Disclaimer: I do not own Spice and Wolf or any of its characters.
"Is she going to be alright?" Lawrence directed the question towards the physician, who had finished treating Horo's wound.
"Well, the wound isn't that serious, so her life is not in danger. I applied some herbal paste over it, which will lessen the pain and allow faster healing. She also got a fever, but it should go down by the next day." The physician packed up his instruments and placed them inside a silvery toolbox.
"I'm going to take my leave now, Mr. Lawrence, since it's already deep into the night. If you need me, just contact Catherin. Do you have any questions or concerns you would like to ask me before I leave?"
"No, thank you for your help, and I am sorry for bothering you at this hour of the night." Lawrence shook the man's hand, and offered him a praise of gratitude. It was already well past the working hours for doctors, and he was probably getting ready to go to bed until the theatre called him here to treat a person.
"No problem, its part of my job after all." The physician bid farewell to him, and made his way towards door, where Myuri was talking to some of the theatre staff.
The room became uncomfortably silent, only indistinguishable soft whispers of the conversations outside of the room were heard. Even though it was the middle of the night, where everyone should be in bed sleeping, the theatre was active and noisy like the marketplace at noon. It couldn't be helped, since thanks to their perilous adventure of infiltrating the Hienado Company, the theatre now had the weapons they need to shut down the company.
However, it wasn't going to be easy. The church would obviously not plan on letting this go without any kind of counter-offensive, and their first suspect would be their rival, the theatre.
Somehow, a simple bandit problem had turn into a full-scale politic war between the church and the theatre. Whoever acted first would mostly likely emerge victorious in this war. And to make matters worse, Lawrence was once again stuck in the middle of the conflict that he had no intention of getting involved in from the start.
They were not in the safe zone yet, and quite contrary, their situation was pretty dangerous. His original plan was to complete this deal, and get out of this town immediately. However, that plan could not be carried out right now, since Horo was injured because of him. If they got caught by the church, it would mean capital punishment. He also could no longer rely on Horo to transform into her wolf form to escape, since she was currently in no state of doing anything taxing to her body for at least a week.
From a different perspective, Lawrence felt like he had had once again dug his own grave. He already lost count of the number of times he had messed himself over, and laughed at that fact.
"Out of the frying pan and into the fire." He muttered.
Lawrence sat on a wooden chair next to the sleeping Horo. Behind him was a table with a small flickering candle that dimly lit the room. He stared at the person sleeping beside him, she was sweating a lot. He took out a handkerchief from his coat pocket, and swiped the sweat from her face.
He started to brainstorm a method that could ensure their safety. His body was motionless like Horo, as he entered into a state of deep thought.
He was brought back to his senses when someone tapped his right shoulder, which also startled him. He quickly looked to his right, and Myuri stood beside him carrying a platter containing a cup of water and some rye bread.
"Oh, you're quite jumpy." Myuri remarked as she put down the platter on the table behind him.
"You scared me, ever heard of knocking?" Lawrence was surprised at how Myuri stealthily managed approach him without him noticing. Even though he was in deep thought, he would still be able notice the presence of people around him, a skill that every experienced merchant had. He can sometime even feel the stares from people sitting at other tables. However, for Myuri, she was quick and silent, like a wolf.
''I'm sorry; the door was opened, so I just came in. Besides, you seemed to have a troubled expression on your face, so I thought I give a pat on the back. By the way, if you are troubled over the fact whether the medical cost is going to come out of your reward, don't worry; you are only partially paying for it." Myuri half-joking said.
"Of course I'm not worried over that. But wait, what do you mean I'm partially paying for it?" Lawrence merchant instincts caught on. He hadn't even thought that this treatment was going to cost him.
"It was a joke; you don't need to put on that serious face. I guess once you become a merchant, you will always think a merchant." Myuri laughed.
Lawrence did not notice he had unintentionally put on a merchant expression on his face.
"I don't understand her." He thought to himself.
However, his mood got a little lighter for some unknown reason. And seeing Myuri laughing in front of him, he could not help but laugh alongside her.
Myuri pulled up a chair, and sat next to Lawrence.
"It's entirely my fault." Lawrence solemnly said.
"Hmm?" Myuri looked questionably at him.
