Unedited so please excuse any mistake, sorry.
NOTE: Flashbacks aren't in order. The first flashback is set before Emily and Hanna were together, the second is during, the third is after, and the last is during.
Hanna's Pov
I don't think words can describe how I feel. Everything I'm feeling is so mixed. I don't know whether I should be continuing to be this person that I swore to be when I came back here at Rosewood or stop my tracks and try to know more about what happened with Alison. I don't know where she is now, but I have a very strong feeling that I don't want to know at all about Alison. Especially since it'll involve Emily. While I was at Oklahoma with my grandmother and visited Texas, I met so many great people that opened my eyes and made me realized that I need to be strong and more different to pass any tough time. I'm trying. I'm trying to act like everything with Emily and I never even happened, so I don't fall into a new heart break. I can't go through that again.
The sound of my phone ringtone goes off and interrupts my thoughts. It was Caleb who was calling.
(flashback/ dinner for Spencer's birthday)
Just seeing her hair bounce and her laughing makes every single part of me kept staring. Though I can't do that. I shouldn't even be thinking of her like this at all.
'Snap out of it, Han. You don't like her. She's your best friend and you're straight, remember?' My conscience screams at me. She helps Spencer set the small bonfire on in the living room. "Hey Hanna," Out of nowhere, Caleb appears in front of me staring at Emily. "Did you space out?" He laughs. I look down at the stack of plates I was supposed to set up on the table for the dinner.
"Yeah, sorry" I said. He presses his lips against my cheek and I could feel his smile. He then excuses himself to the restroom, making me suddenly feel terrible. Why am I feeling like this? Why do I feel like I'm betraying him?
Emily walks towards me with a frown. "Dinner is going to start soon, where's the forks and spoons?" She asks.
"They are in the cabinet," I point behind me. She looks at me and shakes her head at me with a smile. She walks towards the cabinet and I follow. She reaches for the highest cabinet on her toes. Her shirt starts to show some of her skin and I couldn't help myself but stare. She gets back down on her feet and I look back up, instantly. I don't want her to know that I was practically staring at her tanned stomach. I don't know how it happened but her body was very close to mine. Enough for me to smell her damn perfume that makes me want to explode. And it was close enough to make me feel like I'm set on fire. In this moment I was getting lost at the feeling of our bodies being close, but not touching. Until she reaches out for my hands and places the utensils in my hand. "Hanna?" She said, softly.
"Huh?" I said, getting my head back into reality.
"Are you okay, Han?" She asked.
Don't get lost in her eyes, Hanna Marin. Don't you dare.
"Yeah, totally" I practically had to mentally slap myself before responding. She walks away and I see Caleb coming back down stairs. It all made sense to me now. This isn't some small little girl crush. For months I've been trying to convince myself that it was just maybe a little crush, and how it shouldn't be possible to even have these feelings for Emily. It was all suddenly getting into my head now..
I think I'm in love with my best friend.
"Hello?"
"Hanna!" He sounded happy. It was a sound I miss from him while I was away. "Do you want to hang out? I just wanted to know if you were up for another cup of coffee?"
"I would like that" I said
"I'll meet you there?"
"Yeah, I'll be there at ten." I said. And for the moment there I felt happy here at Rosewood again. Spending time with Caleb was nice in a platonic way. I just really want nothing more then a friend at the moment, and he is really supportive. I stand in front of my mirror and just stare at how lazy I look. My hair is all ruffled up and messy, my tank top covered on half of my body because I had been laying down watching tv for the past two hours, and the gray sweats I had on made me look like the most laziest person ever.
I open my suitcase that was filled with all the clothes that I hadn't organized in my drawer yet to find something to wear. I practically just threw most of the shirts/blouses/skirts/dresses that I didn't want to wear all over the floor. Until one particular shirt caught my eye. I can't even believe I still have this.
After a long day spending Christmas at my dad's side of the family, (which my mom made me go to so I can "bond" with my father and Kate) I had finally went home around 7pm to spend the remaining time of Christmas with my mom. We had dinner and watched movies together most of the night before she fell asleep on the couch. I look at the time, it was 10:30pm and the first thought I had in my mind was Emily. She knew that I had gone to spend most of the day with my father and I promised her that I would come and see her when I got home after spending time with my mom. As I step out the house, everything was freezing. I could see snow starting to come down sky.
'Hopefully she isn't sleeping', the thought roamed in my head. I sent a text message to her saying, "At your front door"
It wasn't too long until she answered the door and attacked me with a tight hug. "Okay.. Can.. I.. Breathe.. Now?" I said. She let go and grabbed my hand, leading me up to her room.
