looking at us now, reminds me of the time of our first kiss. It was right here. We were just two shy people, finding a affection and didn't stop it.
"Hey.." She slowly says as she walks inside my room. I look at her head to toe. She wore her blue/black varsity jacket with her light blue denim jeans. She looks, maybe, timid. Just looking at her in front of me, makes my heart race.
"What are you going here?" I ask. It was 11:30pm.
"Han, do you like me?" She breathes out. I look at her with my eyes widen. How did she know?!
"N- No.." I quickly say with a stutter. She gazes at me and then her eyes look down to my lips. She puts on a sly smile.
"You stuttered," She said. She knows when I lie. Damn, stuttering.
"No, I didn't" I lied.
"Yes you did," She said as she takes a step closer to me.
"No.." I softly said as her face is so close to mine. I feel her hot breath as I forget how to breathe.
"Liar" She said. Before I could say anything, she presses her lips against mine. My eyes open widely. I see nothing but her head, and that's when it hit me. She's kissing me right now. I slowly close my eyes and kiss back. Her lips taste like cherries. I wrap my arms around her neck and I feel her deepen the kiss. We pull away shortly for air.
We stare at each other in a way we never looked at each other before. She bites down her bottom lip and smiles at me.
"Yea, we can just be friends. If that's what you want" She said.
Then she left.
Leaving nothing but memories, as we stood right here, in this exact spot.
My mom left a list on the table of food and other things, with a note saying, 'I have work, can you pick up the groceries for me? Love you, -mom'. I place the note down and sigh. I don't even want to go out. People made mattresses for a reason.
I get inside my car and drive off to the food market.
I get a shopping cart and roam around the store to find the things on the list of groceries I had to pick up. I stare at the snacks on my left as I walk with my cart, not looking ahead of me.
Oreos sounds good right now. I reach out for a pack, and then out of nowhere I hit something with my cart. "Sorry" Was the first thing I said. I look up and see the familiar face. "Caleb?" I smile. It's been so long since I seen him. The last time I talked to him was when I broke up with him, when I realized that my mind was set on someone else.
"Caleb.." I slowly say, with tears falling from my eyes. I drove all the way to his house, without thinking. But I have to do this.
"Hanna? What's wrong?" He said as he let me inside. I sit down on his couch he sits beside me, with his arm over my shoulder for comfort.
"I'm sorry, Caleb" I said.
"What? Sorry for what?" He asks, very worried
"I.. I think I might be.." I slowly fade. I look into his eyes and I have to say it. I have to say it out loud for me to maybe believe it, "I'm gay"
But thinking about it now, maybe I was never gay. I only been with one person of the same sex, which was Emily. Thinking about all this, made me realize that I hurt him. A lot. If the feeling of seeing Emily cheating on me was a fatal pain, how did Caleb feel when I broke up with him?
"You're back!" He said as he walks to me and gives me a friendly hug. "I thought you were gone forever" He laughs
Hearing his laugh again, gives me a happy feeling inside. "Well, I'm back" I said
He looks at me with eyes full of happiness. "Do you want to get a cup of coffee later?" He asks
My lips curve into a smile. "Yea. I would love too"
Emily's Pov
Seeing Hanna for the first time in years, suddenly gave me some type of energy. The type of energy to find something that was lost. Love. But she wants to stay as friends, which I can't do. After everything kiss, moment, and pain that I gave her? We can't be friends. I want her back.
"Hey, invite Hanna!" Aria said to Spencer. Right now we were all having a sleep over at Spencer's. We always have these, but since Hanna left, things weren't the same. Spencer and Aria knows what I did, because I told them while Hanna left. They were confused on why she had left.
"Hanna went to live with her grandmother in Oklahoma" Ms. Marin's words stabbed me like a knife.
"Okay, thank you, Ms. Marin" I said. I turn around and head towards to Spencer's car.
"Is she home?" Aria asks from the car window.
I get inside the car in the back seat and said nothing. "Em?" Spencer turns around and looks at me, worried.
"She left" My voice cracks
"Left?" Aria asks
"She's gone" I said, "She's with her Nana in Oklahoma."
"Why? Without saying goodbye?" Spencer said, confused
"Do you know why she left Em?" Aria asks. All these questions are irritating.
"She left because I cheated on her with Alison!" I snap.
Their jaws dropped. Aria was stunned but Spencer was angry.
"What?!" Spencer said
"Spence-"
"No, Emily. She loved you so much, how could you do that to her?" She cuts me off. The anger in me rises. I open the car door and slammed it shut. "I'll just walk home." I roll my eyes.
"Emily, get back-" I hear Aria but her voice fades away as Spencer drives off.
Ever since then, things weren't the same. They managed to forgive me, but I know there's somewhere in Spencer that still looks at me differently.
"Yea, I'll call her" Spencer smiles as she has her phone on her ear. "Han, do you want to sleep over, like old times?.. Okay, great! See you soon" And with that she hangs up. Spencer walks into the kitchen and pours herself a cup of coffee.
Aria looks over to me and asks, "How are you?"
"I'm fine." Nope. Nope I'm not.
"Liar." She said, then rests her hand on my shoulder, "Things will go back to normal, I swear" She gives a warm smile and I pace my hand on top of hers and nod.
It's 9:06pm and there's a knock on the door. Spencer opens it and smiles big. It was Hanna. They give each other a big hug and there's something I haven't seen in Hanna in a long time
Happiness. Something is up with her. She was 5x happier then seeing Spencer and Aria at the Grille. So what is up with her?
"Someone looks ecstatic" Spencer said behind Hanna. Hanna jumps on the couch and lays there.
"I'm just happy, what's wrong with that?" Hanna said as she kinks her eyebrows. Shit. I know that look. I stared down at my cup of coffee pretending not to listen at the kitchen counter.
"I know that look!" Aria shouts. I look up at them and wait for the answer. Spencer and Aria look at her and their faces look like there was a light bulb lit on top of their heads.
"What are you smiling about, Han?" Spencer asks. I look into Spencer's fridge and eavesdrop. This is the night where we were going to tell Spencer and Aria that Hanna and I are together.
"I can't be happy?" Hanna jokes as she kinks her eyebrows. Spencer and Aria give each other a confused look. "Okay don't freak out.." Hanna slowly says as I walk into the living room and gaze at Hanna. She smiles at me.
"You guys are.." Spencer's eyes widen
"I knew it! Spence, you owe me!" Aria shouts
"What?" Hanna and I say in unison.
"I just ran into Caleb that's all" She softly said, looking down at her hands. Caleb?! My jaw clenches as I try my best not to look up and pretend to be doing something on my phone.
"And.." Spencer said, waiting for Hanna to say more.
"And we just had coffee, that's it" She laughs
Just hearing her laugh and be happy again, makes me happy for her. Though the thing that hurts is that someone else is making her happy instead of me. And I lost that position in her life, a long time ago.
Long chap! Thanks for all the reviews! It means a lot. The first part to this story was just the beginning. A lot will be explained soon
And there's a bunch coming your way. Like Alison and Emison. Plus, I changed the story title, to 'The Only One' since it's a story now. There's going to be flashback that show how things were and now. I really really hope you guys like it. Follow for the next chapter and review!