"What are you sorry about? She was always reckless, and I'm pretty sure she willingly did this to save you." Her crimson eyes stared at Lawrence, as if she was trying to discover something.
"But you are an interesting man, do you know? She would only throw away her own personal safety to save another person, when she knows certainly that the same person would do the same for her. You know what that means?" He had rarely seen Myuri serious face, but when she asked that question, he felt that Myuri wanted a serious a truthful answer.
Lawrence took a moment to think of an answer. What am I to Horo? A question that felt like he knew the answer to, but couldn't find the right words to describe it.
The sound of rustling fabric was heard from beside him. He looked towards the direction of the sound, and saw that Horo appeared to be in some kind of pain. Her head was tossing left and right, and she was drench in sweat in sweat.
"It appears that she having a bad dream due to the fever, I'll go get a wet cloth to put on her head." Myuri quickly walked left the room.
Lawrence grabbed a cloth on the table, and swiped the sweat on Horo's forehead. In his mind, he wondered what kind of horrible dream she was having that was able to cause her so much pain.
Myuri came back shortly with a bucket of water, and a couple of cloths. Lawrence moved aside to allow Myuri to tend to his distressed companion. He took a cup of water from the platter and took a sip. As he was drinking, he heard the sound of a smack from Myuri direction. He instantly turned his turn head to their direction. To his surprised, he saw that Horo had got up, and was sitting up-right on the bed.
"Horo! Are you alright?" Lawrence hastily went towards her, until Myuri placed her arm in his way. She signaled him to stop and don't go any closer...
"Watch out. She is not acting normal. She just slapped my hand away as I was about to place the cloth of her head." Myuri warned Lawrence.
Confused, Lawrence glanced at Horo. She was growling and baring her fangs against them, like a wolf preparing to strike back at her enemies. Her eyes were clouded with fever, and sweating drip down from her chin.
"She's might be delirious from the fever, and the nightmare she had is causing her to have hallucinations. It made her mistake us for enemies, and her natural animal instincts of survival had taken over her body. Myuri continued, not taking her eyes of Horo.
Lawrence realized what was happening. In order words, Horo currently couldn't tell the difference between friend and foe, and her body would instinctively do anything to guarantee her survival. If they approached her carelessly, she could do anything, and she might even attack them.
"We need to subdue her quickly as well; she doesn't notice that her body isn't ready to move yet after sustaining the injury in her current state. The wound might re-open if she keeps stressing her body like this." Myuri said.
Lawrence nodded.
"So what do you suggest we do?" Lawrence asked.
"I will pin her down on the bed, while you quickly knock her out." Myuri answered.
"Wait, what? Can't we do something that involves less force?"
Knocking her out was the most simple and easiest way to do it, but he felt that attacking Horo, delirious or not, was like betraying her.
"Okay, then you suggests something different." Myuri commanded.
"I don't know, can't we just reason with her and calm her down?" Lawrence suggested.
"Does she look like she can be reasoned with right now?" Myuri shot him a skeptical look.
Lawrence glanced towards Horo, her growl gave way to short pants, but her eyes and pose signaled that she did not recognize them as friends, and were prepared to strike back.
"I'm going to give it a try." Lawrence said, and Myuri just stared at him with an expression that seems to say that he was incredibly stupid and foolish. However, Lawrence was determined to do it, and Myuri saw that in his eyes.
She sighed, and moved away to let Lawrence approach Horo.
"Fine, but be careful, I don't want to be taking care of two injured people." Myuri remarked.
Lawrence responded with a grin, and proceeded to slowly walk towards Horo.
His eyes were focused on her, watching every move she makes as he got closer to her.
"Hey Horo, I'm Lawrence, remember me? I'm your worthless companion, remember?" Lawrence spoke softly and quietly as he crept closer to her.
"Stay away…" She said quietly, as if her body barely has the strength to speak anymore.
As he got closer to her, she scrunched her body further against the bed, trying to get away from him.
"I'm not going to harm you, I'm your friend. You're not feeling well right now, and I'm here to help you." Lawrence tried to calm her as best he could, and not to provoke her.