"We have to be quiet, my mom is asleep" She whispers. We go up inside her room and I immediately ramble about how annoying Kate was and how I had to put up with her at the dinner table with my father. We just sit on her bed and she holds my hand tight, and reassuring me that everything is okay and how strong I was putting up with Kate.
This.
This feeling that I get when she makes me feel less angry and annoyed with the world... She is the one I want to spend every breathing moment with. It's crazy because we only been together for 6 months and I feel completely.. Whipped. Not once that we had sex. It's not that we are taking it slow, we just keep getting our moments ruined. There's times where I want to say everything that's on my mind, but when I open my mouth it's like she takes my breath away. I snap out of my thoughts and when Emily hands me a small rectangular shaped box. "Here, I got you something" She says.
"Em, you didn't have too" I said, giving her a soft smile. I open the gift and the first thing I did was look up to her. "It's beautiful" I breathe out. In my hands is a gold necklace with H.M + E.F engraved on it. "This looks really expensive" I said.
"Well," She says as she takes the necklace out of my hand and brushes my hair out of the way of my neck with her hands, "I had to save up months of paychecks" She clips it on around my neck places a kiss on my cheek.
"I feel bad," I say taking out her gift from the pocket of my jacket, "I just got you this.." It was the new cd of her favorite band. She smiles and said, "I love it"
"Em," I say, "All I want for Christmas is you"
The moment fell silent, then I felt the warmth of her hand on my cheek. Before she leans in to close the gap between our lips, she gives this long look inside of my eyes. She captures my lips with a kiss, which took my breath away already. It was at first soft and safe, before the slow time went by and the kiss grew deeper. Before I knew it, her body was forcing mines to lay back against the pillows. She starts to set my core on fire as she rapidly kisses my neck. My fingers dig deep into her back, under her shirt. I bite my lip down hard to avoid any noise escaping my mouth. "Em, your mom is sleeping.." I said.
She gets up and says, "Oh yeah" She walks to the door and locks it. She straddle on top of my lap again and removes her shirt over her head. I stare at her body... This is my first time with a girl.. With Emily..
"Are you ready?" She asks. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared, not scared to have my first with Emily, but because this is a huge step of our relationship. "Han?" She asks again. I hear voice again, and I swear I always feel safe.
"Yes" I shake my head 'yes'. The next thing I know, our bodies collide in a feeling I'll never forget. We had never been this kind close like this. With each kiss she lays on my stomach.. and going lower.. everything and every where inside of me is set on fire. I grip on to the bed sheets at her contact with my core. "Emily" I gasp.
I open my eyes and turn find my body wrapped in Emily's arms. I turn around, where I can face her. Her face was makeup free and her hair was all messy. God, she's beautiful. "Morning, baby" She says with her morning voice.
The first thing I did was grin, "I love when you call me that"
"Mhm" She said before placing a kiss on my nose. Out of nowhere there was a knock on the door and the sound of an angry mother.
"Emily Fields! What did I say about locked doors?!" The sound of Emily's mother, Pam, yelled.
Emily's eyes widen and so did mines. The first thing I did was put on any clothes I found of mines of the floor. I had put on my pants but I couldn't find my shirt so I picked up Emily's red and black button up flannel.
"I'm coming!" Emily said to her mother. "Get out the window!" She whispers at me.
"No way!" I said.
"She's going to kill me if she finds out you stayed the night!"
"Didn't she know?" I ask
"How would she know?"
"All the moaning-"
"Hanna!" She cuts my words off. It wasn't my choice but I had to do it anyways. I left out of Emily's by her window and practically getting stuck in a tree.
That day she let me keep her shirt. While being away for two years, there's no doubt that I wanted to burn it. I couldn't though. I never had the power because it just held on to many memories that I couldn't let go of.
My phone beeped and I received a text from Caleb asking where I was. I quickly put on a pair of jeans and wore the flannel. Coffee.. The Brew.. What if Emily sees me? I thought. No I doubt she still works at the Brew after these years.
I left to the Brew and found Caleb sitting the furniture side of the coffee shop. As I approach him, I almost have coffee spilled all over me when one of the workers almost walked into me. "Sorry" It was Emily.
"It's okay" I said.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" She smiles softly. I look over her shoulder and notice Caleb giving me a wave. I wave back, which cause Emily to look in my direction. "Oh" Her voice sounded shattered.
"You still work here?" I said, trying to move passed the ''Oh".
"Yeah, I needed the extra cash" She says, she then glances at the shirt I was wearing and hopefully she doesn't see the pink, probably red, face I have on right now. Instead, she just says, "I remember that shirt." And walks away back to her shift or what ever she was doing on the job.
I walk towards Caleb and sit next to him. "Here, I ordered your favorite" He says, "It's a little bit warm."
I take a sip of the coffee, Skinny Vanilla, "Looks like you still know me well" I let a small laugh out.
