Ceilings are odd things. They're all different shapes and colors. Especially the ones in auditoriums; those usually had very decorative and ornate plaster moldings. Her ceiling however, was plain off white with only a few indentions from previous tenants. Shay questioned how they'd gotten dents up there in the first place.

'At least there aren't any cracks or water stains,' the woman mused in contemplative thought. That would not be ideal.

She needed more sleep. It was once again three in the morning and Shay was staring at the ceiling as she lay on her couch. For some yet to be determined reason it was more comfortable than the bed. Not that it made falling into unconsciousness any easier. Another night of pondering random things or wherever her rest deprived mind wandered. A sharp pain made itself known in her stomach with an added dose of queasiness. She took a deep breath and struggled not to puke. She hardly had enough food in her as it was. A grimace flew across her features because there was no one there to see. Rolling over, the small human tried to get more comfortable.

But now light from the city outside fell on her face. Distantly a siren rang out over the sound of engines and even the plaster walls couldn't block it all out. Dang it, she had curtains up to keep that light out. They were there for a reason!

Hair sticking out in odd directions, the female lifted her head to glare at the window and offending cloth that only covered half of it. She'd forgotten to close it all the way. Too weary to get up, Shay just buried her face in the pillow. Could she please please please just fall asleep already? Was that too much to ask lately? The woman had been dealing with the insomnia moderately well until the sickness had gotten worse. It was now day three (or four since it was past midnight now) of barely eating, exhaustion, low fever, aching eyes, retching whatever she managed to get down, and random fits of extreme pain.

She had been alright one day (coping with the aching chest) and then -bam!- sick as a dog. At least she had been able to call in sick. After trying to clock into work on the first day she felt horrendous, her boss had taken one look at her and sent the young women home to rest. Not much had changed since then. Just thinking about trying to eat brought back the nausea and sleep just would not come. Holed up in her apartment, Shay could stay out of the cold weather and curl up in a blanket. But nothing was really helping.

Slowly, carefully, the woman eased her body up and staggered to the kitchen on the left. Melatonin pills weren't helping anymore so Shay had switched to tea that was supposed to make her tired. She'd yet to see any change in her sleep pattern.

But Shay had run out of other options. Not bothering to turn on the light, she used the tiny rays of city light to see by as she fixed a cup. The human woman stared moodily into the liquid but couldn't work up the will to drink. She slumped against the counter.

4 am. How many times had she done this before?

Dull blue eyes slowly started to ache and she rubbed them on reflex before she realized that probably wouldn't help. Her mind was fuzzy with exhaustion and she couldn't find it in herself to care anymore. Another bout of pain, this one curling in her chest. A sigh slid out as the eye ache turned to stinging.

"Damn..." 'Better get this before it gets worse.' She thought to herself.

Scowling, she brushed light brown hair out of her face and stood to open the high up cabinet that held medicine bottles. Her fingers wrapped around the metal handle and the other just barely brushed against the plastic container that held aspirin pills when a stronger waved knocked her down. Elbows almost smashed against the counter as she collapsed in a dizzy heap on the floor.

A scream built up as she clenched her teeth in effort to ignore the pain. Panting, arms quaked as the woman struggled to stand. She could do this, she could do this. She'd gotten through this before. Trembling fingers grasped the edge of the stove as she pulled herself up inch by inch. Pain flared throughout her body, causing a quite keen to echo out of her lips and into the small home.

Don't make a sound Don't make a sound Don't make a sou-, a repeated mantra in her head as she struggled not to cry out. Couldn't have anyone hearing that, could we?

Rasping breath was the only noise to be heard in the silent kitchen as her hold slipped and she fell back against the wood flooring. Shay squeezed her eyes shut against the tears and stinging. Shaking, her face twisted in silent agony while clenched hands scrambled against the board beneath her. She tried to think clearly and calm herself but it was so difficult. The pain was cold and numb, stinging like hundreds of needles were being driven through her core. Opening her eyes a slit showed black spots coating her vision in an encompassing wave, distorting the room as she struggled to stand. Suddenly, the sound of her harsh breathing was very far away.

'It's going to be a bad one,' a distant thought.

No peaceful unconsciousness swept her away from the pain, not even for a brief while. No, she wasn't that lucky. Instead Shay drifted in a sort of limbo, caught between awake with pain but not awake enough to move. The woman hovered for an indeterminable amount of time until the icy fire beneath her skin retreated to her chest and the shivers stopped.