He was practically on the edge of the bed, and he could fully see Horo's face. She stared at him like an animal that had been surrounded by enemies with no way of escaping. Seeing her in this state brought a sense of unknown pain to his heart. He lunged out at her, hugged her body, and pulled her tightly towards his chest.
He felt the pain of his left arm being punctured by Horo's fangs, as she bit him in response to his sudden actions. He endured the pain, and continued hugged Horo tightly against his chest. Her body was trembling uncontrollably, and he realized that she was in a state of extreme of fear.
"It's okay Horo, I'm here, don't be afraid." Lawrence began to gently rub the back of her head to soothe her.
"It's okay; can you recognize my voice, Horo?" He repeated his sentence tenderly and calmly.
Her trembling started to lessen, and he could feel her grip of her bite loosen on his arms.
"Yes, it alright, Horo. Don't worry; I will always be by your side, I will always look after you."
The trembling slowly dissipated, and Horo released Lawrence arm from her bite.
"Lawrence…" Horo said weakly.
Lawrence felt the tense muscles in her body relaxed completely, her head leaned against his chest. She was breathing deeply and calmly. Looking at her, Lawrence realized that she had fallen back into a quiet sleep in his arms.
He laid her back down o the bed and took a relieving breath.
"Nice job, I was impressed." Myuri remarked.
"Thanks." Lawrence swipe the sweat from his forehead.
"Here, catch." Myuri threw a damp cloth at him, which Lawrence swiftly caught in midair.
"It's for your arm." Myuri said as she moved towards the bed to palace another wet cloth on Horo's head.
Lawrence had completed forgotten that his arm had been bitten, while trying to calm Horo down. As he remembered, a sharp stinging pain started to emerge from the wound in his arm. He examined it; the punctures weren't deep, but still manage to cause it to bleed. He quickly wrapped the wet cloth around the wound to clean it and stop it from further bleeding.
"So, what are you going to do after this deal is over?" Myuri abruptly asked him.
"I'm probably going to return south, find a suitable town, and open my own store." Lawrence said monotonously.
"You don't sound very excited about that."
"It's because I will also lose someone close to me."
"Then why don't you take her with you, didn't you just said you would be with her always?"
"She doesn't want to go with me. She already stated that we will part ways after this is over. Even if I wanted her to come with me, she the one that makes the final choice in the end, and I can't force her to come with me." Myuri's ears twitched, and she slowly stood up.
"Do you think that is what she really desires, to not be with you?" Myuri solemnly asked.
Lawrence didn't reply because he didn't really know the answer himself.
"Maybe you first should answer my question earlier? Do you know what it means when she would risk her own life for yours?" Myuri asked.
Lawrence didn't know the answer to that question either, but he thought that if he didn't say at least something, Myuri would have smack him in the head. So, he said the first thing that came into his head.
"That I am a very important person to her?" Lawrence answered unsurely.
"What kind of bland answer is that? But I guess it'll do for a dense guy like you." Myuri sighed, turned around, and stared at him straight in the eye.
"It's more than that. You're a person that she absolutely trusts." Myuri walked towards him till she was just a few centimeters away from him.
"The way you manage to calm her is proof of the strong bonds you both share. Even though she was not fully conscious, her instincts recognized you as someone she can trust. She trusted that you would protect her from harm, which is why her survival instinct receded, and allow herself to become vulnerable in front of you."
Lawrence turned his head to the side to avoid Myuri's piercing stare.
"She completely trusted me?" Lawrence thought to himself
Lawrence had always felt that he and Horo have established a relationship of trust between them throughout their journey, but to say she trusted him completely seemed a bit unbelievable. This was because Horo was always hiding things about herself from him, especially her past.
"You averted your eyes because you just doubted the level of trust you two have. Let me guess the reason. Is it because she doesn't tell you much about herself?" Myuri words were like darts and every one of them are hitting the bull' eye on Lawrence thoughts.
He nodded.
"I see." Myuri knocked him back down to his chair. This was the first time Lawrence had seen Myuri angry, and it was frightening.
"She didn't tell you about her past not because she didn't trust you, it was because she didn't want to relive those memories. To tell you the truth, she didn't tell me anything about her journey to the south either. My guess was that something happened along the way that caused her great grief. And by knowing her, she's the type of person that will hold it deep within her hearts, and never show it anyone. She's too prideful, and doesn't want to burden anyone with her problems. The reason she wanted to part ways with you now was because she didn't want to burden you anymore."