"Well, how are you Han? Seeing Emily must be tough" He said.
"What?" I honestly didn't know what he referred to.
"You don't remember?" He said.
"Remember what?" I ask.
"The night she cheated on you, you came to me."
And suddenly my eyebrows raised and I remember what he was talking about. Breaking up with Caleb was not the last time I saw him.
(the night Hanna caught Emily cheating)
After feeling the sudden urge to pack my bags, I open the bottle of whiskey my mom stores in the cabinet. I take the bottle and drive. I didn't know where I was headed, I just drove.
I find myself at the door step of someone who I hadn't spoke to in a while. Before knocking the door I take a chug of the bottle of whiskey. I knock on the door softly, rubbing my arms for warmth. The door opens and I see Caleb. The first look he had was a grin, but it quickly dropped when he got a better look of me. "Han?" He said.
I tried holding back the tears but it didn't work. The pain was too much for me to even pretend that everything was okay.
"I didn't know here else to go" My voice breaks.
"Come inside" He pulls me inside his trailer, taking the bottle away from me. It was cleaned up from the last time I been in here. He used to have empty bottles of beer laying around. That has changed. I sit down on his couch with my face buried in my hands. "Hanna, what happened?" He asked, sitting beside me.
I looked up and said, "She.. She cheated on me" The first thing he did was widen his eyes. I wouldn't of believed it either. Emily cheating on Hanna Marin? Their relationship is perfect though?
It isn't.
He pulls me close and wraps his arms around me. "How could she do that to me?" I muffled in his chest, with so many tears staining his shirt. He holds me tighter for comfort and I cried in his arms until my eyes couldn't take any more. "Thank you" I said with a sniffle.
"I don't know why she would do that to you, Han" He says, "You're not someone worth losing for" His words soften me a little. Though all I can think about is hurting her back. I want to return the pain she gave me. I lean in and press my lips against his, but he quickly backs away. "Han.."
"I'm sorry" I said instantly. What did I just do? Is this where heart break goes? Where you just want to return all the pain and tears that the you one loved brought you?
"You're hurt. I don't want you doing anything you'll regret." He said. "I think you just need to talk it out, Han. Can you do that?"
"I'll try"
"I remember," I say, "Sorry, ever since I was away I forgot some things" It was true. While I was away, I did find some peace that stopped some of my heartache.
"How are you?" He said.
"I don't know"
He places his hand on top of mine. Caleb was always so good to me. There were moments where I was in a place where I had second thoughts about him, and even regretted breaking up with him. Though, every time I thought of regretting breaking up with him, there's a huge part, somewhere in my head, telling me that if I hadn't break up with him, I wouldn't of been with Emily. I wouldn't have the best moments of my life, but then again, I wouldn't have the worst.
"Remember that I'm always here for you, Han" He says softly. I believe him. There was not one moment where he let me down.
"I know" I said softly.
Emily's Pov
It's that sinking feeling in your chest that I'm having right now from my repetitive glances over at Hanna and Caleb. Oh. Now his hand is on hers. With Hanna back, I couldn't but think how things would have been today if I didn't make the choices I had made two years ago.
"SOS" The main text message that brings Hanna, Spencer, Aria and I in one room, worried as hell. This time, Spencer had sent it.
"What's going on?" I ask, walking inside Spencer's house. Spencer, Aria, and Hanna all stand around each other with quietly. "Hello?" I said because none of them seems to answer my question.
"Shana went up to me last night and told me that.." Spencer pauses.
"That what?" I said
"That Alison is alive." Hanna said, running her fingers through her hair.
Thanks for all the reviews! There is so many more to come, and I think I'll have chapters of just the flashbacks because they are a huge important part of this story.
Guest: Awwwwwwwwwwww. I love BFF Hannily. If I was Hanna, I'd be like, 'hell no bitch you cheated on me!' Well... Hanna IS more forgiving... OMG but the second you mentioned Hanna becoming best friends with a guy named Shane, I immediately thought of Shane from Faking It. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but the crazy part is I was literally just imagining Hanna being friends with everyone from Faking It, lol. It would be cute if Shane came to visit Han, whether it's Faking It Shane or not, lol. UPDATE SOOOOOOONNNN PLLLZZZZZZ
My response: Yes, I do mean Shane Harvey. Though, I don't think I should have this a cross over because I'm not sure the other viewers even watch Faking It so I don't want to make them read characters they don't know. Trust me, I read hannily fics that crossed over to different shows and I was a little confused haha :-)
Should I cross it over just a little bit or not? If I do, I'm not going to make the story about them, but more of how Hanna's life was at Oklahoma/Texas from the passed two years. Including her change and growth.
Leave a review! It'll mean a lot!