This time, when there were no black and blurry spots when the female peeked open her eyes. No aches behind her eyelids. Wincing, she picked herself up to lean back shakily against the lower cabinets. Tears rolled down and over the pink marks from where her cheek had been pressed against the floor. The salt water scorched the surface of her face and dropped off her chin to disappear into the too large tee-shirt and sweat pants she was using as a nightgown. After a moment or two, her lungs quite working so hard and the woman precariously got up. Only to fall into the nearest chair by the table.

Laying her head on the table, she sent out a silent plea.

Make it stop.

.

.

.

A hand touched her shoulder tentatively and Shay jerked out of her dreamless fog of sleep in startlement, almost falling from her chair. The woman blinked heavily a few times and tugged at her shirt. Blearily she looked to see Andrew a few feet away waving hesitantly. Cold and dull winter morning light came through the window which now had the curtain pulled back all the way.

"What..." she croaked, gave a cough and then tried again, "What are you doing over there?"

Grinning cheekily, he replied but stayed back, "Keeping out of range in case you tried to kill me."

Shaking her head, the woman mock snarled before stretching sore muscles. Falling asleep on a table was not in any way comfortable. Andrew just chuckled and finally came over, apparently deeming it now safe. Shay took in the friendly chesnut eyes, light ebony brown hair that was starting to get too long, and shadow of stubble along his jaw. Smooth features with a strong nose and slightly off center smile made up his profile while tousled clothing gave the impression that lent itself to a laid back surfer. As far as Shay knew, Andrew had only tried surfing once and failed miserably. Her old friend sat down next to her while taking off his light coat to hang on the chair. A gleam by his right ear showed a stud earring that was a symbol for one of his favorite football teams.

Of the group, the only boy was second tallest after Leann. Cassidy was third leaving Shay herself as the shorty. Speaking of, where was the red head? She opened her mouth to ask where his wife was but got cut off.

"Shay!" Snapped a frustrated voice, making the woman lurch in surprise.

Cassidy plopped down in the oak chair on the other side of her, now making the table full. Well, that answers that question, Shay thought. She mentally buckled down. Apparently her friend was in one of those moods.

Narrowed eyes studied her, "How many hours of sleep did you get?" Cass's lips were held in a grim and straight line, fingers tapping the table in tension. This felt like a trick question.

A pause, "What time is it?"

"Just past eight in the morning," came the biting reply. Andrew stayed quiet and flicked his eyes between the two.

"Hmm, more or less four hours then. More than the night before." Shay immediately snapped her mouth shut after she realized the last part had been out loud. Cassidy's husband winced with a 'you're doomed' look on his face. The red head herself had a dark expression sliding across her features. It was too early for this interrogation. She'd just woken up.

"Four hours. Four hours?! Dammit Shay! When are you going to the doctors? Enough is enough already. You look like you're more than half dead!" the female's tone turned shrill with annoyance and Shay sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"It's just a virus or something. The most they'll do is tell me to wait it out or give me some antibiotic that may or may not work." Shay was quite sure they couldn't do anything but didn't want to risk going in to see what they might find.

"It's been five days!"

"Four."

"SHAY!" The taller woman shouted in exasperation and stood, placing hands on the table as she leaned over to glare down at the other female. Her husband had successfully extracted himself from the situation by sneaking into the kitchen to fix breakfast. Out of sight, out of mind and all that. Although that wouldn't really work here because the kitchen wasn't blocked off from the main room. Still, Andrew was a pretty smart man and he knew better than to get involved. The only time those two got into an argument was when Cassidy's impulsive temper clashed with Shay's stubbornness, or in this case, denial.

Scratching mouse brown hair out of her eyes, Shay looked tiredly at her friend, "What tipped you off that I didn't get a lot of sleep?"

Fist clenched and hands on her hips, the fiery haired woman snorted, "Besides the fact that you were asleep on the table? A full cup of tea sitting out. You never waste or leave dishes."

A blink. She'd completely forgotten about the drink. Cassidy blew out an exasperated breath before forcing herself to sit down again. The taller female gazed at Shay as the clink of plates from Andrew fixing food could be heard. Oil hissed as the skillet heated up. Muffled noises from the tenants below revealed that everyone was getting ready for the new day.

"I just had to give you guys that spare key, didn't I?" Shay muttered to herself as she stood to make a fresh cup and some coffee for her guests. Bare feet tiptoed across the cold floor.