The room was silent after Myuri's statement.
"I want you to make the best choice, so I'm going tell you something. Do you know the reason why she went on the journey to the south?"
"No."
"It was to find the elixir of life. A magical elixir that existed in legends that said it could bring back the people that had passed away, and be able to give a person eternal life." Myuri sat on a chair adjacent to Lawrence.
Lawrence was bewildered that Horo's original goal was to find something that couldn't possibly exist.
"It was to find the elixir of life? That's impossible; there was no way it could have existed. Anyone with common sense would be able tell that it was a legend meant to entertain children. It was only stated in legends, and Horo would have known that it did not exist." Lawrence said, signaling that he was not believing that Horo's goal was a wild goose chase for an object she just heard in a legend.
"Only stated in legends, you say? Then what about us?" Myuri was referring to herself and Horo.
"Our existence was also only stated in legends. However, we existed just like the legend said, so why couldn't the elixir of life also exist like the legend said it could?" Myuri retorted.
Lawrence had nothing to counter Myuri statement. He would have never thought that existence like Myuri and Horo ever existed until he saw it, but an elixir that that was able to give eternal life was just ridiculous. Using the elixir was equivalent to playing god.
"She never got along with her pack. Do you know why? Myuri asked.
"No, she only mentioned that she wasn't really close to any of her pack members." Lawrence answered.
"She was gifted a strange power amongst the other wolves in her pack. You know that she has the ability to make grain grow from a seed until it is fully ripened almost instantly, right? Lawrence nodded; he had seen Horo used that ability before.
"Only she is able to perform that ability, I can't do it, and none of the other wolves can. Because of her power to give life, she was given the title, the wise wolf of Yoitsu. However, that title was a double edge sword, it gave her reputation but also alienation. Us wolves and humans think and behave the same, because we are both animals in the end after all. If someone was different, and had something better than you, how would a normal human being react? She asked Lawrence.
"Weird, and jealous." He answered.
"Exactly, the pack members started to distant themselves from her, and eventually a gap between her and the other wolves developed. Even I felt a distance that separated me and her, and nonsensical rumors started to fly around."
"Like what?" Lawrence inquired out of curiosity.
"Something along the lines that said, if she is able to give life to object, then she must also have the ability to take life away." Myuri said seriously.
"That's insane." It was so stupid that Lawrence also gave a short laugh.
"Yes, it is stupid, but once you say it over and over again, you will start to believe it right?"
Lawrence laughter stopped instantly, and he looked down at his knees. Knowing full well the power and destructiveness of rumors from being a merchant, he started to feel sorry for Horo. Even a respected company's reputation could be ruined with some well-placed rumors in the marketplace.
"Pack members started to fear her, even though she had nothing to be afraid of. They were all scared by the label they falsely placed on her. The Elders treat her like some kind of special existence, even though she wanted to be treated normally. She had friends, but never any true friends. Most of her friends just wanted to use her to get close to the Elders. In the end, she wanted to be normal, but no one gave her the freedom to be normal. She was surrounded with fame and power, but in her world, she was alone."
"So even amongst her on kind, Horo was being discriminated and alienated. I have no idea that the ability Horo was born with was the cause of her discrimination." He thought to himself.
"One day, I saw her on top of a hill watching something very closely. I walked towards out of curiosity and ask what she was watching. She didn't answer, but I looked towards the direction where she was gazing and saw a human village. I originally assume she was on lookout to make sure the humans didn't trespass our territories. So, I walked away, and let her do her thing. However, I often saw her watching the humans that live close to our forest. Sometimes, she would spend the entire day watching them."
Lawrence was intrigued. He had always got the feeling Horo were not really friendly with some of her pack members, but he never expected it would be like this.
"As a saw her on the hill again and again for many days, I began noticed that she wasn't guarding our territories. She was watching them because she fascinated and enjoyed how human families and being help each other in times of need. She wanted know what it was like to have families friends that cared about you. After realizing this, I started to sympathize with her, and wanted to get closer to her."