Andrew threw a grin over his shoulder, "Yep. Your own fault you know."

The exhausted woman hopped up onto the counter to keep her toes warm and pulled out a dry tea bag from the cabinet. A look back showed Cassidy who was impatiently tapping her fingers on the table while giving dark glances. Her almost green eyes flickered between her husband and childhood friend. Finally Shay held up her hands in surrender.

"Alright. If I'm still this sick four days from now..."

"Two."

"Two, days from now, then I'll set an appointment with a doctor. Are we good?" The brown haired shorty poured scalding water in her mug and got down to get two cups for her friends. The only reason she had a coffee maker in the first place was for them and how often they came over. Cassidy just let out a huff and nodded.

Then smiled a moment later as she accepted the caffeinated drink, "Oh and by the way, Shay?"

"Hmm?" she paused and turned around.

Cassidy's face took on an amused shade, "You really really look like you got hit with a bus. Watch out for traffic better, huh?"

Sideswipe hated Mondays. He absolutely believed in the human's saying that there was nothing good about that day of the week. Sulking, the carnelian mech retreated to his quarters, all the while running previous events through his processor. It had started with arriving late to his shift that morning.

The frontliner had gotten barked at by an irritated Prowl, even when he tried to explain that the showers in the wash racks had been shorting out while he was in there. His suggestion that they needed to be fixed had been received with an irritated look from the tactical officer who apparently didn't believe his excuse. For the tardiness, Sideswipe earned himself an extra two hours on monitor duty. Which, all in all, wasn't that bad compared to the normal punishments he got for prankery and other every day shenanigans.

No, it had still been quite alright. Until he was on patrol with Trailbreaker and Iron-aft. The previous was alright but the latter made his life pit when he felt like it. But he'd been told to stay put at a particular location while Breaker took up his position several blocks over and the hulking warrior himself did some rounds. The flashy lambo didn't do staying put very well. But he had for once! Except it earned him an inch of melty slush on his exterior and mud sprays from passing drivers. By then irritation had set in.

Day still going down hill, their patrol had ended with bored stunticons who were looking for a fight. The look of disgust thrown his way by Dead End due to the frontliner's muddy state made him clench his denta and thoroughly enjoy beating the slag out of the dull red sports car. He wasn't as vain as Sunstreaker (few were), but who likes disgusted looks from the enemy? No one, that who. And then Dragstrip managed to hit his jet pack with a stray shot. Meaning it was a useless sparking mass of wires and metal sheathing. Meaning Sideswipe couldn't practice his favorite sport, Jet Judo, when the coneheads showed up.

It didn't matter that Sunstreaker wasn't there to help. He could do it by himself. If he could get up there that is. Which he couldn't, because his fraggin' jet pack was broken!

'Miserable glitch-rats,' Sideswipe thought viciously as cerulean optics glared.

Returning to base hadn't helped in the slightest. Ratchet only patched up the major wounds before kicking him out with a promise to fix the jet pack later and a threat to 'stay out!' until told otherwise. The Doc currently had to repair an Aerialbot because someone had pushed someone else over a cliff and the pushed person hadn't had enough time to make a good landing. It involved a scraped up mountain side, many panicked woodland creatures, and bits of trees in between someone's plating.

So Sideswipe's jet pack was downgraded on the priority list. He could handle that. He could. As soon as he went to the wash racks because mud/snow/slush trickling around wires and circuits was uncomfortable. Not to mention the squelching noise was starting to get annoying.

The showers still kept randomly stopping. Resisting the urge to whine in frustration, the ruby bot just finished cleaning out the gunk. It may have taken three times as long as it should have but now there would be not more odd looks from those slagging cons because he was a mess...

"Sideswipe, you were supposed to report to the security office fifteen minute ago!" He looked down at a scowling Gears.

'Oh, that's right...' Sideswipe thought before shuttering and resetting his optics. Instead of replying, the taller mech just nodded and followed the grumbly minibot to his post. The uncommon silence wasn't ignored though. Studying him with the usual frown, the red and blue mini questioned it.

"What's up with you? Not that I like your usual cheer, mind you. It's annoying. I'm not going to complain about the quiet either..."

A hysterical laugh threatened to bubble up at the complete irony of Gears' statement, but Sideswipe managed to tamp it down and shake his black helm, "Nothing you'd care about. Don't we have monitor duty?"

To which he spent an extra long shift sitting in front of many screens and doing absolutely nothing. It was agony. How did everyone else deal with this monotone? The only company was the occasional gripe from Gears and the ever present Security Chief Red Alert. Still, he got through it without losing his cool and was now headed back to his room. Hopefully were he could recharge and put this day behind him.

What had he done to annoy karma? Sideswipe couldn't think of anything particular that would piss off the human deity. Maybe karma made a deal with Primus to screw with his day? Maybe it was because he'd magnetized Cliffjumper to the rec room ceiling the other day. More likely the incident two weeks ago involving Blaster. He'd managed to spray invisible sticky paint on the DJ before dumping a box of foam peanuts on the orange mech. Every tiny movement had produced a rubbery squeaking sound and Blaster had looked like a giant marshmallow monster. It had been hilarious. Yeah...it was probably the latter prank.

But hey! He'd dealt with enough scrap today already thank you! Surely he could just relax and recharge now right?

Venting a sigh, the tired and frazzled frontliner punched in the code to unlock his quarters. The door didn't open. For a few seconds he just stared with uncomprehending disbelief. Then he tried again. Slower now, he was more careful about which keys onyx digits fell on and was absolutely sure the code he put in was his.

No movement. No doors sliding to the side. No recharge for a thoroughly fed up frontliner.

Again. AgainAgainAgainAgain. Sideswipe felt his frustration hitting the roof and turning to anger as his fist smacked the key pad. Revving his engine in displeasure, he stomped before whirling to punch the insultingly orange walls that surrounded him.

Sunstreaker stalked around the corner, no doubt picking up on the rise in Sideswipe's somewhat rare temper. Crossing hes arms, his brother waited. With harsh, slow and deliberate jabs, Sideswipe once more put in the code and waited to see what his twin would do about the problem. The gold bot looked at the code, looked at Sideswipe and forced his face into a more neutral expression.

"You do realize that's the old code. We changed passwords last week, remember?"

A keen rose up as Sideswipe harshly vented in an attempt to cool his angrily heating circuits. He needed to calm down. After all, their medic would have a problem if the frontliner put his horned helm through the wall.

Sideswipe hated Mondays.

Faster faster faster

There was a road and she was zipping along it. Not running, it didn't feel like running. Not a bike ride...maybe she was driving?

She didn't know or care at the moment. It wasn't important. Trees blocked the left side while the right opened up to large fields and waves of grass. But that was irrelevant. Hardly noted.

Faster faster. Rising anger sidled in her veins, spreading until she felt like a helium balloon about to burst. Violent thoughts and the urge to tear curled like wisps around her mind and sang a tempting song. She was moving moving moving. Going faster because she couldn't hold still. There was too much anger.

The cool pavement flew by under her as clenched hands turned the wheel and tires gripped their traction to the asphalt. (Oh hey, she was driving) Rounding a curve, the vehicle straightened before her foot slammed the gas pedal down farther. Teeth ground against each other in mounting fury. An engine roar. Faster. She was so angry. She needed to rip something apart.

?

A pause, as the slightest feeling of wrongness was pondered. Something...something was missing. What was it? Where?

Surroundings disappeared in a kaleidoscope of colors and brief images as she was searching (searching) for something. It was missing. Find it find it find it. Reach reach reach. Frantically she dashed here and there looking. Panic overtook the anger. Reach reach reach. Reach farther. She couldn't find it.

Denial/pain/grief

No! She had to find it! It was so important. Where? Where is it!?

A wail echoed in the place that wasn't when she realized what she was looking for wasn't there. No no no no gone gone gone gone. Whatever, whoever, she was looking for wasn't there. Her breath came out in ragged short gasps as another scream burst loose to drown out any other sound. No! No! It couldn't be, it couldn't! They weren't...they...

Dead?

The glimmery sharp thought cut like a shard of glass, slicing past skin and muscles to get to cartilage and bone beneath. Perhaps...perhaps they were dead?... A cold chill started in her fingertips and slithered up her arms, leaving goose bumps. But it wasn't enough to envelope the complete loss that made her heart skip a beat. Breath froze for a moment before returning.

Dead...

NO

Gone..

NONONO!

Cold metal pressed into her chest, right in the center and left of her heart. Circular in design, she didn't need to see the weapon to know it was the barrel of a gun. The firearm gave the whole situation a new and more dangerous angle. Like standing on the edge of a chasm and just a waiting to fall. A click sounded, the trigger pulled, flash flash light, pain.