"So you were the first one that tried to reach out to her?" Lawrence asked.
"Yes, I just felt sorry for her, and I wanted to understand her. But trying to reach out to her was a lot more difficult than you would think. Firstly, I needed to prove I'm not a person trying to befriend her for to satisfy my own personal needs. Secondly, she wasn't the talkative and teasing person like how you know her, because she had mostly been alone for a long time. Thirdly, she is very prideful. She knew she was lonely and desperately wanted friends and someone to talk to, but she would keep it all inside her heart and wouldn't show it. In her mind, she needed to be strong, and could not allow herself to show any weaknesses. This was because if she does, she would be vulnerable and would have no one to protect her."
"Basically, she is stubborn like always." Lawrence stated.
"Exactly." Myuri gave a soft giggle.
"At first, I tried to start a conversation with her, but she just ignored me. After trying a few times and not succeeding, I just sat next to her and watch the human village together. She never looked at me once, like I wasn't even here. However, I knew that she was aware of my presence because every time I make sound, her ears will twitch. I just sat with her for several days, while not a single word was exchanged ever once."
"I'm surprised you didn't just give up." Lawrence remarked.
"Well, I was about to until she saved my life one night."
"Really?" Lawrence was surprised that to hear that.
"Yes, it was during one of the days, while I was watching the humans with her. A very severe snowstorm appeared out of nowhere and ambushed us. The blizzard blinded everything; you could not even see what was directly in front of you. The icy cold wind blew the thick braches of the trees away. It was like Mother Nature was angry and was trying to destroy anything in sight. Because I was one of the younger wolves, my fur coat was not yet as thick as Horo, so I began to feel really cold. As the storm got worse, it got colder, my body began to shake and feel numb, and I cannot go look for any shelter because of the blinding blizzard. Slowly, I got sleepier, and I thought I was going to die, until I felt something warm and heavy on top of me. I looked up, and realized that Horo had wrapped her body on top of mine, serving as a warm blanket. She sheltered me from the harshness of ferocious storm. From then on, I owed her a big favor because if she hadn't had wrap herself around me, the storm would have blew me away like the branches on the trees. It was also the first time I seen her kindness, and realized the rumor that depicted her as being evil were completely lies."
"Is that also why you went to find her, and waited here for her to tell her about the news of the pack, even though all of them abandoned her." Lawrence asked
Myuri nodded then continued.
"As the snowstorm passed leaving a trail of destruction, I and Horo shoved off the snow that buried us. I thanked her, but she didn't say anything to me and just looked down the hill. I followed her gaze, and saw that the human village and been destroyed and buried under the snow by the snowstorm. The humans started to salvage what was left of their possessions, and helped the people that were still trapped in the houses buried under tons of snow. Even people that these humans never knew nor talk to before began to help each other. It was an amazing sight, and it was then I knew why Horo were so interested in these humans. At nightfall, they would start a fire in the center of the village, where every surviving villager would gather around and started to sing away the losses of their property and loved ones. As the music and tune reached my ears, I also started to sing along too. However, it was my first time, and I was amazingly off key. I made the happy song the villagers sang into a song that sound like something demon would chant to wake up the dead. But, I still kept singing, and as I kept singing, I heard a loud laughter beside me. It was Horo, and who knew that someone that had been quiet and lonely for such as a long time could have such a loud and happy laugh. She told me that my singing was terrible, but she liked it and those were the first words she said to me."
"Is that when you became friends with her?"
"It was a gradual process, but she always treasures the humans."
"In the day after the snowstorm, I was surprised that I didn't see her at the hill observing the human village. Out of curiosity, I got caught of her scent, located where she was, and went towards that direction. She was lying near the edge of the forest, just far enough to avoid being seen by the humans. Upon closer inspection, I realized that she was in a deep sleep. It was pretty dangerous to sleep near the village, since the humans could mistook her for an easy prey during their hunts. However, when I try to nudge her awake, she wouldn't wake up. I looked towards the human village, and was amazed when I saw that multiple bundle of cold-resistant wheat laid on the outskirts the village."
Myuri looked towards Horo.