The shot rippled through her, leaving a hole in both sides. She dropped to her knees with a roar. Clutching her chest in agony, thoughts turned desperate and murderous.

Find them.

Heavy hands tore against the surroundings. Claustrophobia in the black. She would destroy it all.

Protect them.

Tear apart the threat. Find them find them find them find them... A peal of thunder and seething madness bellowed out. Rage burned away the darkness and painted it in shades of harsh red.

Rip Shred Destroy the threat

Find them find the find them find them find them find them find the-

Pain flared in her skull and ribs as she crashed into the floor on her back. Shay jolted awake with a start. For a moment the woman forced herself to breath and calm her racing heart. Gingerly she picked herself up off the carpet and stared blankly around her bedroom. A trembling hand smoothed back sweat damped hair as she took in the bed she'd rolled off of.

Blankets and pillows had been flung across the room and now lay in a crumpled heap near the walls. The nightstand had been overturned, lamp on the floor and cracked. Glass from the shattered bulb winked within the woven rug. Shay turned to silently pad past the rose nightlight by the door and entered the bathroom.

Stumbling blind fingers found the switch and lit up the figure in the mirror. Haunted and far too pale eyes stared from the reflection. Even though it was chilling outside and not exactly toasty in here, perspiration still trickled over the young woman's skin and dampened her winter pajamas. Eyes closed momentarily before opening again. Shay turned the squeaky left knob on the faucet and splashed the drops on her face before drying off. Exhaling, she gripped the cheap fake tile counter and leaned forward to gaze into the looking glass.

Her irises were never that bleached. Never. Except... A memory flickered through her mind as she thunked her head on the counter. Of course.

Shay never had almost gray eyes. Just like she never went into an unchecked and blind rage. Except for one time. The female had completely forgotten her eyes changing once before.

She couldn't actually find it in herself to care at the moment. Shay lifted her head to peer once more at the bored looking human in the mirror and fading paleness before she shut off the light and retreating to her bedroom. Getting dressed in the dark, the woman felt indifference settle over her like a mantle. This would worry her later, undoubtedly. It had become a repeated cycle. Apathetic stretches for long periods of time and then occasional burst were she couldn't contain herself. When she could work up the will to care, the woman worried that she was loosing empathy. But what could one do about that if they didn't feel anything in the first place?

Besides, these fits of extreme emotion were causing problems. Shay was lucky she was normally good at control, or her bosses would be questioning why they hired her. So far, no one had noticed when the adverse mood swings struck. But that didn't mean it was easy to hide the twisting emotions that rose up without warning. They usually didn't even match what was going on around her. And she kept getting angry at odd times when there really wasn't anything to set her off. Like that nightmare she'd just had. Stupid nightmare. Didn't she get so little sleep as it was?

Speaking of work. Tiredly the woman swept up light brown hair into a simple braid and glanced at the clock. So she'd be a couple hours early to her seven am shift. Wouldn't be the first time within the last two months.

A grimace rose as she recalled the previous time. Those few days when she'd been sick were not among her favorite memories. The pain fits and all else had stopped one day before she'd been about to schedule a meeting with a doctor. Cassie had been quite adamant that she still go but had not ground since Shay appeared to be getting better.

Key word: appeared.

Sure, she wasn't ill any longer and the never ending chill in her chest was mostly ignored now. But insomnia continually plagued her. The short and now thin woman only ate because she had too and not because it actually seemed appetizing or she was hungry. Shay rarely was nowadays. Recently she'd noted more and more instances of dizziness and forgetting what she was doing right when she was doing it. Lack of sleep was the excuse she was going with.

Feet now enclosed in thick socks and snow covered boots clomped into the kitchen as she ate a slice of buttered bread and packed a small lunch. A glimpse passed over a garden themed calender that spelled out November in big letters but her mind didn't acknowledge the information.

Dressed warmly and purse in hand, Shay stepped out of her apartment and locked the door behind her. Several flights of stairs later, the woman walked out into the murky winter city. Fresh flakes of frozen water floated down from above but she hardly noticed. They would be half melted and muddy in an hour or two anyway. Keeping to the shoveled sidewalk, she set off in the dark

.

.

Almost there guys. Shay is finally deciding to move her stubborn aft. Prepare for Decepticons ahead!