"The ability she has isn't like magic, it needs a cost. The cost was her life energy; you need life to give life to something after all. Normally, it is okay if she does a small amount over a long period of time, but if she does a large quantity in a short of period of time, it could be risky. However, maybe that's part of her personality, she was always reckless."
Myuri re-adjusted her gaze back to Lawrence and gave a soft giggle, which intrigued him.
"What's so funny?" Lawrence asked.
"When the villagers found the wheat, they praised it as a miracle and gift from god. Because most of their food supplies were destroyed in the storm, and their manpower was divided upon helping the wounded and scavenging the wreckage, they had barely any time or people to hunt for food. They said prayers of gratitude towards Horo's gift of life. I just noticed that was really ironic. The ability that made most of the pack scorned her away, was the same ability that the humans, and completely different species than her home, was praising it as their savior. Unfortunately, humans were weak and they couldn't survive just by relying on the wheat they received from Horo. People from the village started to leave and head towards other human settlements. As time goes by, the village got smaller, until everyone completely left."
"It was common practice for humans to migrate from destroyed settlements to other nearby settlements. Even today, when a city is destroyed by war, disease and famine, most residents would abandon it and re-locate to other cities. That was why sometimes traveling merchants would return to their hometown, and saw that their town had been deserted." Lawrence said.
"Exactly, and it was the re-location of the human populace that sparked Horo ambition for her journey. During of the nights where the moon is full, she gazed at the moon and said this to me."
Wouldn't it be nice if I can live the humans? To be able to start my life over again not as some divined being, but a normal person? To be able to live knowing that you are free to be yourself, and have people around you that acknowledges that.
"That was her desire, or how you humans would put it, her dream. She wanted a place where she can freely live an act as her true self. A place where people would be able to accept her true self, and not force her to become something they envisioned for themselves. Basically, she wanted a place where she belongs. She saw the human potential for compassion, acceptance, cooperation and sympathy, and thought maybe her place lies within them, and not with her own kind. However, she knew that the average life span of a human was ridiculously short compared to her own. That was why she set on a journey to find the elixir of life she heard from one the humans stories. With that, she would be able to live with anyone that was able to accept her for who she truly is. And so, she set off on her journey to find the elixir of life. "
Lawrence took a moment for the story to sink in. It was truly fascinating to learn about Horo's past.
"So what is your purpose in telling me all this?"
Myuri stared at him.
"It was because only you are able to fulfill her dream. I had never seen her smile so happily before when she was with you. She smiled from the bottom of her heart that showed she had found the place she had been looking all along. I just didn't want to see her selflessly throw it away because of something she was afraid of. Although it might be the right choice to separate with you, since the human world and our world cannot co-exists and only brings trouble. However, on rare occasions, sometimes the right choice isn't the best choice."
Myuri stood up and placed both her hands on his shoulder.
"Your lives were intertwined at the first moment you two met, like driving a wagon. You are the wagon driver and she is the passenger sitting beside you. A fork in the road had appeared in front you. The map tells you that you should take the road the left, which leads through steep jagged mountains and dangerous rapids. You will know that you are on the right way, but you would need to endure hardship and the inevitable lost of some of your cargo, while travelling uphill and downhill on uneven roads and crossing rapids. The left road leads you to a thick forest. This path is full if uncertainties and you won't be able to know what is going to happen if you take this road, or if you are getting close to your destination. However, this path looks much safer and less troublesome to cross. You're the wagon driver, which road will you choose? The road that ensures that you will arrive at your objective, while costing you tons of grief and lost. Or the road of uncertainty that leads towards the forest, which may prevent you from going through hardship and loss of your merchandise. Do you choose the right choice or the best choice?"
A.N.: Sorry for taking so long to update. A writer's block, which caused me re-think the plot several times hindered me from continuing the story. It was like you got this great idea in your head, and then when you put it on paper, it doesn't sound good at all. I hated that feeling. Originally I didn't plan on splitting this into two chapters, but after some modifying with the plot, I felt it was best to split it. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and the little backstory between Horo and Myuri. The next part will be about one of the adventures during Horo's journey, so I hope you look forward to that. As always, please review and let me know what you think about this chapter.
By the way, the elixir of life was a reference to Vol. 7 of the light novels, where one of the chapters mentioned the reason for Horo's journey.